“You’re friends with flip-flop and the door mat? Lame” Gilda finishes. A sour look on her face as she turns. Twilight’s horn lit up and grabbing the griffin in her magic, halting her departure.
“Gilda, nopony talks that way about my friend. Nopony,” Twilight growled. Her horn dimmed, releasing Gilda, while her eyes tried to bore holes through the griffin. At that moment, the only pony in existence who could have stared harder would have been the element of kindness.
It was not enough: Gilda remained unfazed by the purple alicorn’s assault. “Hrmph, what a dweeb. You aren’t very cool for sticking up for dweebs like those two.”
King Grendel chose that moment to walk into the room. “Gilda Ironbeak,” he spoke sternly, “what have I told you about insulting our guests?”
Gilda rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah, don’t insult the lame-o ponies,” she said sarcastically. Grendel’s wing sprang open and whacked his daughter upside the head. Gilda only grunted in annoyance. Feathers don’t hit very hard, so the act was one of humiliation rather than inflicting pain.
“I do apologize. My daughter’s arrogance has grown to ridiculous heights lately.” The king sighed. “Now hurry and drop your belongings in your room. I assume that Princess Celestia has informed you about our traditional hunt?”
“Yes, your highness. I am aware of it,” Twilight affirmed.
“Good. Unfortunately, my counsel will not consider working with you until we get this out of the way. Personally, if it was up to me, I would abolish the tradition. Unfortunately, culture and tradition fall under the jurisdiction of the council.” Grendel gave a light chuckle. “Vultures, the lot of them,” he said under his breath. “The hunting party will leave in two hours. Dress warmly. Even though the trees will block most of the wind, the forecast calls for subzero temperatures tonight. We can’t postpone this.”
“I understand. Spike and I will be ready,” Twilight said, giving a glance to her assistant. She noticed that Gilda had wandered off at some point during the conversation.
“Oh? Your assistant will be joining us?” Grendel asked, surprise evident in his voice. “Only you are required to go, Princess. He may stay here, if he wishes.”
“No, I want to go. Dragons can eat meat, after all. Someday, I’ll grow too big for pony society, and I will have to care for myself,” Spike said. “The earlier I learn how, the better.”
Grendel blinked at the pony-raised dragon’s bluntness. Sure he knew dragons ate meat, but he had assumed that living with ponies would have repressed that aspect. Grendel looked towards Twilight to judge her reaction. He was startled by the fact that the alicorn was not disgusted by her assistant’s words. In fact, she seemed almost completely accepting of the little dragon. This was not something the griffin king had ever expected to see in a pony. As he continued to read her face, he noticed something else. ‘Is that… envy?’
The snow around them muffled all sound. Spike again warmed his claws with a small jet of green flame, his cold blooded body shivering in the cold. Gilda leaned against a tree, annoyed that she had been dragged along with the group. Five of the council members stood around Twilight and Grendel. The former levitated a bow and arrow, having been pressured into it by Grendel’s advisors. Not wanting to cause a political incident, Twilight had relented.
The guilt about her future actions weighed heavily on the young princess’s heart. Eating meat was one thing, but actually killing a living animal? Fluttershy would tear her to pieces. She shook her head and pushed the thoughts aside. Twilight had to do this. There were too many consequences if she did not. ‘I wish the snow could numb my heart as much as it numbs my hooves.’ She dragged up the scientific part of her mind to bury her emotions. ‘What is it like to be a predator?’
The bow, held in her magical grip, was aimed at an unsuspecting doe in the distance. Twilight worked the magic, enchanting the arrow so that it would fly straight, pierce easily, and instantly numb the deer. That way, it would die quickly and painlessly. The magic on the string ended, releasing the enchanted arrow. With a sickening thump, the doe dropped to the ground.
Twilight's tears followed an instant later, flowing freely from her eyes. She was furious at the griffins for making her do this; at herself for relenting; and worse of all, at her own heart. She was absolutely appalled that she had a fragment of herself that enjoyed the whole situation, that enjoyed the thrill of the hunt. That fragment was happy with her accomplishment – with her kill – and wanted nothing more than to eat every last morsel of that deer.
