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So list' bonnie laddie, and come awa' wit' me.

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Farewell, my home in Canterlot · 4:16pm Jun 23rd, 2019

You've all noticed by now I've been quiet. Moreso than usual. This has, I believe, officially exceeded my record length for a hiatus. Well, there's a reason for that. Actually, there are several. One of them is that I've been having a hard time coming up with the right time to write these words in, and the right words to say.

I'm leaving FimFiction behind, officially.

There's a few reasons for this. One of them is that I just don't have time the way I used to, and to be honest I didn't have time to begin with. When I started this blog I was between jobs and desperately seeking employment. For most of the time I was active here, I was working a retail job in a little town in Virginia that had some really awful shit happen in it about two years ago. You might've heard about it.

I'm not there anymore.

I quit that job about seven months ago. For the first time in my life, I didn't give two weeks notice. I didn't talk to anyone. I just stopped coming in and turned my phone off and slept. And given that working the job I did gave me worse anxiety than I have ever had for any reason and that it was actively making it harder for me to transition - a process I've finally been able to start in earnest - I decided that was fine. I don't owe them anything (although I'm fairly sure they owe me one last paycheck that it's unikely I'll ever collect on).

Now I live several states away, in Mississippi. I live here because I met a beautiful woman who writes poetry and loves me, and I wanted to spend the rest of my life as close to her as possible (and, to be frank, as far away from having my parents ask me questions about transitioning as possible). I'm going to marry her someday soon, and in the meantime we work together at a nice little office somewhere and that suits me fine. This, incidentally, is part of why I've had such a long hiatus - moving over multiple states means some interruption to my normal routine.

The new job actually leaves me more free time than I used to have, and more energy when I get off work. Being in love with a human person that I live with and having something resembling a social life for my first time since grade school demands investment of that time more than this site does, however.

That's not the reason I'm leaving though. I'm leaving because I realized that even though I still enjoy writing, Fimfiction is no longer a place that I want to write for.

Why did I come to fimfiction? Years ago it was because I thought a show about cute horses was adorable and I wanted to read stories where they were in lesbians with each other - largely because I'm a trans lesbian and well, yeah. That sounds pretty Lisa Frank feminine aesthetic, now doesn't it?

What I got was a series of encounters, friendships, and arguments that made me a better person. Chuck, my first boyfriend and first real relationship (even if I don't feel attracted to men I do feel attracted to talented writers, apparently). Bookish Delight, who I'm so happy I finally met in person. MrNumbers, who I've argued with, against, and alongside. FanofMostEverything, who honestly is like eighty percent of the audience I feel the need to say goodbye to since I think he's commented on every single thing I've written and always made me feel like it was worth the effort to write. And those are just the people I feel like I need to remember by name.

Fimfiction was a good place for me for a very long time.

It's not anymore.

The Hellmouth was about the point I realized it was time to actually leave. Not so much because it had to do with me directly, or because people didn't like what was said in it, but because I realized that if I'm going to stay on FimFiction, I'm going to have to spend at least part of my time getting angry at everyone and everything within it that was complicit with how badly that blew up. Frankly, I don't want to be angry. I don't want to be sad anymore. I've been sad for way too long. It's time for me to take what I've learned here, say thank you to the people I care about, and shake the dust off my sandals. High time I journey onward.

I have a life to live now, and people to care for, and a stupid cat, and breakfasts to make and kitchens to clean and worlds to write and decks to build and a government to agitate against. The emotional energy I have spent on fimfiction can no longer be spent here.

So I'm saying goodbye to everyone. If we were friends - if we were ever friends - I love all of you. This place made me a better person, and I'm never going to forget that. If you still want to stay in touch, I'll be hovering around the site to catch any goodbye comments someone wants to leave because I can't resist - send me a DM and I'll see about friending you on Discord if I haven't already.

I love you all.

Good night and good luck.

Report ScarletWeather · 1,109 views ·
Comments ( 33 )

Well crap. It's good to hear that your life is going so well now, but you'll definitely be missed around here. I'm under the same name on Discord, so please friend me there, and I hope I'll get to meet you in person at EFNW next year.

Author Interviewer

oh :( Well, at least things have gotten better for you.

Goodbye and good luck.

It's good to hear you're doing well :twilightsmile:

I wish you the best of luck with the future, though I will miss you and your writing. Be sure to check out the Breath of the Wild sequel when it releases.

Again, best of luck :pinkiesmile:

See you space cowgirl. I’ll PM you.

I'm gonna miss you all as well. Maybe whenever I get around to building a new blog presence that isn't pony-related, I'll pop back to send the hue and cry around.

Significantly. If I felt like this was the right place for it, I could've written at least three or four blogs about suicidal ideation and how much it sucks by now.

I'm embarrassed I didn't mention you by name in the post, because you've been one of my most enthusiastic readers. Hang in there!

I mean you're friends with Cyne too which basically means you can't get rid of me.

OH DARN. Guess I’m going to need to cancel the celebratory party then.

Glad to hear your life has gotten better, even if it means that FimFiction will be a less interesting place with your absence.

