The thrill of the hunt
"UGGHHH!" Twilight groaned, rolling over as Princess Luna's moon hung low in the sky. Her guest bedroom really did have a beautiful view of the gryphon kingdom. But her troubled mind made it impossible to appreciate that beauty. Regardless of how comfortable she got, sleep seemed to elude her. The guilt of her actions and the realisation that She had killed—to fill her belly no less. This only worsened her inner turmoil. On one hoof, deer were not intelligent beings, so what did it matter if she had killed it? Rolling over, the mare looked over to where Spike was sleeping, her mind plagued with guilt.
The crisp white sheets that covered her felt hot and uncomfortable kicking them away, the mare felt only slightly better. Her horn glowed a gentle violet, a candle floated over to her bedside table. Lighting the candle, the mare looked at the flickering flame, unsure of what to do. A life time of taboo was currently battling her new found love for meat. Ponies being strictly herbivores had no need for meat and as a result had come to care for the animals even looking after them,during and after winter wrap up.
It was not like Twilight was killing a pony and it improved King Grendel views on the young princess and the others. But on the other hoof, it came at the price of a creature's life, a creature that had done nothing to wrong to the mare. Was it worth ending the life of another just so she could eat?
Originally she would have said no, but then what of Gryphons, Diamond Dogs and other predators that required meat to live, what about Spike? the drake could not go back to a vegetarian diet. If he required meat anyway, what was wrong with her having some? Hunting was not something Twilight was familiar with, but with the price of importing meat and the danger of getting caught, Twilight knew that eventually both herself and spike would have to if they wished to continue their current diet. But could she kill again? Could she see the fear in an animal’s eyes as she ended it... so she could enjoy the taste of meat?
With a small snort and shake of the head Twilight vanquished these thoughts. She was being silly, she had killed the deer quickly and painlessly it was not like she had toyed with it or made it suffer. What was wrong with her eating meat? Minotaur's did not require meat to survive. Being largely bovine they could comfortably live on plants and even grass, but they still choose to eat meat. Why was it so wrong for a pony to do the same?Maybe ponies were not designed to eat meat, but their bodies were able to digest it with no ill effects.
Groaning, the mare decided that she needed a snack, something to take her mind off of her predicament. trudging down the hallway, the mare followed earlier instructions from king Grendel, leading herself to the kitchen. Pushing the door open with her snout, the mare took in the large kitchen, a graying Gryphon chopped fervently away at variety of vegetables and meats. Turning, the gryphon smiled warmly.
"Good evening your highness, what can Chef Bernard “Sharp Knife” do for you?" The bubbly chef questioned, clambering forward as Twilight gave a small apologetic smile.
"I was looking to get a snack," Twilight replied... meekly. The gryphon's eyes lit up as he gently clasped her hands."
"Please... sit, let Barnard cook for you." he smiled, pushing the alicorn down onto a tiny stool. Twilight watched with some amusement as the gryphon darted about the kitchen, pulling herbs, pans and fillets of meat. Twilight could not deny that her mouth watered at the mere sight the gryphon throwing the meat into a pan as he went to work.
"I'm sorry if this is a bother," Twilight apologized, watching as the gryphon paused. Turning, Barnard gasped dramatically, throwing a clawed hand over his chest.
"A bother... Never! Princess Twilight Sparkle, Cooking is my passion no it is, my life. Please never feel that you are a bother in my kitchen, I am always happy to cook for a guest.Now this is something I have been experimenting with and would love for you to be my how you say guinea pig. It is called Veal Forestiere, my brother recommended it to me. Thin slices of veal breaded and browned, served in a sauce of mushrooms flavored with garlic and Marsala wine, it is beautiful. I hope it is to your tastes, your highness." Barnard smiled, bowing politely as Twilight gave a thankful nod.
Digging in, the mare moaned as the snack or more appropriately full course meal, helped to ease her troubled thoughts.
“Tell me princess what is it that ails you?” Barnard questioned, pulling up a seat next to her. Pausing mid bite, Twilight swallowed what little had entered her mouth, resting her fork and knife on the plate.
