give me a crackship in hte comments

this is my standard for crackships:

Abacus Cinch x Sunset Shimmer Contest (September 1, 2021 to September 29, 2021.)

if it's not AT LEAST as weird as this don't bother posting it, my gigantic brain needs a worthy chllenge

oh also it can't be straight i gues? i mean no offesne, some of my best friends are straight, i just don't understand how those relationships work enoguh to feel comfortable writing it sorry

Comments

[Scampy]

SunFlower but with Wally as the top

[Bicyclette]

5584462
i said WERID

[Ice Star]

Granny Smith and ABSOLUTELY aged-up Diamond Tiara. Pony Abacus Cinch and Fluttershy. Ember and a happily divorced Filthy Rich. Angel Bunny (only assuming you count him as sapient) and Torch. Treehugger and one of the Flim Flam brothers.

[Bicyclette]

5584467
"finally, some good fucking crackship." --gorpone ramsay problable

[Ice Star]

5584470
Gordon Ramsneigh of Tartarus’ Kitchen serving up some crack ship sandwiches.

[Bicyclette]

5584467
tregguger x flim flam and cinch x fluttrsy are easy redemption arcs, you even paired them with good caharacters for it. granny smith x dt will be hard becaue by the time diamond tiara is old enough for it to even approach not fucked up granny smith is liteally canoncially dead of old age, but thankfully canon has ways aound that. angel bunny x torch will be difficult, that one's a thinker

[Jarvy Jared]

Wind Rider and Grand Pear, but they're both in their younger days

Gummy x anyone, but like show finale gummy - big boy

Starswirl and the librarian from that one episode where Twilight finds a book she failed to return on time

[Bicyclette]

5584467
granny smith x diamlnd tiara actually would also let me wrok in some of my favorite themes (aliconr imortallity) so i ight actioally write thatone thanks for hte idea. also treehugger x flim flam is straiht! i said not straight ships. also i didnt see ember x filthy rich thef frst time but a. you're arlready givinng me haf the setup, b. straight ship again, c. too easy, their personalities mesh pretty well

[mushroompone]

• Filthy Rich and Zephyr Breeze
• Bulk Biceps and Mudbriar
• Moondancer and Vapor Trail
• Mane-iac and Cherry Jubilee
• Hayseed Turniptruck and Trenderhoof
• Thunderlane and Tirek
• Marble Pie and Sapphire Shores
• Luna and Cheerilee
• Somnambula and Spitfire

glhf

[Bicyclette]

5584480
two arrogant young bastard in love, super graet idea, love it

like idk, mlp pets x anyone is tougrh because theyre in such a liminal social category, which i guess make them good candidates for carackships

both straight and too easy

[applejackofalltrades]

spitfire and granny smith

[Bicyclette]

5584480
but of the striaght ideas so far this one works pretty well since they're characters at similar life stages, and one that does not get explored much in the canon of a kids show, so there's some good fuckin food in here. this is hte most tempted ive been in my life to write a straight ship

[sunsetshimmer_13]

Idk

Um

Licking ice cream off of her tits

[Bicyclette]

5584483

• sugar daddy x bratty twink duh
• opposites attract wiht lots of earnestness, this is gonna be really sweet
• i already declare this canon holy shit it's so much better than what either of them got
• of these this is def the most crack-ship and one 'll have to think about, very nice choice
• i'm just gonna end up rewriting How to Farm Rocks for this one and it'sl gonna own because that sotry owns
• another good crack-ship that i'll hvae to think about, excellent
• this one will just be so adoralbe, works very well with canon characterizaitons, sapphire shores wanting to be more down-to-earth but can't get more so than a rock farm
• oh this one will be cute! i can work it similarly to Moonbug except less antagonistic, so some sort of combination between Moonbug and How to Farm Rocks again
• oh another fun one! wonderbolts needing to learn something from a pegasus pillar makes a lot of sense, so the excuse for them meeting is there. type a butch x easy-breezy femme, classic combo

[Ice Star]

5584476

tregguger x flim flam and cinch x fluttrsy are easy redemption arcs, you even paired them with good caharacters for it.

I actually picked the characters I could think of with the most opposing values, talents, and professions who I felt would be the most likely to lead to toxic combinations, or just really, really bad blind dates that never pick up again.

granny smith x dt will be hard becaue by the time diamond tiara is old enough for it to even approach not fucked up granny smith is liteally canoncially dead of old age, but thankfully canon has ways aound that.

I mean, if you want to keep it to canon, Granny Smith could be undead. Time travel could also be involved. If not, well, that's what fanfic and AUs are for.

angel bunny x torch will be difficult, that one's a thinker.

Exactly.