I mean, for better or worse I think Fimfiction is the definition of what happens when someone tells you "May you live in interesting times".

I'm sure whoever came up with that curse didn't expect as many arguments over the ethics of consuming foalcon, but there you go.

Fare thee well. I hope you at least pop by to point us at some of those worlds you make. And hey, we'll probably (hopefully) cross paths at conventions. Where you will no doubt kill any Mystic Snakes on sight, as is only reasonable.

Love you baby <3

Happy trails to you. May you find peace and prosperity.

Love you too, ancom tankie jokes and all, you dork. And you're not getting rid of me no matter what, we literally have a groupchat.

You are going to hold that over me forever if I don't find some way to card game you in the future, snake-boy. I may not be active on Fimfic anymore, but that doesn't mean you won't ever see me again.

To clear something up, you won't be deleting your ScarletWeather profile on this website? Taking leaves from a platform or profile is always fine, but I always think it's a shame that the majority of your content would vanish.

I need help understanding something about Hellmouth. I had never heard about this until your blog post today, and I've been trying to catch up. I really liked Mr. Numbers' blog, and I'm trying to read through your blog post from January about it right now, but I feel like I'm missing something. What exactly does "Hellmouth" even mean? Is it describing the blogpost? The post, and all the comments below it? The general conversation surrounding it? I checked Urban Dictionary, and... I don't think that's what you're going for here.

Although UD did fill me in on what "ancom" and "tankie" meant, so thanks for teaching me that.

All the best for the future!

Good luck and continue to follow your bliss.

You’re unique perspective will be missed.

The hellmouth is what I started calling the reaction to that post, because it reminded me of the pit in Buffy the Vampire Slayer that spits out awful shit. And that's pretty much where my explanation has to stop. I'm leaving fimfic so I don't have to get angry about that, remember.

And for clarity's sake, I am absolutely leaving everything up. This is just an announcement that I'm not going to be around to manage it for much longer.

And to yours as well.

I wouldn't say my perspective's entirely unique, but if you liked me there are several other people on the site who are active or semi-active I could recommend - honestly, if I feel up to it I'll compile a list, but most of them are among my followers already or are on my "followed" list. (Don't treat my follows as a to-read guide though, I have followed at least one person because I was watching a train-wreck of a fic in progress and wanted to see where that was going).

Glad to hear things are better for you and with you luck in your life.

Glad to hear that things are better, but I do hope you won't delete this account, after all, your story scored a rare place on my über favorites shelf, and who knows, you might get the bug to write something else in the future, so why not leave yourself the option? If you do delete, give me a heads up so I can download your story please.

I asked the same question, she says she’s leaving everything to read.

Farewell! I don't think we were nearly familiar enough to be called friends, but neither would I call us enemies; thank you, and good luck in your future endeavors!

If you would point to some other FimFic bloggers that are worthwhile reading, I would appreciate it.

I might have to disagree with you about easily finding replacements. No one else created such a worthwhile and thought-provoking set of blogs on writing, social commentary, and MTG.

Author Interviewer

I will definitely miss your blogs.

Well, this is definitively a loss for us, but if you have moved on with your life, it's understandable.
Take care!

i'll miss you senpai fox :c

Sucks, but you have a right to do whatever it takes to keep you stable.

Don't let any of us hold you back from that.

Hope you're happier where you go than where you've been.

We'll all miss you, but you gotta take care of you and yours first.

Be well, and don't let the bastards grind you down.

Surprise Level = 0.

You know where to find me. I love you too.


I'm just stealing this comment

Sad as I am that this means the end of your excellent contributions to this site, I'm delighted that you're moving your life in such a positive direction and doing what you feel you need to to enable that--including leaving here. Best wishes for the future, and I look forward to seeing what you do post ponies!

I haven't been reading FIMFic blogs for about three weeks as I've been in a writing crunch, but wanted to thank you for brightening things up over the time you were here. I'm glad to hear that -- Hellmouth aside -- the fandom led to some amazingly positive things, which is worth celebrating.

Best thoughts as you move on, and I hope we continue to cross paths!

and I wanted to read stories where they were in lesbians with each other

- I laugh a bit on this one, because I have this link saved ... I dunno how exactly it work, may be it really was easier for me, as male, to watch two females, instead of, say, two males BEFORE I ever read this article, from timestamp sometime дек 29 2019, or this article influenced my preferences ..Anyway, I think I more like erotica vs porn, and this was said to be 'female thing', sometime ago on Internet ...

But of course if I look back (at last 10 years of my life, or even 18+, all way back to 2002 when I started to live independent live and of course completely buried myself in this question about Dolphin Mind first, and then in load of related themes ... ) I see more some variation of

[...] even if I don't feel attracted to men I do feel attracted to talented writers, apparently) [...]

, just for mostly thinkers? Well, thinker who can't write him/herself out is mostly invisible for me, so there is some reason why I see thinker/writers more ...

Anyway, sex(y) related talks tend to derail pretty hard, it seems, so I probably better not to press this issue .... this time. (but politics/activism also tend to generate a lot of ... angriness, and I hardly can avoid those if I want to continue to do something about all this.)

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