A Little Visit

by Annabelle RTH

Chapter 38

Author's Note:

So, as promised, two chapters this month.

Quick warning. We dive into Flash’s abusive relationship. Now, nothing too vivid, I think. But something closer to hurt/comfort side of things.

I’ve been meaning to get back to this for quite some time because it’s something that will affect Flash and others for the rest of their lives. I decided to tackle it in my own way. My hope is that we gain an understanding of and relate to these characters and life. We love rom-coms but that’s not all there is to being in a relationship with someone. This won’t be the last we see this because that’s not how life works. I will try my best with warnings and writing these scenes but I’m not perfect.

Proceed with caution, if you’d like.

“So, was it leftovers or do you want something else?” I asked Twilight. We were back at my apartment. As soon as Flurry Heart was distracted enough, we got out of there with my mane. I walked into the kitchen after I put my armor away. Twilight was on the couch huddled under the blanket as usual.

Dinner was a safe thing for me to think about. Was I being a bit paranoid, maybe? I was stuffing the worry of Flurry Heart somehow having the power to switch our manes again when she had no idea where I was down into my stomach so that I could digest it along with dinner. I opened the fridge and did a once over.

“Mmm, what did we have yesterday again?” Twilight asked. She sounded less tired than she did earlier. When you weren’t necessarily caring for a foal, you can recover a bit from the joy the foal shows. I brought my hoof up and smoothed out my mane. I sighed. She was just being a foal. Let it go. Twilight’s here. Dinner and Twilight, that is my whole world right now.

I closed the fridge and looked at Twilight. I smiled seeing the familiar sight of her huddled under the blanket on the couch. She smiled at me and held the blanket over herself like a hood. All I really could see was her face. Yeah, my whole world right now.

“We ordered a pizza, but I think I can make up some quesadillas-”

“NO QUESADILLAS!!”

I flinched… Please don’t storm off! Please don’t throw food at me!...

I couldn’t open my eyes. I was afraid of what I might find.

Wait… What…

She was gently shaking me. I was breathing… I think… shallow. The rock in my chest tried to bounce with my breathing. “I’m sorry. Please Flash, talk to me.” She kept repeating.

What?

I opened up my eyes. Blue crystal. Silver fridge. Golden armor. My apartment… When I looked over at the mare trying to get my attention, I could think. Whoa. I could feel my heart beating like crazy from my… moment.

She looked at me with tears in her eyes. Purple eyes. Bright pink stripe.

“Twilight?” I asked. I… I wanted to be sure…

“Flash, are you okay?” Her hooves were on my shoulders.

“I… I think so. I…” I brought my hoof up to my head. I… was there and back so fast…

“What happened?” She let my shoulders go. “You just-you just…”

“I… I was back. I…ugh.” I shook my head, not wanting to believe this was happening, but knowing that it was. I reanalyzed things after what happened in Ponyville and came to a conclusion. I really hoped I was wrong but evidently, I was right. I hoped… I hoped it was just gone. So many years had passed that it never came to mind. I thought, it was forgotten. That it was stuck behind an invisible wall, in a cell, with a guard in a part of my brain that I couldn’t reach. That I wouldn’t be able to find again.

She swaddled me and wrapped her forelegs around me and cried, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Flash.” She kept repeating her apology.

My heart sank, hearing the guilt, terror, and tremble in her voice. I kept quiet because I knew she needed this. She needed to let it out. I undid the swaddled and wrapped us both in the blanket. I held onto her tight. Eventually, her crying slowed down, and her breathing and heartbeat were more or less back to normal. She could hear me and take in what I had to say now. “It’s okay, it’s okay Twilight. I’m fine now. It passed.” It passed, it passed. “None of this is your fault. You’ve got to know that. Please Twilight, you didn’t do this to me. You’re not the one who…” I felt my hold on her faulter before I squeezed her again. Her head on my chest. “Who hurt me, who tried to control me and steal me away from myself. That wasn’t you.” I felt tears forming. I swallowed as memories flashed by. It wasn’t you, Twilight. Twilight didn’t throw hot grease at me. Twilight didn’t threaten me. Twilight didn’t leave me agonizing while I tried to read between the lines. Twilight didn’t lie to me. Twilight didn’t refuse to talk to me. I’m not there anymore. I’m safe.

