Je Te Vois

by Mike Dugan

Chapter 1

Je Te Vois

By Mike Dugan

Shimmering gems and fine fabrics of countless colors and hues flitted about the interior of Carousel Boutique. A particularly gleeful Rarity hummed to herself. The unicorn was sashaying about her shop, the glittering blue glow of her unicorn magic enveloping the numerous accessories.

"Oh, Opal!" she exclaimed. "I must say, this is among my best work!" Nearby, Opalescence the cat lounged atop a cushion as Rarity continued prancing about her shop. Giggling, Rarity twirled and spun about, casting her spells and piecing her creations together. She smiled with satisfaction as her work took form around her. "Indeed, the best ever!"

Suddenly, the jingle of the shopkeeper's bell caught her attention. Rarity turned and greeted her friend. "Twilight! Welcome!"

"Hi, Rarity!" Twilight Sparkle said. "Just wanted to see how–" The purple pony uttered a gasp of amazement. The interior of Carousel Boutique was festooned with dazzling banners, and striking costumes for both mares and stallions were lined up along the wall. At the center of the room the beaming Rarity stood, preening her mane proudly. "Rarity! You've outdone yourself!" Twilight exclaimed.

Rarity smiled. "Why, thank you, Twilight!" she replied. "Of course, it's nothing less than a privilege to offer my help for such an event!"

Twilight nodded. "With all this, the concert is sure to be a success! I can't believe they decided to hold the Equestrian Benefit Concert for Underprivileged Foals right here in Ponyville!"

Just then, Pinkie Pie burst into the shop. "Hey gals! Great news! Smiley agreed to host the concert, and he's gonna get us all the best seats in the house, and o-o-oh!" Pinkie marveled at the colorful decorations before her. "Pretty!"

"Why, thank you, darling! I–" Rarity's smile faltered as she noticed Pinkie turn her attention to an unlit corner of the shop, where a single dress form was hidden away.

Pinkie leaned forward, squinting to see the hidden object. "Hey, Rarity! What's that over there?" she asked. Rarity's magic abruptly yanked a curtain into place, concealing the ensemble. Pinkie blinked and looked to her friend.

Rarity prodded her mane nonchalantly, an unusually broad smile stretched across her face. "Oh, nothing, dear! Just a... a separate project I have going!" She cleared her throat. "Of course, my work for the concert takes priority!"

Twilight cocked her eyebrow at Rarity's coy behavior, but soon dismissed it. "Well, it looks like everything is coming together nicely!" she said. "Shall we start bringing everything to the town square?"

"A perfect chance to show off my best work, and do some good for little ponies!" Rarity clapped her front hooves. "Oh, what a coup!"

---

"A little more to the left, Rainbow Dash!" Applejack called out. "Little more... More... Okay, stop! Perfect!"

Rainbow Dash landed on the stage after she adjusted the banner she was setting up, and she and Applejack high-hoofed each other.

All around the stage, ponies were finishing setting up for the big concert. The performers were busy making their final preparations, while other ponies scurried about making sure the newly constructed stage was ready for the impending concert. Amidst the activity, the concert's emcee poked his head through the immense curtain facing the audience. Smiley the pegasus peered out over the vast crowd of ponies that had gathered for the event. He fidgeted with his bow tie. "Gee whiz," he remarked, "looks like we've got a full house."

Pinkie Pie hopped up to him. "Hey, sweetums!" the party pony chirped. "You all ready for the great, big, huge, giant show?"

Smiley turned to Pinkie. "Oh, sure thing, gumdrop!" he replied, tweaking his tie again. "I guess I'm just a little nervous..."

Pinkie helped straighten Smiley's tie. "You'll be fine!" she said. She nuzzled her boyfriend. "You're always a crowd-pleaser, puddin'!"

Smiley smiled and returned the embrace. "Aw, you always know what to say, snuggle-bucket!"

"You bet I do, honey-cheeks!"

"That's because you're my sweet cookie-pants!"

"Hey, lovebirds!" Rainbow Dash broke in. Pinkie Pie and Smiley turned to the stern-faced pegasus hovering above them. "You wanna get a move on? The show's about to start!" The other two ponies giggled and parted ways. Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes as she flitted away. She placed a hoof on her stomach as she did so. "Plus, I'm about to be sick..."

Rarity strung up the last of her dazzling banners, and smiled. "Ah, magnifique!" she said. She sauntered backwards, admiring her work. Not far behind her, another pony was making his way along the stage.

