"I still don't think everypony hates you," Scootaloo said, as she walked back to the market with Diamond. "They might not like you, maybe, but as far as they know you have money. Ponies selling things usually sell to anypony, and really like ponies who have money. It was probably just whoever you talked to."
"I doubt that," Diamond said gloomily. She was still a bit sceptical about coming back here, but if she stayed away from everypony, and gave Scootaloo money to buy her dinner, it'd probably be fine.
She did feel a bit better after that bath, at least. She might still be a homeless loser, but at least now she was a clean homeless loser. And nopony had to know how far she'd sunk by now, living in a treehouse, and relying on Scootaloo for her food.
Of course, there were still a few ponies she really wanted to avoid here.
"Well, why don't I just ask somepony?" Scootaloo said. To her horror, Scootaloo waved to Applejack, attracting her attention. "Hi, Applejack!"
"Well, howdy there, Scootaloo!" Applejack replied warmly. Then her gaze fell on Diamond, and the smile vanished. "Diamond Tiara."
Something in the look on her face just made Diamond instinctively shrink away, Scootaloo, however, didn't seem to notice anything amiss.
"Diamond Tiara told me that everypony here hated her and that they wouldn't sell her anything." Scootaloo asked, obliviously, "Is that true?"
Somehow, Applejack's gaze softened a bit at that.
"I reckon she would think that, after earlier," she said. "No matter what she did, most of 'em would still sell her things. She just picked the one bad apple out of the bunch. You don't do that to your customers, no matter how badly they deserve it."
Really? Diamond tried to wrap her head around that. Had she actually just walked right over to the one pony who hated her enough to start yelling at her and refuse to sell her anything?
"So if I had come to your stall, you'd have sold me apples?" she asked hesitantly.
"I'd have tanned your hide! An' Big Macintosh's got blood in his eye where you're concerned," she snapped, and then grudgingly added, "but I'd have sold you apples first."
Diamond wasn't really sure if that was reassuring or not.
"Which makes me wonder what you are doing hanging out with her, Scootaloo," Applejack asked, "I thought you and my sis were friends?"
"We were!" Scootaloo protested, then caught herself. "I mean, we are! And I was really upset at Diamond. We've just talked things out already, that's all."
"Oh, you did, did you?" Applejack slowly nodded. "Well, I did have Filthy come over and promise me that he'd taken care of Diamond, and his family wouldn't cause us problems any more. Of course, I don't know what he's done that he thinks'll keep you in line. Granny Smith'd have had her hairbrush ready."
A lump formed in her throat, and a tear formed in her eyes. She wouldn't cause any problems, huh? For a moment she was bound and determined to cause all the problems she could for everypony, just to spite him.
However, the urge faded as quickly as it had appeared. She couldn't even take care of herself. How could she possibly go around causing everypony else problems? Her ears pinned back on her head.
Applejack eyed Diamond Tiara speculatively.
"Well, maybe he did get something through your head. You ain't wearing your tiara, are you? Never see you without that thing on."
Diamond shook her head, not really trusting her voice right now.
"While taking your tiara away might have gotten you to stop, do you really understand why what you did was wrong?"
What more was there to understand? I broke Apple Blooms legs!
"First and foremost, you hurt my lil' sister," Applejack said, an eerie calm in her voice. "She's currently lying in the hospital with both her hind legs in casts."
"I know she is!" Diamond snapped, then regretted it. She should be trying to be nice to Applejack.
"You wouldn't know it if you looked at her casts! I think every other member of the class has signed them by now."
"You really think she'd want me visiting her?" Diamond asked. And when did everypony in school visit?
"Well, you could've at least signed her card."
"I did sign her card!"
"Um, Applejack?" Scootaloo cut into the conversation. "Remember that spot on the card that was scratched out so you couldn't read it?"
"Ah." Applejack adjusted her hat. "Reckon not visiting was a good idea, then. Apple Bloom'll be home tomorrow, but her casts will still be on for more than six weeks. Meantime, she's in a wheelchair. She'll need somepony to push her anywhere she goes, and she won't be able to help around the farm barely at all."
"How much could her not being able to do a few chores affect things?" Diamond asked. It's not like Apple Bloom was single-handedly running the farm or anything.
The answer, though, turned out to be quite a lot. Her jaw dropped as Applejack listed job after job that Apple Bloom helped out with. From slopping the hogs, whatever that meant, to helping collect bruised apples, to making grape juice, and even a bit of applebucking.
