The Wandering Physicist Adventures

by WanderingPhysicist

Filling Time

Main Characters: Rei, TWP, Twilight
Cameos: Spike, Derpy, Rainbow Dash, Kaeko
Original Write Date: November 4, 2011

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Tsukiyo Rei is bored. She is bored, bored, bored, BORED! She is laying on her bed staring at the ceiling trying to figure out how to turn her whole room upside down. She knows it must be possible since the room just appeared one day after she arrived to this dimension. She knows it has to do with that weird closet that is bigger on the inside. Maybe Lucas knows how. He has magic.

Rei stops to think about Lucas a bit. He is an odd pony. His unicorn magic is different from other unicorns. He can cast a large number of small spells, but he does not specialize in any one magic. He also knows a lot about Rei’s homeland, although it is from video games and cartoons. Rei laughs at how goofy Lucas can be. If only she were a little older, she would totally kidnap him and make him date her without it looking creepy. Maybe tomorrow.

Rei hears the back entrance open and shut. Given the time of day, she knows it is not Mr Wanderer or Lucas since they would be busy working. There are no plans for any guests to come over. Rei does not have that many friends in town yet since she is still a little nervous around other ponies her age in this universe. She listens closely. She hears footfalls so she knows it is not Fluttershy or Selene since they are fellow pegasi and light on their feet. She knows it is not Pinkie Pie since her hooves squeak when she walks. Rei must find out how that works!

Rei quickly flies out of her room and loops around the building to find the best ambush position. The intruder enters the living room, and Rei shoots in through the window. She grabs the intruder as they tumble across the floor.

Rei strikes a ninja pose. ‘In the name of the moon, I will punish you!’

‘What the heck is your problem!’ a prone Twilight Sparkle shouts.

Twilight is this dimension’s Element of Magic. For a while, Rei thought Twilight was dating Mr Wanderer. They used to spend a lot of time together until recently. Rumor has it that Mr Wanderer and Pinkie Pie were making out in the middle of the town. When Twilight heard the rumor, she was quite upset. She had a very loud fight that Rei was not allowed to watch. Rei bets it would have been fun. Rei has not seen either Twilight or Pinkie since that day. Twilight must not be mad any more.

‘Oh! Hi!’ Rei beams. She offers a hoof to help Twilight up.

Twilight takes the hoof and dusts herself off. She gives Rei her most upset glare.

‘It is good to see you again.’ Rei bows a little. ‘How can I help you, ojoo-sama!’

Twilight sighs at Rei. ‘I was just here to return...’ She cocks her head to one side. ‘Why are you acting like you are trying to distract me?’

Rei stops spinning in circles along her azimuthal axis while waving her limbs wildly. ‘Uh... Because.. if you, uh... Can I stay and watch this time?’

Twilight snaps around to see The Wandering Physicist behind her. He does not look as upset as Twilight does at this moment, but Rei knows that he does not have to look the part for the fun to begin.

Without looking away from Twilight, The Wandering Physicist replies, ‘If you promise not to come out, I’ll show you how to rotate your room later.’

Rei’s eyes go wide with excitement. She instantly rushes into her room. She is too excited to do anything thing but sit on her bed and wait for Mr Wanderer to call her. She gets less excited when she hears the TARDIS powering up. Her excitement goes to nil once the TARDIS sounds finally disappear. She just lays on her bed and starts working on the most sad rejection face she can possibly muster.

There is a tap on Rei’s door. ‘Rei. Dinner.’ Rei bolts up, then swears as she hits her head. Out of boredom, she had found a way of wedging herself under her bed, but she had stopped when she got stuck and found she had no exit strategy. There must be some political implication. She wiggles her way out and heads out of her room.

‘Hi!’ Pinkie greets as Rei exits her room. Pinkie is the only pony Rei knows who likes fun as much if not more than she does. Rei wonders if Pinkie’s pegasus twin Surprise exists in this dimension too.

‘Hi!’ Rei replies as she wonders if Twilight is using a very cool new spell. ‘Where’s Twilight?’ she asks in hopes of revealing the disguise.

‘She had to go back to the library after our little talk.’ The Wandering Physicist replies as he sets out some bento on the table. ‘We finally worked everything out. Took long enough...’

