Warriors of the Derp
Main Characters: The Doctor (10), Derpy, Bon Bon
Cameos: Lyra, Rei, TWP
Original Write Date: 12/20/2011
Bon Bon is on cruise for a well-deserved vacation. Or she should be. After her wife Lyra revealed her ulterior motive of hunting mythical creatures, Bon Bon was forced to take matters into her own hooves. With Lyra in the care of the ship’s entertainment providers, Bon Bon is looking for one of the recreation facilities for some relaxation. Unfortunately, she is looking in what seems to be a cargo hold.
‘Great. I am lost, and I have no clue how to even get help,’ Bon Bon mumbles to herself.
Bon Bon stops beside a large covered object to look around. She hears what sounds like really horrible singing coming from it. She pulls back the cover to reveal a giant aquarium. It appears to be empty, but Bon Bon takes a closer look. A dark creature passes before her.
‘Shoo be doo, shoo shoo be doo.’
Bon Bon screams and falls backward.
<Insert Doctor Who theme here, preferably Tenth Doctor era. I picked: This />
A large blue police box, The Doctor’s TARDIS, materializes in the hold of the cruise ship. The door opens, and The Doctor backs out while talking.
‘Now Derpy, the cliffs here on Arankis Prime are very dangerous, even for you.’ The Doctor explains. ‘You have to be very careful not to fall or you are done for.’
The Doctor immediately trips over Bon Bon. Derpy flies out of the TARDIS.
‘You okay, Doctor?’ Derpy asks. ‘What happened?’
‘I fell,’ The Doctor grumbles.
Derpy helps The Doctor up. ‘I thought you said we were going to some mountain planet, not the local aquarium.’
The Doctor looks around. ‘Doesn’t look like much of an aquarium besides the one tank. I wonder what it is for.’
He starts peering into the tank to ascertain its function. Derpy drops to the ground and examines Bon Bon.
‘Hey! It is Bon Bon.’ Derpy smiles up at The Doctor. ‘It is Bon Bon, Doctor.’
‘Yes, that is all very good.’
‘That means we are on the cruise she is on.’
The Doctor turns back. ‘Did you say cruise?’
‘Yeah. She and her wife were going on the same cruise as Chief and his friends, only they weren’t going for the extra fun stuff.’ She thinks for a moment. ‘Do you think you can get us into the JoColt show?’
‘I hate cruises. Things always go wrong on a cruise. That should be the motto of every cruise: things always go wrong on a cruise.’
Bon Bon moans and sits up. ‘What happened? Who is there?’
‘Hi!’ Derpy greets. ‘Looks like you fainted for a moment.’
‘Derpy? When did you get here? What are you doing here?’
‘The Doctor and I were out traveling, and we found you! Are you okay? Why did you faint?’
‘I am fine, I guess. I saw a weird creature in that tank, and I screamed, and then...’
‘Well, there is nothing in the tank now.’ The Doctor taps on the glass. ‘It seems to be empty.’
‘What? No! There was... You’re going to laugh at me.’
Derpy turns to her friend. ‘Never! We will believe you.’
A shadow passes in the tank while all of the attention is on Bon Bon.
‘No. It is stupid. Something real foalish.’
‘Stupid and foalish are my middle name,’ The Doctor replies. ‘The “Stupid and Foalish” Do... Stop giggling before you even start.’
The shadow starts getting closer.
‘I...’ Bon Bon shakes her head. She laughs. ‘Lyra will love this. I saw a sea pony.’
Derpy takes a step back. The Doctor looks surprised. The shadow stops just shy of becoming visible.
‘Sea ponies, Doctor...’
‘I heard her.’ The Doctor starts thinking. ‘Are you sure it was a sea pony? It wasn’t just some really ugly fish?’
‘Doctor!’
‘What! I am just checking.’
A tentacle starts creeping over the side of the tank.
‘Sea ponies have feelings too. You just insulted somepony you don’t even know.’
Bon Bon stares in disbelief. ‘You two are talking like sea ponies are real.’
‘Oh right! General public.’ The Doctor gives a misleading grin to Bon Bon. ‘No worries. No such thing as sea ponies. Just really ugly fish.’
‘Doctor!’
‘You were fine when I used that cover last time.’
‘No! Doctor!’ Derpy points at the advancing tentacle.
