Love is a hard thing to come by. Especially for Layla. The loneliness has taken over and led her in what seems like a never ending cycle of Depression. But one day, this day, will change her outlook on life altogether... or will it?
Chapters (4)
Layla Bell
Joined 29th Dec, 2011 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Silentpegasus · 63k words · 231 14 · 6k views
- Raidah · 17k words · 133 18 · 5.5k views
- The Fields of Ice · 28k words · 186 25 · 5.7k views
- Mr101 · 5.4k words · 283 25 · 4.2k views
- Cora Zone Unicorn · 17k words · 90 8 · 4.7k views
- BlackWidower · 26k words · 95 11 · 4.7k views
- Zoodude255 · 1.1k words · 79 6 · 3.2k views
- HiddenUnderACouch · 200k words · 218 10 · 4k views
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.064 seconds
Total duration
702 users online
954,273 hits today, 2,660,641 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Critiques are welcome.
Oh, I will. This is just the beginning. ^^
Ok
*deep breath* yay
I'm going to assume you are a female, because Layla is, and your screen name is Layla Bell...
Anyway, this is one of the first actual romances i've seen written by a chick, it's mostly dudes. Surprisingly.
As for the actual review: It's need to be longer. A lot longer. 1-4 hundred word chapters do not catch the eye of the readers, and cannot tell much of a story adequately. Hope I don't sound to critical, I thought this was okay, for what it was.
221708
I've stuck to writing RP's for a long long time, so I'm not used to transitions, or else each chapter would be longer. Like if say Layla is curled up on the ground, crying. I'd think of it as a little odd to have her get up and just walk to Everfree Forest. That's kind of why I do it in many chapters; so I can make the transitions easier.