‘We went to the moon!’ In order to talk with Twilight in a calm and rational manner, The Wandering Physicist took her to some place where she could not teleport away from easily: the moon.

‘Cool!’ Rei get excited then instantly pouts. ‘Why don’t you take me cool places?’

‘I took you to Akihabara a few days ago for the launch of that CD you wanted.’

‘Yeah, but... hmpf!’ Rei crosses her forelegs and looks away to pout more.

A bento is placed in front of her. She looks down at it. She tries really hard not to smile at the rice pattern made to look like her. The hair is even made out of rice dyed blue, and OMG! The cutest red tomatoes for her eyes.

‘Itadakimasu!’ Rei cheers as she starts digging in.

‘We also went...’ The Wandering Physicist cuts Pinkie off with a hoof to the mouth and shake of the head. Since Twilight was not convinced by The Wandering Physicist’s and Pinkie’s calm and rational arguments, they also took Twilight to the moment when time was frozen. Seeing what her friends went through was enough to convince her. The Wandering Physicist releases Pinkie.

‘Poor Oatmeal. He was crazy.’ Pinkie laments when free. Twilight was so upset that she cast a spell on Oatmeal the troll. The spell was amplified when it broke the time seal. The troll was blasted so hard he was mysteriously teleported away.

Rei looks up with rice covering her face. ‘Does this mean everything is cool again?’

The Wandering Physicist sighs. ‘Cool enough. It will take time to regain all of that trust again.’

‘Twilight is a smarty, friendy pony. She will be back to normal in no time!’ Pinkie reassures. ‘She isn’t the Element of Friendship for nothing!’

‘I thought she was the Element of Magic.’ Rei says as she glares at a tempura broccoli as if that would make it go away somehow.

‘But friendship IS magic, silly!’ Pinkie replies with a big smile.

‘Speaking of which, Rei, you need to get out more,’ The Wandering Physicist adds.

Both Rei and Pinkie look up from eating and stare at The Wandering Physicist in shock. A large mass of nori drops from Pinkie’s face.

‘What!’ The Wandering Physicist protects. ‘Just because I am one way doesn’t mean she is, too. I mean, she is a white pegasus version of you, Pinkie.’

‘But I am not blonde!’ Rei interjects, confusing the others. Apparently, Surprise does not exist.

‘She spends all of her time with me and Lucas. She needs friends her own age.’

‘You’re right!’ Pinkie agrees. ‘Lucas is close, but you’re not only old enough to be her father, you are old enough to be her great-great-great-great-great grandfather!’

The Wandering Physicist rubs his temple in frustration. ‘Thank you, Pinkie.’

‘No problem!’ Pinkie returns to munching her nori.

Rei sighs and contemplates what horrors await her.

The next day, Rei finds herself sitting in the middle of the library while Twilight goes about her business.

‘Making new friends, huh,’ Twilight says as she marches past reading a book. ‘Well, I know some ponies who could use my notes better than you.’

Rei groans at the less-than-subtle dig at her caretaker.

‘Anyway,’ -- Twilight levitates a roll of parchment over to Rei -- ‘here are my notes on the subject.’

‘This doesn’t seem that bad,’ Rei says, looking over the parchment.

‘Those are only the ones she has edited for publishing,’ Spike comments as he enters with a large pile of scrolls in his arms. ‘Here are the rest that still have to be quadruple-checked for spelling, grammar, footnotes, and have an index made for them.’

‘Don’t forget the bibliography!’ Twilight beams as she levitates a large scroll to Rei.

Rei lets out a terrible moan as she surveys the amount of reading.

‘Tell me about it,’ Spike agrees.

‘Don’t worry. All of the books I reference are in stock and both of us are here to help if needed. In fact, I would be honored to help you make new friends,’ Twilight offers.

‘This better not be some crazy friendship report scheme again.’

‘Spiiiike! You know me better than that.’

‘So it is a crazy scheme,’ Spike starts, walking away. ‘I’ll warn Celestia.’

Twilight growls as Spike heads back to the study. Rei pokes at the stack of papers with a hoof.

‘Do you have this on .pdf?’