Rarity yelped as she bumped into a sturdy object. She wheeled around just as the heavy case the other pony was carrying thumped to the floor. "Oh! Goodness! Please, excuse me!" she exclaimed.

A bluish-purple unicorn stallion stood before Rarity. A pair of black sunglasses were perched along his snout, obscuring his eyes. He cocked his head from the sudden incident. "Whoa! Guess I didn't see you there, chère!" He ran his front hoof through his ash-colored mane and grinned wryly.

Rarity put a hoof to her chest and cleared her throat. "Oh, I do apologize! I was just so wrapped up in my work, I wasn't watching my step!" Rarity's horn began to glow. "Please, allow me." She began to levitate the case that had fallen.

The stallion held up his hoof, halting her. "No, no. I got this." His horn shimmered with a deep purple glow. He began to move his head slightly from side to side, yet nothing happened. After a moment, the case was finally enveloped in his magical grip. It hovered off the floor, then drifted to the pony's side. "Ah, aces, there you are..." the stallion said to himself.

Rarity tilted her head. The delay in the unicorn's magic was not something she had seen before. "I beg your pardon, but... are you all right?"

The stallion turned to Rarity. "Tres bien, chère. Just a little bump," he said.

Rarity peered at the unicorn. In another puzzling move, he looked not at Rarity herself as he spoke, but seemed to be scanning the space around her. She surmised he must have been admiring the banners she had just put up.

Suddenly, the stallion raised his eyebrows. "Jeepers creepers! Where are my manners? Y'all can call me Dulcet." He held out his front hoof. "Dulcet Tones."

Rarity smiled and reached out her own hoof, allowing it to be held in his. "Rarity."

Dulcet Tones pulled the mare's hoof up and kissed it. "Enchanté."

The unexpected elegance in the stallion's manner of speech made Rarity's cheeks flush. The southern twang in his voice was similar to Applejack's, but the trimmings of French mixed in were unlike anything she had heard before. "Are you from out of town?"

"Mais oui!" Dulcet answered. "I come all the way from the south land, chère! New Oreins, to be exact!"

Rarity went to respond when a golden glint caught her eye, and she looked to her new friend's cutie mark. Dulcet Tones's flank was emblazoned with the image of a saxophone, but what struck Rarity about it was its glossy sheen. The cutie mark possessed a brilliant luster almost like that of the brass instrument it represented, and Rarity's eyes sparkled as she admired the glistening mark. Breaking out of her mild trance, she turned back to Dulcet Tones. "Oh! You must be one of the performers!"

Dulcet pointed his hoof at Rarity. "Now you're on the trolley, chère!"

Rarity blinked, then tilted her head. "Beg pardon?"

The purple stallion snickered. "I mean, you're right," he explained. "I'm a jazz player. One of the best around!" He turned the case he had been carrying on its side and pried it open with his shimmering purple magic, and hauled out a shiny saxophone. "And this here's my baby!" He held the instrument in his forelegs affectionately. "We never miss a charity event!"

"Oh, that's wonderful! I must admit, this is my first big charity event." Rarity stepped aside to allow her new friend a clear look at her works. "What do you think?"

"Well, I'm sure you're the bee's knees, chère," Dulcet replied. "What do you do? Do you sing, or... ?"

Rarity gestured with her foreleg to the banners she had set up only moments ago. "No, no. I'm helping with the décor."

Dulcet Tones made a face like he had just received bad news. He blushed slightly and grinned. "Aw, darlin', I'm sorry. Hey, I bet your stuff is straight from the fridge!"

Rarity cocked her eyebrow. "Uh... I'm sorry?"

"I mean your stuff is cool, doll!" Dulcet laughed. "You know, like from the fridge!"

"Oh!" Rarity's face brightened. "Thank you! I think!"

Performers moved about, taking their places. Dulcet's ears twitched as the bustle of activity caught his attention. "Land sakes, sounds like the show is startin' up!"

Rarity looked around to see the lights dimming. "Oh dear! I'm so sorry we must part ways so soon!" She took a step closer to Dulcet. "I must say, it's so nice to meet another creative pony! I'd very much like to see you again!"

Dulcet nodded. "Gosh, I'd like that too, Rarity." He quickly summoned his instrument case back to his side. "Whoa, I better get a wiggle on! It was a real pleasure meetin' you, darlin'!"

