Dear Skype: · 7:53am Aug 11th, 2013
Dear Skype:
Your program sucks balls.
I love your program.
I love how it takes 5 minutes to load up.
I love how it insists I'm offline, when in reality, I have a full fucking connection.
I love how it like to delay any and all possible messages I get by, if not a day, then at least an hour.
I love how it deletes my contacts on occasion and forces me to re add them.
I love when it deletes conversations on a whim.
I love how loading a single message gives it a heart attack.
I love your Auto Correct feature... I really love that thing.
I just loooove how it insists it knows the right way I want to spell a word.
I even love how it insists it knows what word I'm going to type next.
But do you know what I love most of all?
I love how it corrects my word while I'm still typing it. Oh yes. I just loooooooove that bit.
In fact... I doubt there is a soul alive who'd think it was built by a bunch of mentally depraved and inbred sub-human monkeys! Nope. Not. One. Soul.
Yessir... I hope you never change. Because, really, there's nothing to change. You work juuuuuust fiiiiiine. Not a single problem in sight! How many can say that, eh?
Your forced faithful user:
~Skeeter The Lurker
P.S. If you believed any of that... Go jump off of a cliff.
It gets even better on Windows 8
1276898
I don't even...
~Skeeter The Lurker
I have never had a problem with skype. I've only had it for about 5 months now.
1276901
That statement jinxed it. Crash in 5, 4, 3, 2...
~Skeeter The Lurker
1276902 Nope sun u fayll trie agn l8tr
Skeets, think of it this way: at least you don't have to use it on a ten year old computer. That's like trying to get a rock to sex a potato and create a calculator.
mine does....none of that...
You know you can turn it off in settings right?
Speaking of settings anyone got the new equestrian font? I want it so I can put it on my skype. 
Funny because I only have 2 of those issues and they aren't even that annoying.
Then turn off autocorrect.
Perhaps it's not Skype that's the problem. Perhaps the problem here is your attitude.
Sarcasm through text isn't appreciated.
~Autism
1276966
... You're not very bright, are you?
~Skeeter The Lurker
What version of Skype do you have??
I didn't even know Skype was even capable of this Artificial Intelligence!
1276989
Mine just hates me.
~Skeeter The Lurker
fgt <3
Skype just... isn't good. Steam actually has instant-messaging, not 'oh, wait five fucking minutes' messaging. Get that shit.
I am having none of these problems.
I think someone just fucked around in your settings.
Perhaps it's not skype, but the mobile device you're using instead. I've never even heard of any of these problems with desktop/laptops.
Worst those have is freezing because it suddenly uses more memory than it's allotted due to the animated ads.
skyep is a fgt
I can't use skype with my GeForce video card as it'll crash when starting with a 100% failure rate. Something to do with incompatibility issues. If I ever use the program, it requires that I go into the nvidia settings and switch to my motherboard's integrated graphics processor. Not that I use these programs to talk to others too much (because they're a stone's throw away from me), there are other alternatives such as Steam, Google Hangout, etc. assuming they would serve the intended purpose.
Skeeter did you ever try a reinstall cause Ive never had any of these issues.
1277145 Sounds like a driver issue which NVidia driver are you using im using 320.18
1276912 Ummm ask Knighty for that, cause I think its already built in to Windows just has a funny name.
Topkek
you can turn off autocorrect, which will solve about ten of your other problems
also, the only problem i ever had was it kept crashing for about a week, then it fixed itself
sucks to be you, skeety-kins
1277151 Thanks! It legitimately works now. I should've known better...my driver version was 285.80. Now it's 320.49.
I feel your pain. Well, only part of it. My main problem is loading time and memory usage, which Skype rapes with a garden hose.
1277193 No problem.
Poor Skeeter... That's why I'm one of the few people who likes Linux's version of skype, even though it looks old and shitty, it works.
1277163
I will and tell him you suggested it. I actually prefer NOT to bother knighty with piddly stuff. He's the reason the site exists in the first place and a big reason it stays up.