TSCO a Disappointment? · 12:43pm Feb 5th, 2015
I get the feeling that the latest chapter of Twilight's Secret, Celestia's Obsession seems to have disappointed quite a few readers with the direction it is going in. People have expressed to me that the fact that the story has been given some darker themes has ruined it, that it is a completely different story.
The reason that I have done so is I was attempting to inject some world building and character development into what had originally been a normal 'Twi and Tia have sexy fun times' story. A long time ago I heard the saying PWP, which normally stood for 'porn without plot', but another fanfic author from a different fandom I once belonged to summarized it much better: porn WITH plot. With TSCO I was attempting to write a romance story in a fantasy setting, beginning with the romance and eventually incorporating more elements of fantasy, while keeping the underlying tones the same. I may have failed at that though.
To be honest, I could cut out all the darker themes from the story, but it would completely gut the entire thing, turning it from several dozen or more planned chapters to a paltry dozen, if that, and remove almost all the character/plot development, world building, and any conflict whatsoever beyond the tired trope of 'Celestia hates herself because she's an old bag'.
But I am writing this blog post because I want to know what you, the reader, thinks. Was anything beyond chapter one complete garbage? Or do you want to see where this crazy train of dark fantasy romance takes you?
this is a good story getting better al the time so want to see where this goes thanks for the new chapter.
keep the plot (note: at this time i have yet to read new chapter
) if i wanted smut with no plot id watch a porn.
keep it going, this is an interesting premise on celestia's pas, so far I like it
I like it better this way actually, plot of both kinds is better than plot of only one kind
Hello! I will be honest here and say that Chapter 3 was interesting. "Life is not perfect."
While on the surface everything looks Ok, if you just stop and think ... just think and not truly search for the more grueling reality you will see that everything is a lot more grey. There is an old seeing that fits perfectly here. IGNORANCE IS BLISS.
So in conclusion i believe that this story needs this tip of chapters where you describe how it truly feels to be a good leader. Because every good leader has some blood on his/her hands.
I honestly am enjoying both sides of the equation, but I will give some advice on how to avoid this sort of thing:
Your porn and your plot should actually be related.
Your Celestial backstory is undoubtably interesting and fairly unique, but it really has practically nothing to do with the situation at hand. At this point, at least, it does not actually add anything relevant to the story - it's just an infodump that could effectively be published as an entirely seperate, unrelated story, and neither story would be significantly diminished.
And people who come to read your story for the Futa-twilestia funtimes are going to feel a little jarred when they get a dark history lesson instead, as it kind of comes out of nowhere. You advertised porn, provided plot.
If you have already planned, or can find a way, to work Celestia's history into the current situation beyond "Cheer up sad Celestia with sex", that would be very good, but if you plan to lean this more towards the plot side, it would probably be a good idea to update your fic description accordingly so people know what to expect. :)
One way or another, keep writing! As I said, I'm enjoying both sides of the result.
It really depends. In general, when you change too much, you risk alienating pretty much every of your readers. There's a reason why they chose to read this story and if this reason isn't there anymore, you can't expect them to like it. Depending on the circumstances, it might be better to start a new story altogether, instead of changing an existing one.
People are disappointed with a direction of a story because they didn't know that it would go into this direction beforehand. The reason for that is the creator didn't indicate it well, either in the description or the previous chapters. While this isn't necessarily a bad thing, there are quite some good stories that go from light-hearted to dark after a while, it's still something to consider.
In this particular case, it seems that it changed direction with the third chapter. That's very early and the chapters, while not tiny, aren't huge. It really makes we wonder why you didn't indicate where the story goes earlier. That early in the story, it wouldn't be much of a spoiler and people knew what to expect.
Failing to communicate where your story goes is a good way to attract an audience you don't want and alienate an audience that might enjoy your story a lot.
BTW, what's with the PWP stuff? I mean, how is making up a meaning for an acronym, that is the opposite of the original meaning, a "better summarization"?
I like the world building
I've only just started reading the latest chapter, but what I have read seems interesting. If clop stories aren't going to be short little things, I prefer them to have some actual plot, worldbuilding, characterization, etc.
i rather enjoyed it, i'd say keep it as intended
Oh. So it's one of those stories that will never be completed. For the record, I do prefer clop with plot but knowing that the story will mostly likely forever remain incomplete, with a dozen or more plot threads hanging... makes me want to read a WAFF instead.
I liked this last chapter. Keep it as is!
I like world building and making good characters, but don't go so far that you may ruin the characters. I actually haven't read a good sex and plot story in quite a while, it'd be nice to see you continue on with this story.
I'll get back to you on that... I kinda needed to re-read the second chapter, so I haven't gotten to the third...
In my humble opinion I think you should keep it as it is. I really enjoyed the chapter and I'm very interested in seeing where this story will go.
Sincerely
Sliverstain
I liked it as is. Most of the stories that I've read with Celestia as one of the main players either don't have a back story for her, the back story is very vague or its all sunshine and rainbows.
I personally liked the darker turn, it was a surprising twist on Celestia's usual backstory, and it was well written and you managed to create a villain that was even worse then Pony POV Discord, and those who have read it know what I mean. Basically, I like it, I admit, I did come for the porn, yes. But I'm more then willing to keep reading it not just for fun sexy times, but for a story. The choice is ultimately yours, but I will keep reading your story either way.
