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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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A large and "sleek-looking" ship.
Her smile fell as a "richly-dressed" feline approached.
If those really are titles, then they should all be capitalized, e.g. "Bringer of Inspiration," "Stud of the Land," and "He Who Has No Past."
I'd change that to "Ah well, what would one last fling hurt?"
Moving about in helicopters and other "fanciful-looking devices."
A "surprised-looking" security guard.
A "matronly-looking" unicorn female.
Though the mare was "middle-aged" at worst.
She approached with a "stiff-bristled" brush in her golden magic.
Delete that first period.
6026550 Yay, our first typo fix!
6026668 Now this is a pleasant surprise! I was just getting used to mourning the loss of looking forward to daily updates about Silver's life and adventures, and then we get a new story! Needless to say, I'm quite happy.
One thing that I appreciated right off is the fairly sedate pace that the first chapter sets. One of the cardinal sins that many fics commit is wanting to skip straight to the "good parts," which means that necessary build-up and development get ignored. These fics have rarely had that problem - if anything, they can often go too far in the other direction - but it's nice to see that trend being upheld here all the same. In this chapter, Silver and Celestia make it to the boat in the harbor. That that much time can be spent just on the very first step of the journey is something I found heartening, particularly in light of thinking that we weren't going to be seeing Silver again for a long time.
While it seems obvious in hindsight, I really had no idea that the population of Anugypt were feline in nature. For some reason, the thought in my head was of the ponies of Saddle Arabia, and it never occurred to me to suspect otherwise. That they're nekomata - two-tailed cats - is even more surprising. Given that, there's a surprisingly wide variety of developments that can be made with regards to the felines that Silver and Celestia are going to encounter. Are they all two-tailed, or are there also one-tails, the same way that there are multiple tribes of ponies? Or is getting your second tail (or even first tail; maybe kittens are tailless) the sign of adulthood the way a cutie mark is for ponies? Do they have magic like the nekomatas of mythology (I doubt it though, even among other races, true spellcasting seems to be reserved for unicorns), or is it the subtle, internal magic that non-unicorn ponies (and probably other races, like griffons) have? There's a large amount of creative space to play in here.
Ambassador Doublebrush seems like she has the potential to be an interesting character. While we don't see very much of her here, the impression that I got of her was interesting, in that she seems like the sort of person who actually isn't very ideological, but enjoys the nature of her position nonetheless. That is, she doesn't seem like the type to become passionate about politics unto itself, but enjoys international diplomacy as though it were a chess game. She seems like she plays hard and plays to win, but doesn't take it personally if she loses, considering how she greeted Celestia.
I'm also given to wonder why she's being recalled. While that may sound routine, that seems slightly hard to swallow, especially given the backdrop about her country being in turmoil. Before the days of easy long-distance communication, ambassadors were true plenipotentiaries; that is, they were endowed with the ability to act with the full authority of their home nation when dealing with another country. In other words, Ambassador Doublebrush could enter into a treaty with Equestria, and Anugypt would have to honor it - she may have said that whomever was coming to replace her would be "spewing the demands of the pharaoh," but I'd guess that she was just being circumspect. That kind of position isn't one you send someone into lightly, since they have that much power with regards to your kingdom and whatever other land they're assigned to. Conversely, you don't recall them unless there's a good reason for it.
Clearly, she hasn't lost her touch, since she seems to know a fair amount about Silver...though I suspect that he's quite the hot topic these days anyway! These titles are clearly bestowed by a populace that's devouring any new information with regards to the newest alicorn, both for his unique nature and his myriad changes and adventures. The "Bringer of Inspiration" title might sound like a reference to his magic, but Silver has also come up with several ideas for his friends that have changed their lives (e.g. Tumble's trucking business). Similarly, "He Who Has No Past" sounds like a reference to his just appearing in Equestria one day, but at the same time I wonder how much of it comes from the fact that his many changes since arriving there have caused what people "know" about him to become hopelessly muddled.
Of course, the big title is "Stud of the Land." Rather ironically, Silver has barely done any studding at this point, so it's fairly clear that Luna has put the word out that Silver is looking to stud for one and all mares. That's not too surprising, since she wants so badly for her lunar unicorns to become a full segment of society. Still, I have to wonder how she's conducting her selection process...I can understand Starlight Glimmer (I suppose), since she's a powerful spellcaster and has quite a bit of notoriety to those in the know. Applejack and Rainbow Dash are self-explanatory (even if that fell through), but this new mare...what's her claim for being so close to the front of the line?
As it was, I initially had mixed feelings about Silver getting it on with some older mare that was clearly past her prime, and not exactly a paragon of femininity either. However, I remembered something on the second read-through, and the entire sequence suddenly made a great deal more sense: this is a job that Silver is performing, not an indulgence. That is, this isn't meant to be "Silver's super-fun sexy times." This is him breeding a new tribe into existence, and that means that he has a literal duty to fulfill, and that in turn means that he's going to need to do it with any number of mares, and they won't all be young, sexy-types.