Rei is insanely bored with Twilight’s friendship lesson. While Twilight is going on, the filly puts the finishing touches on her papier-mache tribute to world peace. It is currently taking the form of a giant blob of wet paper and glue. Also, the glue tastes horrible!

‘...and that brings me to what I like to call Element of Friendship number Forty-Three B. Rei, are you getting this down?’

‘Perfectly.’

‘Then why don’t I hear...’ Twilight turns around and sees the art project. Her jaw drops and her face goes paler than Rei. ‘My... my... n, n, notes!’

Rei’s mobile rings and instantly comes on. ‘Rei! What did you do!’ is shouted out by The Wandering Physicist.

Twilight snatches the mobile with her magic. ‘Your idiot daughter destroyed all of my notes on friendship!’

‘For a nerd, she doesn’t know much about scanners!’ Rei shouts. She glares at Twilight. ‘I scanned everything before I did anything to them. Twice. With links between the documents.’ She turns away in a huff. ‘Not that either of you don’t mind jumping to conclusions.’

Twilight stares at the upset Rei. ‘I’ll call you back.’ She deactivates the mobile. ‘Rei, I know you meant well, but you have a lot to learn about...’

Twilight shouts and ducks as a tribute to world peace flies at her head. There is a crash as a white pegasus flies through a window. Twilight sighs and activates the mobile again.

‘We have a bit of a problem...’

Rei is flying as fast as she can. She does not know where to yet, but she is going to get there no matter what. She sees a cloud in front of her, takes aim and BAM! She flies head first into the cyan pegasus who was sleeping on it.

‘Hey! What is the big deal!’ Rainbow Dash yells.

‘Sorry. I was just...’ Rei looks away, sad.

‘You’re Jimmy’s kid! Sorry about yelling at you.’

‘I am not his kid,’ Rei scowls.

‘Right. Sorry. What’s bugging ya, squirt?’

‘Twilight yelled at me after I tried helping her out.’

‘That is not very nice. What did you do for her?’

‘I scanned all of her notes about friendship and turned the scrap into a sculpture for her.’

‘You turned Twilight’s notes... into a sculpture.’

‘Yeah...’

‘And you made it out alive?’ Rei looks confused. ‘She once literally tried biting my head off when I used one of her notebooks as a coaster, when she was the one forcing me to use a coaster in the first place.’

‘That’s not very nice.’

‘No, it wasn’t. I should have known better.’

‘Wait. What?’

‘Personal property, kid. Gotta learn to respect it.’

‘But, I’m a princess! I am better than that!’ Rei argues, invoking her position from her homeworld. Well, she was really a duchess by title, but... shut up! This is her story, and she will tell it how she wants.

‘Kid, here you’re not a...’

‘Get down!’ Rei dives into the cloud knowing white-on-white will conceal her. ‘I’m not here.’

Rainbow Dash looks around. She sees The Wandering Physicist walking up with his magic soundy thingy scanning the sky. He stops when he finds Rainbow Dash.

‘Hey, Jimmy! Looking for something?’ Rainbow Dash greets.

‘Yes. I seem to have lost Rei. Have you seen her?’

Rei bites Rainbow Dash’s leg before the older pegasus can reply. ‘Not at this time. Is she in trouble for something? Like biting somepony in the leg?’

The Wandering Physicist sighs. ‘No. Not yet. If you see her, tell her that Twilight and I want to talk with her. Just talk. No yelling will be involved.’

‘Will do!’

The Wandering Physicist and Rainbow Dash wave to each other before he heads away. Rainbow Dash turns back to her cloud and growls. A sullen Rei looks out.

‘I am sorry. I panicked.’

‘You should have let me do the talking before jumping to conclusions.’

Rei winces as her words are turned back on her. ‘I know...’

‘I am pretty sure those two are tired of fighting after these past few days, so you will probably just get that talking to.’ Rainbow Dash remembers the last time Twilight lectured her. ‘Boy, will you get a talking too.’

‘I... I’ll be going now.’ Rei starts flying away at a slower speed.

‘Don’t worry about it! It will all be fine,’ Rainbow Dash calls after Rei.

