Hello there. I'm Deuterium, and I am a sentient mattress. Some random facts about me:

- I hail from the land of Great Shittain Britain.
- I have Asperger's Syndrome
- I am also an anime fan, my all-time favourites are Death Note, Rozen Maiden and Ore no Imouto ga Konna ni Kawaii Wake ga Nai
- I have a massive inferiority complex.

If you like my stuff... Well, good for you, because you're one of a very small number of people who does.

Sometimes I dunno why I bother... Since nobody reads my works, why should I write at all? But still I write... Solely to prove to myself that I, Deuterium, am a good writer. People say that to me sometimes - but others get it every day. Popularity, I suppose... Popularity and publicity. I try to advertise my stuff but nopony ever actually bothers to read it...

I can't be bothered to write any more, so goodbye for now. Go about your business of ignoring me and reading somepony else's fics - somepony who's better than me...