Friendship is Card Games: Grannies Gone Wild · 11:47am Apr 15th, 2018
Imagine the least likely MLP crossover imaginable. One that would not even occur in fan fiction. One where the disconnect between the target audiences couldn’t be widened much more before you’d have to go either postmortem or prenatal.
That’s right, folks. We Golden Girls now. Just don’t ask me which one is Betty White.
It’s still weird to me how there’s a theme park element to pony Las Vegas. I understand that they can’t exactly show alcohol-fueled gambling palaces, but still.
Huh. I think this is the first time Misty Fly spoke in canon. Feel free to correct me on that particular bit of trivia.
I admit, a lot of my positivity towards this episode—yeah, spoiler, I enjoyed it—boils down to the unexpected xkcd reference in the opener. What can I say? I’m easy to please if you know how.
I do like how Dash does little half-flaps as she imitates a rising roller coaster, even if it does raise questions about pegasus wing anatomy. I know we've seen wings do that before, but I’m pretty sure that joint shouldn’t bend that way.
Dash may be an active Wonderbolt and a teacher at the School of Friendship, but that appears to be the limit of her time management skills. The odds seem very good that somepony else is in charge of Ponyville’s weather at this point. It’s nice to see some degree of consequential time crunch for the Bearers, especially for one with so many demands on her time. This may also explain Rarity’s rush last episode; she hadn’t had time to perfect her centerpiece outfit until now because of teaching.
That said, I do have to wonder how Applejack’s juggling two courses. I’d think there’d be some schedule overlap. She could ask someone else to help, but then why couldn’t Dash? I suppose reliable AJ was the first pony she turned to.
It feels odd to hear “Surely you don’t” from Dash. It just doesn’t seem like something she’d say.
Is “Hurry your haunches, hinnies” offensive or just alliterative?
Nice continuity with the Gold Horseshoe Gals. When it seems like the writers have forgotten most of what happened before Twilight got her wings, it’s good to see characters from “Apple Family Reunion.” (On the other hand, this does raise the question of how Applejack hadn’t met Goldie Delicious before “Pinkie Apple Pie.” Sigh.)
Also, annual trips to pony Vegas would certainly explain the Apples’ continual money problems.
Cranky Flank cream? Can’t tell if that’s a brand name or just what Granny calls it.
Always nice to see Cherry Berry, especially in an aeronautical capacity. I don’t expect her to be part of a space program in canon, but still.
The wing grip Dash has on Applejack’s granny-handling list feels especially awkward. I think it’s a combination of angle and how stretched out the wing is.
Goldie Delicious has cats on leashes. I can’t tell if that’s impressive or hopelessly optimistic.
I also can’t tell if Apple Rose is really that deaf or just pretends to be.
I’m a bit surprised Dash didn’t try to push, pull, or blow the balloon to Las Pegasus. Still, given the distances involved, that probably would’ve been a lot to ask even of her.
Didn’t catch that the air traffic stallion was an alicorn until I rewatched the episode but… Yeah, that’s a horn and wings right there. For several seconds. We’re just going to ignore that…
I admit, I’m surprised that the Flimflam brothers are still running that hotel. And that they've invested enough back into it that they’re on the doors, the central fountain, and even the design of the building itself (complete with electric mustache!) They don’t usually manage to sustain a scheme this long. I guess they finally found their niche. I’m… actually legitimately happy for them. Huh. Mark another map mission with positive long-term effects.
Apparently every elderly Apple can perform a temporary face lift on herself. I’m really not sure how to take that information.
I feel so bad for that bellcolt. Not least because of how careful he had to be when taking the tip. Still, “The day is young and I am not” is a pretty fantastic line.
I do love how Apple Rose actually says “yawn” once she catches on to the ruse.
Derpcat is judging you, Dash. Derpcat is judging us all.
