2361234 well, in his current state, he probably has the mindset of us everyday people, as in when we eat nearly everything we can think of and make that we have at home, and we have the same materials needed to make it again, we're all like "....oh god damnit, there's nothing to eat......huh.....maybe ill go eat some Burger King or something....now where's my wallet"
“C-c’mon Spike, yer not gonna rape me, are ya?! hearing these words coming out of applejack is like crashing your motorcycle on a car then being flung 20ft only to do a complete barrel roll and ending up on your two legs and just walk away like a boss. they're both rare occurences, but are something you should take pride on getting
Very nice continuation. You're definately getting the hang of this. Have you made any decisions about how you plan to end this, though? Presumably, Spike is going to end up doing all the Mane 6...but what happens then? This clop has good plot, and good clop plot is only really enjoyable if the plot is as full fleshed out as the clop.
i will have you know that that was the most sickening, repulsive, gag-inducing, vilest, and repugnant thing i've ever had the utmost pleasure having my speakers alway turned up while my grandma was home, and it produced so much awkwardness and shame that even hitler looked at me and thought....
The chapter and the accent are good! Interesting how you make the "slice of life" of Spike in the story. I really like it! A risentirci in seguito, spero!
They're the Anthro type; they're basically the 'same' but their bodies are human shaped with hands and feet. They have the same heads, fur pattern/traits, furry ears, etc. But of course, hence they wear clothing normally. I still use the text that is used in the show just for the hell of it. As if I said 'girl' instead of 'mare', well then they would be completely human with no traces of furry but held traits of those characters (like a human girl with Rainbow Dash's rainbow hair, her 'athletic' body, etc.)
Another sweet chapter and i feel you did a most excellent job with the apples voices and mannerisms. I do hope you're not rushing each chapter though, as it seemed there were a fair bit of grammatical issues in this part. It's something i've seen before in plenty of author's works (including my own), but i could also be imagining things.
this is a good story i'd still find it hilarious if one got pregnant from it. i'm a fan of reactions and wel...panic,chaos, and disorder. it'd be funny to me
but i enjoy this story. who's next? RAINBOW DASH! please?
You're forgetting the Twilight-Spike dynamic underlined in Owl's Well That Ends Well. While I typically agree that Celestia saw to Spike's basic needs until Twilight was old enough, it's been Twilight taking care of his formative years afterwards. They are acknowledged as family by all but blood.
It also doesn't matter if he's 13-14. Dragon aging groups are canonically different, as he's STILL referred to as a "baby dragon". Not, "young drake" or "teenager" (we've seen those, don't forget - they're much more developed). Any way you want to throw math at it, point remains he's still an infant of his species, and Twilight is still his big-sister/mother figure who is raising him. There's no way around that.
Also whoa there partner, you were sounding reasonable (even if wrong) there until you got down to fapping. No need to get defensive, no one's going to spill your secret when it's already a clopfic. Relax.
Great story. Love it so far. You could use an editor to look over your story to fix any grammer problem's you missed,but other then that i am loving this story so far. and if others give you crap about your first fic,well just sing this song :D
2360547 Well, yeah, that;s why I didn't bring that up. I meant more like how Twilight feels about sleeping with Spike or what she's thinking while it's happening and the same for Spike.
Fair enough. But, it's also a good way to lose readers if too many mistakes arise from such. I'm not one, but i've noticed there are quite a few grammar nazi's around who just can't enjoy an otherwise perfectly good story because of tiny mistakes and there are also some authors who'll hang up their quill because of that.
But, it's also a good way to lose readers if too many mistakes arise from such.
I couldn't agree with you more. Although I don't really mind mistakes for some strange reason. It gives me the chance to offer my editing/proofing services, and help people out, which is what I like to do, when I'm not writing my own stories.
i've noticed there are quite a few grammar nazi's around who just can't enjoy an otherwise perfectly good story because of tiny mistakes
I'm a grammar Nazi, but like I said up there ^, I can read any story, as long as it has structure and meaning behind it.
2364584 Most excellent. I actually find such refreshing to hear and i'm the same way. It takes a lot to annoy me out of reading a good story. Hopefully my fears are completely unfounded and we can all continue to enjoy this awesome tale.
I was worried there for a moment. But thankfully Applejack didn't forget the most important rule of a strip-tease.
