Dear Princess Celestia *The Reason* · 8:09am Aug 25th, 2015
So I've been trying to decide whether or not it was a good idea to explain my reason for Writing Dear Princess Celestia. However after all the comments, A review, as well as touching Private messages, and an audio reading. I think I need to.
Read on to understand where Dear Princess Celestia came from.
The night I wrote Dear Princess Celestia The first draft was on notebook paper with green marker because that was all I could find in my room. Until I started writing it. Dear Princess Celestia was to be my suicide note. I don't say this to shock you or make you feel bad.
So I was in my room having sobbed my eyes out after smashing my head almost through the wall because of shame of how useless I felt. I curled into a fetal position and whispered to no one "I want to be dead"
So... I wrote Dear Princess Celestia. It's in first person because Twilight's thoughts were my own. I have... horrible fears that my friends are only my friends for what I am IE a kinda popular author of pony words Rather then who I am... I originally finished the fic with the words "The Letters i'll never send but it was to damned short.
So I got on skype a friend checked my little...story out and told me to write a blog post...To talk to the people who cared. He was my Luna.
My Celestia were all my friends ...My wonderful real friends who rallied around me. And made me smile.
And yes I have severe depression and sometimes my mask slips.
I was never expecting Dear Princess Celestia to do well.
I wrote it because I NEEDED to. The fact it has touched so many. Even helped a few is just a wonderful side effect.
I'm sorry this got rambly. I guess I just wanted you to know. I'm not writing suicide/depression fics to get attention. I did it because I wasn't ready to write my own suicide note.
Yours
FE
Sleep well everyone, I will because for tonight at least I know my friends are real.
*Jumbled hugs and snuggles you* AND I COMMAND YOU ALL TO DO THE SAME!
Hugs, Foals.
Very sad to hear you are not doing well, I know from second hand experience what constant chronic pain, along with everything else you've been going through lately, can do to a person. I see it a lot in my wife (whose ailments are eerily similar to hers I suspect you might be her twin some how!)
Keep on fighting, you are loved, and you do have friends. You have people who would miss you.
You have stories you need to finthat is neither here nor there… but yeah. Keep fighting, and if you need us, I am sure many of us would be happy to lend a sympathetic ear.Where's is your husband? His wife needs a hug stat!
Oh my....
There are times that I have felt the same way, but to be completely honest, I see life and the greatest game ever played. To win is to live life to the fullest, and to remember that, even on the darkest days, there is always going to be a better tomorrow. We may not know which tomorrow that will be, but it will come. For years, I was bullied, and am still recovering from that. I'm more trustful of people on the internet than I am of people I know personally, save a select few. My tomorrow came when I hit Grade 7, as all the bullying seemed to stop, and things have been slowly looking up since then.
I'm glad that something written under such a negative premise has such a positive effect for you. I admit I may not know you as well as I might like to, as I like to get to know my favorite authors, be they writers of fanfiction, or writers of canon. I often never work up the courage to, or never want to for fear of what might be said.
Considering all this, I'd like to get to know you better, Foals Errand, and to share my ideals with you in the hope I can help you out.
Sincerely,
John Winter
I fear I could not enjoy the story. Do to the fact I also suffer from depression. All it did was make think of my own past regrets then I wished I was dead. My Little Dashie does the same thing. But rather down vote it. I did not vote because I feel a story should not be determined by the readers emotions. Trust me I know how you feel.
Just remember to have fun sometimes, ok. Smile! The darkest of times are when friends need to force their biggest smiles. We will always be there for you. Period.
I can... commiserate with you on those feeling, and am very sorry you're feeling them. *Hugs*
3345813
Yes! *joins the hug*
*Hugs* Knowing some of your friends, I don't think any of them are friends with you since you're just a popular author. You have a lot of great ones. Heck, without you, I'd be in a much worse place. You helped me get through a pretty rough time in my life and I can't thank you enough for that. You're an amazing person and an amazing friend.
I do hope everything gets better for you. If there's any way I can help, I'm just one message away.
Hi, Foals
I feel as I have let you down. I started to read 'Dear Princess Celestia ' when I saw you post it and then became busy with IRL. I should have realized what it was, coming from you. It's why I enjoy your stories so much. They are are part of you and it shows in every word you write. I'm sorry I didn't see that then and feel I've failed you. I'm very happy you chose to write your feelings instead of acting on them....the world would be an emptier, sadder place without Foals to share it with. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels that way.
I know we've never met except for here but I consider you a friend and will always be here if you need one, too. I.do know how it is, at least in part. I too have depression and the struggles that go with it. Please know you are loved by all who know you both here and personally. You are great for both who and what you are: a wonderful person!
Ooooh wow, didn't know that...
3345813
I, the King of Goobers, accept this proclamation!
ALL THE HUGS MUST BE GIVEN!
*hugs the author/OP*
I feel ya, I was depressed for a bit... like I said in my comment, but having good friends and such helped me past that. I still get a bit sad, but remembering them helps me a lot.
I enjoyed the story, because it really shows something.
So... I hope you get more hugs soon, and I hope you're doing well.
HUGS!
*HUGS*
I don't know you and I doubt I ever will but even so my thoughts are with you. I wish you good luck and may fate ever smile upon you.
Thank you.
3345830 The read is worth the pain it causes and it will cause pain..
If this story helped you through a particularly nasty night, then I'm glad you wrote it.
3346252 But that sounds like a terrible reason!
3346943 We all deal our pain differently. I need a release from time to time and sad stories are mine. It keeps my depression at bay Most of the time. But anywho. I don't just read sad stuff I mix it up with light hearted works as well.
3346983 *Hugs*
I haven't read it yet, but it is on my radar. However, I just wanted to offer you some support and a hoof in friendship. *hugs* You are not alone, and I am glad that you are still here with us all.
I thought so. It felt very personal, and I'm very grateful you found so much support and love when it counted. Thank you for sharing the opinion, and know that you can count me as a person to talk to as well if you need it.
Life is a struggle, it has its ups and downs, but keep on fighting because if you think you are useless you are wrong, everybody had his or hers goals in their lives, and I think the ups are worth the downs you pay in life, so keep on living fello!
...for every word you write...
...will change someone ...
...even just a little...
...it is still change...
Ehrm... wow... that. Kinda left me speechless, ehm...
Shit, now I feel heavy... but... also relieved, ya know? I mean... This blog wouldn't be here if you carried the intent of Dear Princess through, eh?
Wait, that's... that's a... bad way to put it... fuck, don't know a better way to say it...
Just... just stay here, 'kay?
Boy, now I feel really sad and speechless. But I can understand, that some stories need to be written, because a person has to get things out of his mind. I am glad, you felt better after you wrote it and I am glad, your friends acknowledge you. Do not give up!