"Fact is, sugarcube, thanks to your lil' stunt, we may need extra help for the next few months. I'm thinkin' of sendin' a letter to my cousin Braeburn in Appleloosa, and seeing if he can help out, or if he knows somepony who can."
Wasn't that an awful long way away? "Why would he help, though?"
"He'd help 'cause he's family, and that's what family's do. They're there for each other when they need it."
But not Daddy. It wasn't really just now, either. He'd mainly left raising her up to Grey and the other servants. It hadn't mattered so much when mommy was there, but since then, it'd been pretty lonely. Though there'd been Silvy. There'd always been Silvy. Until now, anyways.
"What happened to Apple Bloom affects our whole family and our business. The business concerns aren't even the largest part of it for me, really. My lil' sis' is in the hospital, hurt, upset, and angry, and it's all your fault."
Wasn't everything?
She threw her forelegs in the air in exasperation.
"Look, I'm sorry! I didn't mean this to happen. I was already going to stop by and try to apologise to Apple Bloom tomorrow and see what I could do to try to make it up to her, alright?"
"Well, I won't stop you. Can't say I think she'll accept." Her gaze did seem to have softened a bit. "If you're here for dinner, why don't you try the teriyaki booth again. You may be surprised. Now, if you'll pardon me, I got apples to sell."
With that, Applejack turned to an approaching stallion, and started haggling.
Diamond turned to Scootaloo.
"Did you have to get Applejack on my back? You know she hardly considers me the best pony right now."
"Well, she was the best pony to ask."
"Except maybe for, I don't know, anypony else?"
"Whatever. She said to check out that teriyaki booth again, didn't she?"
"And get yelled at by that stallion again?" Diamond Tiara snorted and pawed at the ground. "I don't think so."
Scootaloo scanned the marketplace.
"Um, Diamond?" Scootaloo said after a moment. "There's a mare at the teriyaki booth, not a stallion."
"Huh?"
"Yeah, and it looks like she's seen you. She's waving at you."
She looked over in that direction, and sure enough, a tan mare behind the teriyaki booth was waving her over, and there was no sign of the stallion who had been behind it earlier.
Diamond approached the booth with some trepidation, given how she'd been treated last time. As Scootaloo and Diamond got closer, the mare called out to her, sounding a bit harried.
"Were you the filly that idiot chased away from my booth earlier? I only got a glimpse of you as you were leaving."
Her booth? She did have a cutie mark of what looked like rice. Maybe she was the owner?
"Er, I think so?"
"Good." The mare breathed a sigh of relief. "I tried to call you back here, but you'd already taken off. Look, I'm really sorry about what happened. He was a new employee, and I thought he could be trusted to take care of the booth alone while I ran a few errands. Apparently I was wrong."
"I just… tried to order something from him. I didn't think he'd start yelling at me."
Diamond hated even thinking about it. Apparently it had just been the one pony, though. Maybe things weren't as bad as she'd thought.
"From what he told me, you'd had a fight with his little sister recently, and he was still upset. Not that that excuses him. Anypony who can't keep their head with customers has no business dealing with them. If you're still hungry, why don't you and your friend let me know what you want for dinner, and I'll give it to you, on the house this time. It's the least I can do."
Diamond Tiara looked between the mare and Scootaloo, not quite sure she wanted to categorize Scootaloo as a friend yet, but also not wanting to antagonise her.
Scootaloo apparently had no such reservations. "I'll have a broccoli n' garlic n' pepper rice bowl with chips and root beer."
Sure, milk it while you have a chance, Scootaloo. Now I'll have to deal with garlic breath all night.
She took a deep breath, and calmly repeated her order from what seemed forever ago, for the teriyaki and vegetable bowl and her raspberry ice tea.
The mare behind the stall pulled out two bowls, quickly put scoops from various containers in them, squeezed sauces from squeeze bottles over them, and filled two glasses for them. Some plastic forks and napkins, and both of them were set.
"Again, my apologies for the earlier behavior towards you, and let me assure you that your business is always welcome here," the vendor repeated.
Diamond was about ready to go find someplace to eat, but Scootaloo seemed to have other ideas.
"So, I guess you're just running that stand by yourself now, then?"
The mare turned to face Scootaloo. "I was before, really. I just thought I was doing well enough that I may as well get some help and make things easier. I can manage."
"Well, you know," Scootaloo continued, "if you just need some help after school sometime, I could always use some extra bits, and I'm sure I'd do a better job than that other guy did."
