******* On Hiatus through Season 4 *******
Over the years, the denizens of Equestria have all but forgotten the true history of the land they call home, preferring to sate their curiosity with cheery tales and celebrations whilst its true and far more sinister history fades from memory.
Perhaps they are simply uninterested in their history, satisfied with life in the Equestria of today and committed entirely to enjoying the present.
Or perhaps some things are better left unremembered.
Perhaps it is better they don't recall the great evils they are capable of; the bloodshed and turmoil of generations past; the unspeakable acts of brutality of their ancestors; the calamities they wrought which almost doomed Equestria to eternal chaos.
For the history of Equestria is indeed far darker than any pony could possibly imagine; fraught with tales of savage violence and inconceivable atrocities, albeit with several crucial moments of heroism and benevolence through which Equestria has been narrowly spared from utter ruin
Although this story has almost entirely faded from the collective knowledge of Equestrians, there is one book left which offers its true, unmodified tale.
One book which may unlock the secrets of Equestria's history to all of its citizens.
One book which reveals all from the very moment of creation.
One book...
And only one pony knows it exists.
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Alea iacta est
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Any feedback is welcome and appreciated
Hmm... seems interesting
I'm intrigued. Can't wait to see where this goes.
I'm going to divide the story into parts (broken down further into chapters).
I think I'm going to publish the first part (3-4 chapters on the creation of Equestria and the... unfortunate results) in one shot just because it is the shortest part.
Glad to see a couple of people are interested. I'll do my best not to disappoint
Well this is a very promising start!
This is definitely a huge undertaking, and if you manage to pull it off Pen, it will definitely be worth to follow it's development from now on! You can count me in as a reader from now on, and after some more chapters I'll even throw you a few of my thoughts on your story if you want them.
Decided to post chapter 1 by itself, chapter 2 to come shortly.
This will be the last brief chapter for a while.
This chapter is quite light as will be the next one or two, but the story is tagged as dark for a reason. And the first evidence of this is fast approaching (and you thought you knew the story of Hearth's Warming/Unity Day *ominous laughter* )
Any thoughts/feedback on chapter 1?
Hmm... I've never been much for any sort of creation myths, but I think it fits with the universe. Not much presented here, but enough to leave me intrigued and curious as to what happens next. I think it flows nicely with just enough details to keep the pacing. The dark tag looms over me as I read, and I'm wondering just what will go wrong and when. No system is perfect, and surely the flaws in the world (even if it's just the imperfections and disharmonious tendencies in the minds of those living there) will start to show at some point. Whatever happens, I sense it's going to be big and less than peaceful (after all, we only know of a handful of alicorns that are around in the present day). I feel a series of storms brewing just over the horizon.
Anyway, I'm not really a critic or an analyst (just a guy with too much time on his hands), but so far I think it's good and I look forward to reading more.
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I know exactly what you mean in terms of not really being into creation myths. The problem is I needed somewhere to start and didn't want to take the lazy route of "nopony knows how it all started" or the likes.
I've been particularly concerned about getting through this creation/first days of Equestria portion, which plays out as more of a condensed history, in a manner that is believable and holds onto the author's interests until the real "juicy" events can logically commence.
This is also why:
A) The first chapter was brief
B) The second chapter is also as brief as possible
C) I'm releasing chapter 2 and 3 concurrently
Another problem with writing these first couple chapters is the limitations placed by the premise of the story. As the story is supposed to be a book written on Equestrian history by a pony who wasn't alive at the time, the only possible source of information would be the few writings that Celestia protected all these years (as well as her own knowledge which she shared with him). For this reason, going into excessive details on these early days would be illogical as they predate even Celestia herself.
Anyway, thanks for the critique and I'm glad to see you're still interested