Rarity smiled pleasantly. "Likewise! I look forward to hearing you play!"

Dulcet Tones bowed politely to her. He tucked his glinting saxophone back into its case, then departed. "Au revoir, Miss Rarity!"

Rarity waved farewell to her new friend, then made her way off the stage. A girlish laugh escaped her as she did so. "Wiggle..."

---

Day turned into evening in Ponyville, the first day of the concert neared its close, and Rarity and her friends had been enjoying the show from their exclusive seats. So far all of performances had gone off without any problems. Rarity, however, was beginning to feel uneasy. The charming unicorn she had met hours earlier had not yet taken the stage. She feared Dulcet Tones was not scheduled for his appearance that night. But then, her ears twitched as she heard Smiley make the introduction for the final performance of the evening.

"All right, everypony!" Smiley announced. "We've had a lot of fun tonight, but it's time to wrap things up. I'd like you all to meet my friend, Dulcet Tones!"

Rarity's eyes widened. She sat up as she at last caught a glimpse of the charming stallion take the stage, along with a few other musicians. Rarity noticed that, as Dulcet approached the microphone, he repeated his odd behavior from before. He seemed to warm up his magic before it settled on the object he intended to manipulate, rather than instantly grasp it. Upon doing so, he adjusted the mic, pulled out his signature saxophone, and introduced himself.

"Hello. I'm Dulcet Tones." Dulcet put the saxophone to his lips, and began to play.

---

Hours had passed, the first night of the benefit concert had long since ended, and Ponyville had settled down for the night. At Carousel Boutique, however, one pony was still as alert as she had been since the day had begun.

Rarity was sprawled out on her bed, clad in a silk robe, her chin propped on her front hoof. She idly hummed a bit of the song Dulcet Tones had played earlier that evening, as her back hooves tilted back and forth.

"Oh, Opal!" she sighed. "I'd never heard anything like that before!" The white unicorn rolled over on her side, causing her feline companion to scramble out of the way. Rarity giggled and summoned another piece of candy to her mouth from the box of chocolates resting next to her.

"It was like... like..." Rarity thought a moment as she tried to conjure the right words. Her eyes glanced around her bedroom at the elaborate décor she surrounded herself with. "Like jewels you could hear! Like colors with sound!" Rarity sat up with an excited gasp. "I've got to see him again! Very soon! But how–"

Rarity's ears twitched. Taking a moment to listen, she turned her head to the open window leading to her balcony. A heavenly melody, not unlike the one she had enjoyed earlier that evening, had caught her attention. A delighted smile crossed the mare's face.

Rarity leaped from her bed and trotted out to her stoop. She put her front hooves on the edge of the balustrade, throwing her head from side to side as she sought out the source of the soothing music. Looking out across the town square, Rarity's sharp eyes settled upon the deserted stage of the concert. Seated along the edge of the stage, Rarity perceived a figure, gripping a saxophone in its forelegs. "Dulcet Tones!" she breathed.

Turning about, she galloped out of her bedchamber and dashed downstairs, eager to reunite with her new friend. "I must go to him!" Rarity exclaimed to herself. Just as she approached the front door of her boutique, she stopped dead in her tracks and looked at herself. She furrowed her brow with audible disgust at the open robe still draped over her. "Oh, but not like this!" she spat.

Rarity whipped the garment off herself with her magic, then frantically pored over the assortment of outfits lined along the racks in the workroom. Finding nothing that seemed appealing enough, the demure pony turned her head to the dimly lit corner that she had curtained off earlier. Rarity's horn glowed, casting a spell to draw the curtain back. Slowly, she stepped toward the special project she had been working on since she was first commissioned to help with the concert.

A stunning new gown, crafted from a glittering blue cloth almost as fine as the elegant unicorn's own ethereal magic, was fitted upon the hidden dress form. A simple, silver tiara, with matching earrings, were perched along the mannequin's head, and a set of jewel-studded slippers completed the outfit. Rarity smiled. "Well, I was saving this for the concert's finale..." she muttered. Casting a small spell, she summoned the tiara to her forehead. "But, oh! What better time to unveil my latest creation than now!"

---

Dulcet Tones was seated along the edge of the stage, slowly swaying as he continued weaving his melody. On the ground below him, a unicorn mare paced up to him, smiling gently as she did so.