“Am I really that easy to read?” "Twilight sighed in defeat. The elderly gryphon gave a small smirk as the mare groaned." “it’s silly... really. Just a conflict of morals on my part,” Twilight mumbled. “I don’t know what to do. I love eating meat and so does Spike, but my friends and my fellow princesses would be disgusted if they found out. I don't want to lose my friends but at the same time I don’t want to have to give up eating meat,” she admitted. The stress of her secret and the fear of her friends and mentor’s abandoning her plagued her thoughts, as she stabbed her fork into another tender piece of veal. Twilight had needed someone other than spike to talk to, someone that could maybe give her an answer to her plight.
“Ahhh, I see! You are pony, raised in pony society and as such have their customs, taboos and ideology. The mere thought of killing or eating meat fills you with self loathing and disgust but your love for it prevents you from simply stopping,” the kindly chief guessed. Twilight gave a feeble nod with her head resting on the counter as she sullenly ate her meal.
"What should I do?" the mare questioned, uncaring that her source of advice was coming from a gryphon she had just met.
-----------
"Frustration coursed through Twilight as she stomped down the hall the chief had despite his attempt at helping been unable to help her. She felt angry that at the Gryphon for being unhelpful, herself for being a freak and Equestria as a whole. If eating meat was not such a taboo the mare would not feel the stress that came with her secret.
"Hey flip flop! What's got you stomping around the halls like an angry hydra?" the snide voice of Gilda called from behind.
Turning Twilight spotted Gilda leaning against the door frame, observing the stressed mare. Her eyes briefly softened, and the gryphon gave a small groan. Opening her door the gryphon waved the mare inside.
Twilight approached, suspiciously eyeing the rude Gryphon as she trotted inside. Leaping onto the bed, the Gryphon seated herself... Her eyes never leaving Twilight, the mare standing awkwardly in the middle of the room.
"So whats eating you? Or I guess in your case it's the other way around." The gryphon snorted, chuckling at her own joke as Twilight growled.
"What do you care? I was not under the impression that you cared about the plight of a lame princess?" Twilight replied, suspicious of the gryphon's intentions. Gilda rolled her eyes exasperatedly, her tail flicking back and forth much like a cat. Twilight could not help but feel like the Gryphon was stalking her. Unlike her father, Gilda actually made Twilight nervous. Whilst the king was kind and very easy going, Gilda was cold and calculated if hot headed at times. Huffing at the gryphon’s lack of response, Twilight gritted her teeth as she went to leave.
"You know that Dashie tried meat once." Gilda spoke up suddenly, Twilight freezing as she turned with an incredulous look. Twilight's ears perked up, her curiosity piqued as she turned from the door, approaching the seated Gryphon. Gilda gave a small grin, examining her claws as Twilight moved closer. "Ah got your attention did I?" Gilda smirked, her voice carrying a tinge of smugness causing Twilight to grit her teeth in annoyance. "Look dork, I don't particularly like you and I know for a fact that the feeling is mutual, but what you did was pretty cool. You are a pony that not only eats meat but enjoys eating meat. But looking at you I can tell straight away that you are going through the same thing I went through when I was a chick." Twilight was shocked, for but a mere moment Gilda's voice softened a brief look of pain on her face.
"Rainbow Dash never spoke about you two before the party insident. But all Dash told us was that you both went to flight school together," Twilight spoke up. Gilda paused her head swiveling her face one of confusion.
"Never?” The gryphon whispered, a tinge of hurt in her voice. Grunting Gilda shook her head, glowering at Twilight as the mare tenses.“Yeah... well what do I care? The flipflop stabbed me in the back. I hadn't seen her in years and all it took was me losing my temper at that annoying little pink dweeb and she kicks my ass to the curb, some friend," the gryphon grumbled, having gone off topic as Twilight gave her a sour look. Biting her tongue, Twilight let the fact that Gilda had been a flank hole for most of her visit go. The gryphon had bullied and pushed ponies around her whole stay and had been nothing but unpleasant to all but Dash.