“I know, but…” She took a wheezy breath and looked up at me. Tears fell from my eyes, now. “But if I hadn’t yelled… you… you wouldn’t have…” She squeezed me tighter and looked down in shame. “You wouldn’t’ve gone through that again.”

I sighed; this is exactly what I was afraid of. “I know… I know you feel awful about this. But please don’t blame yourself for this. This was bound to happen sooner or later.” I didn’t want to accept it but… it’ll come when triggered it seems… it might come in waves for the rest of my life.

She brought her head up and looked at me. We still held onto each other.

“Still, you shouldn’t have to go through this because I overreacted. I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that.” She shook her head. “No matter how much I dislike quesadillas.”

Suddenly, I held onto that. I was feeling so heavy and drained, I needed a slight escape. “Yeah… if you don’t mind me asking. What’s up with that?” I wiped the tears away from my eyes.

She shivered instantly and took her hooves back. She took a step back and swaddled me again. This is… new. “They’re just so… cheesey.” Her face distorted into something that actually pained me. I felt uneasy and pressed my lips together.

“So… there’s such a thing as too much cheese for you?” I love cheese. I can work with this since, on some level, she’s okay with cheese. I have this thing with raspberries where I can’t eat them by themselves, but I do enjoy products made from them. So, I get it… on some level.

She shrank into herself and looked away in shame, maybe fear. “Something like that.” The rock in my chest twisted differently. Less painful but, still there. “I’m sorry Flash.”

The rock retwisted even worse. “Twilight, it’s okay, really. This-this was just an accident.” I undid the swaddle and wiped the away her tears. I swaddled her. Twilight knew everything, everything that happened while I was dating Her. I thought… I thought she understood. I worked through what happened and I accepted what happened. This was… I mean it beyond sucks, but I can handle it. I can ride it out. I did ride it out.

“I could have prevented it. You shouldn’t have to relive any of it.” She still wouldn’t look at me.

“You’re right, I shouldn’t.” I told her. I had to use a different tactic. She flinched and tried to retreat into herself. Nope not happening. I held onto her. “This wouldn’t be happening if it weren’t for Her. This is going to happen sometimes, and I don’t want you to be afraid to be yourself around me. You’re allowed to react however you’re going to react. If it didn’t happen today, then some other time. And I’ll ride it out. I can handle it.” I pulled away slightly and brought my hoof to her chin so she would look at me. “Listen, why don’t we just sit for a minute, okay?” Then, I offered her my hoof.

She sniffled and looked at me with tears in her eyes. “Okay,” she took my hoof, “I can do that.”

And so, we cuddled on the couch. Normally, I’d relish the feeling of having her here but… I couldn’t… I couldn’t help but… remember. It’s a cycle, kind of. Certain actions, words, no particular order but some kind of repeat. I swallowed as I tried to keep my breath steady and looked down at Twilight who was curled up with her head on my chest. She didn’t look at me. Honestly, if she did, I would have broken down. I never wanted her to see me like this. I never wanted her to feel guilty. It’s not her job to get me through this… but… she-we’ll never escape it. As long as we’re together, it’ll be there… somewhere in my heart, in my head, in my gut… and now in her heart, head and gut too.

What have I done?

“Flash?”

“Hm?”

She sat up and draped the blanket on me. “Wh-What do you need?” She looked at me weakly. Her eyes were red and puffy. Her normal gleam diminished.

“What?” I sat up and undid the blanket.

“I-I mean, do-do you need to be alone or… want to… bury your face in a tub of ice cream… I-” She hiccupped.

What have I done? I couldn’t stand to see her like this.

I sighed. What do I need? For none of this to happened in the first place, for starters. For Twilight to not feel guilty. “I… actually would like that tub of ice cream. Dessert before dinner sounds good about now.”

I was about to get up, but Twilight swaddled me again.

“Twi-” I tried to protest.

“Let me do this for you Flash, please?” Her eyes were full of determination and guilt as she plead. My heart sank seeing her like this. The tears threatening in her eyes tugged at my own tears. I sighed, knowing that she needed this. She wants to take care of me.

“Yeah… yeah okay.” I told her.

Comments

[GalaxiaStarfall]

Aight just finished the chapters, im wondering when the next update will be?