For the first part of the episode, I wondered why the not-a-casino was closing one of its most popular and beloved attractions. Once Dash got to it, the answer was clear: There doesn’t seem to be any additional charge for admission. With that line, it means that ponies might be spending hours not spending money. And adding a charge would probably lead to more backlash than closing the thing down. (Or it’s the Flimflams’ dubious business sense in action. One of the two.)
Also, Double reference in the line. Not only are Rick and Morty on the left, Walter White’s on the right. Given portal gun technology, the first two may not be from anywhere near this worldline bundle, but the last raises a lot of uncomfortable questions.
Horseshoes apparently take the place of blackjack, only with a carnival barker involved.
I do have to appreciate Gordon Ramsey pony yelling at an actual donkey. And Cranky not just standing there and taking it. (I’m going to assume Cranky and Matilda are here for their anniversary.)
Taking the nachos after keeping them from Granny Smith? Not cool, Dash.
I feel like Vinyl’s rise to stardom is the show’s greatest story never told. She’s gone from opening for a relative unknown’s fashion show in Nowhere, Equestria to royal weddings, Manehattan party palaces, and the greatest hotel on the Las Pegasus Strip. Ponyville really has become the place where nobodies become notables.
Subtle bit of continuity: Seems Svengallop hasn’t covered from losing Coloratura, given how he's sulking in that booth on the far right.
Loose mane Granny Smith makes me deeply uncomfortable.
Huh. Ladies and gentlemen, I think we’ve found Trixie’s father, or at least some manner of older male relative. Though Jim Miller’s comments on the matter are… rather distressing.. If you take them seriously, anyway, and with Big Jim, that’s usually not a good idea.
Also, Trixie-Dad’s partner is an earth pony. Always nice to see that stage magic isn’t limited to the horned.
Speaking of Trixie, it’s been almost a hundred and seventy episodes since “Boast Busters,” and Rainbow Dash still doesn’t understand how magic shows work.
Trying to get out of an awkward moment with a smoke bomb. Jack Pot (or possibly Big Bucks) is definitely related to Trixie somehow.
Unfortunate bit of dialogue: Goldie Delicious says the Gold Horseshoe Gals have been coming to Las Pegasus every moon for as long as they can remember, despite the multiple times it’s established as an annual trip elsewhere in the episode. I’m just going to chalk that one up to an editing slip-up. Or Goldie hitting the bar offscreen.
Aw, no chess.
What are you winking for, ghost head Applejack? You’re the one who nearly ruined everything. (And I do love how “Applejack made me do it” was a perfectly acceptable explanation for Dash’s wet blanket behavior.)
A good unspoken lesson with this one: Communicate your desires and concerns. Otherwise, how is anyone else supposed to understand why you do what you do, or how to help you do it? The funny thing is that this plot wouldn’t have worked in the early days of the show; Dash probably would’ve blurted out her desire to ride the Wild Blue Yonder from the word go, to say nothing of throwing out Applejack’s list. Her growing senses of consideration and responsibility come with some consequences.
So yeah, as stated earlier, I liked this one. The conflict may be manufactured, but it’s manufactured diegetically, and the motivations involved feel natural: Applejack doesn’t want her family hurting themselves and Dash doesn’t want to miss her only remaining opportunity for a huge thrill that every Wonderbolt should experience. (I've seen some people say that Applejack was being a troll, but I don't buy that. Going by both her sincerity and the Gold Horseshoe Gals' reactions, it's clear that she's been a perennial mood killer for the Las Pegasus trip. Probably the same protective drive behind "Somepony To Watch Over Me.") All told, this was fun.
And now, time for the show to really begin:
Closing Attraction W
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant artifact or enchantment
At the beginning of the end step of enchanted permanent’s controller, that player sacrifices that permanent.
All things, good or bad, come to an end.
Voice of Obligation 2W
Creature — Spirit
W, T: Tap target creature.
Even mortals’ consciences turned against them in the Kami War, guilt draining the will to fight.
