Mechanic: Flex (tape won't fix this) · 12:54am Jun 18th, 2019
Short one for y’all today, ‘cause I’m editing and stuff. Also mandated overtime at work this weekend (a call-in), one of the residents didn’t return when he was supposed to and that’s a problem because there’s a court order, one of our new guys is taking the week off and my manager spent today being lazy and a jerk, and...
Once upon a time, we had a Ford Econoline to be programmed. I don’t know what the original fault was, but the customer had decided that the PCM was at fault, and had ordered a ready-to-go unit off the internet. He’d installed it, and it hadn’t fixed the problem.
So, he’d thrown in the towel, and taken it to a shop for a professional to diagnose. Not our shop, I hasten to mention.
The other shop had come to the conclusion that the instrument panel cluster was actually the module at fault, and had replaced it. However, they couldn’t program the IPC, so we got the vehicle.
My manager generally does the GM programming, since he worked at a GM dealership for ten thousand years (to hear him brag) and so he’s good at them. If it’s not GM, though, he’s unfamiliar, and it fell to me to program this poor van.
Things went south pretty fast. Most Fords auto-ID when you hook up the scan tool--especially when you hook up the Ford scan tool--but this one didn’t. I had to tell the scan tool what it was hooked up to.
And when I did, it wasn’t happy at all. But, it did let me go through the options, and it did let me get into the programming section of the scan tool.
But not much further.
I won’t bore you with the details, but I’ll give you a couple of highlights. The scanner correctly determined that the PCM had the latest calibration . . . and that that PCM reported that the van was a F-150 pickup. The scanner refused to have anything to do with the IPC.
If the PCM can’t be identified, it does let you enter the calibration data manually. You can pull it from Oasis, and it gives you a collection of hex codes. There are ways to trick the scan tool into thinking that it can’t ID the module, which I did, but it wanted more codes than I had.
Ultimately, I had to put the old PCM in it in order to program the IPC, and then at the other shop’s request, put the new PCM back in which made it think it was a F-150 running Econoline peripherals. I’m sure it was quite confused, but it was an older van, and it didn’t care all that much that important ID information didn’t match across modules.
Ant-sized Wikipedia picture
I only bring this up as a simple introduction to the case of the Ford Flex. There are two important takeaways here: first, that multiple modules are programmed with the VIN and the basic concept of what they’re installed in. Second, that the computers aren’t happy when there’s conflict.
Expanding upon the second point, when the van arrived, it had an ABS module that knew it was an Econoline, a PCM that thought it was a F-150, and an IPC that didn’t know what it was, because it comes from the dealer unprogrammed. The scan tool couldn’t decide what it was hooked up to and apparently the PCM won that battle, thus it was a F-150, despite what the other modules said (or didn’t), and therefore it tried to program it as if it were a F-150.
Which brings us to the Flex.
Those of us who are professionals in any technical field know that when the customer tried to fix it, they just wound up making it worse.
Thus it was with the Flex.
Once upon a time, I blogged about a Lincoln that melted an ignition coil and the PCM. High-current devices are often controlled by little chips on the PCM and while in theory there are current-limiting devices to protect them, they don’t always work as advertised.
This happened to the Flex, or at least according to the customer, that’s what happened. One of the coils went all melty and when the customer replaced it the new one didn’t work because the driver in the PCM had also let out all its magic smoke.
Being frugal, instead of taking it to an actual shop, they found a used PCM, and installed it.
Of course, now the vehicle wouldn’t start. The security system said that the keys were wrong (and they were, as far as it knew), and naturally the VIN stored in that PCM didn’t match the one in all the other modules in the Flex, so it was towed in for us to program.
The first problem was that they only had one key. Most Fords require two keys to program the security system. More than once I’ve told my idiot manager that, and he still tends to ignore me despite evidence to the contrary.
And time.
It’s a pretty useless security system if you can just hook up a scan tool and bypass it, but of course there are times when you legitimately need to, so what Ford and GM did is put in a timer. Keeps you from just rolling up to a car, plugging in a scanner, and stealing it--you still can, but you’ve got to wait ten minutes.
[GM’s Passlock system, you don’t need a scanner to bypass, but you have to wait through three ten minute cycles. Ford, you need a scan tool and have to wait ten minutes before it gives you access. I have no idea what Chrysler does, but one of the modules is called the SKREEM, so...]