The mare smiled at that. "I'll be alright, but I'll keep that in mind."
She then turned back to her stand, subtly dismissing them. Diamond and Scootaloo left the market square and sat down on a bench. Diamond had to assume there was some reason they didn't go back to the clubhouse, but this was closer.
The teriyaki bowl was good, though. And she hadn't had to even use any of her bits for it. She slurped down a couple of sips from her iced tea happily, then looked over at Scootaloo.
"So what was all that about her needing help you were going on about?"
Scootaloo was already halfway through her own bowl, and barely slowed down to answer her.
"Well, you hafta keep your eyes open, y'know? If she needs help, and I come by and help out every so often, she's happy, I get some extra bits, and maybe when somepony else needs help, she suggests asking me. You want to get by, you need bits for things."
Diamond had to agree on that one.
"So you just take little jobs all over the place to get bits? Doesn't anypony wonder why you need all those bits?"
"Nah, they just figure my scooter needs to be fixed a lot or that I like going out to eat. Ponies can be pretty dumb when they don't wanna see something. Actually, I should stop by Mr. Breezy's when we're done here, thinking 'bout it."
"Mr. Breezy's?"
"Yeah. I just need to stop by the clubhouse and get my scooter and-"
Scootaloo froze mid-sentence, as if coming to a realization. She closed her eyes and cradled her head in her forearms, ignoring the rest of her food.
This couldn't be good.
"What's wrong?"
Scootaloo cracked open one eye and looked at her. "This is all your fault, Diamond Tiara,"
She stifled a sigh. Back to this, were we?
"Of course it is. Everything's my fault. Can you be a little more specific?"
"I needed to bring the wagon along, and it's broken. I can't help him today." Scootaloo picked her head back up."We'll finish dinner, then we'll go over and let him know. I needed that money, though."
"We can't just get your wagon fixed up quickly?"
Scootaloo laughed for a moment. "No, for this, Apple Bloom could fix it, if she wasn't in the hospital, but otherwise, I'd need to pay somepony a buncha money I don't have."
Diamond thought about this.
"Wait, it'd take somepony really good at repairing things or Apple Bloom?"
"When her legs aren't broke, she can fix anything. That clubhouse was a wreck when we got it, and a lotta stuff was added just for me by Apple Bloom."
"She's that good?" Diamond Tiara said incredulously. "Shouldn't she have her cutie mark in fixing things, then?"
Scootaloo spread her forehooves and shrugged. "Maybe there's something she's even better at? You're the one that should know. You have one."
"Yeah, well, everyponies cutie mark's different," she said weakly. Fortunately, Scootaloo seemed to buy it. She didn't really want to tell her that she had no idea what her cutie mark was about at all.
She'd been proud of it at the time, but really, 'I was posing in front of a mirror with my tiara, and my cutie mark appeared' was one of the lamest cutie mark stories ever. And now her tiara had been destroyed. Did that mean that she didn't have a special talent? That she'd never have one again, ever? Was she worthless?
And her mommy had helped her pick that tiara out. It was one of the last things she had to remember her by. Though Daddy had been the one to actually pay for it.
Looking down, she realised she'd finished her teriyaki bowl and tea without thinking about it. She tossed them in the trash.
"So, Mr. Breezy's, I guess?" she said, trying to put a smile on her face that she didn't really feel.
"Yeah, we'd better get it over with." Scootaloo got down off the bench. "Mr. Breezy'll understand, but…"
"Is it going to be really bad without the money from him?" She needed Scootaloo's help, and if Scootaloo couldn't give it because she was having enough trouble taking care of herself, that'd be no good.
"Hopefully, I can cover things with a little help from Sweetie Belle, and I do have a few other ways to get money, but it'll be tight." She shot a glance at Diamond. "And it doesn't help when I have other ponies mooching off me."
"I do have some money," Diamond said haughtily. "And hopefully I'll be able to get more. Grey'll probably give me my allowance despite what happened, as long as daddy doesn't tell him not to. He's funny about things like that."
Scootaloo gave her a sidelong glance, then waved one hoof. "Come on."
They walked through town, past all the usual shops: the Quill and Sofa shop, the Ink and Mortar, a few flower shops, one of which had an 'All you can eat' sign up, and finally, Mr. Breezy's Fans. The front display showed all manner of fans for sale, large, small, portable, and even wearable ones, and a sign in the window showed that was still open.
Walking under a checkerboard patterned awning, Scootaloo pushed the door open, causing a bell to jingle, and Diamond followed her in.