2/2
Lovely Assistant 1U
Creature — Pony Wizard
T: Add C. Spend this mana only to cast a Wizard spell or activate an ability of a Wizard.
Behind every great conjurer is something to draw attention away from his sleight of hoof.
1/1
Same Old Story 1U
Instant
Draw a card.
Whenever you cast a historic spell, you may cast Same Old Story from your graveyard. (Artifacts, legendaries, and Sagas are historic.)
“I was wearing an onion ‘round my neck, which was the fashion at the time…”
Single-Minded Focus 1U
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature you control
Enchanted creature gets +2/+2 and has hexproof.
At the beginning of your end step, if you didn’t attack with a creature this turn, sacrifice Single-Minded Focus.
Dimensional Wanderer 2U
Creature — Pony Scientist
Whenever you cast a noncreature spell, you may exile target creature you control. Return that card to the battlefield under its owner’s control at the beginning of the next end step.
”Relax, he’ll be fine. Probably.”
1/3
Las Pegasus Barker 2U
Creature — Pony Citizen
Whenever you roll a six-sided die, draw a card. If you roll a 3 or lower, discard a card.
”Try your luck! Test your skill! You could be the one to take home the jackpot!”
1/2
Splashtastic Escape 3U
Instant
For each color, each player returns a creature they control of that color to its owner’s hand.
A death-defying feat made only slightly less impressive by the covertly cast gill spell.
Las Pegasus Mentalist 4U
Creature — Unicorn Wizard
When Las Pegasus Mentalist enters the battlefield, choose a nonland card name. Target opponent reveals their hand. If a card with the chosen name is revealed this way, draw two cards.
In a world with actual telepathy, those who eschew it are that much more impressive.
3/3
Witchweed Chemist 2B
Creature — Pony Scientist Rogue
At the beginning of your upkeep, you draw a card and get a poison counter.
”That’s the thing about this stuff. You feel like you could conquer the world right up until your heart stops.”
2/1
Lucky Toss 2R
Instant
Choose target creature or planeswalker, then roll a six-sided die. Lucky Toss deals damage equal to the result to that permanent.
Sometimes the only thing a horseshoe symbolizes is an impending concussion.
A Night to Forget 2R
Sorcery
Draw three cards. At the beginning of the next end step, discard your hand.
Sometimes what happens in Las Pegasus doesn’t stay anywhere.
Saucy Nag 3R
Creature — Pony Elder
When Saucy Nag enters the battlefield, untap target nonhistoric creature. Gain control of that creature until end of turn. It gains haste until end of turn.
Centuries of experience best left undescribed.
2/1
Prance Prance Revolution 3RR
Sorcery
Choose a creature type. Untap all creatures of the chosen type you don’t control. Gain control of them until end of turn. They gain haste until end of turn.
By the time the song ended and the dancers realized what they were doing, the entire city was in ruins.
Goldie’s Stowaways 2G
Sorcery
Create a 1/1 green Cat creature token for each artifact target player controls.
The question isn’t whether the cat in the box is dead or alive. The question is how many friends it has with it.
Hit the Buffet 2G
Instant
Until end of turn, all creatures gain “T: You gain 2 life.”
”In my time, we struggled to feed everypony even in the best of times. To see such bounty presented so carelessly is stunning.”
—Somnambula, Pillar of Hope
Substitute Teacher 3G
Creature — Pony Advisor
Whenever a spell or ability an opponent controls causes you to discard one or more cards, you may draw up to that many cards.
If a spell or ability an opponent controls causes you to discard Substitute Teacher, put it onto the battlefield instead of putting it into your graveyard.
3/3
Ponderous Balloon 2
Artifact — Vehicle
Flying, defender
Tap an untapped creature you control: Ponderous Balloon loses defender until end of turn.
Crew 2 (Tap any number of creatures you control with total power 2 or more: This Vehicle becomes an artifact creature until end of turn.)
