Will those Yaks never learn to behave?

Twilight has no idea how to handle the destructive, angry, and whiney attitudes of the Yak delegates when they come to town. She's tried being nice, she's tried giving everything they ask for, but nothing seems to make them happy. As a last resort she turns to her...er...friend Anon for advice.
Lucky for her, he has memories of community building from back when he was in a frat in college. Surely, what works on dumb new pledges will work on yaks, right?

-written drunk, should be read drunk too -

Anon has never been very good at making friends, especially with other girls. Sure, she likes doing some girly things, but a spa day isn't exactly her idea of fun. Still, in an attempt to forge new bonds, she ventures out with Rarity and Fluttershy to try to have fun.

Awkwardness, discomfort, and a lesson on human anatomy ensues, but will Anon still have her newfound friendship at the end of the day? Or is there something else bothering her rather than the usual shyness?

Warning: Not a usual Anonpencil wtf comedy.

Mrs. Cake's cheating ways were bound to catch up with her someday, and it seems this day has come. Without her husband there, she's found she cannot do anything right, including cooking. Unfortunately for Anon, he's gotten caught up in this, and now all he can do is try to offer a little comfort and reassurance to the sobbing pony.

Comfort doesn't exactly come naturally to Anon, though. And what she's asking of him is a little hard to stomach.

Caffeine is one hell of a drug.

Anon knows it, misses it, needs it. He's been without it so long that his body doesn't even know what to do with it anymore, but that won't stop him from ODing on it given the chance. God have mercy on anyone who gets in his way when the rush takes over.

Or anything.