The Rumor Come Out: Does Rainbow Dash Is Gay? · 12:26am Feb 12th, 2017
Rainbow Dash is gay is the most discussed in the news papers in the few years ago. Even it has happened in 2017, but some of the public still curious about what is exactly happened and to be the reason there is a rumor comes out about her gay. The public, especially her fans are shocked. She just came out with her bad rumor which is spread massively. This time is not about her stunt career, but her bad rumor. The rumor is out of standardize of hoax, according the last reported this flyer revealed herself as homosexual. Do you still believe or not, this rumor is really much talked about by ponies even in a filly of her fans.
This rumor comes out to the public and to be headline news topic in the Canterlot news papers. According to a Murdocks report, she makes the confession that she is a gay. Believe it or not, but at the time she said that confession, it was National Prank Day which is called as Celestia's Mob or You Are Fools Day. At that moment she also talked well that she did not make a joke. She just said that "The timing is bad, I had not realized it was Celestia's Mob, but it has been pointed out, of myself, I do not want to go too public with this," as mentioned in Murdocks report she just said. The word of two public makes some ponies curious in the stables, she was incredibly sad and ashamed of her confession. She is a talented flyer and egotist, but everything can be ruined rapidly with the rumor that Rainbow Dash is gay.
The public is already smashed with the rumor which is hung on their mind. The rumor became the most tacked-up topic on notice boards at that time. Especially stallion fans, they are really disappointed of her confession of joy. However, everything goes well, as normal as the first time because she came back with her new confession that the rumor was a lie. In fact, Rainbow Dash is success to tricked lots of ponies and made her the most tacked-up topic for Equestria continent wide. Rainbow Dash is gay is just a hoax.
If it is happening for real and Rainbow Dash is gay for sure, her career might be terrible in the future. Unfortunately, the fans are already criticized in the news papers that give a confession as a mare in her bright career is a big fault and to be a mare is a bad thing to be exposed in the news papers. In fact, she is not a mare and she admires stallions as the beautiful thing in the world. It is shown through the first stunt of her second Wondrous Bolted performance which is entitled Lightning Out The Wazoo. This song has truly got inspiration by Spit Fire. She admits this is true and she just thought her fiancee' is not offended by her stunt. Now everything is clear enough that this is not true about Rainbow Dash is gay.
The next time I see a "Rainbow comes out" story, I am so pasting this.
Twilight: "So, Rainbow. I read it in the paper and I just had to ask if it was true. Are you gay?"
RD: "I dunno. Is it awesome? Because if it is, I'm totally gay."
Twilight: "No, it's not awesome, it's--"
RD: "Then I must not be gay, because I'm awesome. You knew that already, so why did you have to ask?"
Twilight: "No, you can be awesome and gay. Come to think about it, you just about have to be gay to be fabulous, I suppose."
RD: Then I must be gay because I'm awesome and fabulous. Fabulous is good, right?"
Twilight: "Yes! It's... well, fabulous." (sigh) "Never mind. I'm going to go get drunk."
Ah, I remember back when I first heard this one. Good times...
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I also found this today: a T-shirt of the ponified Game Grumps.
When interests collide.
ETA the (very non-pony) animated version of the original episode.
Having read that...
...I am now confused about my own sexuality.
...and I have a headache.
(I am now imagining RD walking around saying, "Not that there's anything wrong with that.")
Can we favorite blog posts yet? No? Dangit.
4418529
Does Brumby Run is migraine?
(It gets worse.)
This isn't bad grammar. This is weaponized grammar
Where da Tartarus this come from?
and does it really matter? (Actually always regarded her as just Bi anyway, covers a lot of ground easier)
(Ooh that makes my grammar missile trigger finger itchy.
and my moustache.)
Edit: Ah now I see the link at the bottom, it makes sense now. Cool rewording.
I'm glad you've reminded me of this modern masterpiece of comedy.
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I'm tempted to use Anchor Foal and have Fleur declare Rainbow as reciprosexual: "I don't care what you're into as long as it's me."
Wow. The writer not only doesn't have command of the language, (s)he needs to go back to the academy.
I'm almost tempted to think this comes from that fandom controversy generator thing, but it's just this side of too... human?
4418559 Yeah, she may *say* that, but give RD about two weeks with somepony (male or female) who is single-sided 'into' RD to the exclusion of all else....
You know, there's probably a story prompt in there. Rainbow Dash and the Perfect Mate
Day 1: "Yeah, Twilight. She's like totally into me. We went out to dinner and she never interrupted once..."
Day 9: "She's the greatest thing, Twilight. She just moved in today and gets along with Tank perfectly..."
Day 20: "Yeah, Hi Twi. I just wanted to get out of the house for a little bit today and talk to somebody... Uh-oh, here she comes."
Day 40: "You gotta hide me, Twilight. Change my name. Give me a different face. Well, it would have to be awesome, of course."
Day 50: "Dear Princess Celestia. So, I hear you're looking for volunteers to go do diplomat stuff with the Yaks..."
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From the looks of it, it's not grammar at all. That is, the original piece exists purely for SEO purposes, - possibly, even googlebombing - and as such is not meant to be understood by anyone or anything.
Therefore it's not actually a text, so it has no grammar.
EDIT: Upon some investigation, I'm sure the original purpose of this is advanced domain squatting. All that matters to the perpetrator is search ranking, the article being nonsensical is actually a plus.
Well, whoever wrote that article is royally fired by now...
Is this even English?
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My guess is whatever language it started in was put through a knock-off "Google Translate" and sent through Greek, then German, and Swahili before getting to English...