Rarity stood before the pony musician, adorned in her newest ensemble. The exquisite dress was contoured to her delicate form perfectly, and the silver tiara complemented her finely polished horn as if it were magic itself. Her heart fluttered as she listened to Dulcet. The music he was playing was even more heavenly than the piece he had performed at the concert.

The night sky was clear, allowing the full moon to shine down on the two ponies. Rarity's new dress caught the silvery light, making it even more radiant than ever. Rarity took note of the sublime lighting as she continued listening to Dulcet play. She uttered a contented sigh. His music along with her newest ensemble fit perfectly.

After a while, Dulcet Tones finished his song and moved the saxophone away from his mouth. Seeing he was finished, Rarity stamped her front hooves in applause.

Dulcet nodded. "Why thank you, music lover!"

"Bravo! Oh, that was simply marvelous!" Rarity cheered.

Dulcet gasped. "Oh it's you, chère!"

"What?" Rarity looked bewildered. "Why, of course. Didn't you recognize me?"

"Well I do now!" Dulcet Tones tucked his saxophone back into its case.

Rarity began to protest, "I... But... I was standing right in front of you the whole time, I..." She shook her head. "Well, no matter. I'm just so happy I was able to see you again!"

Dulcet made his way down to Rarity's level. "Nice bumpin' into you again, too, doll! I wasn't keeping you up with all my caterwaulin', was I?"

Rarity shook her head earnestly. "Oh, no, no, no!" she exclaimed. "I adore your music! It's nothing less than art!" She preened her mane and batted her eyes. "In fact, I was so impressed, I thought you might like to experience one of my own creative endeavors?" Rarity struck an elegant pose, her opulent gown rippling as she did so.

Dulcet Tones paused. "So, what is it?"

Tittering, Rarity answered him. "Don't be silly! It's my latest creation!" Rarity was practically dancing before Dulcet now. "One of my best yet!"

Dulcet Tones said nothing as the sound of fluttering cloth hit his ears. He made a face as if Rarity had just insulted him. "Chère, I hope you're just talkin' 'bout that perfume you got on..."

"Well, that's part of it, to be sure," Rarity replied. "But, see how the light catches the fabric just so!" She balanced on the tip of her hind hoof, and twirled around with a giggle. "Isn't it just divine?"

Dulcet Tones's jaw fell open. He stammered for a moment. "What the... Wait, hold up! You're serious with me?"

Rarity ceased her prancing, looking to the purple stallion with bemusement. "But of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

Stamping his front hoof on the ground, Dulcet Tones burst into laughter. "Good gravy, doll! I thought you was pullin' my leg!"

Rarity put a hoof to her chest. "Why, whatever do you mean?"

"For real? You really haven't figured it out yet?" Dulcet said with disbelief. Rarity shook her head. The southern stallion took her silence as confirmation to his question, as he made his startling revelation.

"Rarity, I'm blind."

Rarity's blood ran cold. Her hind legs began to tremble. Her ears fell as she took a step backward. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

Dulcet Tones looked concerned, as he had not yet heard a reply from his friend. "You all right, chère? You still with me?"

"Blind?" Rarity gasped. "You mean... you can't see? Anything?"

Dulcet simply smirked. "'S what 'blind' means, don't it?"

Rarity's heart was racing now. She struggled to collect her thoughts and regain her composure. "Oh, y-yes, I suppose it does." Her throat felt dry. "How long? I mean, how long have you been... this way?"

The purple stallion shrugged casually. "All my days."

Rarity felt a pit in her stomach. "Oh... Oh, dear. Dulcet, I..." She struggled to think of the right words. "I'm so very sorry!"

Dulcet Tones waved his foreleg in a reassuring gesture. "Aw, hey, don't sweat it, doll. It was just a mistake. I'm just glad you weren't tryin' to razz me! I–"

"No, no!" Rarity cut in. "I mean, I'm so sorry about your... your condition!"

"Rarity, it's no big deal, I've dealt with it all my life," Dulcet explained. "It's nothing I can't handle."

Rarity began fanning herself with her front hoof. "Oh! Oh, uh, of course! I, uh, I mean of course you can h-h-handle it! Silly me!" Rarity stammered for a moment. "Goodness! Look at the time! I really must be–" She was interrupted by a sudden knot in her throat, then looked at herself and the striking ensemble she wore. Tears pricked her eyes. "Oh!" The distraught Rarity spun around, and galloped away.

Dulcet Tones reached up with his foreleg. "Rarity?" He frowned when no reply came. "Aw, chère..."

