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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I wonder if the Typo is going to help or hinder in this action? This is not the first time that Silver had his body destroyed. Well he be starting from the beginning? have to earn his cutie mark again? Well he start as a pony or a human? Well he have all his memories? This is going to be fun to see how this terns out. Keep up the good Job you are doing.
Dragonfox
On the "still-agitated" horse's withers.
She would still bother him, "were" he to return.
"Egghead" is a compound word.
6519243 All fixed! Thanks for fixing what is assuredly the last of the typos. I mean, this story is marked complete, isn't it?
6519249 Indeed. And it grows more complete with each new chapter.
6519249 One more:
There's only one "p" in "galloped."
6519316 Tweaked
6519349 The story continues to play to its strengths in this, the "everyone else" chapter of the "death of Silver" arc.
Putting Tumble and Shei together was a cogent move, as the very first interaction between them showed, wherein Shei immediately highlighted the similarities between herself and Tumble, as they were both servants and lovers to Silver. That said, this particular interaction highlighted a weakness of their interaction, albeit an extremely minor one: this is (unless I'm misremembering) the first interaction between the two, at least that we've seen, and that makes the entire thing slightly awkward to consider. Do they even know each other's names, at this point?
Obviously, the implication is that they've bumped into each other (and heard about each other from others) enough to be generally familiar enough with the basics of the other's identity, but the simple presumption that they're acquainted seems like something that deserved more than being glossed over. Also, I have to give the story credit for the fact that it does try and address this; Tumble's opening impression (which was a very good use of expository narration) helped to set the tone that he was only vaguely familiar with who Shei was, since otherwise it wouldn't have used descriptors to identify her (e.g. "an exotic charmer from the East"). So this really isn't a large complaint on my part; it's more that I'm noting that the first meetings between members of such a large ensemble cast are worthwhile scenes, even without any plot progression (which can't be helped here, since the plot has already progressed).
I'm not at all surprised that Tumble is standing up to this so well. Simply put, Tumble has had too much tragedy in his life for this to break him. Heck, this isn't the first time that Silver has left him. If anything were to cause Tumble to show some cracks in his otherwise-solid response, it would be that he and Silver finally had a chance to consummate their love for each other, only for him to be snatched away. That said, I like that he didn't feel particularly inclined to break down over this; despite what people think about Night Watch, being a rock isn't just about not losing your head during a crisis, but rather is about being able to weather hardship, and nopony in this story does that better than Tumble does. Presuming that he stops being quite so self-effacing (which he seemed to do here), and if things slow down long enough to get to a point where emotional support is needed (which is questionable, since the "resurrection plot" seems to be full-steam ahead already), then I can see him being the one that supports the entire herd's heartbreak. He has the fortitude to pull it off.
Shei, by contrast, was surprising. I honestly expected her to be crying her eyes out, thrown back into a whirlpool of grief just like when she lost her sister. I have to wonder if she's still in shock over this; certainly, her anger over not having a foal of her own was unexpected, to the point where I don't think she knows what she's feeling.
Of course, one thing did come through from her as this chapter went on, and that was anger: anger at Silver. Whether it was anger at him for dying or anger at him for possibly coming back, that's clearly where she's going in her grief. Since she has no plausible way of blaming herself (like she did before, when she lost Ayla), she's turned her anger on him...which is understandable, but I worry what that will do if he does come back.
That's because she (and Applejack) raised a good point: if that does work, then why does Silver get a second chance at life when other ponies didn't? Here, Nefertari's wisdom shown through in her answer regarding that some are more loved than others. However, I don't think that gets to the heart of the matter. Rather, the problem isn't why some are fought for more than others; that's just one possible answer to "why do some people and not others get a second chance?" Rather, the problem is that that question has an answer at all, since that acknowledges that some people get a second chance at all while others are not so fortunate...which undercuts the very idea of equality, and unambiguously says that some are more deserving than others. Of course, this is (I think) true, but for the families and loved ones of those who are not so favored, that's a very harsh message indeed.
I was also glad to see Nefertari finally start to get short when everyone kept doubting her pregnancy. Given her shamanic status, she always seemed like the most authoritative about whether or not she had conceived. To have everyone else keep questioning that, without any real basis beyond Silver's supposed infertility, felt rather disingenuous. I was wondering when she'd finally yell "Yes, I AM pregnant, so just deal with it!"
Insofar as Applejack and Rainbow Dash go, I was pleasantly surprised to see them happily gabbing about their girls getting their cutie marks; that was a very astute reminder that there's more to life than what happened to Silver, and that things are still going on. Of course, when the topic came up things quickly turned more serious. Applejack's discomfort with Twilight trying to bring Silver back was obvious, but I believe she was wrong to assert that it was inherently wrong for her to do so. The permanency of death is not sacrosanct, it's simply a fact that we've dressed up that way to try and make it easier to accept; the idea of not bringing someone back just because it's not right is, at best, tautological (even without getting into the idea of who deserves to come back and who doesn't), and I was glad to see Rainbow Dash take the opposite approach. This is entirely true to their natures, of course, since Applejack has always been a traditionalist and Rainbow an iconoclast, and the interplay between them here felt entirely natural.
I was also glad to see them bring back up the issue of the aborted idea of having Silver stud for them, even if that conversation felt frustratingly vague. That entire plotline was never resolved, so much as it was discarded after it became too tangled to continue. This was almost a nice way to bring it up and give it a proper resolution...but they still danced around it a little too much for that. It would have been nice to see them give a clearer reason for why they backed off (Rainbow especially) or what they decided they wanted, but c'est la vie. Maybe we'll get that down the road.
6519243
Or like this?
"on the, still agitated, horse's withers."
6519410 That would have worked too (but I like my suggestion better ).
6519409 Different ponies with different ideals and approaching the idea of death and the fight against the natural order.
Can it even be done? Stories are full of the failed attempts, and rarely do they end well for those involved. Don't mock Applejack for at least trying to advise some caution, but their friendship calls, and she has answered it.
How much of it can be considered natural in a world where things change solely dependent on the magics of the peoples there? I've read many a story that had the entire world of Equus's weather doing its own thing til ponies came along and broke it. I guess it depends on each individuals idea of what is and isn't, though mostly I feel it falls to the writer.
I see that the Text appears to be in the A/Ns.