That would make a good band name.
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Ross' special talent is being Australian. Celestia darn it, Ross.
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I take a rabbit proof of-fence to that.
lh3.googleusercontent.com/-VcrOXSqnYyE/Vv6W76E_6bI/AAAAAAABMrY/I0N9GfFJXoE/rabbit-proof-fence-82.jpg?imgmax=800
This would probably concern me more if I had even the vaguest clue as to "Who the -ING Hell is Bruno Mars? Follow up question "Why should I care?" Looking at his picture, he doesn't look like an athlete. (That's NOT Rainbow Dash, so I'm guessing it's Bruno Mars), I'm guessing he's either in show biz or a victim of the USA educational system who is suing to protest his(?) poor education.
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Is broken English. You want gay speed horse? Ivan get you bisexual rocket mule. Is much better, very legal. Import straight from motherland!
This article is using a very common journalism trick. Even though it sounds like it's "discussing" whether or not Rainbow Dash is gay, it's repeating the phrase "Rainbow Dash is gay" over and over and over. When people read newspapers, they only retain the most shocking and frequently repeated details. This isn't an article that wants to talk about Dash being gay; it's an article that wants everyone believe Dash is gay regardless of any pesky issues with truthfulness.
Next time you read an article from a newspaper or magazine, check what phrase is running through your mind when you finish reading it and see how many times it was repeated through the article. Then check what the article is supposed to be doing "unbiased" reporting on.
Sounds like what you get when you chain-translate the same text through multiple languages then back to the original using Google Translate.
--------------
Yesterday, Rainbow Dash came out to publicly state her orientation, then took off in that direction feeling very cheerful, until she changed her mind.
Ayer, Rainbow Dash salió a declarar públicamente su orientación, y luego partió en esa dirección sintiéndose muy alegre, hasta que cambió de opinión.
Hier, le Rainbow Dash est sorti de déclarer publiquement leur orientation, puis partit dans cette direction, se sentant très heureux, jusqu'à ce qu'il a changé d'avis.
Igår kom Rainbow Dash ut att offentligt förklara sin orientering, sedan gick i den riktningen, känner mycket glad, tills han ändrade sig.
昨日、虹が公に自分の方向性を宣言するために出てダッシュ、その後、彼は彼の心を変えたまでは、とても幸せを感じ、その方向に行ってきました。
Yesterday, the rainbow dash out publicly to declare his direction, then, I felt very happy until he changed his mind, I went in that direction.
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Ross' mark is for being Australian in a world where Australia doesn't exist.
Now that's talent.
(Of course, we all know it should be a mark for sadism, but what would that even look like? Other than a map of Australia.)
Far fewer people than I thought seem familiar with the original. I'm not sure if I should be surprised or concerned about my own Internet habits.
In any case, I'm pretty sure this article would be the final straw that led an angry alicorn to rain hot fuschia death down upon the offices of the Loyal Opposition.
For some reason, the worst part for me is 'Spit Fire'.
Do you think spelling mistakes in names like that leads to misidentification? Somewhere out there is an exasperated pony called Spit Fire who keeps getting Wonderbolt fan-mail... and Spitfire doesn't understand why she's always getting letters about her budding rapping career, because as far as she's concerned, that all ended in college.
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He's the singer who did Uptown Funk, if that means anything to you.
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I thought Spit Fire would be more of a traditional llama name.
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Spitfire threw the paper down and rubbed at her temples. It was going to be one of those weeks.
Argh... Not quite a word salad, but the cabbage content is high.
Anyone who tries to base a story on nothing more than a character's sexuality, deserves three meals of this every day.
So, a singer is gay? Agh! Alert the media! Oh wait, somebody did.
Big fat hairy deal. I'm old enough to remember Liberace. Oddly enough, so is the spell checker.
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That's a really useful piece of advice--thanks!
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A: A screenshot from Battle Kid
B: The CD-I
C: Just a portrait of Ross himself
Due to extensive research done by the Speculative Intelligence Institute of Canterlot, a rumor has been announced that Rainbow Dash might coming out as Gay. The research is as follows:
Harmony-protected scientists placed a Stallion in observation and shipped Rainbow Dash with him at 400 clops per hour, and Rainbow Dash was unaffected. They then placed Rainbow Dash under observation and shipped a Stallion with her at 400 clops per hour, and the Stallion didn't have any hard feelings. They then shipped Rainbow Dash with 400 clops per hour at Stallion, and there were no survivors. They shipped 400 clops per hour with Rainbow, observing a Stallion Dash. Western Manehatten was powerless for hours. They observed a Rainbow Stallion shipping Dash with 400 clops per hour, and the resulting Chaos caused Planet Equus to exist in another dimension for 400 million seconds, saving Equestria from a horde of Space Demons the size of a small Washington suburb that was hurtling towards Ponyville at 400 billion miles an hour. They shipped a Rainbow observed Stallion with Dash for 400 clops per hour in Harmony, and as a result caused over 10000 ponies to lose their cutie marks, and become fatally inept in over 10000 pony businesses in downtown Manehatten. The horror. They clopped 400 ships with Rainbow in Stallion per Dash. The results were inconclusive. Finally, they placed 400 Rainbow per hour in observation and shipped Dash with him at clops per Stallion, and the result proved with out a doubt that Rainbow Dash is Super Gay for pony girls, if not just rumored to be coming out as Gay.
I threw this together pretty quickly; same reason but this is probably even worse. I'm not sure I want it to make any logical sense when you read it.