We ordered a new key (the customer only had one). And with two keys in hoof, a-programming I went.
Just like our F-150 Econoline, I ran into problems right away. When faced with a VIN mismatch, apparently the PCM usually wins. The Flex had an identity crisis; all the modules save the PCM knew what it was. The PCM said it was a different Flex, and that was that.
Try as I might, I couldn’t get it to reprogram. The scan tool knew that the PCM was at the most recent calibration (update, for computer people), and would go no further, no matter how many times I tried to trick it.
The security system was also being petulant. I finally had to wipe out all the keys it knew, so it’d be forced to accept new ones. That got it going.
But.
But the ABS module wasn’t happy. It knew itself, it knew its VIN, and when the key was first turned on, it checked its VIN with the PCM and by golly, they didn’t match.
Since the ABS could think of no reason why this might happen, it assumed that something had gone terribly wrong and disabled itself.
So now our customer has a Flex that runs--which they didn’t before--and the ABS and Traction Control warnings are on all the time. Those codes cannot be cleared.
I tell my manger that the way to fix it is to get an actual blank PCM from the dealer, install that, program that, and all will be well, but the customer doesn’t want to spend the money.
So, they take the vehicle as is.
Last week it was back.
Apparently, the warning lights being constantly on were enough of an annoyance, or else another module decided it didn’t want to work anymore. This time they’d gotten a blank PCM.
From Ford?
No, of course not. They found one on the Internet that was guaranteed to fit.
And, I will give them credit, they also brought me the original PCM, the one that this Flex had left the factory with. So I could put the original in (remember, it worked except that it couldn’t drive all the coils), pull the configuration data and VIN from it, and then put in the new one and program it.
They did not bring two keys, because apparently they forgot that the security system cannot be programmed without having two keys.*
Source
_________________________________________________________
*You have to reprogram it when putting in a new PCM or else it would be very easy to steal Fords.
Said module was rebuilt or reconditioned or sandblasted and wrapped in Saran Wrap.
After the customer had driven back home and fetched the second key, I set to programming. At first, things went smoothly. I put the original PCM in, downloaded all the config files, put the new one in, uploaded all the config files, and then it was time to program the security system.
Well, after a 10 minute delay.
Got my access, did the thing with the keys, and oh, it won’t start because neither of the keys is valid.
Okay, let’s try that again, another ten minutes, and we’ll delete all the old keys even though there shouldn’t be any old keys, but this is an aftermarket PCM.
Well, that got me something.
Specifically, that got the PCM to toss a code for ‘invalid key’ (P1260, IIRC). Which, it turns out, blocks it from learning new keys. And if you try to switch tabs out of the security system into the codes menu, you get booted and have to wait ten minutes until you can get in again.
It was learning the new keys. The security module was happy with the keys it had--I could view data on that, and it said that they were both valid. The PCM didn’t think so, though.
As I’ve surely mentioned in network-focused blogs before, things go something like this:
<key inserted>
Security: Hey, this key is good.
<key turned>
PCM: Request to start. Hey, Security, is this a good key?
Security: The key is correct.
PCM: Did you say the key is a coronet? I don’t know what that is.
Security: Correct! I said it was correct!
PCM: Better disable the starter lol.
Security: Dammit, PCM, start the engine.
PCM: Oh, let’s turn off the fuel pump and spark, too.
PCM: Hey, IPC, why don’t you go and turn on the security light?
<tech cries>
After several attempts, I finally not only deleted all the keys, but also used the “Parameter Reset” function, which is basically the nuclear option. That’s the security system telling all the modules who care to forget everything they know about keys because it’s all wrong; that’s the format c:\ command for the security and that did work.
At the end of it, the Flex drove off into the sunset now with a PCM that knew what it was in and an ABS module that worked like it was supposed to.
But.
The whole fiasco got started ‘cause the customer was trying to save money by doing it themselves.
So let’s add things up. I don’t know the cost, but that’s okay.
They bought a used PCM
They had the vehicle towed to our shop
It was out of service for that day.
They bought a new key . . . which took another day to arrive.
They paid us to program it, which only sort of worked.
Then
They bought a ‘remanufactured’ PCM.