4/3
Golden Gateway 3
Artifact
Whenever a creature attacks you or a planeswalker you control, put a charge counter on Golden Gateway unless attacking player pays 1.
T, Remove X charge counters from Golden Gateway: Add X colorless mana.
Lasso Snag (rg)
Instant
Target creature gets +1/+1 and gains reach until end of turn.
”Faust made ponies. Rope made ponies equal.”
—Applejack, Bearer of Honesty
Gold Horseshoe Gals 1(gu)W
Creature — Pony Elder
Protection from converted mana cost 5 or less (Nothing with converted mana cost 5 or less can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)
“We don’t hunt whales in this business. We farm them.”
—Flim Flimflam
2/2
The Las Pegasus Strip
Legendary Land
Extort (Whenever you cast a spell, you may pay (wb). If you do, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain that much life.)
T: Add C.
1, T: Add W or B.
All the fun you can afford and more.
I find myself wondering why the 'bolts are wearing their flight suits in those photos. Were they on the job?
I thought this was an entertaining enough episode. But maybe the most striking thing for me is how it underlined that Granny Smith almost never has any interaction with anyone outside of her granddaughters. There's an entire world of main character interactions that's never been explored.
did you catch that, after the bellhop takes the bit from auntie applesauce, she looks right at his ass as he walks away
derpicdn.net/img/view/2018/4/14/1707697.gif
this was easily the most sexually charged episode of the show. and it involved a bunch of old mares.
man, I REALLY want to see some episodes focused around the pillars adapting to modern equestria
I've been saying going in to this one that it sounded like the weirdest episode ever. I was not disappointed. And I loved every minute of it!
4840574
Auntie Applesauce was a serious hoot. XD I can't believe I saw that kind of behavior on this show.
Ha! That's a much better interpretation. Headcanon accepted. ^^
Whoa, I never noticed that at all. How the hell did that get through?
No way, loose mane Granny is hella metal
4840574
Have you seen Golden Girls? This is tame by comparison.
Ponyville's weather team has functioned without Rainbow Dash for quite some time now. Something like 70% of all pegasi have weather-related special talents, so it's not as if she was the only mare for the job. Literally any weather-talent pegasus can do what Rainbow was doing, and weather isn't even her special talent. In fact, I'm pretty sure she quit the weather team as far back as season 4.
Alternately, it sets Goldie Delicious up as a retroactive Sondra Huxtable situation. (For those of you too young to remember The Cosby Show back when it first came along, in season one, Cliff and Claire had a conversation which went like this:
"Remind me again why we had four children?"
"Because we didn't want five."
And then, in the second season, they suddenly had five, only the fifth was their oldest who didn't exist in season one.)
Or maybe it just cures cranky flank.
It's also a Doctor Who reference, believe it or not, only it took me a day to realize it. It's a riff on the episode "Blink", and Billy Shipton's line "Life is long and you are hot."
A LOT of them, yes. Especially since his Cutie Mark is crystal meth.
That, or Vinyl Scratch is actually a herd of clones and there's one in every town in Equestria. Which, given her pale skin, red eyes, and short blue hair...
Apparently, Apple Bloom isn't the only one who's been on the wrong end of Applejack's helicopter parenting.
4840574
Old women are horny and have positively FILTHY minds. So this is hardly surprising.
Wings (and for that matter forelegs) in Equestrians bend in ways that the real joints shouldn't. I've just come to accept it by now.
I just googled it. A hinny is a crossbreed between a male horse and a female donkey. If they were going for alliteration, Granny Smith could have said “horses,” which would be bit more accurate.
I wondered about that, too. It's possible that Goldie Delicious is a new addition to the Golden Horseshoe Gals trips. Maybe she didn't go before this year because she didn't know the hotel was pet friendly?
Party Pony skills or quick life infusion? I'm certain we can work this feat into an earth magic headcanon of some kind.
