Vote of Confidence
Main Characters: TWP, Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Pinkie, Mayor Mare
Cameos: Marvel, DC, Image, Kaeko, Tim, Coal, Ruby Dart, Rei, Inkie, Rarity, Fluttershy, Filthy Rich, Rachel Meadow, Carrot Top
Original Write Date: May 13, 2012
At The Chaos Theater, all the residents of the nerd district have gathered for an important debate. Marvel and DC are on the stage while the rest of the ponies are seated in the first couple rows.
‘Election season is here,’ Marvel says.
‘That means, once again, the great citizens of Ponyville have turned their eyes on us,’ DC sighs.
Inkie raises a hoof from the audience. ‘Why is that?’
‘Well...’ Marvel begins, ‘People are lazy and normally not politically active. Nerds, on the other hoof, are highly political and very organized.’
‘Since we have our own caucus,’ DC continues, ‘most ponies in the city wait until we make our endorsement to pick a candidate to back.’
‘So basically, we pick the winner?’ Stormy ask.
‘More or less,’ Marvel replies.
Stormy starts up with the evilest of laughs. Every pony seated near the unicorn moves one seat over.
‘Revenge fantasies aside, we have to pick a candidate to support,’ DC states. ‘Now, do we go with the obvious best candidate or will it make us look like we are playing favorites?’
‘Who is the obvious best?’ Kaeko asks.
‘Twilight Sparkle is running this year,’ Dream Maker answers. ‘Her character sheet is perfectly min-maxed for the job.’
‘Hai! Hikari-chan!’ Rei cheers.
‘Is she really the best candidate?’ a pony sitting in the front asks.
The theater goes silent and looks at the questioning pony. James stands up and turns to the others. Marvel lends a hoof helping his friend to the stage.
‘I know I am the last pony you would expect to hear say that, but I am not sure Twilight is the best candidate,’ James says.
‘Are you nuts? Have you seen the others?’ Coal fires back.
‘I don’t know. Pinkie makes some good points,’ Droll replies.
‘You’re insane,’ both Coal and Inkie groan.
‘Even with this major anti-Skybound sentiment in the air, Rainbow Dash is pulling a lot of support.’ Tim throws out. ‘Not just from the Pegasus community too.’
‘Don’t forget about Applejack,’ James reminds. ‘She is well-known to be hard-working and dependable. The Element of Honesty factor helps her too.’
‘So, basically,’ -- Lucas sighs -- ‘we have good reasons to support everypony except the incumbent... and Pinkie.’
‘Traditionally, we have supported the mayor,’ Marvel says, ‘but she doesn’t stack up well against Twilight’s resume.’
‘I really think we should wait on picking a candidate,’ James insists. ‘At least until after the first debate. Wait at least that long.’
‘Second!’ Image calls from the audience.
‘Boss is usually on to something... or he is cheating.’ Lucas gives a long sigh and shrugs. ‘I’m with him, too.’
‘Mr Wanderer does have a good point,’ DC says with a nod. ‘All agree to wait until after the first debate?’
Everypony cheers.
‘Good. Good.’ DC turns to James. ‘Now, do you mind telling us exactly why we should wait?’
The mayor stares at the newspaper on her desk. The headline reads: ‘Nerd Caucus Meeting Ends Without Decision’. A nervous sweat is visible all over her body, causing her dye job to run a little.
‘This is not necessarily a bad thing,’ the mayor’s political advisor says. ‘They didn’t go with their obvious bias. That means we are still in the running for their support. If we can win them over, the poll numbers will reverse instantly. You’ll see.’
At the mention of ‘poll numbers’, the mayor gets out a paper bag and starts breathing deeply. The advisor slowly starts backing out of the room.
‘Uh... I’ll leave you to your job.’ He ducks out of the room. ‘Comics are on page seven.’
The advisor closes the door behind him. The mayor calms down enough to open her newspaper past the front page. A small note falls to the desk when the mayor lifts the paper.
Twilight paces back and forth in her room. She tramples the shredded remains of a newspaper under hoof. She stops and glares at the offending headline on the Ponyville Times’ webpage. She snorts and uses her magic to close her laptop.
‘Calm down, darling. You don’t want to have an aneurism first thing after turning twenty.’
Twilight snaps her attention to a perfectly calm Rarity. The unicorn sips some tea from the breakfast Spike set out for them. Twilight stomps over to the table and sits down. She growls at the waffles on her plate.
‘So you didn’t get one endorsement,’ Rarity calmly states, ‘you are still leading in the polls and you have the backing of the unicorns, educators and most other public servants. Not to mention you have the best image consultant in Equestria.’
‘But it would have been from James...’ Twilight grumbles as she uses her magic to cut waffles.
‘Don’t worry about him,’ Rarity soothes. ‘Besides, the rumors say he has two other carts in the race.’ She smirks. ‘Or is it a cupcake and an apple?’
Twilight’s metal utensils snap under her magic. She sees red as she slowly looks at the white unicorn.
Rarity giggles. ‘Did I say rumor? I guess I meant truth.’ She sighs. ‘You really have to learn to share.’ She grins a wicked grin. ‘It is a lot more fun that way.’
‘Rarity...’ Twilight growls. ‘Let’s just plan our next move.’
Rarity giggles to herself and gets out several documents with campaign ideas. Twilight glares at her waffles again. She snorts and uses the severed head of her fork to eat.
Pinkie is having a high-level campaign meeting (tea party) with her campaign manager (Gummy), media consultant (Pumpkin Cake) and top political advisor (Pound Cake) in her campaign headquarters (bedroom). Social media director Madame la Flour is giving a presentation on the recent gains by their Twitter campaign.
‘That is good that Reindeer Paul supports our campaign. Nice work.’ Pinkie turns to the rest of her staff. ‘Now, what are we going to do about this headline?’
Pinkie tosses the morning paper onto the table. Pumpkin reaches for the paper. She tries putting it in her mouth before Pinkie retrieves it.
‘No, no. We don’t eat bad press, Pumpkin.’
Pound knocks over his cup. Pinkie quickly cleans up the mess before the baby gets upset.
‘Good suggestion, Pound, but we can’t pound all of our problems either.’
Gummy makes a croaking sound.
Pinkie blushes. ‘I-I don’t think he meant that sort of pounding, Gummy. Be-besides, I can’t really do that with Hayate James Wanderer. That might be considered a violation of campaign ethics.’
Gummy blinks one eye then the other.
‘Point taken. We’ll have to look for more, innovative ways to appeal to the voter.’
There is a knock on Pinkie’s door. Cup Cake looks in.
‘Pinkie have you seen... Oh! There they are. It is almost time for Pumpkin and Pound’s feeding.’
‘But we are in the middle of a campaign meeting,’ Pinkie protests.
‘Oh, that is so cute!’ Cup Cake coos. ‘I am sure you have the adorable endorsement for sure.’
‘Does that mean you and Mr Cake will be voting for me?’ Pinkie grins as wide as she can.
