Combo blog: headstone unveiling, minor non-book update, Postal Dropbox Adventures #6, advent calendar update, The Amazon Christmas Wishlist Of Much Vacancy, & Random Kickstarter Link · 7:08pm Nov 24th, 2021
A Bunch Of Stuff Estee's Been Putting Off Talking About. Randomly grouped.
Let's start with the headstone unveiling for my mother's grave. That was this past Sunday, and... it could have been in June, or August, or on a lot of dates before that. But covid has a number of ripple effects, and some are less subtle than others. When it comes to the memorial marker market? There's something of a backup.
I'm not sure I've really talked about where she's buried. I know I told you about how she got there: that I couldn't donate her body as a medical cadaver -- her first wish, also knocked out by covid because when it comes to corpses, the students have plenty and to spare -- leaving us in need of a site. It's a faith cemetery, the extended family had to put in a bribe to have her there, and she's as close to her favorite sister as the plots allow. I've discussed all of that.
However, I can't remember if I mentioned the part where reaching the grave is two and a half hours each way.
It's a long haul, and it'll be especially rough in the winter. I'm not sure I'll be able to go back before spring. I want to visit at least one per season, but... I also don't know how long I'll be in this area. Remember, if the lawsuit comes through in her -- our favor and there's any settlement at all, my first priority is to move. And I don't know where I'm going. I need lower rent, and... I heard that Gary, Indiana was voted Most Depressing City In America and immediately looked up the rental costs. Because if no one wants to live there, then the rent has to be cheap -- right?
...well, it's less than what I'm paying now.
Five hours roundtrip to visit the grave, if there's no stops.
The ceremony was about eighteen minutes, and roughly a dozen people showed up.
I wasn't expecting a big turnout. (It would have been a little better in June.) I did wind up with some anger about the attendance, because two of her friends had promised they'd come: no-shows. This would normally give me the chance to talk about the mysteries of Dominican Time again, but... I haven't tried to contact them since Sunday. They may have had a legitimate reason for not coming. I'm just too frustrated to find out what it is.
The cemetery set out chairs.
There were four of them.
They were basic high school gym folding chairs, they were on soft soil, along a hill, and when anyone tried to sit on one, the legs went backwards and down.
Who was there? I went up with a friend. Her surviving siblings came, along with a few cousins. And... that was it. There was no religious figure for this one. Her brother passed out copies of the ceremony, and we all mumbled together.
I had to give a speech. The eulogy. I was asked to keep it under five minutes, and... I can't tell you exactly what I said. I talked about her stubbornness. The way she tried to mold the world so that it would fit her vision. But it was mostly about memory. I focused on that one phone cal which came a few days after her death. The customer who'd gotten her business card once, and held onto it for years until the next gift was needed.
Because people didn't forget my mother.
That wasn't always to her benefit. She crafted gifts, and sometimes she crafted enemies. But... people remembered her kindness, the way she always tried to offer some level of advice or assistance in times of trouble. Every time I called someone after her death, the line stayed active for at least half an hour. Even if they hadn't seen her for years. It all came surging back.
No one's truly dead as long as their name's still spoken. And in that sense, she'll outlive me.
I like the work on the stone. It's fairly basic, but stylish. Not marble, because marble doesn't last. And I picked out the epitaph.
It's one word.
Unforgettable
I can so write short.
Eighteen minutes. (I'm told my speech was well-received. By one person, who was probably lying.) Then everyone else left. I braced the chairs, my friend sat with me for a while, and...
My grandmother is on that hill.
My grandfather. He died four years before I was born.
One uncle passed when I was two. No memories.
Some of her other siblings. She was one of nine. There are four left.
In the sense of my corpse's fate, I don't know what will happen when I die. I'm pretty sure I'm not going to have the extended family gift me with a plot, or a stone. I might be lucky to top out at a jar.
If there was a ceremony, then there won't be a dozen people. I'd be surprised to get three.
Place my ashes in the cigarette bin outside a convention? Or ask my baseball team to slowly pour them into the mix for the pitcher's mound, so they can let me down one more time?
I have been offered help with formatting the first group of stories for print, in the hopes that my watching it happen will somehow help me learn how to do it.
I appreciate the thought. I may engage in some torment by going through it. And then I still won't be able to use the program myself, but hey, torment.
Still don't have a place to print or sell.
