The Beef and The Politician (revised)
“Mmmruufff, urmmm, twerlert, you’re bercermin uh rerly gerd cerk,” Spike mumbled.
“Spike! What have I told you about talking with your mouth full? Swallow and say that again. I could not understand a word you said,” Twilight chided her assistant. He swallowed his fish before opening his mouth to speak again.
“I said, ‘Twilight, you’re becoming a really good cook.’ Every time you cook, it’s better than the last time. Although, I wouldn’t mind this tilapia being topped with sapphire dust.” Spike drooled at the thought. His fork made another pass at his meal, only to find that he had already taken the last bite.
“Aww, thanks Spike. I’m glad you enjoy my cooking. How are you feeling about this, anyway?” Twilight asked. Her own nightmares had stopped four nights ago, but a strange feeling had descended upon her. Twilight could never put the sensation into words, only that she felt it deep within her bones.
“Well, I still feel guilty about this,” the dragon stated, “but I haven’t had any nightmares. Maybe it’s because I’m still a baby or that I know meat is good for dragons.” Spike paused for a moment, before speaking again, “Twi, on an unrelated note, my back is killing me. Can you take a look?”
“Sure, Spike. I’ll see what I can do.” The alicorn hopped off her stool and trotted around the table to where her assistant sat. Spike bent over so she could get a better look. It only took a second for her to make a diagnosis. “Good news. I get to be your teacher.”
“Wait, what? Twilight, what are you talking about?” The dragon was now thoroughly confused. He looked back at his caretaker, who had a large smile plastered on her face.
“Your flight teacher.” Spike pondered Twilight’s statement until he was struck with the revelation.
“My wings! I’m getting my wings! This is even better than the moustache spell! I can’t wait to show Rarity!” A dreamy expression formed on the young drake’s face. His eyes grew distant as his mind dove into a world of its own creation. It took five tries for Twilight to snap him out of it.
“I hate to burst your bubble, little guy, but something as big and complicated as these wings will take a long time to grow.”
Spike pouted for a moment before whining, “But you got your wings in a few minutes. How come I can’t?”
“I’m sorry, Spike. My wings are the result of an extraordinarily powerful spell that rearranged my soul. In essence, the Twilight Sparkle without wings ceased to exist while the Twilight Sparkle with wings took its place and was familiar with the appendages as if they had always been there. Even my DNA has been rewritten to accommodate my wings
“You, on the other hoof, have not had your intrinsic nature changed. The Spike without wings is the same as the Spike with wings. You are growing the wings through a biological process, like a tadpole growing legs to become a frog. Then there is the fact that dragons are super magic resistant. I couldn't grow wings on you if I tried,” Twilight finished her explanation.
Spike looked dejected. “But what about when you hatched me? Or the moustache spell? Or Trixie turning me into a bouncy ball?”
“Hatching you was possible because an egg is less resistant than an older dragon. The moustache was just conjured and then attached to your face, not actually grown. The alicorn amulet was a fluke. Some of those spells should have killed Trixie to use.” Twilight explained. “Spike, there’s nothing we can do to speed your wings up. We’re just going to have to wait. In the mean time, however, we have to keep you well fed,” she said with a smile. Spike returned a toothy grin.
The next day, a griffin and a dragon walked towards the north side of town, the latter of which was pulling a suitcase. In the distance, a train whistle sounded. The duo picked up their pace, wanting to get to Ponyville station before the Canterlot express did. Upon arriving at the station, they paid for their tickets and boarded one of the cars. Sitting down on a pair of the benches, the dragon spoke to the griffin, “Twilight, why do you look like that?”
The griffin disguised alicorn said, “There’s a restaurant in Canterlot that caters to primarily carnivorous species. It’s within sight of the train station. I didn’t want to get any unwanted attention. Ponies would say, ‘Why is our princess going into such a vulgar establishment? The scandal!’” Her voice had taken on the most snobbish Canterlot accent she could muster, before bursting out laughing. Spike quickly followed; he laughed so hard that he fell off of his seat and rolled around on the floor in mirth.
“May I take your order, ma’am?” The griffin waiter asked. The disguised Twilight and her assistant both ordered the rib-eye steak. The waiter turned and made for the kitchen, leaving the pair alone at the table. Spike reached for one of the bread sticks offered and began to idly munch on it.
Twilight broke the silence, “Spike, remember your promise?” He nodded in affirmation. “This is somewhat dangerous territory here. If anyone found out that I had eaten another hoofed animal, the repercussions would be huge.”
“I know, Twi. I’m just worried that this might go too far. What if you start craving, well, your neighbor?” Spike asked in a hushed voice while choosing his wording carefully.
“Spike.” That one word settled the drake’s mind, assuring him that his friend was not going to be a cannibal.