And that's why she's best pony.
2363484 Nice to see I share the same taste in clop as my favorite authors. The world needs more Spike x Mane 6 Absolutely Everymare stories... hint-hint.
2363649 But it doesn't matter how Spike's age compares to the rest of his species, he doesn't live with them. He lives with ponies, and his maturity level both emotionally and intellectually should be judged by their benchmarks.
That makes no sense, sorry. I have no problem with the fact that any of this happened. My problem is the guy was complaining about Shining Armor x Twilight, when Spike x Twilight is... much worse along the lines of what he apparently doesn't like. Yet he didn't complain about Spike x Twilight.
The blonde mare smiled sweetly as she slowly wiggled out of her jeans and revealed her panties: green, they carried shapes of tiny white apples in random patterns. Afterwards, Applejack slowly took off her red plaid shirt and her white T-shirt, revealing her bra that matched perfectly with her panties. Applejack slowly took her time removing her panties as she slowly wiggled out of them and slowly removed her bra, presenting all of her body for Spike. But of course, she kept her hat on with a smile.
2363649 Except that his mentality and age would be considered the level of a teenager by pony society, and, no, Celestia raised Spike because Twilight was too young for that kind of responsibility. If you want to leave your new born with a four or five year old go ahead... it'll probably make depressing news later. Yes, they're very close, like family, but childhood friends hooking up happens. And since Spike is a citizen and resident of Equestria, as long as he's of age by their laws and fully capable of making that decision with awareness of the possible consequences, he can fuck anyone who consents. It's not a matter of math as much as politics.
Okay, I appear to be the only person who thinks the dragon balls joke is old and overused, but the rest of the humor in this is very amusing. I mean come on, "You can talk to my penis", that's just gold! I really like that you don't have Spike running around all animalistic like in the episode, but that we still see it at times. It's a nice blend of what happened while keeping it your own. Plus, a Spike story without sarcasm and witty remarks, that just sounds sad.
Now as for the sex scene, huge improvement, and you weren't bad before, don't get me wrong. But you really did a excellent job of blending feelings and thoughts with actions this time. Usually people say things like, less tell more show, drives me nuts as I never fell that really gives authors enough to go on, but this is what they want. Showing us their personalities so that we connect with the characters while still telling us about some very hot dragon on pony sex (or whatever is actually happening). This is what makes it sex with Applejack and Spike and not just no name A and no name B. So well done. Now, I think your word choice could still improve, and you really want to try to elude more as it helps with that and it prevents repetition. Prime example.
Pulling his penis out, he immediately began stroking his penis as much as he possibly could, not missing an inch of his flesh and moaning louder than her as he shot a healthy long trail of semen towards the blonde mare.
You have penis twice and it's really not necessary either time. A simple reword and it could sound like this.
Pulling out, he immediately began stroking himself as much as he possibly could, not missing an inch of his flesh and moaning louder than her as he shot a healthy long trail of semen towards the blonde mare.
I believe most would agree that that sounds better.
Honestly, I really think you have something great going here, and I believe if you keep improving like you are it could really be something amazing. Forward, shall we?
You only addressed LEGAL concerns. No one gave a flip about political considerations. What was up on the block was the morality of the issue. And again, I'm going to say it one last time: I have no problem with Spike running around raping everyone.
I am pointing out that the guy I was originally speaking to before the rest of you got involved was bitching about Shining/Twilight incest when the virtual incest of Spike/Twilight is fine with him. I only stated that Spike/Twilight is of an even dirtier kink persuasion. The laws mean absolutely nothing, we have a baby dragon in the body of a teenager of his species essentially knocking up his own mother-figure/older sister-figure. And also as stated, Spike and Twilight have been together for years and she sees to his needs from everything we're given in canon sources. It's not up for debate. They have a family dynamic that only lacks blood relation - arguments are pointless as this is canonical. - They'd /have/ to have that setup anyway if we look at Just For Sidekicks, where we see that Spike's basically not even a -person- in Equestrian society. The train conductor says he can't let all the animals on the train without a chaperone, despite Spike standing right there discussing it with him - Spike comes back with three blank flank little girls and suddenly it's acceptable for three small children to buy tickets for his train AND allow a flock of animals on board. That flock of animals, therefore, also includes Spike - since three little girls are official chaperones and he, assistant to the personal protege of the land's ruler, is not. - Also savior of the Crystal Empire, which is where the train was headed to. So if we want to get legal over it, this probably also counts as virtual bestiality and virtual mother/son big sister/little brother incest. But, that's not what my original argument was about.