In fact, it was notable that Silver never even learned this mare's name. That really took a lot of the intimacy out of the encounter (at least for me), since even if he wanted to he likely couldn't find her again (once he forgets the details, like where she lives), and so couldn't see their child even if he felt like doing so. This was, in other words, an encounter that was entirely about business...which brings us back around to the ever-present question, how in the hay did she conceive if she didn't love him? Because there's no way that she felt love for him, which is a required component for a mare being receptive. That's going to need some explanation.
Besides that, I should note the tenor for this story. It's honestly not nearly as raunchy as I thought it'd be. While the act itself does get more description, it's nowhere near the XXX-rating that I thought it'd be; for that matter, this doesn't even seem fully X-rated, so much as a hard (pun intended) R-rating. True, we are getting a bit more details than before, but not that much more, and the coupling is still described in rather poetic terms. If the Text wants this to step up to being at the level that it'd "make a whore blush," then it still needs to crank the dial. That said, I'm perfectly happy with how much description is being given to Silver's conquests...though as he noted, this might be the last time he gets laid for a while anyway. (Though I think we're all expecting him to "bag" Celestia at some point on this trip, especially since they're going to be sleeping in the same bed.)
Speaking of which, I was a little surprised by how Celestia treated Silver when he got back. Did she not know that he and Luna were conspiring to stud the lunar unicorns into existence? I can understand her teasing him about getting around so much, and I can understand his retorting that it's something that he needs to do...I'm just not sure why she was so visibly rebuked. It's like she hadn't considered that angle before, which seems a bit odd. I can't figure out her reaction there.
Either way, they're all on the boat (everybody look at him, 'cause he's sailing on a boat!) and ready to make the trip to Anugypt! Here's to a new adventure with Silver!
6026702 Celestia's reaction was in large part just to how badly Silver took it. She meant to do a little light-hearted ribbing and he clearly took it a bit closer to heart, and she backed off. She is trying, in her own way, to forge a few friendly roads with Silver, some more successful than others.
The mare wanted Silver, even if Silver was lukewarm about the encounter. This is also why the first, quick, time didn't trigger it at all. When Silver went back for seconds and showed -some- warmth, she got her engine humming at least hard enough to hit the threshold. She wanted the foal, and she did want Silver, or Luna would not have sent him.
I hope that makes some kind of internal sense.
Found some errors.
Need to separate when two people, (ponies), are talking. You can tell when you read the next couple of lines after that one.
--
Sorry if I'm picky but here's another one:
That last sentence needs to be separate from Celestia's speaking because the guard speaks.
6050687 Oops! I know better than this. Thanks for pointing it out.
Mature? Sex? Will we actually get some more sexy details and expanded sex scenes? Please say yes!
6074239 Yes.
That sounds like strike two for not getting approval before studding. They really need to implement a better system if this continues.
6102101 Yeah, international missions make it hard to ask first.
I find it somewhat amusing that I start this story just as it ends. Wonder if it'll continue once the season continues.
6387898 A mystery!
Celestia will be back when they hit landfall. Trollestia had her chance on the deck, a little, and we will probably see more of her soon. But now it seems it's time for Molestia to come to the fore. Hehhehheh.
Not sure i like the Matryoshka story structure.
feline with two tails approached.
6837884 Welcome to the Mature chapter.
...this is getting a little confusing.
So this story happens in the middle of The Silver Stars, which happens in the middle of Putting On a Silver Robe and Wizard Hat? And both of them may or may not be an extended dream sequence?
Just a minor 500,000 word detour. Or are there more? No, don't answer that. No point in ruining the surprise.
Right. Well, I've got the time, so let's get to this.
7124452 I appreciate your attitude. Venture forth!
Well if this is how you are going to be, so be it. Onward brave warrior of chapter slaying, I will not fall behind the pack of the other warrior's. I will be strong and not stop.
NO FEAR. WARRIORS OF THE NIGHT
7396950 Welcome to the next level!
7397392 Yes, but the way I see it is to go to the next level to gain a better understanding is to try new things. So here I am. So now you have me along for the ride.
Have A Shanty for the sail
The should be them.
7416142 Fixed!
Just when I think I'm close to done with dreamland and about to head back to Equestria, you drop another 164 chapter link in the middle of things. I'm going to be so confused by all the events by the time I get back to the main line. "Hmm, now was that before or after the first midstory link...
For srs dood! I never thought I'd find something longer than Twilight Is Magic, (also an excellent fic that takes ages to read all of) and yet here you tap tap tappity away.
Never stop.
7689490 You're quite welcome. Glad you're enjoying this crazy ride,
7689490 try the chase. Longest story on the site right now.
Another 163 chapters to read. Thought i was done. Sigh.
These... Books, are a very emotional Ride- are they not? It's only taken me 2-3 Days to get through 3 of them.
8264539
Welcome to the ride!
https://www.nytimes.com/video/movies/100000003381853/ant-bully-scene-this-tastes-like-green-apple-bubble-gum.html