Hot chapter, but you seem to keep repeating Twilight and Applejack name's more then is necessary and I think you meant to write 'growling' not 'growing' a couple of times. And for later remember, Spike's a DRAGON so heat shouldn't even be an problem for him.
Other then that good clop scene! Glad to see at least Rainbow greatly approve's of his growth spurt.
2377326 Just wonder was all. Also wondering how this story is gonna end. Is Spike gonna go back to normal and if he does will everypony start treating him like a baby again just cause of his small size despite him bedding all 6 of them?
Unless she's suddenly escorting another female, I believe you meant "Squirming" right?
His body was pressing hard against her own, as he started to growl in an aggressive tone. Spike’s growing came in perfect sync
Is Spike's Genital growing, such as getting larger cause of imminent release or is he supposed to be Growling? All that aside. Great job, as always looking forward to more
Another excellent show that while this is comedic and funny, it's also romantic and kind of touching. Rainbow Dash's characterization particularly, wonderful.
Not much I can say that I haven't already except, stop using meat, please? Seriously, think about the context where a penis is called meat, it's not sexy or sensual. If you really feel the need to be clear that it's his penis, try dragon- or drakehood. It'll do wonders.
2377430 Good fortune comes to individuals whom can find the end of a rainbow. Anything could be at the end of it: A pot of gold, a leprechaun, a car, a unicorn and etc. : " I made it to the end of Dashie's. I got a mare's virginity, Mind blowing sex and I tasted rainbows." : "Wanna go again Spike?"
Now that was an awesome chapter. I kinda figured Rainbow Dash was like that - well if she was bisexual at least.
Now, I wonder...which pony is coming next? Fluttershy, Rarity or Pinkie Pie? Thinking about the first I think of gentle, sweet stuff... ...the second...I don't know? 'Sophisticated sex'? Or a dirty mare inside Rarity? And Pinkie Pie...even thinking of her scares me. Pinkie has practically endless energy, access to hammerspace and a certain sense for foreplay (remember all her costumes?). This could end...bad for Spike.
Hmm, the story seems a bit wordy for my liking. A lot of the clauses and words tend to be redundant and can be removed. For example, "body sweat" is redundant. What other kind of sweat would the reader think of? Or trying to explain motives behind the characters' actions during a sex scene. The "omniscient narrator" angle is kind of taken to extremes here.
Gah! That sounded kind of jerky. I like the premise and all. It's just the redundant wording that's getting me. Also, with greed in the picture, we gonna see Spike turn into a feral fuckbeast? =3
Wow. It was so beautiful....I know it was just made for clopping, but this chapter in particular is pure erotic prose here. You got the sweet, delicate side of Rainbow Dash here perfectly with this. It's always refreshing to know that even though she's a tomboy, she's still a delicate flower. A little surprising that Dash was a virgin, but once again, bonus points for making her bisexual. Also, even though that Spike here was showing his growth spurt, he was still showing that he is maturing, and not just getting bigger, from how he sensually made love to (not just mindlessly fuck) Rainbow.
Now according to the episode, if I'm looking at it correctly, Fluttershy's next. I am looking deliciously forward to the next chapter. I'm willing to bet that the complete 180 that was done here for Rainbow is gonna do the same thing for Fluttershy (cue "mistress fluttershy dominatrix image" )
Ah....poor Rainbow a pink cabin Wonder if Spike will buck Derpy or even one of he Goddesses Shit, you done very, very well for this. A few errors buit really nothing major, very impressed. I'll be skipping over the Spike/Rarity if you are doing that for I'm not a fan of that pairing at all, just letting you know. I love anal, but have no clue one. Spike is one very lucky dragon, I appuld him And now back to Twilight's, Rainbow seemed a tad bit OOC in this chapter, but it's chill, NEXT!!
(If you've seen pony simulator then you would get this. ) Spike really came inside Rainbowdash! I don't normally come around clopfics, for I am the type of brony that thinks ponies who clop to things like this is strange, I find this very well done, few errors here and there but alas who doesn't make errors? I'm really liking this story line you've got here. now if you exscuse me I need to settle down my raging boner
Hmmm.... The sun just got hotter and hotter, huh? I think somepony's a little jealous... Maybe even jealous enough to call Spike away on some more "royal business"...
Christ, you're late to the debate, you also bring up no interesting points that would make it worth getting into it with you. I'm not here to sit and listen to your issues with me, because frankly I don't get paid to do that. If you want to vent, go ahead and vent - I completely understand the need to do that, believe me. But at least try not to phrase it like you're baiting me back to the table. It's only polite.
The ideas I proposed in counter to the ones being crammed down my throat by people like you who really had no business showing up with your picket signs acting like I'm some sort of Mongol horde trying to break down the gates of your silly little headcanon camps, still stand. If you don't like that, no one's forcing you to respond. I've said my bit several times now, and I've been nice enough to come back more than I wanted to, in order not to leave people hanging - which I feel is rather rude when someone's looking for a pleasant debate - but at this point my charity for this thread is running out. This isn't even really about the story anymore (not that it was, it was just that I didn't agree with the one guy's view on the different relatives of incest present in the story - I was actually defending part of the story) so it doesn't need to continue.
