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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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That sentence doesn't need "the" in it, unless she's specifying what shame she's feeling.
Tossing it over "Aila's" head.
Also, "tightening it just enough for her to feel it around her throat."
Hoping he could "soothe" the hurt in the mare.
His "easily-given" forgiveness.
I think she means "You're just saying that."
It's funny how Aila is a tsundere for Silver while Shei is willing to "defy" him by being punished along her sister and still hoping to get into his pants
a vary commanding chapter ware will this all lead?
will the sisters truly be Silvers first servants or will this just be temporary?
Harts Fire
6056093 Typos sent to wait in line to see the pharaoh.
6056098 I'd give Shei more points for being a lot more honest about things. She wants to protect Aila, and a slice of the exotic pie that is Silver.
Oh god there's sexy everywhere! Run Silver, run for your life, or you will die a happy death of exhaustion with a smile on your muzzle and a mare on your stiffy.
Does that thing even classify as a stiffy?
I kinda like the whole servant situation. We all know Silver would never hurt either of them and it gives a way to assuage Aila's guilt.
Hmmm.
Curious whether Silver will accept the 'bed warming' offer. Celestia is his only wife present, and isn't doing great at keeping him satisfied, having let him go to sleep hard after he satisfied her. She doesn't seem to object to him having a dalliance, but she's never been possessive of him. Night Watch is the one most likely to be hurt by his dalliance when she learns of it (and he isn't one to try to hide it from her).
I wonder if he will find a way fo request her sign off, or actually manage to keep it to just his wives + receptive mares.
(Or marry one or both sisters, but that seems like quite a stretch from here.)
6056993 How Silver brings this up when he gets home will be a matter requiring far more finesse than Silver probably has. Send help please.
6057151
South Wind: Well, we've got couriers if you want to ask or tell Night Watch sooner. And we have Top Flight, whose talent seems to be explaining why any given dalliance was the only logical thing to do at the time. Top Flight?
Top Flight: I've got nothing.
South Wind: Really? That's it?
Top Flight: I could spend a few hundred words explaining to you why I’ve got nothing?
South Wind: We can provide you a bodyguard. 90% chance of keeping Night Watch from succeeding at killing you. But only if you keep the body guard with you every second of the day. Drops to even odds if you insist on using the toilet alone.
6056247 What an excellent chapter! Other than one or two minor missteps, everything here consistently hit a high note, making for a very impressive turn of events as Silver adroitly turned what happened with Aila from a disadvantageous responsibility into a very sexy situation that seems like it's going to work to everyone's benefit! Well done!
I was impressed with Silver's dedication with regard to Aila. I honestly expected him to have learned almost nothing from when Twilight went through this same exact thing, and simply try to issue blanket forgiveness and warmth to Aila, which would only have made her feel more miserable in comparison. As it was, he instead showed that he had indeed learned something, and I confess that I was caught completely by surprise when he instead put a collar around her neck and made her into a slave-girl! Even more so when her sister, in a fit of pique (and probably quite a bit of worry) demanded that she be subject to the same fate.
Incidentally, while the term "slave" was never used here - they called her a "servant" instead - that's pretty much the status that both sisters now occupy. They can't leave his "employment" of their own free will, nor do they have any say over what they have to do or what eventually becomes of them. True, Silver is going to be the softest master they'll ever have - to the point where I have a hard time seeing him ever disciplining them if they chafe at his authority - but my suspicion is that the local laws in Anugypt (and probably Saddle Arabia, given how quickly they accepted the situation) would absolutely support him forcibly taking them into his service (though whether that's because slavery is legal, or because it's a privilege only given to royalty, remains to be seen).
As it is, the minor missteps I mentioned above are found in that Silver didn't reference - in a narration of his thoughts, rather than dialogue - that he did this because of what he learned when confronting Twilight's guilt. That would have not only been a great reference to continuity, but would have given some needed context regarding why Silver, who is such a softy, would wrap a collar around another pony and basically say "you're my bitch now," especially after having confessed that he had no particular anger at her.
I was also a tad bit concerned as to how he presented her situation to Aila when she protested his claiming her. He was absolutely right to punish as a means of helping her to forgive herself, but there's a manner in which you have to do that - the punishment needs to play into the perpetrator's own sense of guilt; if it simply seems like you're humiliating them or taking advantage of them, then all it will do is make them hate you. In other words, the punishment they suffer needs to comply with their sense of "I deserve this."
Luckily, Silver course-corrected for this second issue almost immediately, by way of the letter he had Aila write to Princess Celestia. While that may have seemed like a small thing, it reminded her that this is neither arbitrary nor excessive - she tried to murder a princess, and the shame of having done such is enormous enough that it makes her deserve to be claimed as the property of the wronged party('s husband). Doing that was enough to ensure that, while she's clearly unhappy with how things have turned out, that unhappiness is directed at herself rather than Silver. Given that, and some of what she let slip regarding her expectations for how many servants a prince has indicating that it's clear that this is not-unknown where she comes from, I don't see her (or Shei) seriously trying to slip her bonds and be free anytime soon.