---

Rarity burst in through the front door of her boutique. Her heart pounded as she bolted through the shop's foyer, and up the stairs to her bedroom. Reaching her chamber, she shut the door behind her and fell against it. She slowly slid down to the floor, shaking her head. Rarity summoned the silver tiara to her front hoof, and turned it over a few times. The perfectly smooth surface glinted in her eyes. She sighed, and let the ornament clatter to the floor.

"Oh dear..." she sighed. "Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear..."

To Be Continued...

Comments

[Shock and Awe]

Rarity! That was really rude

[Lium]

Gee, that OC sure does look a lot like Spike...

[Umachan]

Just a word, if you're intending on using foreign type phrases in your stories can you at least use them properly?

Cher is used if you're referring to a man. For a woman you'd use "chere" or the more common "cherie".
And it's "enchante" - not "au chante" which would translate out poorly to "at sings".

Beyond that it's interesting so far. This deserves a watch.
2529715

Come on, give the guy props for dropping a Chekhov's Gun CORRECTLY. You don't notice it really until it comes up later.

Actually, it wasn't that big a reveal if you happen to read French. From that and the picture it was a little obvious from the start.

[paul]

2529715
+1 - I do not get - why downvote?
Although I suppose that Dulcet Tones coloration could be the reason - someone could expect another Spike fic and be disappointed enough to downvote.

2 author:
May be it would be better if you put a note in description, something like "It is NOT Spike&Rarity fic."
Anyway the story is good and I hope you will continue it regardless of downvoters.

[Mike Dugan]

2530037
Oh, thanks for the advice. I'll make the appropriate changes.
And thank you for thinking the story is interesting!

[Mike Dugan]

2530758
Thanks, man. Yeah, you're probably right about that note in the description. I'm probably going to do some other stuff for a while before I return to this one.

[paul]

2531538
The fact that I personally do not like any of mentioned by you pairings does not make me to downvote story with one either (I will simply ignore it).
But I could not think of any other reason for so many downvotes.
"Pink With Your Heart" has completely different upvote/downvote ratio, so I personally think that there should be some trigger for such behavior.
False expectations could be the one.
'when she meets a pony' tells nothing because he could be pony from Rarity POV etc.
What we have here - cover picture with Rarity + pony in Spike's colors & romance tag - someone could simply skip the description. To be true I half expected (while hoped that in will not happen) for Spike to pop somewhere in the story.
I doubt that adding note to avoid confusion could make things worse.
And since downvoters do not leave comments - we will not know true reason anyway.

[Umachan]

2531499
No problem. Advice is free. What you decide to do with it however is your business.

2531528
Well, this is an international site and while it's not my native tongue it is something I've picked up over the years. It's also given me some great success with the ladies so I'm not complaining. You whisper anything in French into her ear, doesn't matter what it is, just make it sound good and she's putty in your hands.

Maybe so, but also when we meet him for the first time and he bobs his head back and forth before picking up his bag or whatever is what gave it away for me. That's when the title and the dark sunglasses made sense.

After all when translated, the title reads, "I see you". This could have multiple meanings but it was that moment that told me of his affliction. Unfair advantage? Maybe. Didn't take away from the story as far as I was concerned. As I told the author, this deserves a watch and a thumbs up.

[paul]

2531538
2531507
You know I checked my notes and reread announce message which Mike Dugan sent to his followers:
There is only text "Everypony knows Rarity is the best when it comes to visual flare! But what does she do when she meets a pony who makes her look beyond that?" and cover picture.
Message sounds very similar to typical Spike&Rarity story description (no, I am not going to use shipping acronyms).
It could mislead if one is fan of Spike&Rarity and is looking for such fics.
He could jump directly to the story and found OC instead of Spike.

[paul]

2531507
I'm probably going to do some other stuff for a while before I return to this one.
I hope it will not take half a year before you return to this story

[paul]

2531655
author can put whatever he wants there
As well as I can discuss in the comments possible reasons for downvoting the story and use or not use acronyms or abbreviations.
Keep it calm, buddy.

[Ultra-the-HedgeToaster]

Read it now - and you got my upvote and fav.

Sorry to see that your story got off on the wrong hoof.

Yeah, I gotta agree with people here, probably a case of audience expecting one thing from the preview image and then getting something else, can't say I'd know any other reason for it.

