• Published 5th Feb 2012
  • 1,028 Views, 6 Comments

Drawing A Blank - Rysonn

Story of the Blanks fanfic. Semi-dark with my own story developments thrown in.

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Chapter 3

Applebloom’s mind raced with thoughts of what she had seen, and despite all she thought, she couldn’t place it. She found no way for the pieces to fit together. Even with the vision freshly engraved in her mind, she still couldn’t see a solution, didn’t find a way out, couldn’t see a reason.

She brought her eyes open gradually, to find the golden suns of Ruby’s eyes peering into her own. An expression of rich desire and satisfaction lit her face, and her gaze was set upon Applebloom, as she slowly began her approach.

“Join me, friend….. We need you…. We wont let them turn you into one of them…….. We will keep you pure….”

Applebloom wanted to run, wanted to scream, but her body disobeyed her. She stared ahead, as the pony’s flesh melted away from her, until there was nothing left but bone, and the two all-seeing eyes of gold.

She got a twitch out of her left hoof, and that was enough to break her out of the trance. She screamed, a full-blooded screech of raw terror, and dived through the window of her room, sending herself plunging to ground beneath her. She landed hard, finding a bed of shattered glass awaiting her.

Stumbling to her hooves, she ran, ignoring the pain, forcing herself to abstain from thinking about the streams of blood falling to the grass beneath her. The eyes were everywhere, ever-present, ever watching, never once altering their gaze, staring blankly down at her.

She sprinted on, leaving her acreage behind, finding her only asylum in the solitude of flight. She ran for Ponyville, unwilling to let her fear engulf her, not letting the weight of the moonbeams encumber her.

A thought struck her, and she found it sickened and repulsed her, but she felt strangely deified. She couldn’t understand herself, wanted to believe she was still sane, but was no longer convinced that she ever was. She ran on.

Weakness in her limbs set in on her, proceeded by blurring vision, before she collapsed to the ground, unable to run any longer. She stared in a half-numbed state of agony, as the ponies of bone slowly converged on her. Her blood had nearly run dry, and all that coursed through her veins was fear.

She screamed again, watching in agony and fear, the ponies of bone plodded slowly toward her. The distance was drawing to a close, and she stared as the eyes drew nearer in the rotting skull of the pony she would have called a friend.

The eyes were set down at her. They looked almost to be pitying her. She knew better. She let out a cry of bitter agony, and watched helplessly as her own flesh burned away with the her identity, and all she once knew. The tears finally broke loose, and begun their justified descent down her cheeks. Falling to the ground as they went, the drops of pain burned across her face, as the flames licked up all her life, and left her a form of bone in a pile of ash.

The golden orbs had brought it to completion. All that remained of Applebloom had been devoured by the curse, and she was lost in its demonic grasp for death.

Comments ( 4 )

Nice. Far too short. A bit flowery, but good vocabulary. My main concern is that the plot moves way too quickly. A few of the events seem kind of out of order, but they work well this way. I give 3 and half stars out of five. You've done a good job but there's room for improvement. Keep going. :twilightsmile:

189133 Thanks you for the feedback. I couldn't agree more with what youve said, but this is one of my older works, and i plan on eventually revising it, i just wanted to see what the people here thought first. Again, thank you.


This is very well written in my opinion. I love the plot twist the most though. :scootangel:

2792660 I think the pacing is way too fast, but if you say so! Thanks so much! Be sure to check out some of my other stories if you liked this one~

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