‘That is definitely not a sea pony or a fish.’
The tentacle wraps around The Doctor and starts lifting him up. Derpy flies to the top of the tank and starts kicking at the tentacle. Bon Bon turns to run, but her path is blocked by a blue box. The Doctor struggles to break free before settling on biting the tentacle. The tentacles drops him and whips upward. It knocks Derpy into the ceiling causing her to activate the fire suppression system in the area.
‘Time to get moving!’
The Doctor pulls Bon Bon with him as he starts running. Derpy flies down to join them.
‘Why are we running?’ Bon Bon asks.
‘The fire system will set off a warning to the crew. I doubt you want to answer questions about an uncovered tank housing a sea monster.’
‘Well, no, but..’
The Doctor stops. ‘Good. Then just go back to enjoying your trip. We’ll take care of everything.’
The stallion pushes open a door leading to stairs. Bon Bon looks back and forth between The Doctor and Derpy as she tries getting her thoughts in order.
‘Trust him!’ Derpy cheers. ‘He’s The Doctor.’
The Doctor has found a good vantage point at the top deck of the ship. He is watching the passengers going about their business. He is lost in thought when Derpy returns.
‘I got the lay of the ship. Nothing seems to be out of the ordinary.’
‘You should really be more careful,’ The Doctor warns. ‘James may not seem it, but he is very observant. As are Miss Sparkle, Miss Pie, and...’
‘Hi!’ Rei chirps as she flies up.
‘Her.’
‘Hi, Rei,’ Derpy greets.
‘Whatcha doing?’ Rei asks.
‘Actually, we are trying to avoid you and your father if at all possible.’
‘Why does everypony think he is my father! I have wings!’
‘Shh!’ The Doctor hisses. ‘Keep it down. I am sorry. Would you mind keeping our presence a secret from James for us?’
Rei crosses her forelegs. ‘Hmpf! What is in it for me?’
‘Well, you know how James has all of those secrets he keeps from everypony else? This will be one we can keep from him.’
Rei eyes go wide with excitement. She lets out a giddy squeal. ‘Deal!’
‘Good. Now just be quiet about it, and we’ll be in touch if we need help.’
‘I have a secret!’ Rei squeals as she flies away and around the ship.
The Doctor sighs. ‘No matter which universe you are in, she is his daughter for sure.’
‘She is?’ Derpy asks.
‘Never mind.’ The Doctor looks over the deck again. ‘Who is that grey pony following James around? Could she be trouble?’
Derpy looks over the rail too. ‘Her? She is Inkie Pie. Pinkie’s youngest sister.’
‘Great. Another Pie. That only makes it that much more difficult to remain hidden.’
‘So what is the plan?’
‘I am going to try finding a cargo and passenger manifest. Maybe find out what is claimed to be in the tank and who to ask about it.’
‘And me?’
‘Just keep a low profile and find out what you can. We’ll meet back here in a few hours.’
‘And if one of us gets in trouble?’
‘Derpy, how likely is that to happen?’ The Doctor smiles before he disappears into the crowds.
Lyra tunes her lyre after the previous night’s performance. The show has distracted her from her true mission for this cruise, but she has some free time to begin her hunt again.
‘Excuse me! Miss Heartstrings!’
Lyra looks to see a light grey earth pony trotting up. She is dressed in a plain brown suit that covers her body so her cutie mark is unseen, but she has big sunglasses and long blonde bangs covering her eyes. She smiles a somewhat crazy smile when she gets to Lyra.
‘Uh... may I help you?’
‘I am a big follower of yours. Your work on exposing the human conspiracy to take over the government is brilliant.’
‘Right. Thank you. The trick is knowing that it may not be humans... but it is definitely humans.’
‘Indeed.’
Lyra examines the odd mare. ‘And you are?’
‘I am Dotty Nutter, a fellow expert in the unexplained and an astronaut scientist like yourself.’
Lyra thinks. ‘Huh. I thought I was the only one.’
‘There are more of us, but we have to keep it secret or else they will get us.’
Lyra growls. ‘They are always causing trouble. I hear they are the ones who killed Kenny.’
‘Those bastards!’ The pony punches one hoof into the other. ‘Listen, I have something really important to ask you. Otherwise, I would not have risked bringing two of our greatest minds together.’