Walking around inspecting one of the displays was a friendly-looking stallion wearing a green cap, green vest, and red bowtie. He looked up when he heard the bell, and smiled, seeing Scootaloo.
"Good afternoon, Scootaloo. Brought a friend along today?"
"What?" Scootaloo exchanged glances with Diamond. "Um, Diamond's gonna be, er, helping me out for a while, I guess."
"Good. I do have a fair number of deliveries for you today, but I'm sure with that scooter and wagon of yours, you'll be able to zip right through them."
Scootaloo walked up to Mr. Breezy. "Er, that's the thing. My wagon's broken, so, um, I don't think I'm gonna be able to do the deliveries today. An' Apple Bloom's in the hospital, so I don't know when I'll be able to get it fixed."
"Oh! Well, I'm very sorry to hear about your friend," Mr. Breezy said. "That does put us in a pickle, though. Why don't the two of you come around back, and help me load all these fans into my cart, then, since I'll have to do the deliveries myself this time."
"What if somepony comes in the shop?" Diamond asked, as they walked to the back.
"I'll be able to hear it from here, don't worry," Mr. Breezy assured her.
The three of them started grabbing fans and shoving them into a large cart. Diamond wasn't really sure why she joined in, but it seemed expected of her, and after the last few days, it kind of felt good to be doing something useful, anyways.
Pretty soon they had everything loaded. Unfortunately, the cart looked like it could only be used by a full-grown pony, so there was still no way Scootaloo would be able to pull it.
"Now, in order to get these all out on time, I should go deliver them now. I could close the shop early, but I'd rather not. Scootaloo, you've been around my shop enough times. Could you and your friend run the shop for an hour or so, while I get the deliveries out? The prices are all in the book on my desk. I doubt you'll get more then a customer or two, anyway."
Scootaloo seemed dumbfounded. "Well, I guess I could-"
"Great!" Mr. Breezy removed his hat, stuck it on Scootaloo's head, then put the harness on the cart on his back and took off. Right about that point, they heard the bell on the front door chime.
"Great…"
"What was the price on the small paper hand fans, Scoots?"
"Three bits each, or five for two. Do we have any hat-mounted fans over there?"
"One, but it's kinda silly looking."
"They probably all are. Can you bring it over?"
"Give me a minute."
If this was slow, she really didn't want to see fast. It wasn't like the store was flooded, but it'd been nonstop since Mr. Breezy had left. It'd taken both of them to keep up with everypony coming in.
She gave two paper fans to the filly in front of her, and accepted five bits in exchange. Then she put on the silly beanie with the motor-powered fan and trotted over to Scootaloo. It was a crime against fashion, but she had it off of her head soon enough, and dropped it in front of Scootaloo.
Diamond jotted down her sale on a piece of paper as Scoots finished selling some dorky-looking colt the beanie. She quickly jotted down that sale as well, and put the bits in the register. That seemed to have been the last customer for the moment, at least. Out the window, she saw the colt flick the fan on, and quickly get carried away into the sky, wailing, but that was hardly her concern. It must have been a pretty strong fan.
This wasn't all that bad. She had been around Barnyard Bargains long enough to know how this works. This was, admittedly, rather lower level than she'd like to be, but there was a certain satisfaction in taking care of the store successfully. Of course, her opinion would change if she didn't get paid for all this.
The bell on the door chimed again, and she turned, getting ready to deal with yet another customer. However, this time it seemed to be Mr. Breezy.
"Whew! All those deliveries takes it out of me. Did you two have any customers while I was gone?"
Diamond Tiara silently held up the piece of paper she'd been recording sales on. There were more than a dozen.
"That many? I'd have had trouble dealing with that many customers if I'd been here. Still, it looks like you two have kept things under control admirably. Let me just close up and count the register out."
He trotted to the front window, flipped the sign to closed, then went back to the desk. Accepting his hat back from Scootaloo, he totalled the purchases, added them to his own totals, then counted out the money in the register.
"Off by one bit, but that's within tolerance. That could easily be a math error."
Just then, a bit dropped from his hat to the floor below.
"Or it could have been misplaced, I suppose."
He flipped the bit in with the rest, took out two piles of bits, and pushed them over towards Scootaloo and Diamond Tiara.
"I gave the two of you a bit extra because I wasn't really expecting you to have to handle that rush of customers. Also, Scootaloo, here you go."
He slid a folded piece of paper over to her. Scootaloo picked it up and looked at it, puzzled.