[FanOfMostEverything]

• Somnambula x Granny Smith
• Autumn Blaze x Coloratura
• Pony Trixie x human Trixie Wait, no, pretty sure that would happen if Twilight hadn't drafted legislature specifically to forbid it.
• Quibble Pants x Mudbriar
• Post-timeskip Ocellus x Scootaloo
• Prince Rutherford x Hoity Toity

Hope these meet your strict requirements.

[Bicyclette]

5584503

I actually picked the characters I could think of with the most opposing values, talents, and professions who I felt would be the most likely to lead to toxic combinations, or just really, really bad blind dates that never pick up again.

i feel like "opposing" is actually easier to ship than "orthogonal" since eneimes-to-loveers and opposite attract are such well-worn tropes. it's easy to do them very badly ofc, but at least there's a seed for it

[Bicyclette]

5584485
take that to the spit pit where it belogns

[Ice Star]

5584482

granny smith x diamlnd tiara actually would also let me wrok in some of my favorite themes (aliconr imortallity) so i ight actioally write thatone thanks for hte idea.

There actually is a Granny Smith/Luna romance story that uses a premise very similar to that.

TSure As She Made Little Green Apples

• MLP: FiM
• Romance
• Sad

The Apple Family matron has a secret she's been hiding all these long years. Princess Luna pleads with that very special mare to come clean.

• Luna
• Granny Smith

Vagando Baronessa · 2.6k words  ·  81  2 · 1.8k views

also treehugger x flim flam is straiht! i said not straight ships. also i didnt see ember x filthy rich thef frst time but a. you're arlready givinng me haf the setup, b. straight ship again, c. too easy, their personalities mesh pretty well

I wouldn't have taken Ember and Filthy Rich as an example of a pair with similar personalities. Strip away the fact that Filthy obviously puts a lot of stock in good business and being well-off and the parallel with dragon hoards, and they have no real similarities in personality and background (to my knowledge). The differing maturity brackets would also be interesting to see if any chemistry can be found, seeing Ember is a young ruler and Filthy is a middle aged/upper middle aged stallion with an ex-wife, expansive business, and child. Not only would Ember have to act as a stepmom, but there'd be an age and cultural difference. One that's a legit age gap too, not the little euphemistic usage that fimfic likes so much.

Also, it's not a straight romance if you headcanon one of them as not being straight or any particular flavor of trans that would make them not be opposite genders.

[Jarvy Jared]

5584506
Huh. Autumn Blaze and Coloratura I could actually see as not necessarily just as a crack crack ship, but a legitimate one, too.

[Ice Star]

5584507
Sorta? I usually find that most pairs build as "opposite attracts" in any degree of romance fiction are actually more similar than different, or their core values are to the point where it rules out the drastically opposing quirks and superficial traits... or, uh, there's a helluva divorce coming for them in the future because the writer doesn't realize how healthy relationships work (though, the latter may be on purpose). If no common values, goals, or remotely workable temperaments are present, then I usually pass on it as a ship. With the example of Treehugger and one of the Flim Flam brothers, the brother would literally have the fact that they put destroying something that Treehugger deeply loves as both a casual and important part of their existence. They also don't present themselves with any degree of honesty, which would absolutely not sit well with a pony who claims to be able to read chakras/auras. So it's a pair I imagine that maybe one particular author or story could make work with a lot of modification and headcanon as foundation, but one I'd otherwise not be able to argue as anything but a crackship.

[daOtterGuy]

I am disappointed no one listed Thunderlane x Garble.

Uh, let's see...

Soarin x the mailpony from the crystal Empire in the hollow sires episode AND x the mailpony that delivered to discords house
Steven Magnet x Shining Armour
Grogar x Aged up Flurry Heart whos wants a date to a high school reunion
Sombra x Golden Harvest

Ill stop there

[mushroompone]

5584497
you get me

[Thought Prism]

Alright we digging deep here.

Rusty Bucket X that one creepy ticket stallion from Sounds of Silence.

[Bicyclette]

5584532
this guy crackships

[Emotion Nexus]

Grogar x Woah Nelly

[Reese]

...Hm...
...Skellinore and Daring Do?

[Scampy]

5584463
what the fuck how is it not weird

[Bicyclette]

5584750
idk mare how is a canon ship with just one element switched a crack ship in any way think scampy think

[Cyann404]

how about Pinkie x Aria...you can call it sugar N spice XD

[Mockingbirb]

5584462
I thought Wally IS the top?
She tops from the bottom.
|| Which is ok if that's what works for them, or the place they need to be in right now. I'm not a bucking BDSM dogmatist. ||

[Mockingbirb]

On the one hand, this is a good question!
On the other hand, one problem with "give me a good crackship" is, once you write a good story about the ship, it might become less of a crackship.