‘Anything to help the spread of truth.’
‘I need you to tell me everything you know about sea ponies.’
The Doctor is in a computer room pounding at a keyboard. A nearby printer is printing out pages of information. The door to the room starts opening. The Doctor picks up the stack of documents with his mouth and shoves it into his overcoat right as a confused-looking midshipman steps in.
‘What’s going on in here?’
The Doctor comes out of his overcoat with his psychic paper at the ready. ‘Inspector John Smith of the Equestrian Fruit Inspectors Bureau. It is about time somepony showed up.’
‘Fruit inspector? What is going on here?’
‘This is a surprise, random inspection.’ The midshipman tries to react. ‘Did you know that you are required to leave port with large stocks of bananas and oranges just in case one of the princesses were on board?’
‘I did not know that.’
‘Well, it is true and definitely not a lie. See, the princesses have certain dietary preferences and by not stocking those items, you are risking massive fines or jail time if they were to find out.’
‘But the princesses are not on the ship, sir.’
The Doctor grabs the midshipman. ‘Think man! Would the princesses really travel in such a conspicuous manner if they were to go on holiday?’ The sailor tries to respond. ‘Of course they wouldn’t! You’re a bright pony. Much brighter than me.’
‘Um, why thank you, sir.’
‘Now, I want you to check your records and make sure you have plenty of bananas and oranges or else...’
The midshipman is scared. ‘Or else what?’
‘Well, I believe Princess Luna can answer that better than I.’
The midshipman’s eyes go wide. ‘I’ll get right on making sure we are fully stocked, sir!’
‘Brilliant! Good man!’ The Doctor exits out of the room and turns left. He trots back seconds later. ‘I’ll be checking on you.’ The Doctor looks around and continues his exit, heading right this time.
Bon Bon is at lunch and waiting for Lyra to arrive. The past twenty-four hours have been pretty stressful. First, Lyra embarrassed her in public again, then embarrassed her with the cruise performers and their friends Octavia and Vinyl. Then there was that whole business with Derpy and that sea pony. Not to mention dealing with Octavia’s rage when her booze ran out. And just a few minutes ago, she had a run-in with James and that annoying showmare he brought to the holiday dinner with the Cakes last month. Now, Bon Bon just needs a nice calming lunch with her wife to relax a bit. Please let Lyra be normal for once!
Lyra steps into the restaurant. She smiles brightly when she sees her wife and trots over. The couple kiss before Lyra takes her seat. Lyra (un)naturally sits in her (un)usual manner.
‘You’ll never believe the day I’ve been having,’ Bon Bon sighs.
‘Me too! I have some great news.’
‘Oh? What is it?’
Lyra leans back and puts a foreleg over the back of the chair. ‘A fellow hunter is going to help me capture a sea pony.’
Bon Bon falls forward until her head slams into the table. She lets out a loud moan, not caring about all of the stares she is getting.
‘Are you okay, Bon Bon?’
‘Yeah. It is just... nothing. Forget it.’ I hate sea ponies so much.
Lyra frowns. ‘I know that you don’t like my hobbies, but I thought you would like that news.’
‘And why is that, dear?’
‘Because it means I don’t have to sneak around behind your back and let somepony else do the work for me.’
‘Right. I didn’t see the silver lining...’
Lyra pets the back of Bon Bon’s hoof. ‘And I don’t have to worry about practice in a couple days when we are in port next...’
Bon Bon looks up. ‘Go on.’
‘Well, I was thinking we can find a private beach somewhere...’ Bon Bon smiles. ‘I was also thinking of finding a bottle of chocolate syrup and some whip cream and making a Bon Bon sundae when we got there.’ Bon Bon gives a slightly embarrassed giggle. ‘I bet I can make her squeal like on our honeymoon.’
Bon Bon blushes as she remembers all of the fun they had. ‘I know somepony who is going to get special treatment for her horn soon...’
Lyra blushes. A grey coated and maned waitress comes up to the table. A supervisor is glaring at the waitress.
‘Are you ready to order?’
‘Oh! I totally forgot.’ Lyra starts scanning the menu for something good.
‘While you are looking,’ the waitress says, ‘I was asked to give you this.’
The waitress slides a note to Bon Bon. She opens it and reads it. ‘When the time comes, remember: Plasma Breaker. ‘ Bon Bon looks at the waitress who shrugs. She looks around and spots a black tail leaving the room.