Cup Cake cringes. ‘Oh, um, well, we want to see all of the different platforms before we make our decision.’
‘I’ll put you down as a “yes”.’
Cup Cake sighs and puts her kids on her back. She starts trotting out of the room.
‘Vote.’ ‘Pinkie!’ the toddlers say.
Cup Cake stops her trotting. ‘Did they just say...?’
Pinkie grins. Cup Cake sighs, shakes her head and leaves to put the kids in their room. Gummy makes another croaking sound.
‘Yes, I do think that went well,’ Pinkie replies.
Rainbow Dash tents her hooves as she looks out her window. Fluttershy watches her friend from a distance. The cyan pony turns to face her friend and tosses the morning paper to the floor.
‘What is wrong with this headline, Fluttershy?’
‘Uh...’ The nervous pegasus examines the paper. ‘There is a three-pixel misalignment with the lower case ‘e’ on their font face?’
Rainbow Dash gives her friend a confused look. ‘No. Something more obvious than that.’
‘Uh...’
‘It is that it is not about me!’
‘Um, well, you are mentioned later in the article with the rest of our friends.’
‘That is not good enough, Fluttershy! The pony on every on everypony’s lips should be Rainbow Dash! Rainbow Dash should be on the tips of everypony’s tongues! Everypony should be thinking Rainbow Dash when they go to bed, wake up and during their morning shower!’
Fluttershy giggles to herself at the dirty thoughts that popped into her head. The other pegasus glares at her friend.
‘And what is so funny?’
‘EEP!’ Fluttershy hides behind her mane. ‘Nothing.’
Rainbow Dash snorts. ‘Ugh! Can’t you tell your coltfriend to tell his egghead friends to support me? We all know I am going to win. I win everything!’
‘My coltfriend...’ Fluttershy smiles and kicks at the clouds beneath her.
‘This is no time for your fantasies, Fluttershy. We have to get out there and prove to the voters that I am the best, because I am.’
‘Well, maybe you should clarify your positions on important issues facing the town.’
Rainbow Dash kicks off the ground and flies around her room while she thinks. ‘Ya know. That’s not a bad idea. Lay one on me.’
‘Well, uh, we need a bigger duck pond for the ducks.’
‘Ducks? Really?’
‘It is a very important issue. The duck family has been growing, and they need a bigger place to stay.’
‘That soooooo boooooring. Give me a real issue.’
‘The squirrels would like more oak trees in the park.’
‘Fluttershy, you’re not listening. Nopony cares about silly animal issues...’
‘I care...’
‘The voters want real issues. Something they care about.’
‘Well, the teachers are asking for a pay raise, but that would require raising taxes a little.’
‘Can’t we pay the teachers without raising taxes?’
‘Oh, no. Then we would have to take the money from somewhere else and that would make those ponies very unhappy.’
Rainbow Dash starts flying around again. ‘If we raise taxes, everypony will be unhappy. If we don’t pay our teachers, they will get upset and the foals won’t get as good an education and everypony will be unhappy.’
‘A nice, fair tax that is equal for everypony would be a good solution,’ Fluttershy hints.
‘You don’t have a foal. Do you want to pay for somepony else’s kid?’
‘Well, I might want one some day...’
‘Arg! Can’t I just go with my original idea?’
‘But where will you get the money to pay the teachers?’
‘We’ll worry about that after I’m elected.’ Rainbow Dash pats Fluttershy on the head. ‘Now! Give me another one while I’m fired up.’
Fluttershy sighs and thinks of another issue.
Applejack paces in her barn. Winona dances under the pony’s hooves, enjoying this new game of tag she found.
‘Why did Ah even do this? Ah only entered because Rainbow Dash did. Ah should jus’ quit now before Ah make a fool of mahself.’
‘Nonsense!’ a smooth voice calls from the barn door. ‘You have massive appeal. Not to mention a reputation of being the most loyal and dependable of ponies.’
Applejack turns to face her visitor. A light brown earth pony with a slicked dark grey mane smiles at the farmer. With him is his bored-looking daughter. Filthy Rich and Diamond Tiara cross the barn to meet the farmer.
‘Mr Rich?’ Applejack is confused by her visitors.
‘I am here to talk about your campaign, Miss Applejack,’ Filthy Rich replies. ‘I think I can help you.
‘Thank ya. Ah can use all the help Ah can get.’
‘Do I have to be here, daddy?’ Diamond Tiara whines.
‘Yer Apple Bloom’s classmate, right? She’s up in her room if ya want t’ play with her.’
The filly sighs and trots away. ‘I guess that will do.’
‘Ya mentioned ya were here t’ help,’ Applejack says to Filthy Rich.
‘That is correct, Applejack. I am here to help you become the next mayor,’ Mr Rich declares.
‘That’s nice and all, but...’
‘Don’t be so modest, Applejack! You would be perfect for the job. You have all of the qualifications of a great leader. You just need a little coaching and nopony can resist voting for you.’
‘Ah don’t know... Ah’m not sure if Ah really want t’ anymore.’
‘Oh, I forgot to mention that I also represent a small group of local business interests that would be happy to help with your campaign as well.’
‘What sort of help?’
‘Nothing too major, just some grassroots organizing, campaign awareness,’ -- he pauses and grins -- ‘monetary donations.’
Applejack’s ears perk up at the mention of money. She looks at Filthy Rich carefully. She knows his slick smile hides his true intent.
‘What would Ah have t’ do t’ get yer support?’
‘Oh, nothing major. Just make an appearance here, a small stump speech there, maybe adopt one or two pro-business policies, and be willing to accept all of our guidance with all the dignity and candor you are known for.’
The business pony extends a hoof. Applejack thinks hard about the subject. She slowly reaches out a hoof and shakes on the deal.
‘Ah guess that sounds all right but if the deal starts stinkin’, Ah am walkin’.’
‘You won’t regret it one bit, Mayor Applejack.’
Working at The Power Block has gotten a lot harder. Three campaigning ponies are trying to win the support of a single constituent. To keep them from disrupting business, James is meeting with Twilight, Pinkie, and Applejack in his office.
‘If you are really trying to win over the caucus, you should be next door,’ James groans.
‘Y’all have a lot more pull than ya think,’ Applejack counters. ‘Now, are ya gonna support me or not?’
‘Like he is going to support you,’ Twilight scoffs. ‘I am logically the best candidate. Everypony knows that.’
‘Fudge it!’ Pinkie shouts as she pulls a tray of confection from behind her back.
James stares at the tray of fudge and licks his lips.
‘That is bribery!’ Twilight accuses.
‘And yer waving yer tail under his snout ain’t?’
Twilight gasps. ‘Just because you’re jealous of our relationship...’
‘Ah ain’t jealous of nothin’! Ah jus’ know how t’ play fair and that ain’t playin’ fair when it comes t’ elections.’
