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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Oh hey! I saw this a while ago on Fimf! When the site was still small that is
Or was it just fanfiction.net?
Either way I remember this story. It gave me lolz.
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m07cu3G0or1qze8f7.gif
292687 I think it might have been FiMF. Not entierly sure tbh.
And it wasn't meant to be much more then that tbh hehe. (possibly a bellow average clopfic for those into that)
Fluttershy is not auburn, that is a shade of brown; use a yellow like canary.
294356 I think it was written as that color to compliment/make up for the fact it was supposed to be dark or something, can't remember, was ages ago I wrote this heh.
294640
Then use a darker shade of yellow for the implied shadows; yellow doesn't turn to brown in the dark.
295490 Tbh, I'm not entirely sure what the auburn part was supposed to be, but it could have been the whole "taint" area (or w/e it's called), althou it is not specified, so I really don't know what it was supposed to be xP Ah well, as said, wrote it almost a year ago.
298261
298792 I know. But this one was actually proofread+edited, somewhat. And I think the mistake could have been on that part. either that they simply got the color wrong.
Have to apologize for being vague heh, I tend to have a bit of a bad habit coming out as such of what I am meaning or referring to. It comes with the syndromes, partially.
303242
Only partially understood that statement, but I understand the mind not translating to mouth/fingers issue.
304525 That was kinda the important part of that message heh.
But yeah, as said. I got quite a bit of problem with that, as well as knowing the difference of informal and formal. And trailing of, I do that way to often. But In either case, I don't aim for being a good writer, since I know I can't. Or at least would have to spend years to progress what others do in months. (or months for weeks) But yeah, but to the point: Yes, I should change the coloration, or location she is looking at. Will do that now.
305430
You are a decent writer, boyo. I wouldn't waste my time otherwise.
306581 I guess. That would make sense heh...
Lots of grammar and spelling issues, and I can't help wondering why you used quotation marks to denote thoughts instead of using the established method of italics. That said, the premise is interesting, and Rainbow Dash trying to outdo her friend in cunnilingus seems in character. Damn pony needs to be the best at everything.
But yeah, if you went back and cleaned up the prose a bit, you'd have a winner on your hands.
902216
This was actually my first fic tbh. I've given it a slight tune up, but many of the odd wordings are due to my autism, so myself proofreading ain't always effective as I see the mix of formal/informal as natural. And have to say, not sure why I didn't use italics hehe. Not overly sure if I'm improved much since this fic, but I'd like to think so. If this was of any interest, I think I have at least one more fic of this genre with non-overly weird content xP Thanks though, I think, it's 4 am, really woozy
'allot' is not a word. You probably meant 'a lot.'
9551694
Fixed. Along with a few other things.
I thought Robin Hanson invented "gentle rape".
9659052
Maybe. Was referring to within the fandom though.