Lyra looks up from the menu. ‘Do you have any finger foods?’
The Doctor and Derpy watch the outside of a suite. The door is guarded by two very large earth ponies. The snoops are pressed around a corner as not to be seen.
‘Drat. This will be tougher than I imagined,’ The Doctor muses. ‘We need a plan to get in there and talk with the pony in that suite. He is the key to this whole mystery.’
‘Why don’t we just go up and ask if we can come in?’
The Doctor looks at the security. ‘I’d like to waste my next regeneration on something less painful.’ He sits down to think. ‘No. This needs cunning and guile.’
Derpy thinks for a second and trots away. The Doctor does not seem to notice.
‘If I had a cane, I could pretend to be an older gentlecolt and then defeat them while they think I am helpless.’
Derpy trots up to the door with a package on her head. After a few words, the security lets her in.
‘No. Too risky and violent. Maybe if I had an oddly-shaped umbrella I could distract them somehow.’ He thinks for a moment. ‘No. I’d still have to knock them cold somehow. Maybe if I had a cricket ball... Nah. If I had a satsuma...’ He thinks more. ‘What am I trying to do? Feed them. Maybe if I had a pony-shaped time machine piloted by really tiny ponies...’ He laughs. ‘That would never happen. If I go up to them and shout “go to your room!” they might... beat me to a pulp.’ He peeks around the corner again. ‘Maybe I can reverse the polarity of the neutron flow of the... That doesn’t even make sense.’
The Doctor starts thinking really hard about the problem. Derpy exits the room, salutes the guards and rejoins her friend. She is carrying a sheet of paper in her mouth. She sits next to The Doctor.
‘How’s it going?’ Derpy asks.
‘I think I have a plan, but I need a tin dog, James’ scarf and a bag of jelly foals.’
‘Good luck.’
The Doctor looks up. ‘What have you got there?’
Derpy gives The Doctor the paper. ‘A present for you.’
The Doctor scans the paper. ‘This is every bit of information I wanted to find out. How did you get it?’
‘Uh, duh. There is mail service on this cruise, and I am a professional mailmare after all.’
‘Derpy! You’re brilliant!’ The Doctor gives Derpy a friendly kiss on the cheek.
Derpy blushes. ‘Heh, heh. I know.’
‘Come along. We’ll analyze this back at the TARDIS and plan our next step from there.’
The two ponies start trotting down the hall.
‘I am sure you had a good plan too,’ Derpy says.
‘Are you kidding? It was the best!’
Bon Bon is humming a song to herself as she gets ready for her shore leave with Lyra. Despite Lyra wanting to spend mostly ‘fun’ times together, Bon Bon wants to do some sightseeing and souvenir hunting too. She picks out her best sunhat and goes to the door to meet Lyra. Unfortunately, on the other side of the door is Derpy and The Doctor.
‘Perfect timing!’ The Doctor states as he pulls Bon Bon out of the room.
‘What is going on! Help!’ Bon Bon shouts as she is forced down the hall.
‘Help is exactly what we need you for,’ The Doctor replies.
‘Sorry about this,’ Derpy adds. ‘Right, Doctor.’
‘Yes. Very sorry. The sorriest.’
The group rounds a corner and plows right into another passenger.
‘Get out of my way! There is scandal ahoof, and The Great and Powerful Trixie must be witness!’
Trixie pushes past and runs down the hall. The Doctor picks himself up and dusts himself off.
‘Hmpf! That was rude. Come along.’
Bon Bon screams again as she is forced along. The Doctor leads them down to the hold. He navigates the cargo to find his TARDIS again. The large aquarium is missing. Bon Bon tries to say something before she is unceremoniously pushed into the TARDIS. The ship takes off as Bon Bon tries getting her bearings.
‘What is going on here? Where am I?’
‘Miss Bon Bon, we need your help,’ The Doctor states from the TARDIS console.
‘With what? I am just a normal earth pony. I don’t have magic or wings. I am definitely not suited for traveling the universe or whatever.’
‘How did you know about that?’
‘Who do you think got James to get Lyra to back off of you?’
‘Right. Well, I guess you want some explanation of what is going on.’
‘You think!’
‘Bon Bon, please calm down,’ Derpy says as she goes to her friend.