IndieGoGo continues to be a really bad idea. And I don't want to talk about Russia.
Background Pony barely got through Russia. Skirts I ain't.
So the general theme of this blog seems to be tilting towards torture. Mostly self-inflicted, but let's give everyone else a chance.
Because my postal dropbox address is still pinned at #p-o-boxing in the Discord server. And as the DELWMG comments keep demonstrating, no one can go after you like the people who care...
And before we go any further: no matter what happens between now and the about-to-say-it date, this is the last unboxing until December 25th. The one exception will be if I suspect an advent calendar -- which still means all openings cut out after 12/1. (Obviously if nothing appears, this will be an easy vow to keep.) I haven't done a Christmas in... a while. Let's leave it at that.
But in this case? The first present goes to you. You, the one reading this right now. Because not only did someone torture me -- they found a way to make that pain into Stage One. The next step goes to you.
And you're a sadist.
Of course you're a sadist. Look where you are...
So, in order:
(It was the last item unboxed on that night. If you're ready to plot out the pain, feel free to skip ahead.)
Bag-confused plushies can be confusing.
A pair of three-toed feet...
I'll just open the bag.
All of these tiny little fine hairs.
It's like a Persian which hasn't started shredding yet.
What is this?
Black and red, two legs...
Oh, Shadow. We never wanted to think about what you might have slept with.
Gotta bend 'em all!
(I am told I will need to use needlenose pliers, some very strong tweezers, and a lot of patience.)
This is the part where I hope people pay attention. Because someone was paying attention, I didn't know it at the time, and... sometimes, tears are the only reasonable response.
But I also don't recommend things very often.
It's probably new to most of you. (A few may know of the artist. Apparently she's founded memes a few times, possibly by accident.) And that means:
So... there's a webcomic. It's complete. When I first discovered it, I read the whole thing in one day. And afterwards... there was a Kickstarter, for a hardcover omnibus edition. I missed that by several years. And I would have gone in on it, because hardcopy. Something to hold. I've seen it pop up on eBay a few times, but... hundreds of dollars.
I talked about that comic in the Discord server. The little frustration over never being able to get my hands on it. And no one went after the hardcover. I'm thankful for that, because ye gawds.
Turns out there's a set of six paperbacks.
I cried.
It was an anonymous gift. I don't know who to thank. Just know that I am grateful, I never expected anything like this, and...
...time to pass some of it on.
I don't recommend things very often.
Give it a few pages. Please.
It's not very often that you see a character who's effectively weaponized practicality.
...we seem to have encountered an error. It's my mother who would spend three days tying up the kitchen with making Sicilian rice balls...
The birds get the Peaches & Cream.
No one eats the Peaches & Cream.
...could send it to Admiral Biscuit.
It is his fault.
(Old FIMFic joke. Someone will explain it in the comments. Or not.)
Here are two words which should never be put together.
"Tactical spork."
The key is a Horcrux.
Explains why it keeps getting lost.
(I've actually been thinking about ordering a keychain mascot. From Japan. A dragon of sorts. And on the day when I am both incredibly stupid and have a hundred dollars to waste with no better ideas about what to do with it because see incredibly stupid, it may happen.)
The Depressing Movie Shelf now gets an accompanying Depressing Book Club.
What, no one had access to The Denial Of Death?
It just isn't an unboxing unless I get something cursed.
It's looking at me.
I think it can hear you.
Minor spoiler for the next section. I did ask people for advent calendar ideas...
Expecto Notecards!
Speaking of the Depressing Movie Shelf:
This is going to be a rough one for me. It could be argued that I know too much about this movie to easily watch it. But it was never meant as an easy watch.
Besides, I just went through Space Jam II. The torture scene will feel familiar.
You don't need CGI. You need a script from one of that generation's strongest authors and absolute commitment to the idea.
Watch the movie. But if at all possible? Read the book.
And then there was pain.
Amazon-sent, whatever it is.
So let's see...
...yes, that's another box inside.
Just felt the cardboard.
...
...oh, look.
Plain.
Brown.
Box.
How appropriate.
Because there are no pictures.
No text.
At least, not for the full description of what's inside.
We have a five-word death sentence.
The last three are Made In China.
The first two define the item.
So this is not a WHAT.
It was already a WHY.
But we now move into a new category.
Body Pillow.
WHO?