They drove the vehicle to our shop
Then back home again, ‘cause they forgot the second key
They paid us to install the new PCM
They were waiting for it, and they wound up waiting two hours because it was being petulant
They paid us to program it again.
Maybe I’m wrong, but I bet it would have been cheaper to just get one from Ford, program it once, and be on their way.
Probably from an episode, I dunno
Basically somone trying to be cheap and screwing themselves over in the end lol
DIY adventures are the best adventures.
Until it's someone else's DIY adventure and you're just cleaning up for them.
Just be glad that car companies dont use Nintendo eShop security.
Every module has a TPM chip and has to be cross checked and registered with Nintendo eShop crypto database.
If any hacker has managed to actually break the system, they aint talking.
Think end to end Roman Lock encryption with the car as a cloud?
I still dont know if security is in the physical layer, that anything running on top of that know what security even exists? Like isnt the point of Virtual Machines, that the software shouldnt need to be written to support it, because as far as the software is concerned, the Virtual Machine is a pure isolated personal dedicated instance of hardware?
At leas the keys dont burn PGP crypto keys to a Write Once database?
5076097
INDEED!
You didn't give that asterisk any explanation.
5076111
)
It was the footnote under the facepalm. I added an asterix to that to make it clearer (not sure how it got forgotten
And this is why, despite the cost, I order electronic through the manufacturer.
I feel like I should know this. I think the few times I've programmed keys on Chryslers were actually Jeeps, which are usually the same. If I recall, the scanner asks for a 4 digit PIN number that is supposed to be provided by Chrysler Customer Care (or what-in-the-fuck-ever it's called). But if you actually go through the motions and call them, they will tell you 'we don't do that' or 'I don't know what a security PIN is' or 'LOL UR FUCKED.'
As I recall, I had once gotten the supposed PIN from the dealership, (which btw, they try REALLY hard to give you a 6 digit PIN, even though it's supposed to be 4) and naturally it was completely useless (even after I squeezed them for a 4 digit code). I got so frustrated that I just mashed the enter button with no PIN typed in, and it just decided that no PIN at all was - in fact - the correct PIN, and it let me into the SKREEM programming options.
A more recent time, I called the dealer and the guy actually knew what I was talking about, and told me he'd have to check if he could get a PIN, because apparently each dealer is allotted a certain number of PIN requests per day (?), but he was able and the PIN was correct.
I'm fairly certain that method is antiquated now, and probably newer Mopars don't use that setup. Although what Chrysler is doing now is putting security restrictions on the OBD2 plug, so it's very basic info, and read only. They've accomplished this by using a gateway module of sorts (perhaps gatekeeper would be a better term). You need to have some stupid log in device that contacts Chrysler servers and asks permission to bypass security. Fortunately Autel has made a bypass device for the gatekeeper module, but unfortunately you'll have to go a-digging in the dashboard to find it to bypass it.
I really hate this industry.
That was like half arcane mumbo jumbo to me but I can tell how frustrating that must have been.
Once bought a used car from a woman that a friend of mine knew. She had her boyfriend fix the car.
That fool knew JUST enough to be *absolutely lethal* when working on cars.
Among other things
The Neutral Safety Switch died. Rather than replace it, he just shorted around it.
Thus, the car would start in gear.
He would buy used parts to replace broke parts.
Not necessarily the same part, just one that would fit.
Then, he would drill bolt holes in things to attach it.
My brother & his best friend were backyard mechanics.
Buying subparts for a Pontiac & finding out that The Boy Wonder had installed a Ford or Chevy part (they're more common & Chevy parts were usually cheaper) is LOT'S of fun -not.
Also, she did not change the oil. Ever. For 6 years. This builds up a simply amazing amount of sludge.
(Found that out when I blew the head gasket. It was a $10-$15 part.
You just have to take off the top half of the engine to install it)
All in all, this was the second most Fun Car To Own that I ever had.
(MOST Fun Car To Own was a 1970 Chrysler Plymouth Fury.
Between them, I decided: As GOD is my witness, I will never by an American car again!)
Ugh, nothing worse than a "device" with an identity crisis.
Anyway, just finished rebuilding the seat frame and suspension on an "antique" tractor a few days ago. Not bad once you make sense of what's going on. Only thing that drives me nuts is the seat itself: the last owner made a permanent retrofit for a seat of the prior generation, thus devaluing the tractor altogether.