All I'm saying is Shining/Twi is actually pretty tame in comparison. The rest of you turned this into something more than it needed to be.
2375520 Except Spike does the cooking, we see it multiple times, Spike has a job, Spike takes care of the library and does most of the cleaning; plus, he's only left alone all the time. And since they don't share blood no matter how much you say it is, it will never be incest. They live together, they're close, they're family in the same sense a lot of close friends consider themselves family. Amazingly roommates, are not in the act of incest if they sleep together, unless they're actually related. Lauren Faust said it herself, that even though it's never directly mentioned in the show she always saw Spike as being raised by Celestia because of Twilight's age, of course since she's no longer part of the show the current writers could change that if they wanted to, which they haven't. And the train conductor is a expert on dragons? The doctor had no clue, chances are his decision was based purely on the fact he has no idea about dragons and, if he's wrong and lets him on, he could lose his job. Not losing your job is important to some. Your entire argument is based on your headcannon that Twi is Spike's mom and raised him, and in no way the cannon actuality you keep claiming.
Because we don't see that many Cadence fics period. I mean, you think we would, but it's pretty rare. A lot of Cadence, Twilight pics though.
Definitely looking forward to the rest of the chapters in this story.
There's something wrong, spike actually cooks for twilight, he's like a freaking chef lol
Good stuff mon ami. Can't wait for the next chapter.
2361234
well, in his current state, he probably has the mindset of us everyday people, as in when we eat nearly everything we can think of and make that we have at home, and we have the same materials needed to make it again, we're all like "....oh god damnit, there's nothing to eat......huh.....maybe ill go eat some Burger King or something....now where's my wallet"
“C-c’mon Spike, yer not gonna rape me, are ya?!
hearing these words coming out of applejack is like crashing your motorcycle on a car then being flung 20ft only to do a complete barrel roll and ending up on your two legs and just walk away like a boss. they're both rare occurences, but are something you should take pride on getting
Very nice continuation. You're definately getting the hang of this.
Have you made any decisions about how you plan to end this, though? Presumably, Spike is going to end up doing all the Mane 6...but what happens then? This clop has good plot, and good clop plot is only really enjoyable if the plot is as full fleshed out as the clop.
i1257.photobucket.com/albums/ii516/Klutzybear/tumblr_lxqbmjCtP71r3xauuo1_1280.png
I love this story.
clop epic
2360519
i will have you know that that was the most sickening, repulsive, gag-inducing, vilest, and repugnant thing i've ever had the utmost pleasure having my speakers alway turned up while my grandma was home, and it produced so much awkwardness and shame that even hitler looked at me and thought....
"wow, thats tore up.......that is TORE.......UP."
but nonetheless thx you've made my week anyway
good stuff
other than Spike not being able to cook, this chapter was fucking awesome
I think Antro ponies?
For sale, used and slightly broken Applejack
If Spike keeps this up he's going to wind up with INERT Dragon balls.
The chapter and the accent are good! Interesting how you make the "slice of life" of Spike in the story.
I really like it!
A risentirci in seguito, spero!
Wait...this story is going to get more erotic?
cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/31342135.jpg
2361855
They're the Anthro type; they're basically the 'same' but their bodies are human shaped with hands and feet. They have the same heads, fur pattern/traits, furry ears, etc. But of course, hence they wear clothing normally. I still use the text that is used in the show just for the hell of it. As if I said 'girl' instead of 'mare', well then they would be completely human with no traces of furry but held traits of those characters (like a human girl with Rainbow Dash's rainbow hair, her 'athletic' body, etc.)
I hope that made sense .
Oh dear this reminds me of that comic Dragon You Over. Which took place a year after that episode.
Spike better be careful with those dragon balls; he wouldn't want to conjure up a dark star dragon, now would he?
Heh heh. Dragon Ball jokes. I like.
Another sweet chapter and i feel you did a most excellent job with the apples voices and mannerisms. I do hope you're not rushing each chapter though, as it seemed there were a fair bit of grammatical issues in this part. It's something i've seen before in plenty of author's works (including my own), but i could also be imagining things.