"Anyway, my first day at flight school was lame, being a gryphon I am sure you can tell that I was not exactly popular. So I found myself alone eating lunch when this pegasus comes over and sits down next to me. She starts chatting to me, asking me about what it's like to be a gryphon. So I tried to get her to leave me alone you know growled at her flashed my talons and all that but she refused to leave. Heh should have know their was something different about her the moment I saw her. Having a rainbow for a mane should have given it away” Gilda chuckled Twilight awkwardly joining in, as the Gryphon cleared her throat
“ So anyway the fill introduced herself, one Rainbow Dash and despite my attitude and attempts, refused to go away. I remember pointing my sandwich at her hoping the meat would make her leave, but to my disbelief she smirks and takes a bite out of it. Couple seconds later she is hunched over a trash can throwing up but she earned my respect that day. After that the two of us were inseparable or we were. At the time it was just us against the rest of the school. No one wanted to hang out with the rainbow freak or the monster. Turned out given her coltish attitude she was as much a social outcast as me." Gilda paused, her eyes hardening as she fixed Twilight with a menacing glare.
"The reason I am telling you this, is not because I trust you. Not even so we can be friends, I am telling you this because I know what you are going through. A predator stuck in a sheep's pen, scared that when they find out what she is... they will abandon her. Though with dash I never had that problem, she accepted me for who I was. Deep down she is still my friend, as much as I don't like it... I should atleast try and make amends by helping her dweeb friend out," Gilda smirked nastily. “So here is my advice, don't be afraid of what you are and if your friends don't accept you for who you are, were they ever your friends in the first place?" Gilda finished, leaving Twilight stunned. The brash, tom colt of a gryphon was surprisingly wise given her brash and crude nature.
'Maybe Gilda wasn't so bad after all,' Twilight sighed mentally. The gryphon preened her left wing as she gave the mare an ice cold stare.
"Right story time over get out of my room dweeb."
'Then again maybe not.'
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It continued?
Not a bad continuation, numerous typos and a lack of polish but I'll attribute it to being a rougher draft.
Congratulations on keeping to the spirit of the original. Tasty animals shouldn't be tasty if they do not want to be eaten.
4605436 But as I plan cover gems are like candy tasty and a treat but not their main diet, dragons eat gems as a snack or desert whilst meat is their primary source of food.
In need of a lot of polish but the spirit feels true to the original. The dialogue needs work. The speech it's too formal for these characters
4605607 Dude rough copy I promise you this is getting fixed as we speak but I am not going to have internet for a week or two so I am posting it now and have two proof readers going over it. Also It is far better than the first draft this is just a rough second don't panic.
Also English is not my first language, so I am sorry for mistakes but please do not nor ever even hint that I do not give a shit because that is an insult to me. I am terribly sorry that my English is not up to scratch but this story will be fixed soon and things changed.
4605568 Could you elaborate because this could be something that I could work on whilst offline for a couple weeks. If you could give an example that would be a great help thanks for the critism
4605607
"Hey guys I am moving flat tomorrow and wont have internet until the 7th of July, so this version is a rough draft please be patient and I promise this chapter will get more attention, please as it is my first chapter please leave any concerns or criticism in the comments bellow."
In light of the above, 'concerned' your comment is not. It's just mean. "Your rough draft is rough, and therefore I think it is shit."
Nice support there.
4605668 Just so we are clear you arent angry at me?
Hazzah, it Lives!
For a rough draft, this was pretty decent; the conversation between Twi and Gilda was a bit too formal, but it still works.
4605668
4605627
I'm sorry. That was rude of me. I'm just so used to not posting my junk until it's as unlike junk as it can be, that the idea of posting a rough draft is hard for me to swallow.
And no, distorted, I am not giving you grief about having English as a Second language. I have read many translated and ESL stories that have been wonderful, so I know you can do it. Your words are wonderful, even if the presentation leaves much to be desired. Since this is a rough draft, I will withdraw my judgement and wait to see the final.