‘I’m trying, Derpy, but I am supposed to be on a date with Lyra right now.’
‘You can have more dates later,’ The Doctor quips.
‘No. We were going to date,’ Bon Bon emphasizes.
‘What does that mean?’ The Doctor asks.
Bon Bon growls and turns away. Derpy whispers to The Doctor.
The Doctor finally gets it. ‘Oh... Dancing.’
Bon Bon growls again.
‘It is okay,’ Derpy comforts her friend. ‘The Doctor will make up for it.’ She turns to glare at The Doctor. ‘Right?’
‘Definitely. All of the dates. Plenty of dancing.’ The Doctor rolls his eyes. ‘Can we get on with it now?’
Bon Bon looks from her friend to The Doctor, sighs and nods her head. ‘Fine. How can I help you fight the sea ponies or whatever?’
‘We’re not fighting them. We’re saving them.’
‘What?’
‘Yes, they are being threatened by the multimillionaire shipping magnate Sea Legs Macguffin.’
‘Okay. I quit. How do I get off?’
‘What now?’
‘That cannot be a pony’s name. It is just so...’ Derpy carries some papers over to Bon Bon. ‘... Fine. Continue.’
‘Anyway,’ The Doctor continues, ‘He has been cutting corners on the shipping lanes and going into sea pony territory despite Celestia’s explicit warnings not to do so.’
‘Wait. Celestia knows about sea ponies?’
‘There are a lot of things Celestia knows about that most ponies do not,’ Derpy states.
‘Right. The sea ponies tried fighting back, but Sea Legs somehow acquired a magically-enhanced kraken. It literally grows as it feeds on sea ponies. That is why there was no sea pony in the tank when we arrived.’
‘That is horrible!’ Bon Bon gasps. ‘I still don’t see how I can help.’
‘Your encounter the other day couldn’t have just been an accident. There must have been a reason.’
‘I got lost while heading to my room. I did nothing special.’
The Doctor frowns. ‘There is a small sea pony settlement near where the cruise ship is docked. It is probably gone by now. We are heading to an outpost Celestia maintains for meetings with the sea ponies. Hopefully, we can muster a force to defeat the kraken.’
Bon Bon frowns and looks down. ‘I am sorry. I am so sorry.’
That evening, Bon Bon is sitting on the docks at the outpost staring out to the sea. She lets out deep moan as she thinks about being away from her wife for the night. She looks back at the outpost. Inside, The Doctor is rallying the Equestrian army troops stationed there since help from the mainland will not arrive in time. Bon Bon sighs again and kicks a small rock into the sea. A second later, the rock lands back on the dock. Bon Bon kicks it again, and it is returned once more. Bon Bon leans down to the water. A face appears below the surface and stares up at her. She screams and falls backward. More and more faces appear then emerge from the water. Bon Bon looks around in fear at the dozen or so sea ponies staring at her.
‘D-d-d-DOCTOR!’
The Doctor appears at the doorway to the outpost then rushes out after seeing the situation. Derpy and some of the guards follow. The sea ponies back away at the show of force.
The Doctor turns back. ‘Hold on. Let me handle this.’
Derpy flies over to a sea pony. ‘Hi! I am Derpy! Nice to meet you.’
Derpy extends a hoof towards the water. The sea pony disappears beneath the water. Derpy frowns and rejoins The Doctor. The Doctor is as close to the water as he dares.
‘We come in peace. We just want to talk to one of your leaders. You are in danger.’
The sea ponies back away from The Doctor.
‘Blast. We need to find a way to ask them for help.’
‘What about one of their songs, Doctor?’ Derpy asks. ‘They had a song for just about everything when we encountered them last.’
‘Yes, well, while the words were all the same, there was something about the tone and melody that conveyed the meaning... Blast! I wish I could play the recorder or something.’
‘Shoo be doo, shoo shoo be doo.’
The sea ponies present draw closer. The Doctor and Derpy look over at Bon Bon.
‘Do that again.’
‘Huh?’
‘That song. When you encountered the sea pony, it must have been trying to ask for help. It must have sung that song to ask you for help. Sing it again. Exactly the same way.’
Bon Bon looks from The Doctor to Derpy to the sea ponies. They all seem to be expecting something from her.
