When a once in a lifetime meteor shower occurs in the skies of Equestria, many ponies come out for the festivities. With a sense of magic in the night air, young Scootaloo makes a wish on one of the stars falling from the sky. From that moment on, things begin to change in the young fillies life.
(Author note)
This story is going to lead into a Scoota-Dash fic (sisterly!) as it progresses.
Props to The Scratch for proofreading as well!
If you do decide to thumbs down, please let me know why. I am still pretty new into this writing thing, and I want to improve the best I can.
Chapters (2)
I'd be more then happy to preread / proof read for you. Haven't read this yet..about to.
Post Read Edit: I like the concept. I can't wait to see how it all plays out.
However one hole I found was in Celestia's reply letter she said this sort of thing only happened every 2000 years, but at the very start it said 500.
Other wise it was nice and I feel as though your writing skills have great potential to evolve into something great.
2407609 I didnt even catch the 2000/500 thing! I appreciate that, and am about to change it. I would also love it if you could be the pre/proof reader. It would be very much appreciated. :) I do have some plans for this story, and I am actually starting on the next chapter tonight after I change out of this uniform.
Now! I have to ask: When you say "Scoota-Dash" do you mean on the terms of being sisters, or do you mean something more? If it is something more I will be REALLY skeptical of this fic.
The only point on why its "skeptical" and not insta. thumbs down is that: I do not know what wish Scootaloo is going to make. Pulling that off will not be easy, but that is just fair warning.
As for the story as a whole... there is not a lot there yet so I can't pass judgement, but what I can tell you is that this idea is close to another story called "Make A Wish" which is a great story. So if I was you I would would make sure that I am going in a slightly different way then that story.
Some thing that you should always try to practice, I normally aim for around 2,500-4,500 words per a chapter. This keeps people interested and hooked into your story. You don't HAVE to listen that, it is just advice.
By no means am I the be all end all on writing. All of this is only from my point of view, and should NOT be taken offensively. Good luck with your story, I will be watching it closely, and stay awesome.
2447085 It is indeed going to be as sisters! As far as the wish goes, I have plans in my head about where i want to take that, and what I want to mold it into as well. I will definitely check out that other story though, so I can make sure that I'm not going down a similar road to them.
As far as the length goes, I am going to be planning on the chapters being longer (like you stated). This first one was more or less me getting the story started, putting a foothold down for the future.
Definitely check back and see where things go though! I also appreciate your feedback.
Hmmm, not bad, but there are some grading errors. Some logic based, and some others that are grammar. (I am not one to talk too much.) You should really consider tracking down a proofreader.
Other then that its a Slow start, but I do like where it is going and can't wait for the next update.
Stay awesome!
p.s: Once Dash and Scootaloo start to have the spotlight you should toss this at the "Scootalove is Best Love" group.
2462052 I have someone that is doing some proofreading, but they did it last night somewhat late. This update is actually going to be kind of a two part one. I'm planning on having the CMC have their own chapter going on at the same time as this one, to introduce them to the story as well. After that one, the story should start to pick up!
As far as groups go, I'm going to be adding it to some as the story progresses, and I'll definitely put it into that one as well. :) Thanks again! :)
2462052 I'm the proofreader...now I did do this kinda late and on a mobile device no less, so I was a little bit
How many errors are we talking here?
Are they super obvious?
Look at me now, you got me all paranoid
2462203
Well, I was not LOOKING for errors. I just spotted some that drove me a bit up a wall, but overall its not that bad if you ask me. If you ask my lead proofreader on the other hand; some of the stuff I found was close to a war crime. ( don't let him get to you, he is very... passionate about grammar.
)
Anyways, it was just some logic stuff and a bit of grammar in one case. If you want I can shoot you a PM showing where.
Stay awesome!
2462299 I would love that actually
Whatever I need to get better at this whole thing