Also, I'll remove my first comment to save you from others seeing it. It was a bit too harsh.
4605658
I think the formality mostly just comes from the lack of contractions, but there are many more differences between formal and informal writing than contractions. This page should describe the difference some, and it should have plenty of links/phrases .
Edit: Oh, language classes tend to teach you to speak very formally. reading Urban Dictionary would probably be a relatively fast (but dangerous) way of learning informal language, especially if you have the other reading to give names to different informalities.
4605742 The plot is sticking I just need to execute it better. The mistakes I will try to get ride of as many as possible and some of the interaction between characters will change but what you see is the chapter it just needs to be polished. I have a proof reader going though it so their is only so much I can do. At the moment
4605792 thanks will talk to you on google doc when I get the chance to might go over to my mates and filch their internet for an hour.
4605822
You're welcome. Have fun with your internet heist!
Filch... I don't think I've ever heard that word before now. Neat.
4605878 it mean steal, Scottish word to filch something. to steal something small or of little value. To filch from friends and relatives is the mark of a coward
4605874 Right Gryphon fair enough but humans, bullshit Celestia would not stand a god damn chance in hell against humans
4605896
It's also an English word apparently, I just haven't heard of it.
4605924 yeah on her world on earth she would die the moment she tried to move it also she got her ass handed to her by plants and a insect, a damn sexy one if i may say so but all the same
4605962 Dude she is a talking horse having an inner turmoil, biology has no power here.
4572050 and i got it featured twenty minutes after posting a chapter. Let the rage consume you give into your hate
4605924
She controls the Equestrian sun though, and humans have spaceships, nukes, and—if we have enough time to prepare—black holes.
4605990 Fuck that
4605936
Which is smarter, a gorilla, or a human?
Now, when scientists usually measure animal intelligence, they use proportional brain size. Human brains are physically larger than any other primate, even though we aren't the largest. Human brains use over 20% of the calories we eat, and our stomachs just aren't big enough to hold 2000 calories of raw plant matter. Also, cooked meat has 40% more available calories than raw, and cooked plants have 12% more.
Also, evolution is of the mindset "one or the other, not both." That croc has killer teeth, not killer brains. Humans have killer brains, not killer teeth.
Elephants (and whales) can afford big brains (total mass) because they are big eaters, even though their brains are proportionally (% body weight) much smaller than a human's.
Replying to a year old comment... That's interesting.
4605969 In the comment I responded to, I assumed the horses being spoken of were terrestrial. (Science Alondro has spoken!)
4606016
Here's a good TED talk to back you up. It turns out it's the number of neurons that counts though, not the relative brain size.
4606016 yay old debates
4605904 I see that you too forget that humans have no defense against magic.
Nor against being telekinetically hoisted about 50 feet into the air and dropped.
There's a reason humans are terrified of mutant powers, you know.
If there is any reason Celestia would not fare well against humans, it's because she wouldn't instantly start using her magic to slaughter them all. She'd try to 'reason' with them. And as we all know, reason works horribly when humans are in masses. Such was the premise of "Men in Black".
Now, Discord on Earth would be something spectacularly amusing to watch.
4605924 She would never kill many for the deeds of the few. She loves her little ponies, and humans would destroy her, even Chrysalis overpowered her when Celestia had the high ground. She is rather weak. In fact she might not even move the sun just rotate the earth
4606060
0-media-cdn.foolz.us/ffuuka/board/q/image/1377/40/1377409358339.png
Actually, I don't think anyone would mind Discord that much. He'd probably get a nice theme park to grow around him.
4606096 Discord in his 'evil' state liked to create lots of chaos and mayhem and torment and...
... actually, no one would even notice, except for the chocolate milk rain. Which would probably be blamed on global warming somehow.
Horses have been known to kill and eat small animals, not even counting things like the mares of Thrace. It's a terrible risk for them, however, as they lack the ability to purge and thus even the most minor cases of food poisoning are almost certain to be fatal.