It did not help that all of the griffins were crowding around her, Gilda included, and congratulating her on a job well done. She had earned their respect, but at what cost to Twilight’s soul? Though the griffins failed to notice her distress, Spike most certainly did not. His eyes said it all: he understood and would be there for her. Twilight smiled her thanks.
The dining hall was bustling with activity. Noble griffins and royalty chatted amongst themselves. Waitstaff brought out a large selection of dishes, each prominently featuring some sort of meat. Spike recognized some of the ones that he had tried from Twilight’s cookbook. Princess Gilda sat next to Princess Twilight. The griffin king sat on the other side of his daughter.
“Princess, that was way cool,” Gilda said. She was so excited by the alicorn’s performance in the forest. Normally, a pony would conveniently ‘miss’ their one shot. Since Twilight had actually managed to hit the deer and kill it, she had earned far more respect amongst the griffins. So much, that in Gilda’s case, the griffin princess had dropped much of her arrogance. “That was quite the shot. I can’t wait to see how the chefs prepare it.”
“Yeah…” Twilight agreed absentmindedly. In truth, she was not listening to anyone. Her mind was in a fog at the moment, still comprehending how un-ponylike she had become. The weight of her actions in the forest, compounded with her weeks of experimentation, had left Twilight a mere empty shell.
One of the waiters served Gilda and Twilight. The alicorn’s plate contained a cut of the deer’s meat, as well as a salad for her normal consumption. She was expected to try a small bite of the meat, out of politeness for the chef, but the salad was intended to be her main course. There was a bucket nearby, as nopony had ever been able to swallow without throwing up before, not even the other Equestrian princesses.
Of course, Twilight wasn’t thinking about etiquette, history, or anything for that matter. Her frazzled mind wasn’t thinking about anything. She was staring off into space, mindlessly eating whatever her levitating fork could find on her plate.
Stab.
Chew.
Swallow.
Stab.
Chew.
Swallow.
Stab.
Chew.
Swallow.
Stab.
Chew.
Swallow.
It took Twilight a moment to realize that a hush had descended upon the dining hall. She took another bite as she looked around. Every pair of eyes in the room were staring at her. Every pair, that is, except for Spike’s. He was face-clawing.
Twilight thought, ‘Did I do something wrong?’ She looked down at her plate. Her salad was untouched, but her cut of the deer was gone. The fork in her mouth still tasted of the salty meat, which she now reluctantly admitted to being far above anything she had ever tasted so far. Twilight couldn’t help it and let a tiny smile crack upon her previously stoic face.
Not missing the change in her expression, King Grendel cleared his throat. “Well… that… is not something you see every day.”
Maybe not foals, but perhaps fish and other small game. NMM and night ponies are depicted with fangs, and with good reason. At night, plants don't grow too well, and bat wings aren't very efficient, so night ponies would need more protein.
As for the "eating foals", maybe that's reminiscent from when NMM/Luna was recruiting orphans to form her army in the Lunar Rebellion.
Because Omnivore Twilight is a interesting concept. I think it holds the same branch of stories as a character who comes down with a slight case of vampirism and then struggles to cope/learn/exploit his/her new condition.
2747402
Pony with fangs + eats meat + 1000 years on the rumor mill = eats foals .
Maybe orphans have something to do with it... IDK
Also, eventual Flutterwrath.
You struck gold for me by simply having a new, original, and interesting basis for the story. I have never seen an FIMfic that featured one of the mane six eating meat, outside of the few i have read where they change species entirely. It is gold because it is something i find interesting, and I love exploring the taboo of meat eating in a largely vegetarian society. Keep up the good work.
Oh yeah, this can only end well. Twilight just keeps getting in deeper and deeper, doesn't she...
This sentence brought to you by The Department of Redundancy Department. It reads a bit awkwardly to use "the griffin" twice in a row in a sentence like this. I'd suggest either
Her horn dimmed, releasing Gilda, while her eyes tried to bore holes through the griffin.
or
Her horn dimmed, releasing the griffin, while her eyes tried to bore holes through her.