I am... not happy. There are two reasons for this. I spent a good part of a convention dodging past the body pillow booth. I don't get body pillows and if you do? Fine. I don't. My not getting it is somewhat known, and thus this.
But there's a second problem.
There is a pillow.
There is no case.
And at least one of you sadists is now picking out a case.
*mutter*
...anyway, advent calendars. As of this moment, there are three in the apartment. You just saw one of them. Let me introduce you to the other two.
Because we went Marvel last year, so... why not? And for the last (and very much least):
This one has already proven itself to be a horrible mistake. It was overpriced, it is a flat piece of cardboard with plastic bags sticking out of slots, and it was shipped in a way which allowed most of those bags to dump themselves out.
...ever try stuffing clear baggies into a cardboard backer without looking at any of them?
A phone call led to the company offering a shipping & handling refund, along with sending me the intended baggie order -- which I can't look at until after the 24th, because then I'd know just what's in there. As-is, I now suspect their profit margin is 99.9999%. Because y'know, shrink wrap just takes too much out of that.
*sigh*
So if nothing else arrives (and my own hunt is done, but the dropbox may have a surprise lurking somewhere), those are our calendars for advent season. I will open one window on each per night starting on December 1st, live in the Discord server. (A new channel may be started for this, or we'll just use #general again.) Why? Because people seemed to enjoy it the first time.
And as said, if you do something dumb twice, it becomes tradition.
(Schedule to be announced before the first window is cracked. As this is a global community, I can't hope to find a time which is good for everyone.)
Which brings us to my Amazon Wishlist. People have been telling me to update it for the holidays. Even with silly things. (I tend to stick to a breakdown of Things I Need, Things I Like, and Things Which Are Just That Stupid. The categories sometimes become confused.) And as of this posting? I haven't put a new item on there in a few weeks. I'm going to try and do so today and tomorrow, but -- I've largely been drawing blanks. And I don't always feel right with putting things on there, or having a wishlist at all, and asking y'all to make suggestions is both pointless and begging for pain.
...anyway, I'll try to get six new items up before Black Friday starts.
Somehow.
I don't expect. I don't ask. I welcome all arrivals, even the torturing ones. At least until they're opened.
I told you where the address is pinned.
Postcards are always welcome.
Winter Holiday Of Your Choice Cards are also nice.
And lastly, the threatened Random Kickstarter Link:
Who wants to help open a new graphic novel shop?
My inner Cerea has informed me that if Americans can get some actual culture through imported French albums, it'll be worth it.
See you after Christmas for the last unboxing of the year.
Otherwise, it'll be the IndieGoGo campaign link.
Goal will be $200,000.
Each.
(Never steal anything small...)
As apparently the first person here, it equally apparently falls to me to break silence to note, very quickly, that body pillows apparently are not just a thing invented solely for... The purposes for which they are renowned at fan-cons, but that The General Populace uses them (for reasons of support and such, I dimly recall it being noted among those as being useful for some pregnant women) without the necessity of having... waifus/husbandos et al on them. Granted, I am not versed well enough to know if there is a difference, but what you may have might just be basically, like, a long pillow which may be just generally sort of useful.
Also, as daft as sporks might sound, there are genuine uses for them - my Dad cycles (and raft-cycles) and has one or two in his kit, since it saves weight. "Tactical spork" is actually likely a lot more useful than it sounds if you, y'know, actually go places outdoors and such.
Usefulness To Estee in both cases, of course, could be rather more limited, granted.
You could just put a normal one color case on the pillow. Good quality ones can be comfy. And who doesn't like making pillow/blanket nests in winter?
Lets be honest here. If you didn't want to have one of the sadists actually pick one and send it to you you wouldn't be posting that evaluation. I both loath and anxiously await what you will receive.
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I've been listing all received items, regardless of personal agony inflicted.
And if I hadn't, the giver would.
Well, since you like MonMusu, there's always this one! Probably also need a different pillow for it, though.
shutupandtakemyyen.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/7-Meter-Monster-Musume-Body-Pillow-Cover-600x600.jpg
5610772 At least one? Try all. We know this bunch.
Tactical spork? Heck, a real macho gift would be a Correia Tactical Mellonballer. (Preferably embossed with the MHI logo) Practical and tactical.
Digger is absolutely fantastic, and everyone should read it.
I showed my sister the tactical spork. She was immediately, intensely jealous and showed me a picture of the hatchet she'd gotten herself recently.