James wipes some fudge from his face. ‘Ladies, please. You know me better than that. You know I cannot be swayed by simple gifts of delicious, delicious fudge. Stormy learned that quite painfully when I rejected his attempt to get me to save his mother.’
The mares frown and look away. James takes another bite of fudge and moans in pleasure.
‘My fillyfriend is going to kill me, but I am eating this all tonight,’ the gamer sighs.
‘Of course I’m going to kill you!’ all three mares shout.
Twilight and Pinkie catch Applejack in the shout and look at their friend. The farmer looks away and tries to act innocent. There is a knock on door.
‘Um, James, do you have a minute?’ Fluttershy peeks into the office. She squeaks when she sees it is occupied. ‘Oh, I can come back later.’
‘It is fine, Fluttershy. We were done here,’ James says before taking another mouthful of fudge.
Twilight snorts and slides the tray away from the stallion. Fluttershy creeps into the office. Her friends make room for her.
‘Actually, this isn’t for me. Rainbow Dash was...’
Everypony in the room groans. After a second, James snaps to attention. He turns to the door.
‘Lucas! You’re fired! I heard you laughing. And Rei, that was not what you were thinking. You’re grounded.’
‘OH COME ON!’ the younger ponies shout from the store.
James sighs and looks at Fluttershy. ‘Sorry, but I am not going to support a candidate yet.’
Fluttershy frowns and whines.
‘Don’ feel bad, sugarcube,’ Applejack comforts. ‘We all know how thick-skulled stallions can be. They jus’ need a bit of action t’ get through that noggin of theirs.’
‘Action... Right.’ Fluttershy nods.
There is a crash. The two mares look over to see James flailing on his desk while Twilight levitates the fudge above him. The older mares groan at the scene.
‘...Celestia bless Ponyville and Celestia bless Equestria!’
Rainbow Dash trots to the back of a stage. The crowd she was addressing cheers loudly. The pegasus laughs to herself as she opens a bottle of water with her wings. After a long drink, she looks around the room and sees the pony she wants to see.
‘Fluttershy!’ Rainbow Dash smiles. ‘Is your coltfriend on our side?’
Fluttershy kicks the ground. ‘Um. No.’
‘What? Why not?’
‘He, uh, doesn’t want to support anypony yet.’
‘Arg! He can be such a mule sometimes.’
‘Um, speaking of mules, did you have to say the things you said about them in your speech?’
Rainbow Dash smiles. ‘You like it? I got the idea from Trixie.’
‘She told you to use a lot of doublespeak and make contradicting promises?’
The cyan pegasus rubs the back of her head. ‘Well, no, but her act inspired me to put on a show. Crowds really eat that stuff up.’
Fluttershy crosses her forelegs. ‘I prefer her new show.’
‘Whatever. If we can keep getting crowds like that, not even Twilight can stop us.’
Fluttershy sighs and shakes her head. ‘If you keep saying what you said, she won’t need to stop you.’
Rainbow Dash hits Fluttershy hard on the back. ‘That’s the spirit! Glad to have you on my side.’
The yellow pegasus growls as she rubs her sore back.
A sharp jab in the back wakes Rei at the end of class. She looks behind her at an impassive Stormy.
‘Ready for lunch?’ the unicorn asks.
‘Are you buying?’ Rei asks followed by a yawn.
Stormy groans and gets up. Rei snorts and joins him and Image by the door. A sharp whistle cuts the group off.
‘Rei, Stormy, Image, I want to talk to you.’
The three young ponies groan and go to the teacher’s desk. Lyra sits with her hind legs up as she plays her lyre.
‘So.... I hear you three are of voting age now, and you are part of the Nerd Caucus,’ the teacher muses. ‘How very interesting.’
Image moans and facehoofs. ‘You talked about what candidate you support for most of the period. No more. Please.’
‘While I am by no means associated with the campaign, I am prepared to make you an offer if you are willing to support my candidate of choice.’
‘That is a violation of election ethics,’ Stormy sighs. ‘We could have you arrested.’
‘Bon Bon and I are prepared to offer you all the confection you can eat if you support my candidate.’
‘We’re leaving,’ Stormy groans.
The two colts turn and leave. Rei remains standing by the desk, staring at her teacher.
‘Tell me more of this wondrous candidate of yours,’ Rei says, barely containing the drool while thinking of the candy she will be getting.
‘Well, the most important platform Pinkie Pie has taken was promising everypony a human if she is elected... Wait! Where are you going?’
The two colts carry the smaller filly away. Rei reaches back towards the desk, flying as hard as she can to break free.
‘No! The candy needs me!’
Twilight and Rarity confer before the first debate. Twilight goes over her notecards while Rarity styles her friend’s mane. She closes her eyes and gives a big sigh.
‘Feeling stressed?’ Rarity asks.
‘More than I should be,’ Twilight sighs. ‘I was fine with debate in school, but we never had such a big crowd. I’m scared of being made a fool publicly.’
‘It will okay, deary. I peeked out front. Only James and his friends are out there. It is a very friendly crowd. Just stick to your lines and you’ll do fine. Once we have their support, it will all be over.’
Twilight takes a few deep breaths. ‘Right. You can do this, Twilight.’
‘If it helps, I have a piece of advice I give my models before a show,’ Rarity offers.
‘I’ll take all the help I can get.’
The older unicorn puts her front hooves on her friend’s shoulders. ‘You are going to do fine. If anypony gives you a hard time, I will pay you a bounty of ten bits to lay the smack down on him. Now get out there and do your best!’
‘You really pay your models to attack your patrons?’
Rarity looks away. ‘Sometimes they need a reminder to keep their hooves off the girls. Or somepony’s coltfriend needs a wake up call... or ten.’
‘That one is your own fault for inviting him,’ Twilight laughs.
Rarity scowls. ‘Go back to your notecards.’
…
Applejack gets some last-minute coaching from Filthy Rich. She is studying some notecards of her own.
‘You don’t want to attack your opponents directly. You want to hit their policies. If they have a policy that is similar to ours, make it seem like their idea is radical and ours is mainstream.’
‘But if we have a similar idea, shouldn’ we work t’gther t’ get it done?’
‘Compromise means getting them to agree to our side of view.’
‘That don’ sound right...’
‘Don’t worry. Stick to our talking points and you’ll do fine.’
‘Yeah... ‘bout those. Do we really need t’ cut business taxes so much? Won’ that hurt the town’s income?’
‘Not at all! More money in the hooves of business owners means they can spend it on their business or hire more employees. Don’t you want to have more money for your farm at the end of the day?’
Applejack scratches the back of her head. ‘Ah guess that makes sense...’
‘It is almost time for them to call you. I’ll give you a moment to prepare yourself.’
Filthy Rich leaves Applejack to her thoughts. The farm pony moans to herself.
‘Applejack, what have ya gotten yerself int’?’