("while" also reads better than "but" since the two clauses are describing nearly-simultaneous actions, rather than exclusive or contradictory ones.)
The word you want here is "council", not "counsel". "Counsel" is a word for "advice", or a formal title for a lawyer in some jurisdictions; "council" is the word meaning "a group of people who come together to consult, deliberate, or make decisions."
"straight", not "strait"
("Pedantic", not "persnickerty.")
(Oh, hush, you.)
2747474
And this is why I like people like you. Thanks! I'll fix that right now.
In your usual pony fic meat eaters are usually portrayed either as pure evil or as ponies who live in extreme conditions for whom pantophagy is the only way to survive. You did something different by bringing Twilight's limitless curiosity into play and adding a healthy doze of humor. How could this story have not become popular?
did she eat from gilda's or another griffons plate by accident?
I like it because its Twilight trying out something taboo and isn't some gorn fic in the exchange. I am also eager to see the results of her actions.
2747514
Oops, did I not make that clear?
The griffins served every single pony()/griffin/dragon()/other sentient creature some meat and expect them to try at least a single bite.
Every single pony that has dined with griffins has thrown up at the task (), except for Twilight, who absentmindedly ate her entire portion.
Also, that meat that she ate was running around only a few hours ago.
I like this story because I'm interested on what will happen when everyone will learn that she like meat. And the part with Gilda make me want to see her trying to befriend Twilight, thinking that she is the coolest pony.
2747537 it sounded she got less then a bite of meat thus because the salad is untouched she ate her neighbors meat
Stab.
Chew.
Swallow.
Stab.
Chew.
Swallow.
Stab.
Chew.
Swallow.
Stab.
Chew.
Swallow.
sounds like a lot of meat
2747576
That's four bites... Did you really expect them to give Twilight a large portion? She's a pony.
2747557
They could be hunting buddies. Two friends who go out, kill stuff, drink some beers, complain about life, and come back home telling lies about how big the prey they bagged was.
2747537
It seemed clear enough to me; you specifically said that there was a piece of meat on her plate and she was expected to try a bite out of politeness, so I had no trouble following what was going on during the "stab, chew, swallow" bit. Not your fault if speed-readers skip over sentences and then don't know what's going on.
2747603 ally that sounds awesome, the heads of Celestia and the mane 6 when they find that , but it also means that we will have Flutterage. Or maybe she will understand and be okay with that I think she may be the only one who won't be entirely disgusted by Twilight being a meat eater.
Well. Twilight just outed herself to everyone in the room. There is no way that this won't find its way back to the princesses, her friends, and the Equestrian press.
Not that it's illegal or anything. I doubt there's a law about it; most ponies couldn't even conceive the idea of eating meat, let alone hunting.
I doubt that'll stop them from dragging Twilight to a hospital and putting her through every test imaginable, though. Luna will likely visit her dreams for weeks, trying to make sure the Nightmare hasn't taken her. Celestia might have to throw her under the metaphorical bus to preserve her own reputation. Heck, even Discord would be shocked.
And then there's her friends. Oh, her poor friends.
I'm not sure how this could get much worse.
Maybe if she defends herself to her friends by saying "don't knock it 'til you try it", and then they find to their horror that they enjoy it.
2747643
The flight to Canterlot from Mosclaw is three days non-stop by airship. Somepony like could make it in two if they really tried. I estimate that mail would take a week. Twilight has a short time before Celestia finds out. The problem is that nightmares, which act like beacons to Luna, are triggered by emotional trauma.
awesome chapter, ican't wait to read more
"So why have I struck gold? "
omnivore Twilight is an awesome concept plus the fan art is funny
The whole concept is interesting, usually its done in a darker manner with some more radical shift in the pony but this one begins with Twilight's curiosity which is a change of pace. Largely Twilight is still herself even as she tries meat, fish, or whatever.