After much wandering of the skies, Rei is tired and hungry and wishes she had not left her purse and/or mobile at Twilight’s so she would get some food. The stalking of the wild lunch is going pretty poorly as it seems other ponies have caught most of the prey in the lunch’s natural habitat of the park. Rei will have to ask the mayor to impose stricter sanctions on the hunting of lunches if she is to get what she desired. Suddenly, the hunter spots its prey. Rei charges forward, leaps and catches the elusive meal and more.

‘Icky!’ Derpy complains as she pulls her hoof from Rei’s mouth.

‘Gomen nasai,’ Rei apologizes with a small bow. ‘I guess my stomach got the better of me.’

‘You should have just asked. I always have plenty of muffins to spare.’

‘Mommy. Who is that?’ a small unicorn filly asks.

‘She lives with one of mommy’s friends.’ Derpy motions to Rei. ‘Dinky, this is Rei. Rei, Dinky.’

‘Wait. How can you be her mom if...’

‘Don’t tell me you don’t understand how genetics work.’

‘Well, no, but yes, but ... HUH?!’

Derpy holds up another muffin. ‘Here. Have another one, and we can chat.’

Rei remains in the park after her nice lunch with Derpy and her daughter. Rei is convinced that Derpy can eat her weight in muffins and unlocked the achievement for that several times in her life. She is also still eternally confused on how a pegasus can have a unicorn for a daughter. A daughter....

‘I wish I had parents...’ Rei says to herself as she picks at a blade of grass in order to keep from crying. Now she really wishes she had her purse so she could hold the last keepsake they left her. Sometimes, she can almost hear them calling her...

‘Rei! Rei!’

‘Where are you, Rei!’

Rei looks up. Somepony was actually calling her name. She looks around for the source then immediately looks for a place to hide when she sees The Wandering Physicist and Twilight walking up. Without much time to think, Rei takes to the skies again.

‘Gotcha!’ Twilight casts a spell and catches Rei by the tail with her magic.

Rei resists as hard as she can and breaks Twilight’s grip. A silver pegasus cuts Rei off.

‘Come with us, dozo,’ Kaeko commands.

Rei sighs and lands. The Wandering Physicist and Twilight gallop over. They look at her sternly then sigh.

‘We’re going back to the library,’ The Wandering Physicist says.

‘We’re just going to talk,’ Twilight assures.

Rei stares at the ground and nods. The group of ponies walk away.

Back at the library, Rei is getting a lecture by Twilight on responsibility, friendship and why a flat tax is doomed to fail. Off to the side, The Napping Physicist and Kaeko are waiting their turns to speak.

‘...and that is why Governor Prairie was completely wrong for running on that platform,’ Twilight concludes. ‘Mr Wanderer, Miss Umaku, anything you would like to add?’

Kaeko shakes her head. She gives The Wandering Physicist a small nudge.

‘Waffles!’ The Wandering Physicist look around and once again finds the glare that had been missing from his life until just the day before. ‘What were we talking about?’

‘I was just telling Rei about the dangers of a wasted youth,’ Twilight growls.

‘Using examples from your own life, right?’

Twilight’s horn glows for a moment and a lightning bolt strikes The Punished Physicist’s rear.

‘Ow!’ The Electrocuted Physicist leaps into the air. ‘Sorry.’ He turns to Rei. ‘Rei, listen. I just want what is best for you. I don’t want you cooped up in your room all day for no good reason.’

‘Then let me help in the shop more.’ Rei pleads.

‘I also don’t want you in the shop. You have too much energy.’

‘I can behave!’

‘You made changes to Twilight’s notes without asking her. You then destroyed her notes. You then glued that mess to the wall after throwing it at her head. You broke one of her windows. You accidentally attacked Rainbow Dash then bit her. And you stole a muffin from Derpy without asking her. Can you really behave?’

‘You started a fight with Princess Luna! Not to mention all of the mean things you have done to Twilight!’

‘And I have gotten punished for all of those things.’

‘Plus, he didn’t do them all in less than half a day,’ Twilight grumbles.

The Wandering Physicist points at Twilight. ‘Exactly. You need ponies your age to play with. That is why I asked Twilight to talk to you today. If she can get over her social phobias, anypony can.’

‘What about you?’ Rei asks.

‘I’m outside while the sun is out, aren’t I?’