“Oh, food’s here. You ready, Twilight?”
“As I will ever be.”
The fork impaled the rib-eye, letting the juices flow out. The knife made its way across the flesh, sawing into it. The savory aroma filled the nostrils of the ones who planned to consume it. Slowly the fork lifted the bite-sized morsel to the waiting mouth. The owner of said mouth closed a pair of lips around the bite and pulled it off the fork. Both Twilight and Spike smiled as the flavors exploded on their tongues. Each one slowly chewed, analyzing the flavor and texture of the meat. The salty juices and the pepper accents played like a harmonious chord with the savory flavors of the meat itself.
Both dragon and disguised pony agreed that this was one of the best things they had ever tasted, taking perverse delight in their forbidden fruits.
“Mmmmmm… That was too good,” the happy dragon said, rubbing his stomach contently. Twilight walked alongside him undisguised, having dispelled the illusion a while after leaving the restaurant. The duo made their way to Canterlot castle, where Princess Celestia was waiting for them. As they passed, ponies would stop what they were doing and bow down to their princess.
“Oh yes, you said it Spike,” Twilight chuckled, then grew serious. “Now, if only I could get these ponies to stop bowing to me. It feels weird having them bow down to me. Doubly so considering, well, you know.”
“I get it. Don’t worry about it, Twilight. If they want to bow, just let them have their fun,” said Spike.
“Fun. Not the word I would have chosen. Hrmmm…” Twilight thought for a moment before letting out a chuckle. “Hehe, I guess I see why both Princess Celestia and Princess Luna both try to crack jokes all the time. Nothing relieves stress like a good joke.”
“And Pinkie Pie is the queen of jokes,” Spike added.
Celestia sighed, relieved that day court was finished. ‘I wonder when my faithful student will get-’ Her thought was interrupted by the arrival of said faithful student. Twilight trotted up to the throne, escorted by her assistant. Celestia hopped off her seat and moved to meet her half way. 'Has Twilight gotten taller? Must just be my imagination.'
“Ahh, my faithful student, how are you doing? I trust that everything is going well with your friends in Ponyville?” Celestia spoke. The two princesses spent a few minutes catching up with one another, exchanging thing from major events to idle gossip. Eventually, Celestia had to get down to business.
“My dear Twilight Sparkle. I called you here because I feel that you are ready to help Equestria on the political front. Lately, the relationship between us and the Griffin Kingdom has grown stressful. They have been having border disputes with the diamond dogs, and the stress is causing them to make higher and higher demands from us. Some of them are reasonable, but many are not, including loaning pony troops to help repel the dogs. As of now, the situation has not deteriorated beyond a few… unpleasant remarks. I fear that should it grow worse, they may close the border. There is no indication that war may break out between us, but I wish to keep the border open. The Griffin Kingdom is a powerful trade ally and it would severely hurt both of us if they close the border, but they are a proud race. If we ‘abandon’ them in their eyes, then they will see fit that they stop all communications.”
Twilight asked, “What do you want me to do?”
Celestia smiled at her pupil’s enthusiasm. “Tomorrow, you and Spike will take the royal airship to their capital and will serve as diplomats for Equestria for an extended period of time. I expect that your lessons in friendship will be useful here. Though King Grendel Ironbeak is quite nice, he can be quite stubborn. Unfortunately, the members of his counsel also tend to be vicious warmongers.” Celestia let out a sigh. “They also tend to be sticklers for tradition. That means, If you are going to get anywhere with them politically, they are going to want to take you out on a hunt.”
Stats
Page generated in 0.025 seconds
Total duration
878 users online
1,486,475 hits today, 2,137,249 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2025
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2025 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
YES! ANOTHER CHAPTER !
Uh oh. Twilight may be graduating to actually killing food... and enjoying it.
an update? HELL YES!
will he start getting bigger like Twilight? 
so the meat is speeding Spikes growth? this pleases me
if Spike lets his dragon instincts take hold he is going to be good on that hunt, much respect for the little dude
i wonder will Twilight earn the respect of the Griffon Kingdom when/if they find out about her meat eating?
Interesting.
She could be really popular among griffons and not so popular at home with a few key actions.
"Boarder" problems? Something wrong with the tenants?
2681357
I'm an idiot.
There, I fixed it.
I am upgrading my crazy theory to improbable theory and handwaving Celestia's ignorance as a thousand years of forgetfulness.
Yes.
This.
It is brilliant.
More, please, more!