I like your story because it is a fairly unexplored topic when it comes to fics. You write it well enough to keep engaging but you also keep it fairly light hearted. A story like this could easily become REALLY dark but you manage to inject enough sillyness into it without making it a 10'000 word running gag like some people do.
What you are doing is amusing and explores Twilight's character well. I also like that she is growing and that the wings are coming in on Spike because of it. It is also well-written. She is falling down a slippery slope.
As for ponies eating meat, I think it is far more likely for pegasi who have regular contact with griffons to have tried meat and that a small number of them enjoy it. Unicorns in general I would think least likely to indulge, but Twilight going down this road as a scientific experiment I can truly see. I mean I tend to have a griffon owned restaurant in Cloudsdale that serves meat in my fics. It is there but it is not always used. RD and Scootaloo have had fish in one of them.
Why have you struck gold? It's a concept not many have thoroughly explored. This is a thought experiment on what would happen if Twilight experimented with meat consumption and found it palatable. It flows with the idea and you don't try to rail-road it to a conclusion. That is why it's good.
Also it's funny to see others' reactions to Twilight eating meat.
2747826
2747777
^^^
What they said.
2747643
Oh sweet Celestia... That would be hilarious... unless Flutters has a mental breakdown. Then it would be sad.
It would be intriguing if becoming an omnivore was a side-effect of bearing an Element of Harmony; bridging the gap between predator and prey. Harmony.
I really like this thing XD please continue
And what we have learned from this experience is this:
Equestrian princesses are hard, but Princess Twilivore is the hardest of them all!
Because this story contains an omnivore pony.
Well at least that is why I love this story. You don't see that very often.
Because twilight is eating meat enough said and you do it funny at that Its not a sad or dark fic which is 99.99% of all Pony eats meat fics. This one I can laugh at.
I really like this story, I also like how you have avoided getting dark with it.
I request more chapters
this is wonderful, it just keeps getting better and better
Twilight eats meat and isn't becoming changeling, vamipre, or grows to Celestia's size! Yay!
Also, she's not the only pony that enjoys meet...
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Yes.
Good.
Twilight's going to be the most non-dweeb Princess of all time
Why if this fic so popular you ask? Because this is the first multi-chapter 'ponies eat meat' fic i've seen that does it is a very humorous manner. It is such a ridiculous and surreal idea that i can't help but laugh just thinking about it and if you add your solid writing to the mix you have a winner.
So yeah, like it or not, dear author, but you just wrote something freaking awesome and some of the most hilarious things i've ever read are spur of the moment fics. Have 5/5 Spikes, cuz damn this story makes me bust a gut.
Better watch out, Twilight. That slope's getting awfully slippery. And don't worry, you can still salvage this before you get hauled before Parliament and Fluttershy gives you a fate worse than death. All you have to do is say that you researched griffon etiquette and cast an anti-nasua/taste spell before you partook of their delicious, mouth watering venison.
As for why it's popular. Original idea + Comedy - [Grimdark] = Likes/Favs.
You struck gold because it's an original idea, it's well executed, and it's amusing. Also funny and leaves me panting to see where it's going.
You know, we could always be underestimating Fluttershy here with the response to this.
She DOES have omnivorous and even carnivorous animal friends. Even the doe was killed and eaten with nothing left over and did not suffer.
Here Mr. Otter, have some nice fish.
She might be very disappointed but she will not necessarily do something extreme like blow up at Twilight and have hundreds of animals picketing her library with tiny signs and placards.
Hmm, what if there was an eventual side-effect of a pony eating meat, in that where the kanine teeth are located in humans, the teeth of the pony in a similar position would sharpen gradually and jaw gradually changes to that found in an omnivore?
Meh, worth a shot right? Love the story and I shall wait for more.
2750385
I think that, while Fluttershy understands and accepts natural carni/omnivores, she wouldn't be as accepting of Twilight, who is violating the natural order for her own gain. Had Fluttershy found out before the hunt, I think she would have been mad and disgusted for only a few minutes. Now that Twilight has actually killed something?