As it stands now, I have to give Silver major props. Between wives and one-night stands, it seemed like he had found every way he could to legitimize getting even more action, but he found a new status that he can relegate future conquests to: slave-girls. While I seriously doubt he's going to go around collecting beautiful law-breakers, this does open up a potential new avenue for adding to his ever-growing harem, in terms of how to make his conquests socially acceptable. There's a bit of a caveat in that I seriously doubt that Equestria has anything like indentured servitude, but on the flip-side is the fact that they do have a strong noble class that doubtlessly has servants, albeit not indentured ones. As such, Silver can reasonably expect not to encounter too many troubling questions about the sisters if he does bring them back to Equestria (though trying to conquer any native Equestrian mares in this way probably wouldn't go over anywhere near as well).
Incidentally, he also made this work for the sisters' benefit in terms of their long-term prospects. As he noted, their business is failing, and both he and Celestia quite clearly understood that they couldn't save them from that. Since saving face is quite clearly important to Aila and Shei, I agree completely with the idea that "forcing" them to leave could very well be a saving grace for both of them. That can be a difficult needle to thread, however, since he'll need to be sure that's what they want before he makes them give up their home and their business, even if he does keep them together. As it was, it was adorable that Shei was all but begging him to respect Aila's chastity, particularly since Shei didn't sound that upset about having to tend to Silver's needs if that was what he wanted...something he pointedly reminded her of!
In fact, that brings up another compliment I have with regards to this chapter, which was how openly it addressed the sexual undertone of Silver's taking possession of those two. While everypony involved was very cognizant of what that could likely mean, the fact that they addressed it openly was refreshing. That usually falls into a pattern of everyone being aware of it but refusing to address it due to a combination of embarrassment and worry that if they talk about it then they'll precipitate it. This actually made it much more palatable that Silver then waved any carnal activities off (though I suspect that he'll be frustratingly gentlecoltly about not making advances on Shei), since they were openly talking about what he might want them for.
Even the ending was great for how adeptly Celestia manipulated Aila into actually being pleased with her current status. Yes, she's Silver's servant now, but his first servant - between that and the ornate collar he got for her, surely that's a position worthy of honor! She did indeed play the Saddle Arabian mare, and masterfully so.
On that note, I should say that Celestia was also excellent here as well. Her contrition and embarrassment over what happened the previous night helped to not only contextualize that encounter (we already suspected that was her heat talking, but it's nice to have confirmation), but also put a much more pleasant spin to her character. She's acknowledging her flaws, and apologizing for them, in an honest manner. This is the first time it really feels like Celestia wants things to work between her and Silver. That she's not jealous of his having two new females to tend to his needs was the cherry on that, both in terms of her not being judgmental and in recognition of the fact that he has needs also (especially since she's going to be waving her scent around) and that they deserve to be tended to...that, and he's still supposed to stud Luna's new race of ponies.
Overall, this chapter worked very well, operating on several levels simultaneously and delivering some great twists as it did so. I really hope that it can maintain this degree of quality going forward!
6057364 You flatter me good sir! I like to think I've learned something as an author, but I really was just letting the characters do as they wanted to do, so maybe THEY learned something from their adventures, and that's good too. One thing I've been trying to do, just for you, is to let the characters think a little 'louder' on camera. I hope that's worked?
6057423 I confess, I have noticed some improvement in that area! I perhaps haven't mentioned it as much as I should, but I've definitely picked up on it, and I think it's an overall improvement to the quality of the stories.
I was wondering when typo nostalgia would set in.
a soft yes. (Single quotes optional; the comma should go, though)
So if Aila had to write a friendship report, does Shei have to write a benefits report?
6057364 Alicorn he definitely is but I don't think immortal yet, my belief is the sisters draw their immortality from their respective celestial objects, Silver has yet to have a realm or be given an official title (E.G. Prince of Forgiveness per-se) but he may gain immortality yet if he is assigned a power source, maybe Earth God.
6065116 Your reviews I try to enjoy as they seem accurate but are almost a chapter themselves. A couple times I've had to stop due to the TLDR factor only to try again later when my throbbing headache subsided, By all means don't stop, you provide an extra insight into the story that is sometimes enlightening.
I appreciate both yours and the author's opinions all be it from different angles and wonder what your take is on this immortality subject as I keep tripping over it throughout the stories here & elsewhere in Fimfiction-dom.
Hah!
Slave mares for the slave god! Nubiles for the, uhhhh... nubility throne!
Okay, so translating Khorn's warcry into this situation didn't exactly work, but come on, Silver's racking up the females even in a completely foreign environment! I wonder what Night will say when he gets home with a servant corps.
"Well, honey, we're going to have a huge household! We'll need all the helping hooves we can get!"
"Yes, I get that! But did you have to knock them up too?!"
7773352 What could go wrong?
and to think, what started me on this journey was a sidestory... that I stopped reading while I read the others... that have gone on FOREVER!
8221601
You're welcome.