That part made me cringe so hard. I have to wonder how people would react to that scene if the genders were reversed.
On the other hand, it's a goldmine for fanfic writing.
Good point. It feels like Applejack was actually the one who needed to learn the lesson that old people are cool and can handle themselves better than you expect, but then we wouldn't have gotten the conflict of the chaperone feeling torn between riding the rollercoaster before it closes and keeping the older ponies out of trouble . . . even though I'm still not sure why a daredevil pegasus would want to ride a rollercoaster.
Still, I enjoyed this episode despite a few nitpicks. There were some hilarious moments and enough variety to keep any running gag from overstaying its welcome.
4840661
she prob wouldn't care about it at all, but "You can't really call yourself a wonderbolt if you haven't been on it", so of course dash immediately become obsessed with it.
May want to change that to "choose a nonland card name." Otherwise when playing against say a mono-white deck saying "I choose Plains" can be a comically safe bet.
4840666
Also, having things done to you is a different experience than doing them to yourself. So a coaster wouldn't feel the same as stunt flying.
Trixie having a famous deadbeat dad is both tragic and makes a lot of sense about her crippling insecurity, especially if she knows who he is. It's great story fodder.
I really hope that comment is canon and that the show Goes There next season. It'll be great.
I'm glad I'm not the only one.
As to the whole teaching thing, we don't know how often the each teach classes. Definitely does not seem like an everyday thing for all of them. If anything, I'd suspect only Twilight and Starlight are actually there every school day, with the rest taking turns, maybe only having two or three classes a week.
The ride closing down, could just be it's old and wearing out, and rather then pay to keep it maintained and fixed up, it's time to just tear it down and put up something new.
And yes, this was a really really fun ep. But it still does not solve the greatest mystery of Las Pegasus. What the buck is that machine with the mare in a bubble for?
4840732 Not really a 'deadbeat dad'. Given how Jim described it, sounds more likely to have been a one night stand or something, where her mom never actually came back and told him. You can't really be a 'deadbeat' father if you never know you had a kid in the first place.
Well, since you asked...
Nope, not even close. I may or may not have systematically combed over every single Wonderbolt appearance in the name of fanfic preparation no I don't have a problem
To be fair we've had the Big Lebowski crew and several other family unfriendly cameos.
4840638
She still does weather stuff. And I doubt it was a reference more than it just being funny.
4840753
"My what? I didn't think I had one."
Yeah, if the guy being Trixie's dad becomes canon, I'm going to make it my fic's canon that Special Effect is Trixie's step-dad, but she either doesn't know or doesn't care.
I've already decided that the Rainbow Blitz (though, strictly speaking, I should rename him Rainbow Blaze) and Firefly in my fic are actually Dash's aunt and uncle, who don't mind Dash telling people they're her parents because Blitz knows what his brother and sister-in-law are like.
Aw man, I was so busy looking for Flim and Flam I missed the references to them
I swear, they are by far the show's most successful "villains."
This was a very fun episode for background details.
I think the idea with cat leashes is less trying to have any influence on where the little buggers decide they want to go and more establishing a maximum distance from yourself they can wander off to.
"And I suppose he won the argument, but I trotted away with turnips!"
I'm going to concur with both yourself and Rainbow Dash -- the scene where Jackpot and Big Bucks were flirting with the old ladies was... it was gross.
4840847
Ooh, I can work with this headcanon!
4840574
Oh my sweet merciful Lord, I hadn't caught that. And she bites her lip, too!
I was hoping one of the cast from Golden Girls was a guest voice actor. Probably too much to hope for.
I'm wondering if you haven't played the pony CCG before, because it's amusing that Substitute Teacher here has several of the same abilities that some of the Applejack cards in the other game has, when Sub is a direct reference to what Applejack became this episode.
