Everypony knows the story about the Equestria's famous DJ-Po3 Vinyl Scratch. But No Pony know about her cousin. This is the journal of a colt named Beat Scratch. He grew up in West Manehattan but didn't really have a life there until high school. - Which that will be within a Journal entry - His parents were from two different worlds. Meaning one was Classical and the other was Modern. He was inspired by his cousin Vinyl to do music but do it in his own way. So he mixed up his the two worlds to create one whole life for himself. Beat Scratch's life starts off depressing but as time passes by, he finds his true happiness and his true calling.
Chapters (2)
Okay... let's see here: I read your first blog post, and quickly had an idea on how you react. You're protective about yourself, and the way you manage things.
I respect that, since, not all can handle their protectiveness.
You've also said that someone had sent a private message to you, telling you that you've messed up. With all due respect: please, if you're having problems with those, just tend to ignore them.
But anyways, I'm going to give you a review... or whatever thoughts come to my head while reading this. I'll also try to be nice, since, I don't want you hating on me.
Okay. Nothing out of the ordinary here, and also nothing to worry about.
I'll list your errors, as well as my thoughts about the short description.
First: In the first sentence, you don't need to capitalize the 'c' in colt. Also, note that nobody really cares about others' OC, unless it's really exciting, and at the same time, intriguing.
If you still don't get what I meant on the first one, then I'll make it clear and easy. The story is great; it has a good plot, good OC -- and not a Gary Stu, or Mary Sue good kind of way -- great characterization, a bit realistic, and something like that.
Second: In the second sentence, I think that you're missing an 'a' between 'having' and 'hard'.
Third: You misspelled 'true', and what do you mean by 'clling'? And yeah, again, about back stories of OCs'.
So the short description is covered up; now for the long description.
First: Vinyl isn't really that famous in Equestria, and if you want to make her, then make use of the alternate universe tag. But that's just my thought. Also, you're Pon3 is lacking an 'n'.
Second: A story about an OC isn't that much of an 'attention grabber', unless it's a clopfic, which is my cup of tea.
No. But seriously, OC clopfics are much, much more noticeable than a story like this. Oh, and your 'until' has an extra 'l'.
Third: Don't you think somepony would go against him, first? I mean, in a place where modern music, as well as classic music already exist: I would say somepony would invent it first.
Anyways, this isn't my story; it's about your OC. But I'll just post this here.
Last: I don't see why Viny's life wasn't affected...
Anyways, I finished listing off your errors, as well as my thoughts about it. I'm gonna go read the first chapter, and try to straighten it out after I finished.
If you want to.
EDIT: First chapter done... and I have to admit: I had a bit of a giggle while going through it.
Okay... so normally, a baby -- or in this case: a filly/colt -- would start to acquire memories when he/she is at the age of four, or in the middle of three. But starting at the age of three would be... impossible?
Error.
Well... I may not be the man who shall choose what to say, and change about your OC... but um... your OC didn't even reached the age of a filly; you know what I'm saying?
Oh no, no, no, no, no. I may have not experienced a life of having a rich family, nor experienced living a wealthy lifestyle. But I know one thing: Rich parents tend to hook their child up with another rich family, so in this case, no matter how bad you are at making friends, as long as you're rich, you'll have one.
Most authors' problem here -- including me -- is choosing a name for their pony OC. Let's list some canon names, shall we?
Pinkie Pie
Rainbow Dash
Applejack
Fluttershy
Most of their names relates to their self-being; Pinkie Pie is pink; Rainbow Dash has a rainbow colored mane; Applejack works in an apple farm; Fluttershy is... well, shy.
For a mare who leads an orchestra, try something that relates to music. Maybe Melody would be kind of cute.
The hairs on my neck are slowly rising.
But he doesn't know Pico Pie. :D
Why bother marrying each other?
Anyways, would love to finish the review, but I'm getting quite hungry, so I'll just skip it. But I guess that would be enough.
2641926 I think all the grammar and spelling errors are intended. This colt is three years old, and these are his journal entries, so Darf is writing in a three year old's mindset. $10 says that the style and maturity of Beat Scratch's writing will increase as Beat Scratch grows older. Also, a lot of your criticism is just... nit picky. If Beat Scratch is rich and doesn't have friends, he's rich and doesn't have friends. If he's remembering everything at three years old, he's remembering things at three years old. 'Nuff said.
2642240 Well there is a part where he said that she was a filly, regardless of being a male.
2642268 .___. where did I put that?
2642268 I'm asking where so I can fix it ^^"
2644965 First chapter; first paragraph.