"Take your wagon over to the repair shop across from my shop, and give them this note. They'll repair it and put it on my tab. That way, you can have it repaired now, and then pay me back later on. I'm sure a few deliveries and it'll be taken care of."
Hmm. Daddy did something like this. He loaned ponies money, then had them pay it back over time.
"What kind of interest will Scootaloo owe you on that?" she asked.
Mr. Breezy looked over at her. "No interest. I'll get a bill, show it to Scootaloo, and keep track of payments. Scootaloo does enough deliveries for me that I'm sure it won't take long to pay off."
She was pretty sure that wasn't how a business normally did things, but she didn't feel like arguing.
"Thanks, Mr Breezy!" Scootaloo said. "I was gonna try and see what I could do about the wagon, but that'll help a lot."
"That's fine, Scootaloo. It really helps me in that I won't have to do the deliveries while you save up to get the wagon fixed, so it's not an issue."
"I'll get it taken care of."
"Not tonight, I hope. It's getting dark out, so the two of you should probably get back home before your parents get worried. If it isn't fixed by next week, I may want you to run the store again for a while, though."
"Thanks! See you next week."
Scootaloo dragged Diamond Tiara along with her to the door. She waved, then got yanked through the doorway, which Scootaloo closed behind them.
"What's the big hurry?"
"If it's getting dark, he mighta wanted to walk us home, and that'd be a problem."
She supposed she could have had him escort her right outside Rich Manor, then waited for him to go away, but that could have gotten tricky.
"Has Mr. Breezy done that before?"
"Once or twice. He already thinks my parents are broke, because he's seen me buying stuff for myself with the money he pays me that they would usually have bought. He's nice, just kinda too nice, sometimes."
"Everything went really fast. I didn't expect to end up running the store."
"Yeah. I figured we'd just let him know what happened and leave. It's not like he couldn't have just closed the store when doing deliveries. He had to have done something like that before I came along."
"Yeah, I guess."
"Never seen the store that busy. It was just one pony after another, but somehow we got them all taken care of! I thought for sure somepony was gonna end up waiting or get impatient. I'm not even sure Mr. Breezy could have done better! That was actually pretty awesome!"
Diamond Tiara looked bemusedly at her. Scootaloo backtracked.
"I mean, you did acceptably for your first time. Of course, you had my help."
"Your help? Which one of us wrote down all the purchases?"
"Oh, well, I knew you'd be able to handle that."
"Sure you did."
"Besides, what about that one stallion…"
Eventually, the two of them managed to make it to the clubhouse, Diamond not really that sure what to make of their last exchange. I mean, they didn't like each other, right? They couldn't possibly be friends, with everything between them.
So why had that felt so natural, then? Maybe some part of her was thinking of Scoots as if she was Silvy. That must be it. It wasn't like the two of them had anything in common or anything.
By now, it was dark out, so going up the ramp was a nervous matter, and they had to be really careful when walking in not to bump into anything. Which seemed a bit stupid to Diamond.
"Can't you turn on the lights?"
"You think the clubhouse has electricity?"
"Oh." Diamond closed her eyes. "This is going to suck."
"I do have a flashlight and some candles, but mostly I just go to sleep when it's dark, unless I really hafta be out for some reason. "
Diamond stumbled over to her cushion.
"Usually I'd stay up, but it has been a long day." Diamond Tiara yawned.
"Yeah, and Apple Bloom will be back tomorrow!"
Diamond groaned, dug into her cushion, and tried to get some sleep. She tossed and turned restlessly, but couldn't get comfortable, and her mind kept going back to tomorrow.
"Scootaloo?"
"Hmm?"
She felt silly bringing it up, but…
"About tomorrow?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you think it'll go okay? With Apple Bloom and all?"
A yawn came from the other side of the clubhouse. "Dunno?"
"I know I've really got to tell her I'm sorry, but I have a bad feeling about this."
"Diamond?"
"Yes?"
"Get some sleep."
"But-" She was really nervous, but she didn't really want to admit that. Hard like a diamond, right?
"Stop worrying. It's not like Apple Bloom's gonna kill you or anything tomorrow. Lets get some sleep, okay?"
Reluctantly, she did.
Whelp. Found what I'm going to to do for the next 20 minutes!
YAY update XD
Yay! Update!
Aww, I'm sorry to hear that, Arcum.
Gasp!