Also, when speaking to one of my roommates earlier, she pointed out that the dark blue pegasus stallion in front of the Morty pony is supposedly a reference to Jack Harkness (I'm not a Dr. Who fan, so I'd have to do some heavy reserch to verify), and the orange mare with the light pink mane and tail is supposedly a reference to Minecraft (with her cutie mark being an Ender Portal; again, I'm not down with Minecraft, so I had to take her word for it). Possibly something more to look into for those two additional references, but for someone else who cares more.
This week's episode was definitely amusing to watch.
4840571
I can only assume that Gladmane (or whoever was in charge of the hotel at the time) asked them to wear the suits on the coaster as a publicity stunt. (No relation to the Wonderbolts' PR manager, though I hope they brought her along.)
4840577
Agreed on Pillar episodes. And if the writers don't follow through on it, that's where we can step in.
4840611
On a Magic color/Bearer of Harmony pentagon (with Twilight in the center,) Applejack (green) is opposite Rarity and Pinkie Pie (blue and black respectively.) The reasons for the former are obvious and have been explored in detail even by the show. The reason for the latter is a bit more subtle: Applejack is death to fun.
And on the topic of more helpful interpretations, thanks for giving me a more palatable way to look at loose-mane Granny Smith. I can always appreciate more support for her roadie days in either universe.
4840638
Ah, the reverse Chuck Cunningham, only with added paradox. Probably a sign that thinking about this one too long will make one's brain turn inside out.
If that's the case, how do we order it in bulk and apply it to Internet forums?
And now I'd like to think that one clone escaped the Reiquarium and went on to rock the Tokyo-3 scene as DJ L17ITH. (That's pronounced "deejay screw you, Akagi.")
4840661
It would've been nice to have an ending scene where the five Gold Horseshoe Gals told off Applejack... though it's also possible that she was speaking from the experience of past trips where overexcitement, dance floor mishaps, denture incidents, and/or simple exhaustion ended the party early. We never really got a sense of how merited Applejack's concern was.
4840685
Pretty much what I expected, yes.
4840717
... and then your opponent reveals a Flagstones of Trokair and two Emeria, the Sky Ruins.
But yeah, good call. Adjustment made.
4840732
We shall see. Even if they don't, it's 24-karat fan fiction fodder.
4840753
Entirely reasonable possibilities for closing the ride... though given that these are the Flimflams making the decision, we can't assume there's any kind of reasonable business sense at work.
4840792
Well, I did ask. Thank you for providing the fruits of your meticulous and not at all concerning research.
4840802
Good point. If the MLP staff can slip in the Jesus, then a meth-marked Heisenberg isn't that much of a leap.
4840847
Both reasonable decisions. Blaze and Firefly are probably at the head of the effort to hide any and all knowledge of Dash's exploits from her parents. (Up until Scootaloo destroys the facade, anyway.)
4840926
Remember, Twilight even said that theirs was the most disastrous assault on Equestria in "The Cutie Re-Mark." ("Each more terrible than the last," and they were the last!)
4841399
Huh. I have some inkling of the MLP CCG, but I had no idea I'd managed to reflect some actual Applejack card abilities. Neat!
4841736
The CCG is pretty cool ngl.
I can't wait until Scootaloo's lesbian aunts appear in the show.
I went in hoping for more Flim and Flam, but Trixie's dad is an acceptable substitute.
There's a typo in Ponderous Balloon: It says Crew 2, but the reminder text says total power 1.
Bwahahahahaha.... Oh god, someone has to write this!
Coming waaaaaay from the future, but shouldn't Ponderous Balloon either have Crew 1 or have reminder text specifying total power 2 or more?
I've been reading through your FiCG articles and enjoying them. Once I have non-mobile web access again, I'll go back and add some comments if you like.
5623354
Feel free to add more comments if you'd like.
Hey, better late than never. Thanks for the catch, and glad to hear you're enjoying the dig through the archive.
5623362
Looks like Tzardok beat me to it ages ago. Nonetheless, more comments you shall have once my turn comes around again!