Even pinkie sense couldn't predict this

by Megacoll51

What to do next...

My heart was torn, I wanted to confort pinkie, hang with her, do SOMETHING to make her feel better, but the rest of me didn't want to accidentally express my feelings for that adorable pink mare... i was thinking about it when scootaloo burst into my room. "rainbow dash? can't you just tell her? her mane is all strait and she's really sad..." i got angry at scootaloo for saying such a thing

"i cant just TELL her, what if she doesn't like me back..." scootaloo sat there for a second.

"oh no rainbow dash i mean tell her that you don't hate her... she seems to think that..." i felt embarrassed

"oh yeah scoots, i'll stop by her house later...maybe"

"okay rainbow dash she needs you" scootaloo walked out of the room. I sat there for a minute. I GOT IT! I'll ask twilight what to do! And so I flew out to twilight's place.
/)*(\
I headed back to sugarcube corner and told the other Cutie Mark Crusaders.

"Well lets talk to twilight! She's smart!" Sweetie belle suggested.

"Ahll right, lets go ta twilight's. she knows lots about, EVAREH thang!" Applebloom agreed. We said goodbye to pinkie and told her to stay here. We walked to twilight's to see Rainbow Dash about I fly off.

"RAINBOW DASH! Where you going?"

"Uh-"

"sugarcube corner is THAT way!" I pointed. Rainbow Dash nodded and flew off before we could stop her. We walked inside to see twilight and spike, doing something strange.
/)*(\

'What the hay were they doing?' Was my first thought. "Twilight?" I asked

"oh hi girls!" Twilight stood up. "Me and spike were practicing fortune telling, not working if you ask me!" Twilight laughed. Spike looked at twilight dreamily, we began to snicker . Twilight pushed him away
"what's so funny?" We all pointed at her mane, it looked like rarity's! She brushed her mane mumbling something along the lines of "dumbrainbowdash" we told her our story. She facehoofed,
"Rainbowdash! That featherbrain! That won't work with pinkie!" She looked torwards me and whispered something in my ear,
/)*(\

"ME?" Sweetie belle asked histarcaly. Twilight nodded.

"Now sweetie will explain on the way, you need to tell Rainbow Dash!" We ran off sweetie told us the plan. Rainbow Dash was just about to leave, just in time, I thought.

"Rainbowdash! Wehavesomthingimportainttotellyou!" Scootaloo yelled at Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash looked at us.

"What now squirt? I am busy!" We explained that it needed to be a song, NOT a note and some other details of importance.

"Oh ok, pinkie is pinkie, help me write the song ok?" We nodded and got right to work.
/)*(\
I heard a knock on the door 'who could that be?' I thought to myself. I opened the door

"SPECIAL SONG BY RAINBOW DASH FOR MRS. PINKAMENA DIANE PIE!" Scootaloo said nopony called me that, Only my family, except on serious Occasions. Sweetie belle began to sing. By the end of the song I was in tears, happy tears! I broke into the BIGGEST SMILE EVER! And ordered them to take me to the suddenly musical mare. Rainbow Dash was sitting on a chair by the lake I hopped on her to hug her. Who knew that she was such a deep sleeper, speaking of sleep, I am POOPED! I guess I could take a short nap.

Author's Note:

Rainbow Dash to scootaloo to sweetie belle to applebloom to pinkie pie

Comments

[Megacoll51]

two dislikes? WHY?

[Curly_Q]

This story has a looooot of potential... So far, it's good....
It does have some issues, though.. mostly with grammar, which would probably explain the dislikes....
In many places, you didn't capitalize the ponies' names. You have a few sentences that don't make sense. I also recommend you use italics for thoughts to help separate it and make it easier and more enjoyable to read.
However, I must say that the idea you have for this story is brilliant
It just needs quite a bit of work...
I can help you if you would like.

[Megacoll51]

3244478 I'd LOVE for you to help! Thankyouthankyouthankyou! I'm gonna start the next chapter now!

[Megacoll51]

3263682 Rainbow Dash is afraid of accidentally confessing her feelings to Pinkie while pinkie likes her as well. the cutiemark crusaders are trying to help. sorry it was confusing. (nice name choice )

[Pinkaliciouse pie]

It would be a lot better if it was less confusing but still good job

[Megacoll51]

3284768 yay?

[Luxina]

More plz