Long was the Shadow She Cast

Sad Celestia411 stories ·61 members

Feeling rejected from their subjects and even her own sister, Princess Luna undergoes her transformation into the evil Nightmare Moon. The only pony able to stop her is her own sister Celestia who must banish her in the end.

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Prane

Prane #1 · Aug 7th, 2013 · · ·

I'd suggest putting the introduction of your story straight into its long description, as well as direct links to songs which inspired you - might help people feel the mood of the story before even reading it.

As for the story itself, I got nothing. Basically, instead of 'how will it end?' question that usually drives us into reading, here we face 'how did it start?' (because we know how it ended by heart!), and I feel you captured Luna's grief and sorrow as possible reasons for her turning quite well. Have you read the MLP comics, though? There is a story arc there, vol. #5-#8, that builds up on the whole 'Nightmare' idea nicely.

I shall also forever blame the pony who made those stained glass pieces in the first place!

celestiaandluna111

celestiaandluna111 #2 · Aug 7th, 2013 · · ·

I'm still crying! This is awesome!

MonkeyKnight

MonkeyKnight #3 · Aug 8th, 2013 · · ·

You sir/Madame wrote a lovely story. I really got the feeling of the story, though it might help that I have listed to the songs multiple times. I was singing the song when you wrote the lyrics and I think it really added to the mood.

On another note, Celestia has now moved even further down my top 40 ponies list. Though after re watching the seasons again I had to move her back up to 25.

Luna, if I was a pony I would send you fan letters daily. You are clearly the better Princess and I adore your night. I'm being serious when I say I like the night better than the day.

East Coast

East Coast #4 · Aug 8th, 2013 · · ·

Having heard the song, I sorta knew where this was going to go. I started writing a musical based around it myself.

My only pressing complaint is that the long ass description of where this idea came from DOESN'T belong in the first chapter. If scrolling down weren't an option I'd probably had jumped ship before getting to the (rather swell) story. Moving it to the description, or making it an auther's note may be best.

Silarias