5076140 I made that vow when I bought my first Subaru, and I loved it so much I bought a second. Then our Subaru dealer in town left. Cost drove me to Honda/Toyota after that.
"...conclusion that the instrument panel cluster was actually the module at fault, and had replaced it.... The red blinking light on my dashboard just lit up. Warning, warning....
This reminds me of my thought process while getting the new car battery I told you about last week.
Right by the counter in Autozone there was a little display full of batteries. I didn't pay it much mind initially. The salesperson looked up my car for me, found the battery stats it needed, and then showed me a handy list of batteries I could purchase, some of which were in stock, and some of which weren't. Then he comes around and goes to the display, examining each battery. Well, it was a clearance rack for a brand because they were no longer carrying that brand.
$60 for a battery! (Hey, that's pretty good!) It's got the right cold-crank amps! (Nice!) It's approximately the right size! (Wait...) It has a two year warranty! (That's, kinda' short. How long did you say you've had this battery on your shelf?) I didn't!
And even though the most powerful car-approved battery with the longest warranty was almost three times the cost of that bargain shelf deal, it still broke down to less money per year when using the warranty as a life expectancy guideline.
So, random battery of indeterminate age, slightly questionable fit, and shorter support span (maybe none at all! Autozone wasn't carrying them!), but less up front cost? Or less random battery of assumedly young age, assured fit, and longer support span, but with greater up front cost (but theoretically longer term savings)?
You're damn right I bet my money on the more expensive one. It's got me covered!
P.S. After reading the blog title, I'm disappointed that you didn't do more flexing as a mechanic in this. Really show us what you got!
I don't think there's a way to offer extreme condolences for all that trouble, but if there was, I'd be offering them right now. ()^_^ So, I'll just settle for the normal ones.
I've always believed it is important to be aware of when, exactly, you reach the point of diminishing returns when you are cutting corners as a do-it-yourself-er. After all, if you cut too many corners, it might just roll away.
My Spanish teacher back in high school taught our class a proverb- "Lo barato sale caro" (cheap things come out expensive). I have to wonder whether this guy learned anything.
Ah, customers trying to DIY. I just tried to replace my phone's cracked screen, since the professionals told me it would cost more than the thing was worth (stupid depreciation. I had only paid off the hardware contract the month before).
It would have been an easy fix if the jerks at LG hadn't epoxied a lot of the bits into place. I probably tugged a ribbon cable a little too hard while prying and wiggling them out, or I got sweat on a connector or sensitive part of the PCB. At any rate, it turned out better than I expected, but not fully functional. I could try taking it apart again, cleaning everything with a qtip and alcohol and maybe sticking some PCB tape over the ribbon connectors to prevent looseness, but I'm content buying a new phone (new as in a model from a few years ago) for pretty cheap. Not an upgrade so much as a lateral-grade. And all-together, a valuable learning experience.
That reminds me, have you ever blogged about why you need two jobs? I didn't think you lived in a particularly expensive part of the country, and it seems like you're stressed enough about them that I wonder whether it'd be better for your health if you could drop the weekend one.
5076106
From a general IT perspective, TPM and Secureboot are just a pain in the ass and more trouble than they're worth. And if they're being imposed on you... Well, there's a quite a few reasons why I'm done with game consoles and un-rootable mobile devices.
5076204
Theyre adding microphones to some traffic cameras to grab potato cruisers, just how long before someone gets the idea to use the in car entertainment access to scan each car as it goes past for legal construction, so the traffic cameras are doing an MOT on you as you drive, and if its an old car, you get a pile of tickets you need to fight in return?
guaranteed to fit
guaranteed to fit
guaranteed to fit
Uh, yeah, sure, whatever.
But hey, unlike in GoT, burning everything to the ground and starting over actually worked.
Coming to theaters this summer!
i.imgur.com/bqRfOlT.jpg
Yeah, there's a reason I still drive a mid-'90s Geo Metro. I like cars I can work on myself without needing a college degree and tens of thousands of dollars of specialized electronics.
5076220
What's a potato cruiser? Is that a slur against Irish motorists? Shame.
5076330
A potato cruiser is one where they put an exhaust big enough to shove a potato on the back to create as big a noise as possible, due to being severely deficient in other more critical areas.