Humans are subject to near-obligate carnivorism not because of calories, but because of nutrient availability. Meat is a convenient source of nutrients that plants typically can't provide; calorie density is more of a nice bonus.
And when Twilight gets back to Equestria, she shall start up an organization called PETA: Ponies for the Eating of Tasty Animals. First pony to join: Fluttershy.
Wonderful story! I love it.
I'm nervous though. I enjoy reading this but noticed that chapter seven got posted a whole year after chapter six... Any idea how far into the story we are? Great stuff by the way. I like this story. Have a like and a favorite from me. 
4606533
I just read your blog post. Ha. 
I enjoyed he new content. Thanks for reviving this! I hate seeing great stories die. That's why I was nervous in the first place, lol. 
Fuck yes, this has caught my interests, I love the idea of a pony eating meat. Nobody seems to realize that it's actually quite common, not only for Equines but other 'herbivores' as well.
4606060
We've got some pretty hefty defenses that are actually offenses. Huh, there's something off with that sentence. Anyways, what I'm saying is is that there is only one of her and a couple billion of us. She isn't omnipresent or omnipotent, so we'd find a way. Why are we talking about humans in this story?
4606136
No, The chocolate Rain would be noticed. By Nestle. More specifically, the Nestle Job Department.
I do hope you polish this a lot, since the difference in writing is almost jarring.
46060 Yeah but only a few seem to have the power to do so. We have mini guns and out number them thousands to will.
I'm not sure if I like the change. Errors everywhere and Twilight feels out of character. While in earlier chapters Twilight felt calculating and secluded, the first "UGGHHH!" felt more reminiscent of your writing style than something of the story.
more please
4606556 'Omg, he ate abird! He ate a bird! Did you see that!?'
This is great. Also, I wonder what the thrill of the hunt is like. But that deer seemed so slow, theres a huge cognitive difference between carnivores and herbivores. And the fact that that odd tidbit in this story was not false has piqued my interest even more.
Imagine breeding horses for carnivorism
Well, now Twi has some good blackmail material at least. Excellent start, I'm excited to see how this continues.
4607090 Greek mythology has a set of horses known as 'the Flesh-Eating Mares of Diomedes' (though this Diomedes should not be confused with the one who fought in the Trojan War). Diomedes used them to pull the chariot he used for both travel and battle, and it is believed that he raised his mares to be vicious flesh-eaters so that they would help him fight, biting enemies as they rode by, and devouring the injured and fallen while Diomedes dealt with someone else or watched. Capturing them was one of Hercules' legendary tasks. How he did so varies with each version of the story, but they all end with Diomedes being thrown to the mares, where he is torn limb from limb (not a dramatic cliché, actually part of the story) and eaten alive.
Given how much Greek mythology appears in this show, I wouldn't be surprised if something like this appeared in the story, even if just as how other ponies see Twilight.
4607515 Im now wondering if hunting can relieve stress in some part so I googled, and found its the opposite http://www.anth.ucsb.edu/faculty/gurven/papers/trumbleetal2014.pdf If you don't know cortisol is a stress hormone. This could be why males die younger than females actually, because they have more cortisol brought on evolutionarily. I tried to research cats playing with their prey and cortisol levels but found no results even in google scholar.
http://curiosity.discovery.com/question/why-cats-play-with-prey closest i could find really. So now imma google wrestling and cortisol lol
edit: nvm its more complicated than cortisol=stress=bad lol
There are some misspelled words and improper grammar, but most of those will probably be cleaned up by the time the draft is finished. There are also some unnecessary or misplaced quotation marks though.
Barnard's part kind of bothered me. I feel that he figured Twilight out too easily. Although I realize that he's supposed to be a wise and experienced person who has dealt with many others, but even with his knowledge of pony culture and experience as a chef, it's a bit too much for him to just guess Twilight's exact emotions. It would also be nice if we could see what kind of advice he tried to give her. The pacing doesn't quite feel right, with her asking for his help, and then immediately getting a scene break to her being angry that he couldn't help her.