Those remarks about other Princesses not being able to eat meat coupled with the info that NMM can, makes me remember all those stories when Nim uses a spell on Twi during their fight and it has consequences of varying nature. Usually literary.
Well, we'll see what's... wait... then what was NightMare Moon? And how did she come to be? If Luna can't, then how Nim could?
Seems I have to stick around to find out.
If you're even going to get an idea as to how this happened.
Seriously, how is it possible that I know the story is being written on the fly(which is a major error to me) and still enjoy the hay out of it. I am normally trying to avoid those. I mean, I can understand having a general direction and major plot points while winging the rest but you make it sound as if the entirety of the story is made up on the fly. And I still like it! Yeah, it's a mystery...
Or I'm just weird like that.
Also, Twi is in serious trouble right now... poor thing...
Keep up the good work!
2750522
I'll just answer that right now, since it's not really relevant to the story. Headcannon + word of Faust says that Luna was possessed to become NMM. She wasn't entirely pony at the time. In this case, Twilight is a freak.
For your second point, This story started out as a random thought that I put on paper just for the heck of it, literally 10 minutes after I had the idea. I wasn't planning to do much with it. Then it became my most popular story... so I continued working. It just sort of took on a life of its own. I do have a vague idea of where I want to go with this (and I do have a menu planned out), but I really must sit down some time and iron out all of the details. I also need to figure out a direction for Twilight and Spike's changes.
2750561
Ah, right! The usual: started as a random fic to let creativity go a bit, ended popular. Goodness, there must be something with my head that I didn't even think of it when writing my previous comment...
Why are we even spoilering this?
So, Twi's a mutant? Now isn't that just precious! I do wonder what is she turning into, though. I mean, she's apparently growing... gotta read!
2750787
I have no idea why we are using the [spoiler] tags on this...
2750842
Well, you spoilered that one bit in the note, so I decided to follow that when talking about it.
either they freak out or they respect her
either way, I bet pony-griffin relationships improve after this.
Anyway, LOVE THIS STORY
You've approached an interesting idea, particularly from our outside perspective, you've approached it in a way that makes sense for the subject matter and the characters, and you've done it without coming off at all preachy either way on the related subjects of veganism and vegetarianism.
You write well, you write thoughtfully, and you write about something interesting. That's all you need. You don't need an outline or a rough draft for anyone- this isn't school writing or papers for a dissertation or anything.
Still written well, still looking forwards to more 'servings'. Write on!
2752165
FYI: I'm not vegetarian or vegan. It's too hard to get the proper nutrition without meat/animal products. I couldn't preach something I don't practice.
Plus, I know the joys of bacon. Joys that I want Twilight to experience.
If a human only eats plants, that's weird. It's the individual's choice and there is nothing wrong with that. (It just seems too hard for me.)
If a pony eats meat, that violates the natural order of their world. Equestrian ponies are not meant to eat meat. (Real world horses can and occasionally do. I reject your reality and substitute my own.) It's not that they can't, but their pony minds won't let them.
You struck gold because you struck gold.
(The Department of Redundancy Department says hello!)
In all seriousness, the only other well-written story I can think of that focuses on meat-eating ponies is Unnatural Selection. And it's completely different. For one thing, it's dark, while this is much more lighthearted (without being too lighthearted).
2753680
I would assume epigenetics would be a nightmare to study when there are magical influences as well as physical ones. And don't forget biology... Physics... Chemistry... Environmental sciences... At least math still works, right?
I love the story, and its well written. The only problem that stands out is the chapter length.
I'm not going to deny that i would like longer chapters for the sake of having more to read, but short chapters can hinder you as the author as well.
The reason being is that, say you write out your >2k word chapter, but as you write the next chapter you get a massively good idea as to how a scene from a previous chapter could be written or otherwise improved on, or it would allow you to put more detail and drama into an already existing scene.
Sure you can do that anyway, but that would make readers have to reread the old stuff, if they even knew you changed it.
But that's just my 2 bits.
Keep going.