Let's just say there's a market for it.
I, myself, have a body pillow.
Wait, come back!
Surely intended for pregnant women, I bought mine at a big chain store, shortened it a little and added some extra wadding to firm it up, and sewed a plain sleeve for it out of actual linen because the summers here make me sweat - the sleeve is plain off-white creme and I have zero plans to adorn it. (the color makes the blood stains show up better.) (no blood on it yet.)
In my little house of occupancy two-thirds, I have a loveseat doubling as a couch. I got it my first week there for like 20USD, missing a back cushion. It still has no back cushion. However, the body pillow can double as a back cushion when I want to sit and lean back (I don't do this often). The pillow, 'couch', and I are also just about perfectly sized for me to place a bed pillow against the arm rest, curl up on my side with my back pressed against the back and the body pillow all along my front, and that configuration has soothed me through a lot of low points.
I don't imagine it's anyone, I don't imagine it's anything... it's a thing to hold close and nothing more. Sometimes it's exactly enough.
Digger(-of-unnecessarily-convoluted-tunnels). Yes, a fantastic TRULY ORIGINAL (web)comic. I think I reread it for the third time only a few months back. Remember tunnel seventeen!
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I'm mildly jealous. I want a tactical spork. I don't really have a use but it's a pretty funny piece and if I bring it to DnD night I'm sure it'll get a laugh.
UrsulaV is a great writer, no matter which name you’re reading her under. Highly recommend (she also uses T. Kingfisher, how I found her).
Body pillows do have more uses than some of the niche covers for them suggest. I really miss my C-shaped one, it helped keep my shoulders from subluxing at night, and my back as straight as it can be (or my legs elevated during bad edema flares).
Straight ones are more difficult to wrangle, but still help w/ back/knee/leg pain for a lot of people!
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I also have a body pillow made for pregnant women. Turns out that pillows made for people in one of the most uncomfortable conditions are really comfy. Mine is built to curl and twist different ways so it can be used for upper/lower/full back support, but...yeah, I've had plain, gray body pillows just for comfort when sleeping. Might be less useful if you're a flat-back only sleeper, but on your side? Really great.
I am tempted to list the most cursed potential coverings, though I doubt anybody needs my help in that department.
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I remember back in the 1970s, post Vietnam War they were trying to repurpose war plants.
Saw an ad for napalm tipped matches.
WHEN DID THE CARL HIAASEN BOOK GET PUBLISHED?! He's one of my all-time favorite authors! I'm pissed that I missed one of his releases! I may have to stalk Amazon to buy my own copy.
His brother, Rob, was one of the victims of the Capital Gazette shooting in Annapolis, Md., a few years ago. Whenever I think of it, it renews my vow to not cross the street to piss on Donald Trump if I saw him on fire. He's the one who stirred that psychopath into shooting people who were doing their jobs.
You missed the joke. You're supposed to ask four members of your favorite team to act as your pallbearers so they can let you down one last time.
Mmm, peaches.
derpicdn.net/img/2016/3/12/1107249/large.png
You should feed the peaches and cream to a pony. Twilight loves peaches!
I could guess you were referring to Digger before you mentioned its name. It is truly fantastic.
I'm going to guess the Mets, because it's at least possible that they won a championship in your lifetime and thereby provide futile hope. As opposed to a team like Seattle, who have given nearly no reasons for hope since the start of their existence.
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Loved that one. The cultural stories several characters tell are good stories in their own right. It's like a turducken of world building and cultural characterization.
Digger! I followed that back in the day, and we keep the hardcopy on the shelf. Ursula is a treasure. Our daughter loves her children's books.
Ah, Digger! Read that years ago, myself; I recall indeed enjoying it. :)
I'm tempted to find the size of the body pillow, send a case to Estee the wrapping of the case has some waifu and the case itself. Just dark blue
Digger!
I was following along online as Ursula was writing that. I think the website is still live, and the comments add a lot to it. There was a deeply invested audience almost from the first few pages. I think Ursula herself was going through hard times then, and now she’s a Successful Writer and doing better; Digger helped a lot of people on her journey. I picked up the complete set of books at a ‘con, never even cracked them, just wanted to support the author somehow. Maybe those are actually worth something?
Oh Ed…
Just finished Digger. A wonderful story. Thanks for the recommendation.
I'm late as hell to this party but Digger is fucking incredible and deep. Profound and memorable.