The candidates are on stage. The mayor nervously looks at the confident mares around her. Applejack appears to have her head bowed in prayer. (She is really contemplating reasons to stay in the race.) Twilight appears to be analyzing the crowd. (She is really staring at one audience member in particular who is chatting with Fluttershy.) Rainbow Dash appears to be studying her fellow debaters. (She is really watching the debater glaring at her campaign advisor.) Pinkie appears to be eating a daffodil sandwich. (She is really eating a daisy sandwich.) The mayor groans at the prospect of a difficult debate for the first time in her career.
The audience for the debate is sparse at best. Aside from the whole Nerd Caucus, Lyra and Bon Bon watch from separate locations, with Bon Bon sitting near the back in case she needs to make a quick dash to get her marriage annulled. The Apple Family is out in full force to cheer their favorite candidate. Diamond Tiara sits with the Apples as a show of support for her father’s candidate. A small cross section of the town makes up the rest of the crowd including Carrot Top, Derpy, Berryshine Punch, Colgate, Caramel and Raindrops.
A brown earth pony mare steps on the stage. She is wearing a headset microphone. ‘Welcome to the first to two mayoral debates. I am editor and chief of the local branch of EqD, Rachel Meadow. I will be the moderator for the debates. As this is a town hall debate, we will pass the mic off to you, the audience, to ask the questions. Let’s begin.’
Meadow climbs off the stage, carrying a microphone to the first questioner. Marvel clears his throat.
‘Yes, my question is for Miss Applejack.’
Applejack snaps out of her haze. ‘What? I’m here. Whatcha askin’?’
‘Right... I have noticed that you are getting support from a local group of businesses.’
‘That is correct. They’re helpin’ me out.’
‘My question is, did you know that none of the businesses in that group sell products made in Equestria?’
Applejack’s eyes go wide. She looks for Filthy Rich for any sign of support, but the business pony is nowhere to be seen.
‘Well, uh, Ah didn’ rightly know that, but is it really a bad thin’ fer a company t’ try and make all the bits it can? Ah mean, they employ Ponyville folks and help them make a livin’. And in the end, ain’t that best fer Ponyville?’
Applejack puts on the widest smile she can without seeming too uncomfortable. Marvel narrows his gaze at the farmer as he takes his seat. He makes some quick notes on a pad. Twilight laughs to herself.
‘Y’all got somethin’ t’ say over there!’
‘Nothing.’
‘Didn’ sound like nothing.’
‘Miss Sparkle, would you mind sharing your thought with us?’ Meadow asks.
‘I was just thinking about how somepony who is so proud of her Ponyville heritage gets funded by ponies who are moving jobs from Equestria.’
‘Well, at least Ah’m from Ponyville!’ Applejack shouts. ‘The rest of y’all ain’t even from here!’
‘I’m from...’ the mayor tries to interject.
‘It just goes to show that you need somepony from out of town to solve your problems’ -- Rainbow Dash poses -- ‘and I am the pony to solve them.’
‘Jus’ wait a dern minute...’
‘Ahem! I will remind the candidates that hometown of origin is a moot matter as you have all been in Ponyville long enough to qualify to run for mayor.’
Rainbow Dash sticks her tongue at Applejack. The farmer grumbles to herself. Meadow moves to the next questioner. Lyra levitates the microphone in front of her.
‘I just want to say, Pinkie is the greatest candidate ever. I love your policies. Thank you so much for running.’
‘Thank you for the kind words.’ Pinkie smiles. Her expression changes to one of seriousness and she slams a hoof on her podium. ‘A human in every garage, and a muffin in every stomach!’
‘Yay, Pinkie! Woohoo!’ Derpy cheers.
All of the other candidates groan.
‘Y’all are one wheel shy of a wagon,’ Applejack mumbles.
Pinkie thinks for a moment. ‘Good thing I have plenty of fruitcake to make a new one if needed.’
Applejack facehoofs. Meadow looks for a new questioner and is waved back to DC.
‘Just a general question for all of the candidates,’ DC says. ‘How do you propose meeting potential budget shortfalls?’
‘That is a good question,’ Meadow comments. ‘Let’s start with the mayor and go around the stage.’
The mayor tenses up from actually getting called on. ‘Well, uh, I would face those problems with good fiscal discipline and tight accountability.’
‘Discipline nothin’! Y’all need t’ cut useless programs and, uh, ease up on the regulations so us ponyfolk don’ have t’ pay fer stuff that don’ work.’
‘If the budget is falling, then I will be there to catch it!’ Pinkie declares. ‘Catch it on a nice cushiony pillow or maybe a bale of hay. Ooo! A pile of feathers. No, that might not be cushiony enough. Get back to me!’
Twilight groans. ‘I have outlined a multi-point policy of streamlined budgeting and various fair tax increases on the higher earners that will not only balance the current budget but prevent possible shortfalls for the foreseeable future.’
Most of the crowd stomp in approval.
‘Pfft! Did Future Twilight help you with that?’ Rainbow Dash jeers. ‘What we don’t need now are new taxes and cutting programs that ponies enjoy! What we need now is better budgeting and more revenue for the town!’
Fluttershy double facehoofs and tries to hide. The crowd cheers for Rainbow Dash’s proposals as loud as they did for Twilight. The alicorn growls at her friend. Meadow starts looking for the next question. Twilight’s emotions go from anger at a friend to fear for her life when the moderator steps up to James.
‘Question for Miss Sparkle.’
Twilight ducks behind her podium.
‘Given that you have close ties to all three other princesses, what is keeping you from calling in a favor and having them certify you as mayor now? Surely your tight bond with the royals that rule the nation has earned you a little nepotism, princess.’
The crowd stomps in support of the question. Twilight gives a shy squeak and tries hiding more. Her friends on stage all gets smug grins as they stare at the nervous alicorn.
‘Go on, Twilight,’ Applejack laughs.
‘Yeah, we’d love to hear your answer, princess,’ Rainbow Dash goads.
‘Please don’t badger the other candidates,’ Meadow warns.
Pinkie quickly hides a large rodent she was holding out. Twilight moans and stand to the mic.
‘Yes, I do have close, personal ties with Celestia, Luna and Cadence. Cadence is my sister-in-law after all. But, I do not ask them for favors nor would I abuse my title for political gain. I may go to the others for advice on an issue, but I would weigh their guidance equally with that of my friends, who I would ask as well.’
The crowd murmurs as they ponder the answer. Twilight’s friends on stage look down as they feel bad for pushing their friend. Backstage, Rarity cackles and adds ten more bits to a small pile of money. Twilight takes a calming breath and glares at her coltfriend. Jim winks. A nearby unicorn levitates the mic to himself.
‘Yeah, uh, my question is for Dash,’ Stormy says.
‘Bring it,’ Rainbow Dash replies.
‘Yeah, given the pegasi’s past as being the more aggressive of the tribes and Skybound’s recent actions,’ -- the lone pegasus grimaces from her podium -- ‘what is your opinion on Equestria’s military?’