The start of the next scene confused me. It says that Twilight is going down a hall, but there's no description so I just imagine a blank hall of grey stone. Suddenly, Gilda's leaning in a doorway that was apparently there the whole time. And then they're in a room and Gilda's on a bed, which seems to be hers. After re-reading the chapter, I was able to follow along this scene, but the first time left me wondering where they were. The single sentence descriptions of them moving from place to place might be hard for some readers to fully catch, it seemed to me like they just suddenly went from being in an empty hall to being in a room with a bed. It also needs more detail, so that we know what's in their environment. This works for you, since you have a mental image of what the area looks like, but once you finish the rough draft it will need many more precise descriptions, because we readers will mostly only picture what the story clearly tells us is there.
As many others have said, Gilda is a bit too formal and wordy here. I don't think she would use phrases like 'the feeling is mutual', 'to my disbelief', or 'social outcast'. She would probably describe what she means rather than use phrases to refer to those experiences. I also notice that she's suddenly saying flipflop a lot, although that's not a big deal. Just curious, but is that a common insult where you're from? In any case, I did feel that Gilda was in character and the tone felt right, just not sure about her word choice.
Octavia Harmony raises a good point though. Twilight feels really out of character here. Although anxious at times, Twilight has always kept calm and found a way to carry on. While things have gone somewhat badly for her since the last few chapters, I can't see her throwing away all her patience because things didn't go her way. It is believable that she would be upset, but she doesn't seem to be trying to control her emotions either, which just doesn't seem like her. I also have a major issue with her reaction to Gilda. That part needs a bit more detail as well, but the way it is currently written makes it seem like Twilight is afraid of the gryphon. She's faced Nightmare Moon, the Changeling army, and Sombra. She barely hesitated when Cerberus leapt into the middle of Ponyville, and while I know that this story takes place before Season 4, she was all set to go hunt down the magic-eating demon that escaped from Tartarus. I can see her being concerned about what Gilda might try to pull with her knowledge, but not being afraid of her. Twilight is out of Gilda's league and she knows it.
Overall, this is pretty good for a rough draft, but I'm hoping it gets much better when the chapter is officially finished. I hope you find this useful.
...also, now that I think about it, I haven't really considered how Discord might react to this. He would probably find it interesting for a pony to become so different from the rest, but be conflicted by Fluttershy's reaction at the same time.
4607615 But isn't that only for the actual hunting? Once the hunt is over, cortisol production would go down, reducing stress mentally and physically, allowing the body to recover and giving a sense of relief. You have to feel stressed before you can find relief from that stress after all.
And even if it is damaging to the body, most of that can be repaired automatically after the hunt, and the meat would provide nutrients to make up for the resources lost in the hunting.
4607674 Actually it said the success of the hunt also increased cortisol, not the sight of home, not some other stuff. But again cortisol is more complicated than I initially gave it credit. But it also increased testosterone. Men can lose weight faster than females, so that also hints that hunting could be causing some of the sexual differences between males and females, as carnivores tend to be lean. But some carnivores can live long times I found upon googling, its usually related more to how much predators there are that can endanger a specie's life.
Perhaps it could have been an error and the hunting elevated cortisol but they couldn't measure it until after. In which case you would be correct I suppose.
Interestingly enough, horses have been recorded more than once as being quite happy to eat meat, even if they're not adapted for it- that is, they're quite capable of being omnivores. Horses even frequently grow canines (wolf's-teeth), not something you'd expect in a herbivore's mouth! Being ponies, odds are Twilight's guilt is entirely society-based, versus biological incompatibility.
That all that protein likely does wonders for a new alicorn growing into her body is another story entirely...considering season 4, maybe Twilight's been sneaking hamburgers when nobody's looking!
4607698 Well, it would take constant observation and repeated experiments to know, and since they can't check cortisol levels during the hunt I'm guessing we lack the technology to do that level of experimentation. Chemical balancing is a gradual process, and most chemicals are designed with long delays between release and effect for long-term usage.