Surely my
personal opinionsperfectly insightful edicts-from-on-high can't ever be wrong!Think this chapter is time well spent before getting into Bloom's. The chapter really got Scoots even further into DT's corner. They actually worked together and helped each other. It wasn't just some kind of parasitic henchman relationship like with Silver Spoon. And both of them seemed to realize that was a positive. It makes the next day into a lot less doom-and-gloomy. Scoots will be there to potentially back DT up a bit. Or at least offer some comfort with her presence.
WOOHOO! UPDATE!
Nice nice.
Where we supposed to realize who the sister of the teriyaki stallion was supposed to be? I can't quite figure it out.
Hopefully with Scootaloo's support Apple Bloom won't try to...i dunno, kill her or anything.
This is also partially Scootaloo's story as well. We still need to find out why exactly Scoots is living in the clubhouse!
A very nice chapter, and I can't wait for the next one! It's really understandable if you put your real life over writing this story though, especially due to what you've recently had to go through. I hope all goes well for you.
UPDAAAAAAAAATE WHOO excellent job with this chapter good sir
I don't know how to respond to that.
I'm very sorry. I don't even want to imagine what you must of felt. Thanks for the chapter. If it means anything, I'm actually really happy for this chapter and it finally brought us back to that mystery mare from before. The ominous
made me feel a bit of sadness reading that part. (Likely, though, probably due to thinking this Equestria as more like our world and the things one in Scoot's position do for the sake of survival...)
Well, even mentioning that got me all depressed. I will say aside from that bit, this chapter was really nice. This sets up the meeting AB chapter to come, have a better setup than something about how to take outdoor baths.
*hugs*
I feel a bit bad for poking for updates now. I'm so sorry. Nice to see you have an outlet to deal with your sadness.
Now, you go out there and take as much time as you need for that next chapter to show us things. Amazing things!
Deepest condolences on your mother
You have my condolences to your mother. Sorry to hear about that. But this is a really good story and I like how you make Equestria so similar to our world.
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First of all, thanks to everyone for all the condolences. It's been a few weeks at this point, and I'm coping.
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Thanks!
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Yeah, I always planned to go back to the mare at the stall. And don't worry, I'm not planning on going that dark, and giving her a background like 'it'. She may know some other ponies she can run errands for, though.
I did have fun with this chapter, and I was rather happy to give Mr. Breezy a significant role in it. For actually having a line and a canon name, he doesn't get much fanfic time.
And this is a better setup for the next chapter. This was originally supposed to be part of the previous chapter, really. I just cut it when I did because the chapter was getting long and I was only halfway through it. And I was at a good stopping point, of course.
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Well, the stallion had a red mane and cream colored coat...
And I did give more of Scootaloo's background in this chapter, really. Now you've got a better idea of how she'd been getting by. I do plan on giving that backstory... eventually.
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Yeah, I'd planned on getting them closer at some point, and this just worked well, and was pretty natural. Of course, neither of them are really sold on it yet. This works well with my eventual plans for them, though.
--arcum42
3889829 yeah, I couldn't get past the description on "IT"
I do like the tumblr they have of Glitter though, been months since I've followed it though. I'll try reading through "IT" some other time though, I had a nice fun time playing some Shining Force EXA on ps2 today and I feel happy. Not in the mood, despite being dead tired having gone 4 hours past my sleep limit somehow.
(I swear I only meant to test the game... not play it tonight... who knew it'd be THAT good?)
Well, glad to hear the story isn't going to imply things to be that dark. Though, certainly wouldn't past any of the ponies in that Universe to be honest.
Anyhow, good night! And again, this really was a fun chapter, Mr. Breezy helping Scoots like that with such a reliable weekly fund seems pretty cool of him. Shame Scoot's homeless thing will only get her so far. Somepony's going to be asking questions eventually if she keeps up what she's doing. Maybe, who knows. I love her independent nature, very resourceful.
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It does fully deserve a mature sex tag, I'll warn you.
And while I could picture Scootaloo teaching Diamond how to turn tricks outside some seedy bar, that's not nearly where I want to go with this.
"First you raise your tail like this, and sorta sway while walking, so he follows you down the alley, right?"
"And then what?"
"I thump him in the head from behind and swipe his saddlebags."
No, not happening.
And I had a lot of fun with Mr. Breezy. Not sure why no one else uses him. Scoots knowing him is canon.
Scootaloo is somewhat on the edge as far as her homelessness goes, really. You can only push things so far. Eventually someone'd notice. She's only gotten this far by having a far bigger support network then she really thinks.