Rainbow Dash exhales. ‘I think that our military is strong enough to handle anything, but it could be stronger as long as funding it doesn’t come at the expense of decent, hard-working ponies. It should only be used for peaceful ventures and intervening in situations where Equestria’s security is threatened.’ She takes a moment to make sure the crowd is thoroughly confused. ‘Celestia bless Equestria!’
A number of the crowd stomp their hooves in support of the last statement. The rest of the audience tries to figure out what Rainbow Dash just said. Even Pinkie has a tough time following the logic. Meadow takes the microphone and goes to a questioner who is calmly raising her wing.
‘Thank you.’ Kaeko bows to Meadow. ‘I run a shop that specializes in items imported from Neighpon. I would like to know what the candidates’ opinions on the various import fees are. I am sure Applejack has strong opinions about them, given her supporters.’
The farm pony starts sweating. The other candidates, except for Twilight, ponder answers of their own. After a few quiet moments, Meadow clears her throat.
‘How about this time we start with Rainbow Dash and head the other direction?’
Rainbow Dash jumps and tries finishing her response. ‘Well, uh, import fees should be lowered so businesses can bring more goods to market, but, uh, we also need a way to keep markets fair so that Equestrian products are not displaced by foreign goods.’
Twilight shakes her head and laughs. ‘Or we can do something realistic. If I am elected mayor, I will work with my fellow mayors across Equestria and push for better free trade agreements that will allow the flow of goods to and from our markets from around the world. I agree with my opponent that Sweet Apple Acres apples are the best apples in Equestria, and we should be able to export them for ponies, zebras, griffins and all the creatures of the world to enjoy.’
The audience cheers at Twilight’s response. The mayor faints. Rarity checks her purse and considers making a run to the nearest ATM.
‘Shoot. That would be great,’ Applejack mumbles to herself.
Once Meadow has calmed the audience, she turns to the candidates. Pinkie helps the mayor regain consciousness. The moderator sighs. ‘Do any of the other candidates wish to answer?’
As the only conscious candidate left to answer, Applejack hastily shakes her head.
‘Excuse me,’ a voice comes from behind Meadow.
The moderator turns to a plum earth pony with a mulberry mane.
‘I think we should at least get Applejack’s response on business taxes, given her supporters,’ Berry Punch says.
Berry looks around at the other ponies. Most nod and murmur in agreement.
Applejack groans. ‘Fine.’ She sighs. ‘T’ be honest, Ah ain’t that upset ‘bout businesses payin’ their due, but Ah wouldn’ mind easin’ up on them a bit. Shoot. Ah know it would help out the farm a bit. Not t’ mention all the regulations and paperwork t’ run mah stall.’
Berry nods. Carrot Top leans over and the two mares start talking. Meadow looks for another questioner and is waved down by a blue unicorn with a blue and blue-grey mane.
‘Rainbow Dash, it is good seeing a pegasus showing the world that you are not all like Skybound,’ Colgate says.
The pegasi in the audience cheer while Rainbow Dash takes a bow.
Colgate laughs a bit at the reaction. ‘Anyway, I am a little confused by some of your policies. Can you please clarify your stance on any of them?’
‘Is there one in particular you would like to hear?’ Meadow asks.
‘Um... How about her thoughts on budgeting?’
Rainbow Dash grimaces as she tries to think of a new dodge. Twilight laughs as she waits for her friend to hang herself. Fluttershy sighs in relief that the campaign will soon be over. The thinking pegasus grins.
‘The budget should be made with plenty of input about what should be considered, and I will make executive decisions about key items. We will pay for what we need and get rid of what we don’t, but we shouldn’t change anything that works.’
‘Uh... thanks?’ Colgate replies.
Rainbow Dash gives a quick, smug laugh. Twilight and Fluttershy sigh. She did not trap herself yet. Twilight tenses as Meadow returns to James. He smiles at Twilight as he takes the microphone again.
‘Want-it Need-it spell.’
Twilight holds back her rage at the stallion. The members of the audience starts murmuring about their experience with the spell. The other ponies on stage cover their laughs at their friend. Before the furious mare can reply, Rei takes the microphone from her father.
‘Hold on! I was promised candy for supporting Pinkie! Where is the candy?’
Bon Bon takes Rei’s question as a cue to get up and find somepony who can divorce her and Lyra.
‘I didn’t promise anypony a candy party,’ Pinkie replies, ‘but I will give you and everypony a huge candy party if I am elected!’
‘Yay! You are the best ever, Pinkie-chan!’
Meadow growls and takes the microphone back. She looks for a new questioner. Twilight growls at James. He smiles and mouths ‘I love you’ before sitting down. He looks over and winks at Pinkie while the next question is being asked.
The mayor’s political advisor pokes his head into his employer’s office. He looks around and finds no sign of the mayor. He sighs and closes the door behind him. On the desk is the most recent edition of the Ponyville Times. Under her desk, the mayor breathes a sigh of relief but refuses to come out of hiding.
At another campaign meeting/tea party, Pinkie is reading the newspaper article about the recent debate. Gummy leaps as he hopelessly tries to catch a ball the Cake twins are passing back and forth. Pinkie sets down the paper.
‘Looks like everything is going just the way we want it to,’ Pinkie beams. ‘Now! Who wants some more tea?’
Fluttershy stares down at the floor of Rainbow Dash’s home. The cyan pegasus is drifting around the room with an evil grin on her face. Pro-Rainbow Dash chanting can be heard coming from the ground below the cloud house.
‘Hear that! They love me!’ Rainbow Dash laughs.
‘That is because they didn’t understand you were misleading them,’ Fluttershy sighs.
‘Well, I wasn’t not misleading them. Besides, we got the most politically charged groups backing us now! I am a shoo-in.’
‘They are only backing you because you are promising both sides’ platforms. If they were really paying attention, it would be a war zone down there.’
‘It is not my fault they were mislead. I was only saying things they wanted to hear in a manner that would earn their support.’
Fluttershy glares at her friend. ‘Please don’t try those tactics on me. New Fluttershy doesn’t appreciate it.’
‘Sorry.’ Rainbow Dash grimaces. ‘Hey! We should start thinking deputy mayors. I’m thinking Raindrops. She always has my back with the weather patrol. I think she’d be good helping me as mayor.’
‘But...’
‘Oh, did you want it? It is a really public position. I didn’t think you could handle the pressure.’
‘It is not that...’ Fluttershy moans. She gives her friend a weak smile. ‘Let’s get you prepped for another speech. I am sure your supporters would like it.’
‘That’s the spirit! First Rainbow Dash for mayor! Then Rainbow Dash for parliament!’
‘You’d fit right in with the way you play politics,’ the frustrated pegasus grumbles.
‘Thanks for the support!’
Rainbow Dash slaps her friend on the back, causing the other pegasus to growl.
Filthy Rich has convinced Applejack to break out the celebratory cider. Her poll numbers shot up after the debate, and she is now in a three-way race against Twilight and Rainbow Dash. While the business pony feels like celebrating, the farm pony continues to question her campaign.