The most impressive car locally Ive seen is a full decorated Subaru WX ralley style car, and its near silent when it goes past.
Your story makes me aware of how lucky I was when I fixed my 2007 Mazda 3 this year.
On the drive home from work the 5-speed manumatic went clunk and entered limp home mode.
Long story short, the shop wanted $1800 to replace the TCM and I found the OEM part on Amazon for $500.
I now understand how fortunate I am that the part worked without causing more issues!
5076083
My job in a nutshell. :P
5076093
Yeah, and I’d like to say that that’s the exception, but it’s really not. Which, incidentally, leads me back to why I paid a professional to put a roof on my house rather than doing it myself. Could I put a roof on? Probably, eventually. It’s just boards and shingles. Could I do it right, and as quickly as the professional did, and could I do it for less and without falling off? Most likely not.
5076097
I mean, those adventures are less good, but I get paid by the hour, and I get blog posts out of it, so it’s sort of a win...
5076106
VW: if you need security stuff, better have the factory tool. And call Germany.
In cars, generally the security we care the most about (if the car starts or not) is a one-time thing; at some point during the key cycle there’s a check, and the numbers either match and the car runs, or they don’t and it doesn’t. After that, the security module goes back to sleep until the engine is off and the driver’s door is cycled. So for most vehicles, the security check is the computer asking if it’s okay to start the vehicle, and getting a yes or no answer, and that’s that.
You say that, but apparently newer Ford keyless keys do that, and they’re probably not alone in that. Rolling algorithms, so you can’t clone a fob. You can’t program a used fob to a new car . . . and I’d imagine that Ford isn’t the only one who does that, but they’re the only one where that came up in class last night.
5076114
That’s the smart way to do it. I mean, you can’t guarantee that it works from the factory, but you’ve got a way better shot than some aftermarket “well, it ought to work” supplier. One of our trainers called new parts “never ever worked” and also since he wasn’t contractually allowed to badmouth his employer, would just say that some parts they sold “exceeded factory specifications.”
I guess the moral is you get what you pay for. It’s not worthy of a blog post, but I put a wheel bearing in a F-350 that was ordered online and hundreds of dollars cheaper than a good one. There’s a reason it’s so cheap, dude.
Or the guy that didn’t like the idea of paying $100 each for Ford coils so found a set on the interwebs that was $100 for eight. I couldn’t tell you how many of those he’s replaced thus far, but I think it’s all of them, at least once. And as I hinted at in the blog post, if the coil fails badly, it takes the PCM with it.
i.imgur.com/juW2tFig.jpg
i.imgur.com/Hr7M5W2.jpg
5076121
True story, I’ve never programmed security on a Chrysler product, but based on some of their other stuff, LOL UR FUCKED sounds reasonable.
In generally, it seems to be a more robust system than GM’s.
Some of the dealers are really coming down hard on that. These days, you’re supposed to have a locksmith ID or proof of ownership, and it tends to fall more towards personal relationship than anything else. I got a GM dealer to give me a cut Caddy key when I gave him the sad story of how I’d lost it (and let’s be honest, I was probably rewarded for the lulz).
It’s got its pros and cons. Thus far it can’t be outsourced, which is nice, and even if vehicles are more reliable than they used to be, customers still find ways to break them, often expensively (Subarus, as you probably know, have a dipstick for the front diff, so you’d think nobody would ever run one dry . . . turns out it’s about 2k to fix with a used diff--ask me how I know).
The one thing I hate the most is customers griping about how “they make cars so you can’t fix them” as they give me the keys.
No, Karen, they make cars so you can’t fix them because you don’t have the tools or the education. I can fix them, because I do have the tools and the education.
5076131
As a professional in any industry, blog posts about said industry are likely to be half arcane mumbo-jumbo. After all, we can hardly justify charging you what we do if you have the vaguest comprehension about why the WIN module and the SKREEM module need to be calibrated to the FOBIK in order for your car to start. (and no, I didn’t make up any of those acronyms.)
I think the important takeaway is that y’all have a fun time reading these even if you’re not entirely sure what I did or if hitting it with a hammer would have been a better choice.
5076140
Also point of fact, auto mechanics who don’t want to fix it right also have similar ‘fixes.’