Regardless, i'm looking forward to more.
this is a good story
i'd still find it hilarious if one got pregnant from it. i'm a fan of reactions and wel...panic,chaos, and disorder. it'd be funny to me
but i enjoy this story. who's next? RAINBOW DASH! please?
I was really pumped to read this story...
but then I read it.
And I could not handle your level of grammar that well...
needs work. And an editor
2360015
You're forgetting the Twilight-Spike dynamic underlined in Owl's Well That Ends Well. While I typically agree that Celestia saw to Spike's basic needs until Twilight was old enough, it's been Twilight taking care of his formative years afterwards. They are acknowledged as family by all but blood.
It also doesn't matter if he's 13-14. Dragon aging groups are canonically different, as he's STILL referred to as a "baby dragon". Not, "young drake" or "teenager" (we've seen those, don't forget - they're much more developed). Any way you want to throw math at it, point remains he's still an infant of his species, and Twilight is still his big-sister/mother figure who is raising him. There's no way around that.
Also whoa there partner, you were sounding reasonable (even if wrong) there until you got down to fapping. No need to get defensive, no one's going to spill your secret when it's already a clopfic. Relax.
Great story. Love it so far. You could use an editor to look over your story to fix any grammer problem's you missed,but other then that i am loving this story so far.
and if others give you crap about your first fic,well just sing this song :D
This pleases me so you shall live a bit longer to make more. That is all
so... who's next?
2360547 Well, yeah, that;s why I didn't bring that up. I meant more like how Twilight feels about sleeping with Spike or what she's thinking while it's happening and the same for Spike.
I get the felling that Rainbow Dash is next. Following Pinkie, Futtershy, and last Rarity.
Fyi Spike is putting all the stallions to shame.
2363361
No offense meant, but publishing chapters fast is a way to almost guarantee a trip to the feature box.
Erotic urges for some Popeye forearms havin', wierd elbow lookin', three-toed, big butted Dragon punk?
2364259:
Fair enough. But, it's also a good way to lose readers if too many mistakes arise from such. I'm not one, but i've noticed there are quite a few grammar nazi's around who just can't enjoy an otherwise perfectly good story because of tiny mistakes and there are also some authors who'll hang up their quill because of that.
I just don't want such things to happen here.
2364394
I couldn't agree with you more. Although I don't really mind mistakes for some strange reason. It gives me the chance to offer my editing/proofing services, and help people out, which is what I like to do, when I'm not writing my own stories.
I'm a grammar Nazi, but like I said up there ^, I can read any story, as long as it has structure and meaning behind it.
taste should probably be take
otherwise very good
2364584 Most excellent. I actually find such refreshing to hear and i'm the same way. It takes a lot to annoy me out of reading a good story. Hopefully my fears are completely unfounded and we can all continue to enjoy this awesome tale.
2364386
Snowflake: YEAH!!!
Why is this not tagged as humanized?
Sooooo…who's next? ????
I was worried there for a moment. But thankfully Applejack didn't forget the most important rule of a strip-tease.
And that's why she's best pony.
2363484 Nice to see I share the same taste in clop as my favorite authors. The world needs more Spike x Mane 6
Absolutely Everymarestories... hint-hint.images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120620232620/dragonball/images/2/24/DragonBalls.jpg
2363649 But it doesn't matter how Spike's age compares to the rest of his species, he doesn't live with them. He lives with ponies, and his maturity level both emotionally and intellectually should be judged by their benchmarks.
2369128
That makes no sense, sorry. I have no problem with the fact that any of this happened. My problem is the guy was complaining about Shining Armor x Twilight, when Spike x Twilight is... much worse along the lines of what he apparently doesn't like. Yet he didn't complain about Spike x Twilight.
2369194 I don't like either ship, since they do not involve Rainbow Dash.
2369207
Dash-only shipping? That's so...
Manestream.
2369123
Fucking ROFL
Seriously?
I recommend using more adjectives.