Twilight facehoofs.

Rei looks down as she tries to come up with another excuse. ‘What is Umaku-san doing here? I didn’t do anything to her.’

‘I am here because Wanderer-san asked me to be.’ Kaeko says. ‘I was around your age when my family moved to Equestria, so I know what it is like being a foreigner here and being scared to make new friends.’

‘I-I-I’m not scared! I am Fullmoon! Duchess of Neighpon. I can make friends with anypony I want.’

Kaeko calmly walks over to Rei and sits down. Rei tries avoiding eye contact, but Kaeko is persistent. When contact is finally made, Rei looks down meekly and sits too. This is NOT the way to treat a princess.

‘What is she..?’ Twilight asks.

‘Shh! This is how she convinced me to take her to Comiket in the TARDIS in winter.’

‘Do all pegasi have The Stare?’

The Wandering Physicist nudges Twilight. She looks over and is locked into his eyes. She leans closer and closer until... CHU! Twilight instantly realizes she just kissed a stallion she was ready to send to the moon just twenty-four hours prior. (Technically, he did go to the moon but not the way Twilight intended.) The Wandering Physicist just smirks.

‘How? But...’

‘Some of us have it. Some don’t.’

Twilight opens her mouth to lecture The Manipulative Physicist, but she is stopped by a tackle-hug.

‘I am so sorry!’ A sobbing Rei says. ‘I was scared of meeting new ponies. Please teach me to be a good friend so I may have lots of them like you.’

Twilight just pats the lonely Rei on the head and gets up.

Rei is so nervous the butterflies in her stomach have butterflies in their stomachs and those butterflies are vomiting. After coming up with that lovely image, Rei starts wondering what butterflies actually taste like. She is sure they are crunchy, but they also look tender. Rei shakes her head. That is not important right now.

‘They are not as tasty as they look. Some are even poisonous.’ The Wandering Physicist comments from beside Rei. How did he know! He then gives a yawn followed by a snort. ‘Where am I!’

Other older ponies looks over and murmur before turning back to their children who all appear to be about Rei’s age. Most of the younger ponies are heading inside a large auditorium structure. A number of them greet each other and head in together.

‘Do I really have to do this?’ Rei asks.

‘Just do what Twilight taught you and you’ll do fine.’

‘But... I finished all of my schooling back home. I don’t think they can teach me anything new...’

‘Doesn’t matter to me what grades you get. I just want you to make some friends and be happy.’

The nervous pegasus kicks at the ground a bit. ‘I am not sure I can do this, Mr Wanderer.’

Rei looks over at The Sleeping Physicist. He looks very peaceful. She will really regret having to wake him. Fortunately, he takes care of that himself.

‘Van candy!’ The Creepy Physicist shouts randomly as he wakes. Shocked stares and a wide avoidance radius soon follows. A magenta unicorn walks through the empty area without a care.

‘Wanderer~~~!’

‘Rei, you’ll be fine. All you have to do is take that first step.’

‘But!’

‘No “buts”. I’ll tell you what my father told me before I was taken to the academy on my planet. “Son, I am going to bed now. Keep it the... censored down and get some censored sleep!” ... We had a complicated relationshi....’ The Wandering Physicist trails off as he falls asleep again.

Rei laughs at her mentor’s goofy behavior. She gives him a small nuzzle on the cheek.

‘You’d make a great dad.’

Rei turns back to the building, readies herself, and marches forward. She is ready for whatever challenge faces her, but are they ready for her? Dun-dun-dun-DUN! Dun-dun-dun. Dun-dun...

No, the Star Wars theme would be better here, Rei concludes.

Author's Note:

Fun fact: This chapter was literally created as a filler chapter between ideas. Surprisingly, the 'going to school' conclusion is the center of a lot of Rei's future events.

Story Timeline: First cameo of Stormy, added after his real first chapter.

Comments

[VedaQuila]

Why no comments?!

[midnightshadow1]

the creepy Physicist

[tocsin1990]

Man, im reading this while listening to shibayan, and he makes a comiket reference.

I died.

just. dead.

[WanderingPhysicist]

3963698

Wait until you get to the chapters where the characters recreate some of my adventures in Japan