Sweets is being abused for her lesbian interests, and Scootaloo is the only one willing to stand by her in her plight. Sad and dramatic is how id describe it. I wrote this based on some experiences of my own(most of this is a true story) and titled it and adapted it to the song "Make it Stop (September's Children)" by Rise Against.
Tell me what you think.
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Wow...*is speechless*
This story touches so close to home for me its unimaginable
This is so gripping and everything described was so much how I felt after I had been made out as the nerd, pathetic low life at my school... The cutting scene brought a tear to my eye, due to the fact that I know that pain. This was a incredible read.
Hmmm... It's all right so far. I find it hard to form a proper opinion based on what you have so far - we're not far enough into the story, yet. I await more, and will form a proper opinion once I've read what you deliver. Keep up the good work.
Wow I didn't like tiara and spoon before but now a really hate them....
43409 so ill take it my work did something for you. thank you for reading.
43384 I understand. thank you for reading, there will be more to come.
43354 That is more what i was going for. Im glad you liked the story, and im sorry you can relate to it. thank you for reading.
43330 Im not sure whether or not that's a good or bad thing, but nevertheless, thank you for reading.
I don't really understand why you would use any of the fillies, it's hard to see a kid that's like 8 years old with any sexual interest. It would make more sense to me if you used one of the older characters instead. There was a couple of misspellings too, but other than that you've made a interesting story that I'll be reading in the future sometime soon. 4/5
43629 higher rating than id have given it. and idfk, i just write it. "Children" would translate to "Fillies" in pony forn, which is why i used the fillies. Thew description, if im not mistaken, should point you to the song "Make It Stop (September's Children) by Rise Against. Thanks for reading.
43760
Personally, given the translation between "quinciniera" (butchered spelling, I'm sure) and "cuteciniera," I'm inclined to say that far from being 8 or so, the CMC's and such are closer to the pony equivalent of coming of age, so that'd put them at just about the right age for this sort of torment.
The sad thing is... I could have seen this story going a much, much darker place, potentially.
I like it though, for a strange quantity of 'like.' It's good, but in the way sad fics usually are.
44048 thats somewhat how i feel aswell. they cant be too young.
Thank you. initially, this was intended for the 'darker place' youre thinking of. Based on a true story, one of my friends from middle school had this happen to her, i was going to tell her story, her full story, but i already have two stories of that sort on my DeviantArt, so i decided to leave mildly clean. Thank you for reading.
43468
A good thing to be sure! I never imagined there were ponies (people) like Tiara and Silver out there...I have a friend who is struggling as well. I showed her this and she loved it. so Thank You
45986 ... you showed them THIS? and she liked it? that really surprises me. your welcome, i guess!
46315
what?
Dude, you seriously should continue this story, I'm loving it!
2363612 Thanks for the kind words, but I'm afraid that the 20+ hours I've already spent trying to make a continuation were enough for me. If the urge strikes me to try again, perhaps someday I will, but as of right now, I'm not officially trying to write more.
2366272
Then I will just have to wait and pray for it to happen. I can be patient if I try to
2368793 Alrighty then~!
One question I have for this is at the end of chapter two. Who was the one who was acting like she was talking to an angel also another WHY HAVENT WRITTEN MORE THIS FIC IS GREAT
3485499 Thank you for reading, glad you enjoyed it. And I never really thought of it as an angel, but that's sort of the idea. The ending of Chapter 2 is supposed to play on how the troubles of others can make us see something we'd forgotten inside of ourselves, and it was intended to be Scootaloo talking (through memory and imagination) to the spirit--or angel--of her dead mother.
I've tried VERY hard to continue this story, but it has been to no avail. Honestly, at this point, I've pretty much dismissed chapter 2 as not even being part of the story. Chapter 1 i think is meant to be the end, i'm sorry.