I am enjoying her character in this, though.
--arcum42
I dont really have anything productive to say about this chapter aside from glorious amounts of praise! This has to be one of my favorite fics, and keeping track of its updates is probably the main reason I made an account here.
The time between chapters doesnt bother me at all, and I personally think you should take all the time you need for yourwelf whenever you need it! I really hope things are going better for you.
Oh yeah, Applejack! And she still has no idea what's going on. This is going to be awesome.
There is one thing I wonder Is how The Apples are going feel if learn how Filthy dealt with Diamond Tiara i.e. by kicking her out of the house and onto the streets.
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Glad you're enjoying it so far. It's an interesting feeling knowing that you are the main reason someone registered their account.
And don't worry, I'm managing.
3898804
No she doesn't. Had to rewrite her dialogue, too, because I wasn't satisfied with how it was going the first time.
And next is the much anticipated reappearance of Apple Bloom in the story. I almost think that even if I made them fight in a cage match to the death in the next chapter, it'd be a letdown. (Though with two broken legs, it wouldn't be much of a match...)
3899538
Well, what did Applejack say?
I doubt she'd be happy to learn that Filthy Rich thinks differently.
--arcum42
3899569
I must say, you've got her voice down well. Even though you don't write her accent she does sound very much like Applejack.
3900146
Thanks. That's one of the big reasons I rewrote that section. I got a fair amount of feedback a while ago that I shouldn't try to write her accent out with 'Ah's' and such, and just concentrate more on word choice, so I went with that. Your mind puts the accent in anyways, as long as it's worded right.
--arcum42
Ah, nicely done, Applejack. Rubbing it in without even trying. Or more than intended anyway. And AJ hit on a question I had in mind too. I was wondering if Scootaloo would be okay with being seen walking around town with Diamond Tiara, so I was a little surprised that she herself didn't mind talking with AJ while Diamond was with her. I guess it just didn't really occur to her that it might seem strange for them to be seen together.
Anyway, gap or no, it was an entertaining chapter, with at least a few little amusing bits, like the "clean homeless loser" line, or the "all you can eat" sign at the flower shop. But I think the funniest thing wasn't that the kid got carried away by the propeller hat, but rather how much Tiara just shrugged it off as not her problem.
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AJ certainly wouldn't have said a few of the things she did if she knew the full situation. As far as Scootaloo goes, she's reluctantly getting used to Diamond being there, and she can be a bit oblivious at times, so she didn't happen to think about it.
The townspeople will have to get used to far stranger sights soon anyways. :)
I think people tend to forget the real reason ponies would be interested in flower shops, so I couldn't resist. And yeah, Diamond's just learning empathy. She doesn't exactly have it down yet.
--arcum42
I'm very sorry your mother died.
The biggest plus for me in this case is that you don't cough up Diamond Tiara's personality and make the process of transformation rather slow and painful. Having her come around would be a slow process that would involve the kind of blame shifting she attempts in this story. Reformation fics are very prone to this type of problem, so I'm glad you avoid it.
The biggest negative is that I have to do some enormous hand waves. The first is Filthy Rich. We know so little about him, but the impression left by the show is that he's decent. It's real hard to believe he would render his daughter homeless like that and at least right now, we aren't given anything that would explain the deviation. While I understand Equestria isn't the real world, I think the level of morality is at least similar and ditching your kid like that is a felony. I know it will bite him eventually, but it requires a big hand wave to think he'd do it in the first place.
The other is that I'm unsure how the whole town doesn't know about DT's situation if Pinkie does. The problem with your explanation about a Pinkie promise is it's logical conclusion gets really ugly. Hell, even if this fic it comes across terribly. I understand not using her position to spread gossip, but she's so dedicated to it she'd let children remain homeless one of whom was just abandoned? If she overheard DT saying I ran away from home because Daddy's always touching me would she really say nothing? Even in this case she is ignoring his already felonious behavior. Looking oblivious to the whole thing is better than that.
3936270
Thanks, I have been concentrating pretty hard on her state of mind and making sure changes are gradual. Of course, it may still be a little fast, given it's only been a few days, even if its been nine chapters, but I'm trying to make sure that part of things is at least somewhat believable.
As far as hand waves regarding Filthy Rich, the thing to keep in mind is that I know why Filthy Rich is acting the way he is. Because I'm following Diamond, I haven't had much of a chance to work more about it into the story. Though I did drop at least one or two things in the first chapter related to the subject. We just haven't been near Filthy Rich since then. I do have an explanation, though, and have had it in mind since before I started posting. How satisfying it is, well, we'll see.