Bon Bon clears her throat. ‘Shoo be doo, shoo shoo be doo.’
More sea ponies appear around the docks. Bon Bon keeps singing the song and more sea ponies keep coming. Suddenly, a large sea pony wearing an ornate helmet breaches the water and then swims up to the docks.
‘We have heard your calls for help. We are honor bound to aid in anyway we can,’ The sea pony says to the landed ponies.
‘Excellent, because we are in a lot of trouble,’ The Doctor replies.
The battle against the magical kraken is going poorly. Even though it turned on its so-called master and ate Sea Legs, causing his soldiers to turn on the creature, the combined forces of the sea ponies, Equestrian armed forces, and Sea Legs’ goons are getting wiped out. In the outpost, Bon Bon is hiding behind the TARDIS. Derpy is hiding with her.
‘Can’t we just escape yet!’ Bon Bon cries.
‘Don’t worry. The Doctor will find a way to save the day. He always has a brilliant plan or two.’
The Doctor pops out of the TARDIS. ‘Okay. Fresh out of ideas unless you can find me a portal to The Void or a paradox machine in the next ten minutes.’
Bon Bon screams in frustration. ‘Is your whole race daft! You don’t have a giant alien laser or the Hand of Omega or a plasma buster.’
‘None of that makes sense,’ The Doctor replies.
‘Wait. What was the last one?’ Derpy says.
‘Uh... It was just something I heard somewhere. Why?’
‘Come with me!’
Derpy lifts Bon Bon up and starts flying. They head out of the outpost, dodge a pegasi dive bomb team, loop around a crashing Wonderbolt, and land on the roof of the outpost.
‘Say that again.’ Derpy says. ‘And point at the sky.’
Bon Bon stares at Derpy in disbelief. ‘What are you on about?’
‘Please. Just do it.’
Bon Bon meekly raises a hoof. ‘Plasma buster?’
‘Louder.’
‘Plasma buster!’
‘Louder!’
‘Plasma Buster!’
‘LOUDER!’
Bon Bon takes a deep breath, points her hoof to the sky, and shouts as loud as she can. ‘PLASMA BUSTER!’
There is a glint in the sky, followed by a crack of lightning. A white and blue streak shoots from the sky trailed by a swirling trail of white and blue plasma trails. The streak weaves through all of the kraken’s tentacles, dodging them with ease. It shoots right towards the kraken’s beak, powering through a deafening roar. The streak disappears into the maw of the great beast. Then the plasma hits. it rips the kraken to pieces, sending chucks of it flying in all directions and covering the sea with a thick ambergris. A large chunk of kraken lands on Derpy and Bon Bon. Rei picks herself up from the mess.
‘Best. Cruise. Ever!’
The Doctor pops up from a hatch. He is under a multicolored umbrella.
‘Do clean up before you come inside, will you?’
At the docks at the end of the cruise, Bon Bon sulks beside the TARDIS. Rei stands next to her. The Doctor and Derpy are still in the TARDIS. All four are watching the ship unload.
‘Remember, this was an amazing, once-in-a-lifetime experience,’ The Doctor states. ‘Don’t tell anypony.’
‘Don’t worry.’ Derpy calms. ‘You can tell other ponies. They’ll just think you’re crazy.’ She looks at Rei. ‘Well, in your case somewhat sane.’ She looks at Bon Bon. ‘And it might help your marriage too!’
‘Thanks,’ Bon Bon moans. ‘That is just what I wanted to hear.’
‘Miss Bon Bon...’ The Doctor worries. ‘You seem frazzled. May I suggest a nice holiday?’
Bon Bon turns to The Doctor with all of the fury in the world. She points a hoof into the air.
‘PLAS...’
The TARDIS powers up and starts phasing away. Bon Bon shrieks and turns back to the docks. She and Rei go watch as the passengers start filing off at the various departure points. They eventually see some ponies they know. Rei starts shouting and waving and a group forms up.
‘Where have you been!’ Twilight scolds Rei. ‘We were worried sick about you!’
‘We were?’ The Wandering Physicist asks.
Twilight growls at The Wandering Physicist. Selene steps up.
‘Really missed having you around, kid.’ She takes a big bite of an orange. ‘They had a giant orange buffet. It was the most wonderful thing I had ever seen. It was like it was all for me.’
‘Any bananas?’ Rei asks.
