• Member Since 14th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen April 5th

Absolution


Short bio huh? I didn't know there was such a thing

E

A few weeks after Twilight's coronation, Applejack seeks out the newest princess to share a piece of her mind... Albeit more reluctantly than she would prefer.
definitely not good reading...

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 14 )

Wasn't bad at all. This was quite the story.

And, I can easily see it being SoL. Well done.

~Skeeter The Lurker

I found a Grammar mistake, sadly lost track of it.

But why Applejack? I never see Rainbow Dash asking Twilight or being mad at Twilight when she's an Alicorn, just Applejack.

Not saying its a bad story, it's good, just wanted to get that off my chest.

Wait. Where is Twilight taking her at the end?

Since a unicorn harvested those apples during Apple Buck Season, perhaps AJ, Big Mac, or better yet, Granny Smith (or why not, several customers) MAY have told the Apples that Twilight's particular lot tasted LESS like the apples they're used to, because normally, the apples harvested from SAA are handled 100% by earth ponies, from planting to packaging, hence, they're 100% full of earth pony magic. And since unicorns and pegasi can't handle agriculture as well as earth ponies do, the apples that RD, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Twilight harvested may have been affected in quality somewhat.

It's also likely that the trees they handled may have suffered a drop in production, too, unless the Apples were quick to "restore" them with their magic.

I actually really enjoyed this. The grammar and sentence structure was very well put together, i never had an off put moment where id have to question if the character would actually say that. It's off to a great start, and I'd say continue working with it if it feels right. I'd keep reading.

Anyways tl:dr the story was great, keep up the good work.

2911818
The reason I chose Applejack for this is because she is -effectively- the least influencial of them all... I mean, with unicorns the only limit is what you're capable of... with pegasi the only limit is how you can push yourself, and as an earth pony... Well, you'll never be able to experience half the things the world has to offer because you... well, just can't.... Unless your Pinkie Pie... she doesn't need any help...

I don't know, I suppose it's my weakness for thinking Applejack would have the most chance of inferiority issues amongst the mane 6....

2911989
That's when I thought the message was finished... I know it ended abruptly, but, I don't think it needs a proper ending... Where they go is, up to you I suppose... To make a difference in the world the way they always do...

2913177
Yeah... call be a skeptist... But Earth Pony magic to me just doesn't make sense...
I understand the premise of it all, don't get me wrong... But being able to care for the earth/plant life, to me, shouldn't be something of a racial skill, as opposed to a learned trait...

But I do understand where you're coming from, thanks for your thoughts!

2914424
Thanks for the kind words! Although if I were to continue this, I wouldn't know where it would go...
I suppose it could turn into a TwiJack friend-shippy thing... But... Nah...
Whenever I think about a story with that direction all I can think of is "A Delicate Balance"... and THAT is more something I'd rather not compare this with...

2915743

The point is that earth magic is quite active in earth ponies. In "Hearth's Warming Eve", when that plant shoot grows out of the clump of dirt AJ is holding, that's actual earth pony magic, not a stage prop.

I felt as though the opening dragged on for a bit. The description said this was about AJ and Twilight, but it took a long time to get to Applejack. Almost 1,200 words, or over 1/4th of the story, was just the setup (and yes, I did check the wordcount). This is a curious issue to me, considering the last story I read I was critical of the writer for moving too quickly through the introduction... so I admit it's a hard balancing act.

This almost feels like an attempt to justify alicornifying the entire Mane 6... almost. You dodged it at the end there. I saw a bit too much explanation, but that's an easy trap to fall into (says the guy who does so continuously); it just felt at times like you were telling us a lot more than you needed to.

In the end, I liked it. It didn't wow me, but it brings up a good point: what do the rest of them get out of all of this? Today you might argue that they have 'Rainbow Power,' but meh, it doesn't feel like all that big of an award to me, especially since A) we have no idea exactly how it's used, and B) is it really any different from having the Elements of Harmony? Aside from being supercharged, that is. so yeah, I feel ya, AJ.

5197461
oh god, you read my thing...
why would you do that?

But yeah, I know what you mean... this was just a thought I came up with and randomly put to screen... Kinda don't like how it turned out because there's basically nothing happening in the end, but not everything has to have a thrilling climax...
Idunno, again, was just a thought that ended up being good enough to inspire me to write something...

5198516

oh god, you read my thing...
why would you do that?

Because you've read tons of my things, so it's only fair I read your one. :twilightsmile:

The ending was totally anticlimactic, but it didn't bother me at all (save for the desire to know what Twilight had planned).

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