‘Great job! I knew you would soar after the debate!’ Filthy Rich congratulates. ‘The voters loved your honesty, even if you were off message a bit.’
‘Right...’ Applejack groans. ‘That’s good, right?’
‘It is fantastic! Miss Dash’s base is shaky at best. One good push and it will topple into our camp. Then with her out, Miss Sparkle will fall just as easily.’
‘Ah don’ know... Twilight had some good ideas. Some Ah could really get behind.’
Mr Rich laughs and shakes his head. ‘Applejack, we can’t support them just yet. If they are good enough, we’ll consider them after we have won.’
‘Ah guess... She did have some kind things t’ say ‘bout me last night, though...’
There is a knock on the door. The two ponies look up to see Carrot Top standing outside.
‘Hey Carrot Top!’ Applejack greets. ‘What can Ah do ya fer?’
The gardener enters the room. ‘Um, well, I was talking with some of the other gardeners, growers and farmers after the debate. We want to support your campaign, but, uh, can we talk in private?’
Filthy Rich gets up. ‘Go right ahead. We were done for the day.’ The business pony trots out of the room. ‘I’ll bring by a list of potential staff members tomorrow.’
Applejack groans and nods her head. Once the stallion is gone, Carrot Top sits across from the upset pony.
‘Is everything okay?’ the gardener asks.
‘Jus’ peachy!’ Applejack tries her best fake grin. Before her guest can call her out, she asks, ‘Ya wanted t’ talk with me privately?’
Carrot Top sighs. ‘Yes. It has to do with why you are “peachy” too. The other growers and I are concerned about what Filthy Rich and his business friends are doing to you. Those that don’t see you in the market every day might not notice, but we can see the stress he is putting on you.’
‘Yer right,’ Applejack moans. ‘Ah was jus’ so excited t’ get support from his group that Ah didn’ really think t’ hard about the consequences.’
‘It is okay.’ Carrot Top puts a hoof on her friend’s shoulder. ‘You should come out to the market. Some real work might put your mind at ease.’
‘Ya got a point...’
‘Also, Colton suggested that we hold a party of some sort at his vineyard to celebrate our new candidate.’
‘Ah guess that sound fun.’ The farmer narrows her gaze. ‘There won’t be much drinkin’, will there?’
Carrot Top laughs. ‘Only if you want it.’
The two earth ponies stand from the table. They shake hooves before splitting up.
Twilight paces back and forth in her room. She tramples the shredded remains of a newspaper under hoof. She stops and glares at the offending headline on the Ponyville Times’ webpage. She snorts and uses her magic to close her laptop.
‘Calm down, darling. I don’t see what you are so upset about. You slaughtered them last night.’
Twilight snaps her attention to a perfectly calm Rarity. The unicorn sips some tea from the breakfast Spike set out for them. Twilight stomps over to the table and sits down. She growls at the waffles on her plate.
‘Not to mention you broke my wallet. I never had a single pony I coached make so much in one night.’
‘I don’t care about the money. Did you see the numbers?’
‘We expected this. Most of the voters were undecided and waiting for your coltfriend’s group to make their announcement. They got a taste of the others, but they still liked your taste more.’ Rarity giggles. ‘I guess they now know why James likes you.’
‘Rarity!’ Twilight snaps.
The unicorn giggles into her tea.
The red-faced Twilight turns away from her friend. ‘James and I aren’t like that... We agreed to take it slow...’ she mumbles.
‘Since we brought him up, any word about when we’ll be getting their support?’
Twilight gives a low growl. ‘After the way he attacked me last night...’
‘He was only testing you, darling.’ I hope. ‘He was making sure you were ready for the tough questions.’
‘He brought up the princesses, Smarty Pants and my fight with Pinkie. How can there be tougher questions?’
‘Well, you do know time travel magic. Also, the brat helped you completely dodge the mind control topic. Not to mention that you personally are the sworn enemy of the Queen of the Changelings.’ Rarity takes another sip of her tea. She can see the stress and rage building in her friend. She sighs and sets down her drink. ‘Do you wish to discuss potential running mates?’
Twilight groans. She takes a bite of her waffles while she thinks. ‘Honestly, I would like the mayor or Applejack. Having somepony with some political experience or my most honest friend would be a great help if I needed advice on a subject.’
Rarity gapes. ‘I am not your most honest friend?! I feel insulted.’
‘Since you brought up money earlier, shall we talk about your overdue book fines?’
‘I, uh, still need those for reference.’
Rarity takes another sip of her tea. She uses the levitation spell on her cup to cover up her texting. Twilight sighs and goes back to her breakfast.
A hard day of work is just what Applejack needed. She is feeling a lot more relaxed not having to think about her campaign. She serves a customer a large bag of apples.
‘That’ll be three bits,’ Applejack says with a smile.
The customer pays the price. ‘Thank you. Wait. You’re that one candidate for mayor, aren’t you?’
‘Heh, heh. Yeah. That’s me.’
‘I didn’t expect any of you would be out working like the rest of us.’
‘Well, Ah needed a break from all of the hullabaloo. ‘Sides, somepony has t’ make some sells if we’re gonna feed the family.’
‘It is good to hear you are a real pony like the rest of us, not some slick business pony only obsessed with profit like the media makes you out to be. You have my support.’
The customer nods to Applejack and trots away.
Applejack sighs. ‘Right... Business pony.’
Further down the street, Pinkie trots past with a sign on her back. It reads: ‘Cake is a lie. Pie isn’t’. She trots down the street, oblivious to the stares she is getting. She soon trots past where Twilight is helping the local get-out-the-vote campaign. She gives a flyer to a passing pony.
‘Don’t forget to vote!’ Twilight cheers.
‘Ugh. Trying to win over more voters,’ the pony groans.
‘Actually, I just want you to get out and vote,’ the alicorn corrects. ‘I don’t really mind if you vote for another candidate, just as long as you participate.’
The pony eyes the smiling unicorn. ‘Consider yourself a bit of a community organizer, do we?’
Twilight is a little surprised as the other pony trots away. Down the street, Stormy trots towards the library with a pack full of books. He carefully avoids the princess as per his employer’s instructions. While looking for more potential voters, Derpy flies down and looks at Twilight’s efforts.
‘You’re not being real subtle about what you’re doing,’ the pegasus comments.
‘What? I am just trying to get more ponies to vote. It is very important to the...’
‘I would have printed your fliers on lavender paper or found some way to work your cutie mark into the graphic. You know, keep it subliminal.’
‘I’m not trying to campaign.’
‘Don’t worry!’ Derpy calls as she flies away. ‘Sparkler and I both think you’re the best. Dinky too, but she’s too young to vote yet.’
Derpy continues on her mail route, which takes her past The Power Block. Inside the building, James and Fluttershy are talking in his office. The stallion has his eyes closed as thinks.
‘Why are you telling me this?’ James asks.
‘Well, I would go to one of the others, but I don’t really trust Applejack’s advisors, the mayor is in hiding, Rainbow Dash is watching Twilight closer than normal, and Pinkie...’