There’s nothing on that list I haven’t done.
In fact, I have a S-10 that I jokingly refer to as an 83-92 S-10, because that’s the model year range the principle parts came from. Also, some 80s Buick, a Jeep (a few new holes and it fit), etc.
There are many really cheap parts--especially gaskets--that are ungodly expensive to install.
There’s also the opposite, for example Toyota using slightly undersized wires on the climate control module in some Highlanders. About $50-100 labor to replace, $1100 for the part.
The good news is if you’re willing to live without a blower fan, you don’t have to fix it.
I’d avoid Nissans. Many of them are what you get if a disgruntled Chrysler designer tries to turn building Rube Goldberg machines into a career.
5076143
It’s varying degrees of fun, depending on the identity crisis and how severe the results are. At least the Flex didn’t decide it ought to fire the airbags as a precaution (although that would have taught the customer a lesson
)
One of the reasons I was reasonable about the price I sold my 69 C-10 for. It had already been modified--wrong year brakes, wrong year box, and no engine or trans (thus non-matching numbers). It’d have been a fun driver, but never worth nearly as much as an unmodified one.
5076890
Ah, Ford COP systems... sweet Chaos, they suck.
My brother-in-law did the same thing with my sister's Expedition. $200 dollar repair became a $2200 bill at a dealership a week later.
5076144
Subrarus are cool. I really like them; there’s a lot of smart design that went into them, as well as a company who’s not too big for their britches. Back in the day, at least, they made one product (basically), but they’d made a lot of them and were really good at it.
One of the funniest lights I ever saw . . . some Chryslers, you can get the odometer to display certain codes by turning the key X number of times. We got one that wouldn’t start, and I guess I must have accidentally turned the key the right number of times, ‘cause after I pushed it into the bay, I glanced down at the odometer and it just said “done.”
5076148
This is always a valid question. Also, while y’all in the general public won’t know this, I always raise an eyebrow when I see a battery in a car that was made (or sold) by a company I’ve never heard of. It’s either some guy who’s got his own battery factory (unlikely), or it’s a sticker slapped on a battery from some unknown source--often junkyard batteries, in fact.
Any quality battery is going to have a sticker or a brand on it that says when it was manufactured. Usually, they’re a letter for the month (A= January, B= February, etc.) and a number for the year (19 or 9 for 2019).
Unrelated, but tires use a four-digit code, the last four of the DOT code stamped in the sidewall. The first two digits are the week, and the last two are the year. If it’s only got three digits (for example, 428), it was made in the 42nd week of 1988 and belongs in a museum, not on a car.
images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/4a86fc0f-4f13-49dd-8c34-7fc231d6c209/d76mxco-824c1ffa-6ee6-4cb0-8b68-6573f5fecadc.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7InBhdGgiOiJcL2ZcLzRhODZmYzBmLTRmMTMtNDlkZC04YzM0LTdmYzIzMWQ2YzIwOVwvZDc2bXhjby04MjRjMWZmYS02ZWU2LTRjYjAtOGI2OC02NTczZjVmZWNhZGMuanBnIn1dXSwiYXVkIjpbInVybjpzZXJ2aWNlOmZpbGUuZG93bmxvYWQiXX0.P9zS2LO9G822rGoEJG_0eyCK77RI4XqFfSVapjweivk
(22mm bent)
i.imgur.com/KPZdTkI.jpg
Broken (1/2” drive, done without cheater pipe)
5076172
Fear not, it’s all in a day’s work!
And as a bonus, I get to pass everything to my manager first, and he has to tell the customer just how f
ed they are.
5076194
Yes, and I feel the same way. While there are many things I am capable of fixing around the house given money and time and education, there are plenty of things I’ve passed off to people who actually know what they’re doing because I’d rather have it done right and in a timely manner than done sort of okay eventually.
Which is why I paid a pro to fix my roof, and have generally given my IT buddies my computer when it malfunctions, rather than attempt to fix myself. Hammers, it turns out, aren’t good for circuit boards.
5076198
Yeah, I wonder, too.
The English expression is of course “you get what you paid for.” And they did--they paid for a PCM, and they got a PCM. Even better, it ran the engine--as promised. As for the peripherals . . . well, I’m sure the seller never promised they’d work.