HA! im loving this, twilight is going further and further into "taboo" territory!
im surprised that there hasn't been that many "ponies can't eat meat, duh!" people yet. horses can eat meat yes, it's very common that they will steal meat from their owners when caught off-guard (like a salmon/chicken sandwich), the problem lies in that having meat regularly in their diet impacts their behavior (and probably puts a strain on their metabolism, this i don't remember any facts about, hence the parenthesis). IRL ponies/horses are classified as specialized herbivores also, so they're not meant to eat meat (and a few other things). what people doesn't consider is the following:
1. horses 'shouldn't' eat wheat products either, which they do quite a bit in the show.
2. the ponies in mlp are so unlike real world ponies/horses, biologically, that it's ridicules to compare them.
2684526
Let me just throw this out there. Unless otherwise stated by MLP cannon or my fic, assume MLP's ponies are biologically identical to real world ponies. Also assume that the standard pony diet is enough to support higher brain functions.
2683517
Sorry, guess again.
It's related to the difference between Celestia&Luna vs. Cadance&Twilight.
Do keep making crazy theories though... I would love to hear them!
2684754
that they already eat stuff they shouldn't in the show doesn't count then?
One of Hercules's labors involved capturing the Mares of Diomedes who were supposedly fed human flesh, which drove them mad.
So that's what happens to all those Human in Equestria stories....
2684767
Luna is the darker one of the two, and not just by colour, and eats meat. Cadence is the sort-of equivalent of Celestia. Do the maths.
What do I win?
2684946
Nope, try again!
2685020
Luna and Celestia were born alicorns, Cadence and Twilight magically ascended?
I wonder if the meat will change Twilight in some way physically (it already has mentally; she enjoys eating it). Will she find herself gradually becoming more muscled/hardier, or perhaps a little smarter; something like that?
REDUNDANCY DETECTED... CORRECTING
2747564
Thank you. It's hard for me to catch these redundancies. Let me fix that now.
Did you say that she felt something Deep in her bones? If that is true I can see this going somewhere interesting.
So... Does anyone remember the Wendigos from the Hearth's Warming Eve story? In mythology a Wendigo was a beast that rose from a man who had cannibalized another man. These stories often came from tribes of nomads who lived in the Northern parts of North America. It was from these tribes that the name came from. They described Wendigos as terrible monsters who, after eating the flesh of another man, constantly craved the flesh of man. It was a creature who was bound to wander for eternity, hunting men, and dealing with the pain and shame of all of its sins.
Since Wendigos have been mentioned before in the show. It stands to reason that maybe, Twilight is headed down a path that can only end badly.
2685071
I'm sorry, but how did you not know that?
2684754 I would point out that gorillas are primarily vegetarian (save for termites) and are a heck of a lot smarter than lions, for example.
Elephants are COMPLETE vegetarians, and also are highly intelligent.
Crocodiles are completely carnivorous... and stupid.
So, there is not really any correlation between diet an intelligence.
2683517 Celestia and Luna must occaisionally eat young foals to remain immortal. They devour their bodies AND THEIR SOULS!!!
2684526 If they eat meat too often, horses develop kidney failure, due to the tremendous increase in ammonium metabolites released by the metabolism of excess amino acids.
Their renal system and liver are not evolved to handle constant high levels of animal protein.
The side effects are even more severe in ruminant herbivores, who additionally develop digestive system illness from chronic meat consumption.
4605936 Bears are omnivores and terrifyingly intelligent. But you have a point, its not the diet itself, its more... The logistical requirements of attaining a varied diet requires smart brains, to remember sources of food throughout the various seasons and to learn associations. We eat because we smart. Not we smart because we eat.
4605962 The best way to go is by eating meat. I don't think they would mind.
Aw, no bacon?
I could just imagine Twilight sneaking through the drive thru at Burger King......or starting a franchise in the griffon lands and calling it Burger Princess.
5088002 congratulations you just started a billon new fan fics!!!!!
Error detected!
Idol: Icon, image, celebrity, hero, statue.
You wanted idle: meaningless, unmoving, unimportant, inane, neutral.
4605944
Soooo, not unlike the God Emperor of Mankind, then. Bitchin'.
...maybe it's just me, but you'd think that the revelation that Twilight Sparkle is dead and Princess Twilight is the magical construct that killed her by eating her soul would merit a bit more of a reaction than it gets. That line was really hilarious to me - in any other story, this kind of thing might be the big premise to the entire plot, but here you are, using it to make a throwaway gag. I don't know if I want to shake your hand for that or punch you in the face.
Missing period.
Double Space.
you know looking at the facts, it would be right to assume alicorns are omnivores by nature. it is our diet after all that is partially responsible for human development, certain proteins and enzymes found only in meat causing the stimulation and growth of brain cells and such. the fact that twilight was craving meat would imply a deficiency her body was warning her about, and the fact that both her and spike are showing biological changes after consuming meat seems to strongly prove this theory.