Sweet as Cakes

by SweetieTheBot

Epilogue

Pound Cake opened the refrigerator. Inside was a batch of chocolate-chip cookies. He had spent the whole night last night baking them for Autumn’s welcome-home party, she would be checking out of the hospital in less than an hour.

Mr. and Mrs. Cake were in the main part of the shop, decorating.

Pumpkin was levitating a tube of icing over a cake, writing the words ‘Welcome Home Autumn.’ Although, with Pumpkin’s hoofwriting, it looked more like ‘Wobome Humy Outunn’. Pound Cake brought out the tray of cookies, to see Pinkie telling Mr. Cake how to move the balloons around.

“A smidgameter to the rightish, while still staying leftly.” Pinkie said, and Mr. Cake rolled his eyes.

Scootaloo, Applebloom, and Sweetie Belle were guarding the door. “She’s coming!” Sweetie yelled. “Everypony hide!” Applebloom yelled, and everypony dove to their hiding spots.

Everypony, but Pound. Pound grabbed his bouquet of roses, which he had been storing under the first table near the door, and went into the kitchen. After he heard everypony yell ‘Surprise!’, he came out, holding the roses. Autumn still had her wings wrapped up, but her hind leg was healed. Pound stepped up to Autumn, holding the roses.

“Oh, Pound! You got me roses!” Autumn said happily. Pound hoofed them to her.

“Just glad to have my girlfriend back from the hospital.” Pound said, and hugged Autumn.

“I’m glad to be back, too.” Autumn said. They both sat down at the table with the chocolate-chip cookies, and they both shared them.

“Mmmm, these are good.” Autumn said, and Pound blushed.

“I made them myself.” Pound said, and Autumn stuffed another cookie in her mouth. Scootaloo stepped up to the table.

“Hello Scootaloo.” Autumn said, and Pound nodded to greet her.

“I just found out who won the Ponyville Prized Pegasus competition.” Scootaloo said.

“It’s been like a month, you didn’t know already?” Pound asked. Scootaloo cringed. “Well, we all sort of ran out of the stadium when you flew out, Pound.” Scootaloo said. “Anyway, it was that orange pony.” Scootaloo said.

“Scarlet Stripe? She won? Wow, I guess she was right.” Pound said. Autumn put her hoof on Pound’s mouth.

“Let’s not talk about that right now. Let’s enjoy right now.” Autumn said, and she was right. Pound was happy, he had a girlfriend, and life was good.

Some might even say, as sweet as cakes.

THE END

Author's Note:

Yay, happy ending! And it's not a dream!

Comments

[Alpha Scorpii]

Very cute story I liked it.

[SweetieTheBot]

3091495

I'm glad you like it

[xxXFluttershyXx]

It was short, but sweet. Grammer you may need to work on, but here a like your outstanding progress!

[SweetieTheBot]

3134119

I'm practicing

Thank you very much

[xxXFluttershyXx]

3138853
That is good to hear.

[SakuraLullaby]

Wonderful story!

[SweetieTheBot]

3379112

Thanks so much for your comments <3

[Volkonski]

Few crits that just ruined it for me.

1. The pacing was just too quick to actually build anything up
2. We barely know anything about autumn or pound cake (what they like, dislike, personality etc) so there is no way to actually get invested in the character
3. The fight between autumn and pound felt forced
4. Why on earth was pound angry with autumn?, most people would be sad/devastated at such a loss and get angry later on. I could understand if you were going for the "He's angry because he just missed his chance" but you didn't exactly put any emphasis on his emotions, you just kinda made him get angry without any build up

For example: Later that day. Pound just couldn't believe his luck, he had just missed his chance with the filly he loved and now he may never get another chance again. He lay there on his bed sobbing into his pillow, his mind fighting with a haze of emotions as he contemplated on just how badly he messed up. "Why can't I do anything right?" he asked himself as he sat up and wiped a few tears from his cheek, " Am I really that bad of a pony to forget?" he said as he looked down at his hooves which then proceeded to pound into his wall " NO!" he shouted " It's not my fault that she didn't understand, I tried to tell her but no, she had to go and make a huge fuss and run away" he said angrily, his face now scrunched up in hatred " Forget her, and her baking too!. I only did it because she was there, I'd rather be up in the clouds with scoots and rainbow than sat in a kitchen, slaving away over a bunch of stupid cookies" he muttered to himself as he got off his bed and proceeded to walk to his bedroom door. He was just about to open it when the door decided to collide with his muzzle and knock him to the floor. Dazed by the collision, he grabbed his muzzle in an attempt to alleviate the pain and looked up, only to see his sister standing in the doorway with an annoyed look on her face.

Overall it was ok, but it could have been way better. I hope my example helps you in later stories.

[SweetieTheBot]

3732480

Thank you so much for the critique.
This story was lazily written, and it's fairly old, I'll keep your crit in mind for future stories, you have no idea how much I appreciate it

[MelodyStar]

anypony who didn't d'awww at this is heartless

[Kikio3000]

Awww! :)