Page generated in 0.024 seconds
Total duration
609 users online
898,971 hits today, 2,782,760 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I'd change "nuzzling" to "pressing," since you use the word earlier in the sentence.
No need to capitalize the "m" at the beginning of Silver's grunt.
Into her "quickly-swallowing" throat.
"Broodmares" is a compound word.
Hmm, I wonder how long that thorn of Aila shall remain, a thorn as firm as a certain stallion's "thorn" seems to be.
Derp! Need wittier materials.
I must be getting old. There is no other way to explain me enjoying tsundere attitude.
Hey, slice of life is awesome! Usagi drop taught me that.
6110816 Typos thrown overboard.
6110856 As the boat is repaired, a bored Silver spends some time playing with the girls. While that resulted in the sexy-fun-times that would be expected from a prince playing with his concubines, I found their conversation a little awkward. Specifically, the girls seemed to be in a heightened state of...anxiety, I suppose. It wasn't out-of-character for them, but it felt odd how they'd suddenly had the foremost aspects of their personalities enhanced so much.
Most noticeable was how aggressive Aila became. While she's always had a sharp tongue, here she seemed to be bordering on spiteful, and I'm having a hard time understanding why. This is an area where the story desperately needed to play up its new-found comfort with narrating what the characters are feeling - I mean for characters other than Silver - since this would have been perfect for explaining why Aila is suddenly unable to open her mouth without lashing out at Silver.
To be clear, there are plenty of entirely-plausible theories about why she's suddenly being so bitchy. Is she suddenly struck with anxiety (and perhaps a bit of grief) after having sold her and Shei's inn? Is she markedly embarrassed by watching her sister perform a sex act on her master? Is she nervous to be going back home to Saddle Arabia? Some combination of all three? I don't know - and I apparently won't ever - because the story doesn't seem to want us to know.
To give credit where it's due, the story does make it clear that Aila is keenly aware of her lack of sexual knowledge, and wants to learn more, presumably to please Silver. Is she upset that he hasn't given her any action lately? Maybe she's being so bilious because she wants Silver to discipline her? Again, these questions aren't given any answers, not even obliquely - when there are no clues, every explanation is equally possible.
While not quite as noticeable, Shei is also uncharacteristically forward here; that's not in terms of her sexuality, which was characteristically forward, but rather her sudden push for a deeper relationship with Silver. From out of nowhere, she's talking about love and indicating that she wants to be made his wife. Where did all of that come from? Is it due to him having sex with her yesterday? Is it related to her having sold the inn? Shei has always been affectionate, but this is taking the romance to a whole new level, and the lack of hints or any sort of lead-in to this makes it feel jarring. Wasn't she feeling honored just a few days ago to be the servant and concubine of a prince, but now she's asking for more?
As it was, I have to admit that I was proud of the fact that Silver didn't just roll over in terms of granting Shei's requests. He acknowledged, with surprising honesty, that while he felt affection for Shei it hadn't grown into true love (at least, not yet). Similarly, it was great to see him try to let Shei know that she should ease off on the idea of becoming one of his wives. I say that not to sound spiteful, but because keeping the Windsong girls in their current positions helps to keep the story grounded, rather than descending into wish-fulfillment, in the sense of "and everybody was in love with everybody else, and they all lived happily ever after." Relationships are tangled and messy in the best of times, particularly when there are so many parties involved. Stories need drama to thrive, and drama is conflict, and conflict is caused by characters not having/getting what they want. So yeah, I'm glad to see that Silver recognizes that Shei may need to walk back this particular dream of hers...for the foreseeable future, at the very least.
That said, I found myself disagreeing with several of Silver's other actions here. For one thing, it wasn't exactly the best idea to talk about how Shei was in control of him to Aila. Leaving aside that Aila is apparently turned on by being the sub to Silver's dom (and so would likely not enjoy the sight of him acting submissively), I have to wonder if acknowledging the paradigm of "going down on someone gives you power over them" is the best line of thinking for a prince. While Equestrian royalty isn't too heavy-hoofed - well, they can be, but in general they're not very demanding as rulers - the entire point of royalty is based along the presumption of inequality; that royals are more worthy than the "common" people simply because of who they are. Because of that, it's expected that the commoners will sacrifice for the good of the royalty, for nothing in return (notwithstanding the underlying social structures that tell them that the royalty works for the national interests). To put it another way, having a beautiful mare go down on him could - and, I think, should - be taken in the opposite context. She's giving pleasure while receiving nothing in return because Silver is the one with the power; that being the power to demand that she service him, with no expectation of reciprocity. That's not degrading to her, but it does establish who is in charge.
Also, I rolled my eyes when Silver actually ceded the point when Aila said that his having sex with them when they weren't in heat would be cheating. No, Silver, it wouldn't! In the strictest sense it's cheating if you have sex - notwithstanding your studding duties - with somepony that isn't one of your wives, true, but the entire point of having concubines is that they occupy a special status between "wife" and "non-wife." That's why they're concubines to begin with; the very term denotes a special status, that being a woman that you legally keep for the purposes of your sexual gratification. Hence, the entire issue of cheating on your wives is a moot one, and should have been brushed off as soon as it was raised. Heck, Silver even had Luna deal with this issue in regards to the one pony that would likely have raised an objection, that being Night Watch. So why act like Aila just made a good point?
Ah well, hopefully Celestia won't be acting oddly, though given her insistence on apparently keeping Silver all to herself for this trip, I'm a bit nervous in that regard.
Awe, the girls are nervous! I like how clearly different they're when dealing with stress.
What is there to do when everything you try ends up with a raging erection? We really wonder how this will get fixed...
Keep going! ;)
6110918 Silver wanted to lay WITH her, in the heaviest of senses. Or perhaps lay on top of her? Whatever involves relieving that building pressure. Aila saw through it instantly and called him on it, and it was cheating, rutting either of them when there wasn't a chance for foals. Technicalities and legalities are where romance goes to die.
As for Shei and Aila acting a bit... much, well... come on? It'd be more worrying if they acted like nothing happened. Their life is officially uprooted and their past dreams dashed, though tempting new ones are in front of them, they remain frustratingly uncertain. Why wouldn't they be acting oddly?
How will Celestia treat her injured but amorous stallion? We'll find out!
Will Silver ever master the art of being Aila's Dom? Well he's trying but he has a long way to go.
6110971 Again, I'm not complaining that the girls were acting oddly; I'm complaining that we were never given insight as to why. It didn't need to be a big thing, but we need to understand a character's motivations. You can present them as lightly as you want, but they need to be presented somehow, instead of the audience being completely left to guess. Whether by narration, by someone else's intuition, by them blurting it out...get us inside their heads, no matter how you get us there.
Likewise, I disagree that it's cheating for him to do anything with his concubines. That's why they're "his," after all. The proper response to Aila's challenge about that would have been to wrestle her down and climb on top of her, but he was too injured to do so. Once he's healed up though, I suspect that any time Aila starting acting uppity it's going to be her way of saying "I wanna do it." After all, they have a safe-word, so unless that's invoked caution should be thrown to the wind.
I am tasting a under tone to this chapter and it taste good.
Celestia is really and truly trying to be so much better to Silver and I am seeing grate trust and a bond forming here.
Harts Fire
His Majesty
I imagining Shei with pink fur and Aila with blue fur.
Aila
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/325/954/a88.png
Shei
pre00.deviantart.net/010d/th/pre/i/2018/084/8/8/mlp_vector___friendship_six_by_jhayarr23-dc6vw8z.png