My ships are better than your ships
In another one of those incidents that seem to befall Ponyville all too often, yet another ancient magic is released upon the land, and everypony is forced to be something different every day. This starts a cycle that will throw Ponyville in for a loop, as usual.
Twilight strives to fix things, Rainbow Dash freaks out, Fluttershy doesn't really care.
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Pretty good so far. A few minor errors and some odd stylistic choices, though.
-"Radience" is misspelled. Should be "Radiance".
-In the final sentence, "laid" is incorrect. It should instead be "lie", or some conjugation thereof (honestly, that final sentence is worded kind of awkwardly. "Lay" is the act of putting something down somewhere; something that lies there is something that was placed like that).
-There should be a period here: "Rainbow Dash rubbed her head. "Pinkie."" You made that mistake in a few other cases before, too. Might want to read through it yourself and correct the other instances. Unless it's a dialogue tag (' "I walked there," she said, "and then here.") there should be a period before the quotation mark.
-This here:
"she whispered" doesn't read quite right. Perhaps " - her voice dropped to a whisper - " instead? Also, I'm almost certain that when actions interrupt dialogue like this, the dashes go outside the quotation marks.
Now, for the mostly stylistic:
"Today" is unnecessary, and would best be omitted in my opinion.
Another thing to eliminate or rephrase so it doesn't stand out as much. Maybe just don't claim there was no flash of light, as there was, in fact, a flash of light
Not needed, and seems sort of redundant. I'd omit it.
Maybe "If" would be better. "If Rarity noticed or cared about Dash's inattention, she didn't show it."
Rainbow Dash has become so full of herself that it spilled out and became two other ponies
You might want to rewrite that lead-in to her story to make it clear she was rescuing the fillies, and was not actually the three fillies. Plus, the bit about self-promoting yarns seems a bit unnecessary - that it's a self-aggrandizing story should be evident just from reading it. I did like Dash's dialogue in this fic, though. Well-written. Pinkie and Rarity too.
As a tip, reading what you've written aloud to yourself is a good way to proofread and catch errors like odd wording. If something sounds wrong to you then, it probably needs to be re-worded or cut out. Plus you can catch punctuation and spelling goofs as you look it over more closely.
4400766
Thank you, I'll be sure to take your advice into account.
4400836
Glad to be of help. Good luck!
Not sure why there are a ton of dislikes on this, but it's definitely interesting. I hope you continue and don't take too much disheartenment from the naysayers.
5158374
Thank you so much for the encouragement. I really wish that people would tell me what they found so disagreeable to prompt so many dislikes.