Well, I don't know what has been edited since the initial release, but it certainly seems a good read to me.
Plus, oh hey, it's set in the same continuity as "Pink with your heart", I liked that one too!
...maybe you could point that out in the description, or possibly link this story in "Pink with your Heart"...? It would automatically give people who liked one story a bit of an incentive to maybe also read the other.

Of course, as of right now, the up/down vote ratio is 8 to 10 in favor of downvotes ... and when people see that they're more likely to just walk away, err...

Ehhh, okay, best idea I got there is to ask your subscribers to "give the story another chance!" and "it was downvoted for the wrong reasons!" and such, err. Possibly with a rather blatant blog-title, too, such as "If you liked 'Pink with your heart', you'll like this one".
Although I must admit that's... uhm... a tinsy-tiny-winy little bit awkward.

As for the story's big twist - yeah, I totally didn't see it coming until shortly before the actual revelation.
I applaude you, good sir! (Then again, I'm no good at French, so if there are any hints there, I am unaware of those. )

I certainly do find the idea most interesting; Now here's somepony - a creative somepony, no less - who literally CAN'T apprechiate Rarity's own art.
Now that's some cause for inner conflict and obstacles to be overcome right there.

I hope the story gets some more positive reactions in the future, it'd be a shame to let such an idea go to waste.

[Mike Dugan]

2551300
Hey, thanks for the vote of confidence. Yeah, I was a little bummed about this one's reception. I think it was the initial title image I had. I hadn't noticed Dulcet's color scheme was way, way too similar to Spike's until after others started pointing that out to me.

To be honest, I was going for Mardis Gras colors, but I have been considering tweaking the story so that his colors are different. If anyone has a suggestion, I'm totally open. I was thinking something like an iridescent purple mane and tail with a smoky grey coat, but I fear that scheme might be too similar to Rarity's own.

Speaking of Pink With Your Heart, I have been looking to rework that story rather considerably recently, and develop it more thoroughly. (My goal is to get something worthy of an Equestria Daily submission.) Maybe if I do that, I can work in a link to this story, help it along a little.

Plus, there's always the follow-up chapter to this, that might boost things a little.

[RadBunny]

hmmm. I'll be watching this one......

[-Brutus]

Nice start! Next chapter asap please? :)

[Idylia]

Oh, wow. I didn't ever think to look this up on FimFiction until now, and to see it has this many downvotes is depressing to say the least. I can glean from the comments that it was a misunderstanding of sorts, but still.

[-Brutus]

Next chapter pls? :)

[Forrest Hunt]

I like it. Very much so.

[SabrinaJ]

please write the next chapter soon Please I'm loving the magix

[Ultra-the-HedgeToaster]

Hey, just figured that with the new "sequel"-system in place you could easily link this story to "Pink with your heart". Both are set in the same continuity, after all.

That way, this story may gather some more attention over time as people reading "Pink with your heart" are subtly nudged to maybe also check out this one.

Plus, I doubt any would think ill of you if you posted a journal linked to "Pink with your heart" through the new "related story"-option on the journal page mentioning its "sequel", and in a half-sentence explaining away why it was so ill received at the time.

This in turn might eventually balance out the undeserved downvotes, given the proper audience.

See it not as asking for upvotes, but as informing people who liked the first story that there is a sequel.

[Oh the humanity]

Not sure what caused the bad publicity, I think it's a well-written story with an interesting premise. I don't even like Rarity that much and I was still captivated.

Please continue writing when you happen to have the time.

[Mike Dugan]

4751166
Thanks for the sympathy. Yeah, it's a bummer, because I really think I have something here.
My theory is that, when I first posted this chapter, I had this utterly putrid title image for it. Seriously, one of the worst things that's ever happened to humanity.
Okay, I exaggerate a tad, but it was pretty bad. I've since replaced it with an infinitely superior version, as you can see, but by then the damage had been done. And let's face it, we are a visual bunch, so when that first visual cue is so deterring, it spells disaster for the whole shebang. It's a shame, but that's how it goes.

[Oh the humanity]

4754866
Thanks for taking the time to write a reply, much apprecitated!

Maybe with a 2nd chapter out you'd draw in more new readers who don't know about that old shame of yours? It would be a shame to leave this story unfinished just because of a few undeserved downvotes!

[StarryCandy]

UPDATE! NOW!!!

[ForestTrails482]

This is the second story I've read where Rarity falls for a blind stallion, and this story is pretty good.