Pinkie's a bit more problematic, admittedly. It has only been a few days, though, and enough was said that she'd have a fair idea that Scootaloo had her in hand for the moment. There's also a matter of trying to make sure she has all the facts straight.
Think of it more that she's going to try to deal with things behind the scenes first, though. She'll be watching for Diamond, trying to find out more of what happened, and trying to see what she can do to help. And she is honestly, likely to confront Diamond about it at some point.
I'll just have to try to keep in mind her side of things while keeping in mind what's happening with Mr. Greywithers, Filthy, Diamond, Scootaloo, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and such. Of course, I was already planning on Sugarcube Corner coming up in the near future anyways..
--arcum42
3932442
Thanks. I'm managing, though.
3937536 I'm surprised nobody else(at least as I can see) said anything. I know what it's like, man. Chin up, 'kay?
I CANNOT WAIT FOR UPDATES YOU ARE THE BEST DT WRITER EVER!!!!
3996057
Yeah, things got pretty emotional. There are section in this story I personally have trouble ready back, really.
Glad you are enjoying the story. Not sure I'm really the best DT writer ever, but I appreciate the good words. I'm about two scenes into the next chapter at this point.
4000004
Strange I didn't get an update on your reply until I manually came here.
I know, Magerblue, Mudpony plus a few others are really good writers as well but I was so hype. You story brought me back from my reading/writing haitus and there's just so much to love. I love your potrayal of every single character, btw is this mostly season 2 universe or around season 3 universe?
4010312
Thanks. I just hope I can keep it up. Applejack was hard enough, and now I've got a scene in mind with Rarity, another Pinkie Pie scene, and the much anticipated Apple Bloom scene to handle. None of them are characters I'm really that comfortable with writing, though I've done Apple Bloom enough to think I'll manage her properly.
I am very happy with this version of Diamond Tiara and Scootaloo, I'm pretty fond of Greywithers, even if he hasn't gotten much in the way of scenes, and I like how my version of Mr. Breezy worked out. (This may very well be the best portrayal of him in fanfiction, sadly.) I really need to give Silver Spoon and Twist more time onscreen...
I haven't concentrated too much on when this is set, but it is somewhere in season three, as Babs was mentioned. I'm most likely disregarding Discord being in town, alicorn!Twilight, and season four canon in general. "Flight to the Finish" is incompatible with this story, (due to Scoots home) and I obviously don't have a wacky old butler named Randolph for Diamond. (And I like Greywithers better).
The pity is that my other ongoing story ends up getting neglected in favor of this one more often then it should. This one has a bit more readership, and I keep being inspired more to write on this one then the other. Wish I had more time to write in general lately. I am happy with the scenes I've written so far for the next chapter, though.
--arcum42
4017373
I'm glad you're enjoying it.
For what it's worth, Scootaloo has decided not to cast Diamond to the wolves. Forgiving her and becoming friends with her is a bit harder of a step. It's happening, but begrudgingly on both sides.
Attracting Applejack's attention wasn't intended as malicious on Scootaloo's part; it was more of a "Hey, here's Applejack. She works in the market and she would know" thing, without really thinking about what she'd think about the situation. And she did have a bad moment when she realized that one of her sources of income was gone, but recovered from it pretty quickly, all things considered.
Just figure you don't instantly forgive anyone or put aside a long grudge-match, even if you decide to. It takes a bit of time. And no matter how many chapters I might have done, less than a week has passed...
To confuse things, I'm interpreting Scootaloo rather differently in one of my other fanfics, and there's an entirely different Scootaloo in a third fanfic, so I've got several Scootaloo's running around in my head with different backgrounds and motivations.
I'm around 2.3k into the first draft of the next chapter, btw, and embarrassingly, Apple Bloom has yet to make an appearance...
--arcum42
very sorry for your mother
4141680
And let it get out that she's now a worthless nopony with nothing to her name? It's bad enough that Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle know...
--arcum42
4173198
I'm guessing Apple Bloom did it off screen.
First, I am SO sorry for your loss .
Second:
4602715
Really, you don't say...
The tree house does have a lantern.
6253899
Ah, yes, I'd forgotten about that. Still, it wouldn't have been on when going up there, and needing either batteries or oil, it'd be about the same. I could change the mention of a flashlight to the lantern, though, I suppose.
--arcum42
Poor Button Mash
4602715