Sweetie Belle is tired of being so hated by her sister. She starts to fight with her sister more and more, her friends try to help but only end up being pushed away. Rarity notices bandages on Sweetie's legs one day, and starts to worry. She finds a knife under Sweetie's bed and tries to help her before it's too late...
Rated T for more adult language.
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This just isn't my day..
Sweetie Belle has little motivation. One fight and she's contemplating suicide? There should be more going on. Also scene breaks never hurt, but you don't need them if you do it right. You need more practice.
2495229
Well, It wasn't just one fight. It was many, they have been fighting for years and years.
2500659 Okay, I will continue to read this story, as it is relevant to my interests. I would suggest a flashback or something showing that these two fight a lot. Also, their parents are alive and Sweetie lives with them in the show right? Explain why she lives with Rarity, like I said, you need practice.
And then she died, the end... Or at least it feels that way considering the lack of updates.
-Hotwingsrule
If the multiverse theory is true, I wish we were capable of accessing other universes on a whim. Cause then I could go buy a shotgun for a penny, and BLOW OFF RARITY'S MOTHERBUCKING HEAD!!! (The Rarity in the universe that this story takes place in, I mean
)
Putting Sweetie Belle in that kind of light doesn't amuse, impress, or put me in a good mood. Sweetie Belle is my favorite pony!
So you'll understand if this story upsets me a bit.
Right now the only issue I have with this story is the fact that you're calling Sweetie Belle "emo" because she takes up cutting. That's a huge stereotype that needs to just die. Self Injury is something that could effects anyone.
Also, I imagine that some dealing with cutting/self injury will find this at some point, so placing a trigger warning at the beginning might be a good idea.
This is an issue I've dealt with in the past. I don't do it anymore (Haven't in over 2 years, in fact) but I'm speaking from experience with this. Good story so far,, though.
3070583 yup that part needs to die, like how us furry think we want to fuck animals that is bullshit in so many way's i will bet the living shit out of someone for saying that.
but stereotype will always be part of us humans what make us humans.
2779214 it's turning out to be true but not yet been parvoent 100% to be real and true but it's there.
They say along time a go our multiverse hit an other one you know our unverse is like a bubble and for all we know theres one coming at us very solw and met hit us like the last one and when it does we will know for sure it's true or not.
am not giving a like yet anyway need more detil than what your showing.
3087522 Very true. That's why whenever I see people trying to make everything politically correct, I just shake my head in bewilderment. As long as each person is different, that kind of thing will exist. (I'm not talking about racial slurs here, those are horrible things to say regardless.
3092208 remember we are in fact a faction base race we want to live how we see fit but when others don't see it that way we fight it or try our best to get out of it.
I can't wait for our kind to become to the star living off the gexel and that what not beside once than we can't stop the fight but some will try to go into the dark and live on there own little world to find a new.
one day we will one day coexistence but we can't stop the wars no matter what I've learn this along time ago
plz continue
More I demand more
I want to see were this story goes.
HOLY SHIT UR EMO GAY BOY
moreeee pls
more, more, MORE!!!
MOAR DAMNIT!!!!! IT'S BEEN TOO LONG!
Dude wtf wayyy to short and some grammar issues like for example if you were to write dialogue for a character you would do this
And RD said something back to LD it would be like this
in this storie you wrote it all on one paragraph and that would make logic if the same character was saying something else
Does Sweetie Belle have depression? This is interesting.