2363649 Except that his mentality and age would be considered the level of a teenager by pony society, and, no, Celestia raised Spike because Twilight was too young for that kind of responsibility. If you want to leave your new born with a four or five year old go ahead... it'll probably make depressing news later. Yes, they're very close, like family, but childhood friends hooking up happens. And since Spike is a citizen and resident of Equestria, as long as he's of age by their laws and fully capable of making that decision with awareness of the possible consequences, he can fuck anyone who consents. It's not a matter of math as much as politics.
Okay, I appear to be the only person who thinks the dragon balls joke is old and overused, but the rest of the humor in this is very amusing. I mean come on, "You can talk to my penis", that's just gold! I really like that you don't have Spike running around all animalistic like in the episode, but that we still see it at times. It's a nice blend of what happened while keeping it your own. Plus, a Spike story without sarcasm and witty remarks, that just sounds sad.
Now as for the sex scene, huge improvement, and you weren't bad before, don't get me wrong. But you really did a excellent job of blending feelings and thoughts with actions this time. Usually people say things like, less tell more show, drives me nuts as I never fell that really gives authors enough to go on, but this is what they want. Showing us their personalities so that we connect with the characters while still telling us about some very hot dragon on pony sex (or whatever is actually happening). This is what makes it sex with Applejack and Spike and not just no name A and no name B. So well done. Now, I think your word choice could still improve, and you really want to try to elude more as it helps with that and it prevents repetition. Prime example.
You have penis twice and it's really not necessary either time. A simple reword and it could sound like this.
I believe most would agree that that sounds better.
Honestly, I really think you have something great going here, and I believe if you keep improving like you are it could really be something amazing. Forward, shall we?
2374202
You only addressed LEGAL concerns. No one gave a flip about political considerations. What was up on the block was the morality of the issue. And again, I'm going to say it one last time: I have no problem with Spike running around raping everyone.
I am pointing out that the guy I was originally speaking to before the rest of you got involved was bitching about Shining/Twilight incest when the virtual incest of Spike/Twilight is fine with him. I only stated that Spike/Twilight is of an even dirtier kink persuasion. The laws mean absolutely nothing, we have a baby dragon in the body of a teenager of his species essentially knocking up his own mother-figure/older sister-figure. And also as stated, Spike and Twilight have been together for years and she sees to his needs from everything we're given in canon sources. It's not up for debate. They have a family dynamic that only lacks blood relation - arguments are pointless as this is canonical. - They'd /have/ to have that setup anyway if we look at Just For Sidekicks, where we see that Spike's basically not even a -person- in Equestrian society. The train conductor says he can't let all the animals on the train without a chaperone, despite Spike standing right there discussing it with him - Spike comes back with three blank flank little girls and suddenly it's acceptable for three small children to buy tickets for his train AND allow a flock of animals on board. That flock of animals, therefore, also includes Spike - since three little girls are official chaperones and he, assistant to the personal protege of the land's ruler, is not. - Also savior of the Crystal Empire, which is where the train was headed to. So if we want to get legal over it, this probably also counts as virtual bestiality and virtual mother/son big sister/little brother incest. But, that's not what my original argument was about.
All I'm saying is Shining/Twi is actually pretty tame in comparison. The rest of you turned this into something more than it needed to be.
Sidenote: Why don't we ever see more Twi/Cadence?
2375520 Except Spike does the cooking, we see it multiple times, Spike has a job, Spike takes care of the library and does most of the cleaning; plus, he's only left alone all the time. And since they don't share blood no matter how much you say it is, it will never be incest. They live together, they're close, they're family in the same sense a lot of close friends consider themselves family. Amazingly roommates, are not in the act of incest if they sleep together, unless they're actually related. Lauren Faust said it herself, that even though it's never directly mentioned in the show she always saw Spike as being raised by Celestia because of Twilight's age, of course since she's no longer part of the show the current writers could change that if they wanted to, which they haven't. And the train conductor is a expert on dragons? The doctor had no clue, chances are his decision was based purely on the fact he has no idea about dragons and, if he's wrong and lets him on, he could lose his job. Not losing your job is important to some. Your entire argument is based on your headcannon that Twi is Spike's mom and raised him, and in no way the cannon actuality you keep claiming.
Because we don't see that many Cadence fics period. I mean, you think we would, but it's pretty rare. A lot of Cadence, Twilight pics though.
2366749 do humans have tails? manes,horns, or cutiemarks? unless i got a magic tattoo on my ass id say you need to check the description