‘She’s currently making the space core look sane.’
‘Right.’
James sighs. ‘I’ll find a way to pass this information on to the right ponies.’
‘Um... James...’
‘Yes, Fluttershy?’
‘Well, um, would you...’
‘Boss!’ Lucas calls from the counter. ‘Your tutoring appointment is here.’
Fluttershy sighs and gets up. ‘Maybe later...’
The pegasus trots out of the office with her head down while Apple Bloom prances in.
Days pass and the second mayoral debate rolls around. With still no decision from the Nerd Caucus, the candidates are on edge. The tightening race between the three top candidates is not making matters any easier. To take her mind off the debate, Rainbow Dash is doing wing push-ups backstage. Fluttershy watches her friend.
‘Nothing like a good workout to clear the mind, right, Fluttershy?’
‘I prefer a good book, but I’ve been getting plenty of fiction from you lately.’
Rainbow Dash slip from her stance and crashes to the floor. ‘Whoa! What is with the attitude?’
‘I am really upset with how your campaign has been going. I think you are playing with dangerous elements, courting two opposing sides like this.’
‘Don’t worry. It will be all over soon.’
Fluttershy marches away. ‘After tonight, I am sure it will all be over.’
‘Thanks for the support!’
Fluttershy shudders and screams.
…
Filthy Rich paces backstage as he waits for his candidate to arrive. He checks his watch and growls. The door to the backstage opens, and Applejack tumbles in, supported by Carrot Top.
‘AH’M HERE!’ Applejack calls. ‘Sorry Ah’m a mite late. Colton’s mixer went a little too well.’
‘Is she drunk?!’ Flithy Rich exclaims.
‘Ah ain’t drunk! Them’s fightin’ words!’
Applejack holds up her front hooves to box the stallion and immediately faceplants. Carrot Top helps her friend up.
‘I’m sorry, Mr Rich,’ Carrot Top apologizes. ‘She got going a little too much and even insisted on breaking out the stronger stuff. You might have to tell the moderator she can’t make it.’
‘Can’ make it, nothin’!’ the drunken pony shouts. ‘Ah got somethin’ important t’ say and Ah mean t’ say it!’
The other mare sighs and looks at the stallion. ‘If you want this campaign to last, you will find her brother before she is called on stage.’
Filthy Rich grimaces and gallops away to find Big Macintosh. Carrot Top breathes a sigh of relief.
‘Y’all didn’ tell him that Big Mac’s back at the vineyard, did ya?’
‘I did not and when Big Macintosh finds out you’re not in the little filly’s room...’
Applejack puts a hoof over Carrot Top’s mouth. ‘Carrot? Can y’all hold mah hair fer a moment?’
…
Twilight paces around her backstage area. She has dozens of notecards floating in front of her as she tries to memorize all of the different policy questions she might be asked as well as any potential torpedoes James might have ready. Off to the side, Rarity works on some sewing.
‘Twilight, I think it is time for me to tell you something I tell all of my models...’ Rarity sighs.
‘Yes, yes. Ten bits per smackdown. You told me last time.’
‘No, not that. It is another important stress relief technique.’
Twilight stops her pacing. ‘I’ll take anything.’
‘Good.’ Rarity levitates a few notebooks from her pack. ‘Here are some of my sketchbooks. Feel free to take one into the washroom for, uh, stress relief purposes. Just remember to clean up afterwards. Try not to get my books messy. Stormy hasn’t scanned them all yet.’
The younger pony turns beet red. ‘Are you telling me I should..?’
‘It is proven to be a stress relief. The release of endorphins calms the mind and serves as a natural muscle relaxant.’
Twilight stares at her friend in disbelief.
Rarity calmly flips through her books. ‘Ah! Here.’ She levitates a book to Twilight. ‘This one has some speculative theory on your coltfriend. You might enjoy it.’
Twilight stares at the book for several seconds. She looks up at her friend, who is ‘reading’ one of the others. She hesitantly opens the book for a peek. Her face goes even redder and she teleports away. The sound of the nearby washroom being locked is heard. Rarity calmly turns the page and keeps ‘reading’.
After hearing about the excitement of the last debate, the audience is standing room only. On the left side of the hall, the local Occupy movement has made camp. As far from them as possible on the right, the local Tea Party, lead by Scootaloo’s father, have a protest of their own. Various groups of support for the other candidates station themselves around the town hall. Standing in the back, Lyra is waving a sign that reads ‘High Five for Pinkie Pie’. At the center of the audience, the Nerd Caucus is conferring about making their final decision soon after the debate. A still-upset Fluttershy sits with James. Rachael Meadow steps out on stage and signals for calm. The audience settles down.
‘Thank you, everypony, for coming out tonight for our second debate. We have a rather full house tonight, and I am sure we all have questions for the candidates. If we can all behave in a responsible manner, I am sure we will have a spirited time. Now, let’s meet the candidates.’
The audience stomp in approval as the candidates trot on stage. They each go to their podiums, though Pinkie has to help Applejack after she goes to the wrong podium.
‘Each of the candidates have prepared a short statement. Miss Dash, will you lead us off?’
‘Thank you, Miss Meadow,’ Rainbow Dash replies. She clears her throat and opens her mouth to talk.
‘Rainbow, Ahmma let y’all finish, but Ah have somethin’ important to say,’ Applejack interrupts. She smiles at the audience. ‘Howdy, y’all! Ah’m Applejack. Now, Ah’ve been runnin’ in this here race fer a bit now, and Ah’m sure y’all have heard ‘bout me and mah supporters positions on thin’s. Ah jus’ wanna say that after listenin’ t’ mah friends the other night, Ah like the sound o’ what they have t’ say, especially mah friend Twilight.’ She waves. ‘Hi, Twilight! Ah got int’ this mess as a way o’ competin’ ‘gainst mah friend Rainbow, mostly ‘cause Ah knew she’d be spoutin’ all sorts o’ hooey like she is now. After a lot o’ thought and talkin’ with mah real supporters - the farmers not the business types - Ah decided t’ drop out o’ this here race. Ah ain’t doin’ nopony no good bein’ up here. Now, can somepony hold mah hair fer a moment? Ah need t’ step out fer a bit.’
Applejack quickly gallops offstage. Everypony stares in shock. A number of well-dressed ponies quickly make their way out of the building. Meadow pauses before clearing her throat to gain everypony’s attention.
‘Well, uh, that was unexpected. Let’s get back to scheduled events. Miss Dash?’
‘Right.’ Rainbow Dash nods. ‘Celestia bless Ponyville!’ The crowd cheers. ‘Now, I’m no egghead like Twilight, but I do know a thing or two about how the world works. We need to have lower taxes,’ -- the right side of the hall cheers -- ‘but we need make higher earners pay their share,’ -- the left side of the hall cheers. ‘We need to hold business responsible for their actions,’ -- the left side of the hall cheers -- ‘as well as easing up on regulations,’ -- the right side of the hall cheers. ‘We need to crack down on immigration while making citizenship easier to attain. We will make sure what needs to be funded gets funded while cutting programs. Rain and shine, we will make the future Rainbow!’