Okay. I originally had no intention of reading this latest chapter because you said flat out that there would be no sexy time in it. Now, that I have read this blog, I don't think I will at all. I try to make a point of asking about Dark tags before I read any mature story. I tend not to like them. I don't remember that tag being there when I first read this story. Now I must ask, how Dark is this story going to get? If it gets too dark, I will have to abandon ship because that is not why I started reading and fav'ed this story.
Personally a little dark can make the light times even brighter. So basically, I like it. Keep on going.
Continue. Just... spread the sex out a little bit if its going to be a long winded one. You can either be all clop, or a story with sex scenes in it. All I can say.
Personally I enjoyed the third chapter. Part of that, I suppose, was the vast amount of time in between which created a buffer between the switch from clop to plot. In the future, the only thing I'd recommend is better integration of the two so it doesn't feel like a jarring transition, which the very end of the third chapter definitely felt like.
Well I liked the turn you took with it. It's certainly made it more interesting to me at least.
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Pretty much this. I will say, I'd probably have liked it dialed back just a tad (to about maybe an 8 or 9 instead of the 11 it's at,) but mainly just because there's no bookending of this chapter yet to tie it to the main plot.
Dungeon Maestro, darling,
I've been in the same boat. Sort of. One of my stories took a turn in a later chapter that many readers didn't care for. It wasn't quite to this level, but I hope to share my experience.
Keep going. Write the story you want to tell and let readers make their own decision. If there is really a problem (and there was, in my case, because the original version of the chapter didn't... explain things too well. I needed to revise it), fix the problem. If readers just aren't liking part of your story because it's not what they expected or they don't like certain things in their stories, then sacrificing your story for them isn't going to make your story better.
honestly, I think it has alot to do with the timing. I wont blame you for the long break, But i theorize that the super long gap in time between the chapters has left many readers of the story less flexible to any planned tone changes in the story.
What's with all the down votes on my comment? I simply said that I avoid the Dark tag on mature stories and this story didn't have one when I first fav'ed it. Sheesh.
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I think what people misunderstand is that, yes I did add the dark tag, but it will not be the sole focus of the story, as you can see by the romance and most importantly comedy tags. Yes I admit there will be some scenes of violence, but it's not like I'm going to describe in gruesome detail how a man's intestines exploded out of his mouth. To be honest, I wouldn't have added the dark tag at all if not for people saying I should. So yes, dark tag is a thing, but as far as I'm aware there will be no gore tag or anything like that. I may use some flowery verbiage when describing what few violent scenes there will be though, but still no oral gut explosions.
Eh. Speaking personally, you took something more lighthearted and spun dark, and now you have tragedy. I already removed it from my reading list. Not what I was looking for in the first place when I first read it (Been a long while, but I know it had no tones or hints at that direction at all). So, yeah, good for you for wanting a plot, but I'm not sticking around to see you spin it. Not with dark and tragedy on it now.
To throw my 2 bits into the lake that is this post; generally I do not like Dark themes within these types of stories; but I have to say; this is EASILY an exception; one of the blaring plot holes I find in the show is the true origin of the Sisters; and I accept any sort of head canon to that effect (unless it is completely ridiculous, which this isn't). Long ramble short: keep this in last chapter in and don't change it, if only for the fact that IMO this deepens the relationship that Celestia and Twilight have already. But of course that is only one persons opinion, I'm not gonna tell you how to write your story; keep up the good work.
I like it the way it is. If you have a vision for your story, keep in mind it is YOUR story. If you want to write to get the most views/likes, then by all means change it for the majority of people, but if you have a story to tell, tell it in your words and in your way :)
I loved the character development and world building. The world is a dark place. Look at hitler or war- do we simply pretend none of it happened because we don't like it? That would be absurd!
2773055 A lot of times, when a Dark tag is added to a mature story, there are instances of the type of violence that can piss someone off in a heartbeat, at the very least. I try to avoid that when possible. The Tragedy tag also concerns me, because that usually means something horrific happens and/or there will NOT be a happy ending at the end.
In any case, thank you for clearing that up for me.
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Well I'm not sure why I put tragedy on there now. I have removed it. Just thought I was being proactive. Probably a bit of an over action on my part. As for not wanting to stick around, that's entirely your decision. I am saddened you decided to leave after only a single chapter, but I will respect your choice.
I'm surprised there's been this much of a reaction from one slightly dark chapter.
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The tragedy tag has been removed. And just to assuage your fears, there will be NO rape or anything of the kind.
I do really like the third chapter, I like the character growth and you had made some small hints toward Celestia's issues, but I do agree with what some have already said that it doesn't feel entirely connected to what has already happened. Which just makes me want to read where this is going to find out how it's connected, at this juncture though it does feel a little disjointed.
If I had one slight disappointment (and it might be what others are having a problem with) it's that I really like your sense of humour. It's what got me hooked and kinda why I keep checking daily for new chapters. And though there were a couple jokes this wasn't a chapter that could really be as funny. I certainly don't think there's anything wrong with "Serious Talk" chapters and a change of tone can help a story a lot, making a funny character deeper knowing how hard it is for them to smile etc. etc. I like that the story isn't one note, which would get tiresome but I can see how others would be concerned.
No matter what I can't wait to see where the story is going and can't wait for the promised sexytimes and I hope you keep writing what you want to write, it's your story and why should you be affected by the opinions of commenters like me.
ps. Thinking back on it all the funniest scenes had Luna in them so maybe I really just want more Luna, because everything's better with Luna.