5076200
I horrified an IT friend by doing that kind of thing on his kitchen table, including consulting Google Images to figure out where all the little bits that came out were supposed to go when it went back together. Incidentally, that repair didn’t fix it, but dropping it on concrete did. Wish I’d tried that first.
A lot of PCMs for reasons are basically submerged in clear jello. Although with the clear stuff, you can at least see if anything’s gone up in smoke. Other components are potted in black epoxy, both to keep the moisture out (hopefully) and also to keep DIYers from getting too frisky with the innards.
Or to hide how cheap it is.
You can hide all sorts of sins with black epoxy.
5076201
That reminds me, have you ever blogged about why you need two jobs?
I haven’t. The short version is that I have one for fun stuff--cons and the like--and the other for day-to-day bills. Plus, the weekend job is a great fallback for if things go south and I can’t find work as a mechanic (which has happened before); I can just up my availability to ‘whenever,’ and not have to worry about unemployment and so forth. Also, while some of the days suck there--and of course those are the ones I tend to blog about--virtually all of the editing of The Haunting, my SoL collection, and presumably Sam and Rose will have been done on the clock there. Getting paid to edit ponyfic, oh yeah.
Not to mention any number of stories that were written while I was being paid to supervise people who were sleeping. . . .
It’s not super expensive, and I could probably get by on $2k/month after tax, maybe a little less if I cut into some frills.
And I should say that while I did gripe above about that three hours of mandated overtime, I spent much of it editing ponyfic, ‘cause all the guys I had to watch were asleep, and there was damn all I could do about the guy who wasn’t home (I called the On-Call supervisor and let it be her problem). So I got paid time-and-a-half to edit several MLP stories.
5076231
We’ve got lots of terms in our lexicon for that.
NEW= Never Ever Worked
Part “exceeds factory specifications”
“Cut to fit.”
To paraphrase Michael Crichton, fire is not always right, but it is always hot and compelling.
5076239
And that’s only if the security module wants to cooperate! Otherwise it’s Gone in 1200 Seconds or maybe 2400 Seconds or Maybe You Should Call The Dealer And Get A Different PCM Seconds.
True story, back when cars were a lot dumber I knew a few bypasses for missing keys. Once, when I was driving wrecker, I did that in front of a cop (the last guy had hotwired it, and I knew what I needed to do to rehotwire it). The cop was mightly confused about how I drove a car that had no keys up to the wrecker, ‘cause I was too lazy to back around to it.
5076273
The good news is for most diagnosis, you only need to know basic electrical theory. The bad news is that you do need lots of specialized tools to get into some stuff.
5076372
There are some modules that need to be programmed and some that don’t. On most modern cars, the stuff that runs lots of stuff does need to be configured (PCM, TCM, ABS, BCM, etc.) and the stuff that just observes and reports doesn’t--but that’s not a hard and fast rule. I had to program the fuel pump driver module on a late-model GM, whereas on Fords you just plug the right one in, and it does what the PCM tells it to do (hopefully).
Most likely, going forward, there are going to be more and more modules which have to be specifically configured, because honestly that saves on part numbers. Sure, it sucks for the tech and consumer, but it’s cheaper for the automaker.
And yes, you’re very lucky that you found a cheap TCM that worked on your vehicle without needing any configuration put into it.
5076896
Honestly, if I owned one of those things, I’d put a coil and a cheap scan tool (so I knew which cylinder was misfiring) in the glove box. Cheap insurance.
We stock a grand total of one ignition coil, and it’s for the Ford modular engine (4.6, 5.4, 6.8).
And while their coils suck, I will admit that they’re better at building wheel bearings than GM is.
Yeah, there’s times when you save money by doing it yourself. And then there’s times that you shoot yourself in the foot by trying it yourself.
One that we see a lot is cars with rear brake calipers that have built-in parking brakes (mechanical or electric) where the customer tried to drive back the piston with progressively larger and larger tools until they finally got it to retract, never mind that snapping noise from inside the caliper (on a Fusion, at least, you can get the piston back in with a really stout C-clamp, but it’ll never come out again). Nice for us, ‘cause it adds a few hundred dollars to the job, and since I live in the rust belt, it’s easier to replace calipers than to clean the brackets.
5076897
"Welp, the car has spoken. Guess we're gonna have to call the customer and give him some bad news..."