Rainbow feeds off of the cheering coming from both sides of the hall, posing and saluting her supporters. Meadow tries to calm the crowd.
‘That is it!’ Twilight snaps. ‘Are you insane or just stupid?! Rainbow has been saying only contradictory statements this entire campaign! She hasn’t taken a clear stance once! She is manipulating both sides of the debate to her favor! Have you even paid attention just now?’ She turns to the right. ‘Didn’t you hear’ -- she points at the left -- ‘them cheering at all of the things you were silent for just now? I know you are willfully ignorant because of the positions you take on issues, but are you also blind to Rainbow abusing you like that?’ She takes a few deep breaths to try and calm down. ‘And don’t get me started on Pinkie’s insanity! ARG!’
Twilight teleports off stage. The audience stares in shock. Backstage, Rarity sighs.
‘I should have used that trick Allie Way taught me.’
Out front, the crowd starts murmuring. The leader of Occupy looks over at Scootaloo’s father. They nod and turn towards Rainbow Dash.
‘Oh, pony feathers.’
Rainbow dashes away, leaving a nice rainbow-colored trail for the angry mobs to follow. A number of other ponies in the audience get up and leave as well. Pinkie looks around the stage and smiles.
‘I think I am going to check on my friends. Bye!’
Pinkie happily hops off stage, leaving only the mayor. With only one candidate left on stage, the audience starts leaving en masse. James looks over at Marvel, and the two stallions nod. The Nerd Caucus stands and starts leaving as well. James gives Fluttershy a kiss on the cheek before following his friends. Soon, only a hoofful of ponies are left in the hall. Meadow stares out at the empty room.
‘Uh.... Any questions for the mayor?’
Fluttershy looks around. Seeing no opposition, she raises a hoof. ‘The duck family has been growing, and they need a bigger place to stay. Are you willing to fund a project to expand the duck pond by another meter of two?’
The next morning, a press conference is being held at The Chaos Theater. Marvel steps out to the microphones. He is flanked by Twilight and Applejack. Applejack looks hungover from the previous night. Behind them, James and DC watch the show.
Marvel clears his throat. ‘Thank you for coming out today. As you can assume, our caucus has made a decision on which candidate to support. No, it is not one of these fine ladies beside me, though they helped with the decision. We have decided to combine all of our support behind the current mayor. Of the remaining candidates, we feel she is the best for the job.’
‘Does that mean that Miss Sparkle is dropping from the race?’ a reporter shouts.
‘Keep it down, y’all,’ Applejack mumbles.
Twilight steps up. ‘Yes. After my outburst last night, I felt it would be better to step aside than waste my efforts repairing my image. I will still assist the local efforts to raise voter turnout if they will have me.’
‘Any word on the location of Rainbow Dash?’ another reporter asks.
‘I heard a Sonic Rainboom was spotted over Appleoosa recently,’ Marvel jokes.
The reporters laugh at the joke. Marvel scans the reporters for another question.
The next Tuesday. James has a number of his friends over to watch the election. He shares the couch with Twilight, Fluttershy and Pinkie. Tim and Kaeko sit on chairs around the room. Rainbow Dash watches the television from her hiding spot in James’ TARDIS. The mayor is currently winning a landslide against Pinkie.
‘I could have had it...’ Twilight grumbles.
‘And if you won, you would have snapped at your staff your first week instead of at your friends during the debate,’ James comments.
‘That’s not true.’
‘You would have tried organizing everything you could. Nothing would get done,’ Pinkie says.
‘But...’
‘Not to mention your scheduling would have kept everypony busy at all hours of the night, making them tired and useless,’ Fluttershy adds.
‘Well...’
‘Worst, we wouldn’t have any more date nights,’ James finishes.
Pinkie and Fluttershy snap to attention then moan at their lost chance.
‘How am I doing?’ Rainbow Dash calls.
‘You’re losing to Skybound,’ Kaeko replies.
‘You didn’t remove your name from the ballot?’ Fluttershy gapes.
‘I thought I still had a chance.’
Everypony facehoofs.
‘Do you think I would have won?’ Twilight asks.
‘You would have slaughtered. That’s why we had to stop you,’ James says.
‘What?!’
‘I didn’t want you to be stressed out from the job,’ Pinkie says, ‘so I ran too so you would have somepony to get frustrated with and eventually yell at. It was only luck that AJ and Dashie ran, too.’
‘Pinkie came to me with her plan, and I took it to our group,’ James continues.
‘We all agreed that it was best for Ponyville if you did not run,’ Tim adds. ‘Beside, the mayor was willing to adopt a lot of your proposals. Some good came in the end.’
‘Was there a plan to stop me?’ Rainbow Dash asks.
‘Yeah. It was called “just let her talk”,’ Fluttershy growls.
‘I asked the heads of both groups to rally at the second debate,’ James says. ‘If Twilight didn’t do the job herself, they would have seen you were full of crap and playing them both.’
‘Heh, heh. I did a good job of that, didn’t I?’
The six other ponies glare at the hiding pegasus. She ducks further into the time machine.
‘You know...’ Twilight muses. ‘We could still use a more effective leader than the mayor, and I know just the pony who would enact fair policies and not crack under pressure.’
‘No,’ James replies.
‘Why not? You could probably be elected MP.’
‘Right. Good King James versus Princess Celestia. That is something we would all like to see.’
‘I’d vote for you,’ Tim says.
‘I as well,’ Kaeko agrees.
‘Our minds combined, we’d be unstoppable,’ Twilight giggles.
‘Mr James Hayate Wanderer, MP of The Power Block!’ Pinkie cheers.
James groans and turns back to watching the news. Twilight giggles and gives him a kiss on the cheek.
‘Mister Future Prime Minister.’
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"‘There is a three-pixel misalignment with the lower case ‘e’ ‘Uh...’ The nervous pegasus examines the paper. ‘There is a three-pixel misalignment with the lower case ‘e’ on their font face?’"
Congratulations, you just made Fluttershy 20% cuter!
In other news, this chapter is up to your usual standards, by the fact that the story is AWESOME, the spelling and grammar was, as far as I could tell, impeccable and you managed to make political references, while keeping them common enough that even a person from a different country to you (UK) could easily get them. In all I applaud you, have a moustache.
686373
I actually have a big jealousy of parliamentary republics. I really wish the US House could work that way.
The Filthy Rich line:
‘Compromise means getting them to agree to our side of view.’
is actually a nearly exact quote for a GOP candidate for the US Senate. I freaking love this country.
"Cake is a lie. Pie isn’t"
oh god, it's been far too long since I saw one of those
You're not... British? ...
2466881
Unfortunately, no. I'm not even Canadian. On the plus side, I am from Southern California, the best place in the entire USA
2467364 Good, 'cause for a second there I was worried.