‘Not a one.’
‘Ah! Lucky!’
Pinkie pushes her sister through the crowds and right up to Rei. Pinkie’s hair has returned to its normal, puffy state.
‘Inkie, this is Rei. She is a fun one!’ Pinkie introduces. ‘Rei, this is my sister Inkie! She is a real smarty.’
‘Just don’t shake her hooves,’ The Wandering Physicist warns.
Inkie and Twilight groan in unison.
‘I am sure you will be great friends!’ Pinkie adds before prancing away.
‘Uh... hi.’ Inkie nervously extends a hoof in friendship.
‘Hi!’ Rei grabs Inkie in a big hug.
Inkie goes along with it, until something hits her. ‘You smell like rotten fish.’
Rei sniffs Inkie. ‘You smell like strawberry yogurt!’
Inkie moans and tries to break the hug. The Wandering Physicist goes over to where Bon Bon is moping.
‘I can smell you used the trick I taught you.’
‘How did you... Never mind. You two are masters at causing trouble.’
‘All of us from Ponyville have decided to rent out a train car for the trip back. Are you in?’
‘Sure. Whatever.’
‘Ah! Don’t be like that. There is somepony who wants to see you.’
‘What?’
‘Bon Bon!’ is cried from the ship.
A number of ponies are pushed off of the ship as an unicorn pushes her way to the dock. Lyra pushes her way across the docks and grabs Bon Bon in a tearful hug.
‘I am so sorry!’ Lyra cries. ‘What did I do to make you so mad at me? Is it because I am not covered in squid guts? Want me to cover myself in squid guts for you?’
Bon Bon sighs and hugs her crying wife back. ‘It is okay. I’ll tell you what happened later.’
‘I love you, Bon Bon.’
‘I love you too, Lyra.’
Bon Bon and Lyra comfort each other. With the rest of the Ponyville group, Trixie is saying her goodbyes.
‘The Great and Powerful Trixie bids you a fond farewell. I hope our paths cross again soon.’ Trixie bows to the group. She goes over to The Wandering Physicist. ‘I would use the line now while she is more receptive.’ She whispers. She turns back to the group. ‘Adieu!’
Fireworks cover her leaving. The Wandering Physicist takes a deep breath and goes over to Twilight.
‘Uh, Twilight, I was, uh, wondering...’
‘Hey!’ Pinkie interrupts. ‘You know what we should do when we get home? We should have a party!’
The Wandering Physicist sighs and waits for his next opportunity.
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Wow. These are a lot of comments. Uh... I'm a pretty shy person so...
and 
409267
I got the idea for Occupy Canterlot from a pretty awesome pic I stumbled upon on deviant Art. I'll have to find that again... There aren't that many direct politics in the series. Still trying to keep the series in the vein of the show and be more about finding yourself in the world.
409359
Wow. I don't know where to begin. Thanks for all of the comments. Uh... I just write what I like and try to fit the characters to the story. Since it is a serial-style story, everything can change story to story. It helps keep things fresh
Don't worry about too much 11. I only have two appearances of his written. TWP does act as a bit of a bloggy outlet for my insanities. I try to write his Time Lord-iness off of 1-11 with lots of 2, 4, and 11 styled behaviors.
Again. Just thanks for all of the kind comments. Keep reading. This is only about 2/3 or the series to date. (Now I am really curious to see how everyone will react to that story. I'll go warn Lyra...)
409441 Sorry about the amount, I've been kinda staying up late to read this so I might have gone slightly mad
.But really I've been commenting as I've read and this really is wonderful! Through in a few Monty Python references and you've pretty much covered everything I love!
MOAR! Please please please continue this! And include MOAR Portal (2) references!
411884
Well... I have the next [insert simple math] fourteen(ish) parts written and another dozen or so planned already. I will do my best, but I don't know where they would fit organically
413902
413902 I fist punched when PLASMA BLASTER was shouted. Rei is BY FAR my fav pony.
Yes, even more so than Twilight.
PLASMA BUSTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*ducks*
Oh hey its a du- Oh Crap Rei No AAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*User Oubliette has fainted. Flee Battle Y/N?*
*Y*
*Wakes up in the hospital*
Word of advice kids. Don't try this at home. I am not an expert, and this is what happened.
*gestures to full body cast*