It was a good chapter, but you need to read and edit it when your done writing. Grammatical errors and awkward sentence structure takes an immense amount away from the story.
I could never imagine rimming an ass... too gross for me. I was fearful of this chapter when I read that Dash was fingering her ass. I figured that you'd have an anal scene, which I'm not the biggest fan of. I guess I'm just super happy that you at least had him finish in her jay-jay once.
Pink.
A very well written chapter. Rainbow got it good.
Nice clop scene, it was better then Twi's and AJ's.
Is this gonna have just the Mane 6 or are there gonna be others as well?
2377097
Just the 'mane' six. I am keeping this somewhat canon to the episode that this is based on.
Hot chapter, but you seem to keep repeating Twilight and Applejack name's more then is necessary and I think you meant to write 'growling' not 'growing' a couple of times. And for later remember, Spike's a DRAGON so heat shouldn't even be an problem for him.
Other then that good clop scene! Glad to see at least Rainbow greatly approve's of his growth spurt.
2377367
Yes but given by the intense sex, he's burning up his body more than he can handle. Also, I am fighting stereotypes here lol.
Thanks for reading!
2377326 Just wonder was all. Also wondering how this story is gonna end. Is Spike gonna go back to normal and if he does will everypony start treating him like a baby again just cause of his small size despite him bedding all 6 of them?
2377425
No spoilers. Sorry.
You do know that dragons have two penises.
Weird, correct?
Unless she's suddenly escorting another female, I believe you meant "Squirming" right?
Is Spike's Genital growing, such as getting larger cause of imminent release or is he supposed to be Growling?
All that aside. Great job, as always looking forward to more
2377326
So no Zecora or that pony vet (I think her name was Mane Goodall)?
Another excellent show that while this is comedic and funny, it's also romantic and kind of touching. Rainbow Dash's characterization particularly, wonderful.
Not much I can say that I haven't already except, stop using meat, please? Seriously, think about the context where a penis is called meat, it's not sexy or sensual. If you really feel the need to be clear that it's his penis, try dragon- or drakehood. It'll do wonders.
I CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME!!
`A most excellent chapter. I highly enjoyed the emotion (sexual and otherwise) portrayed here. Looking forward to more.
Zomg, a Pink house? Mare in the big pink house? Terrifying thought!
This chapter with Rainbow Dash.... Wow. Just WOW!
2377430 Good fortune comes to individuals whom can find the end of a rainbow.
Anything could be at the end of it: A pot of gold, a leprechaun, a car, a unicorn and etc.
: " I made it to the end of Dashie's. I got a mare's virginity, Mind blowing sex
and I tasted rainbows."
: "Wanna go again Spike?"
damn that was awesome
when you say Valor do you mean Vigor?
2377326 you should do some others like the either the princesses or Lyra, or hell other background characters as Bonus Chapters
Now that was an awesome chapter. I kinda figured Rainbow Dash was like that - well if she was bisexual at least.
Now, I wonder...which pony is coming next? Fluttershy, Rarity or Pinkie Pie?
Thinking about the first I think of gentle, sweet stuff...
...the second...I don't know? 'Sophisticated sex'? Or a dirty mare inside Rarity?
And Pinkie Pie...even thinking of her scares me. Pinkie has practically endless energy, access to hammerspace and a certain sense for foreplay (remember all her costumes?). This could end...bad for Spike.
i tought that RD was a girl
2379126
Typo; thanks for pointing that out as I tend to miss those even when I am doing some final editing.
Dang, RD one was definitely the best yet, i bet she is going to be obsessed with spike from now, all the girls will fight over him for sure
Also, lot of pregnant mares?
dude Spike is one lucky bastered
Hmm, the story seems a bit wordy for my liking. A lot of the clauses and words tend to be redundant and can be removed. For example, "body sweat" is redundant. What other kind of sweat would the reader think of? Or trying to explain motives behind the characters' actions during a sex scene. The "omniscient narrator" angle is kind of taken to extremes here.
Gah! That sounded kind of jerky. I like the premise and all. It's just the redundant wording that's getting me. Also, with greed in the picture, we gonna see Spike turn into a feral fuckbeast? =3
Spike tasted the rainbow alright... And that statement about liking rainbows without being gay... I agree with that. :P
2381738
I saw your username around and then I was reminded of skittles hence I used that for the chapter title lol.
Glad you liked it!
Wow. It was so beautiful....I know it was just made for clopping, but this chapter in particular is pure erotic prose here. You got the sweet, delicate side of Rainbow Dash here perfectly with this. It's always refreshing to know that even though she's a tomboy, she's still a delicate flower. A little surprising that Dash was a virgin, but once again, bonus points for making her bisexual. Also, even though that Spike here was showing his growth spurt, he was still showing that he is maturing, and not just getting bigger, from how he sensually made love to (not just mindlessly fuck) Rainbow.
Now according to the episode, if I'm looking at it correctly, Fluttershy's next. I am looking deliciously forward to the next chapter. I'm willing to bet that the complete 180 that was done here for Rainbow is gonna do the same thing for Fluttershy (cue "mistress fluttershy dominatrix image" )
Oh, my sweet Celestia! Sun power? Molestia is watching you cloped with RD, Spike!
Another amazing chapter, keep up the good work!
2384766
Hey you just gave me a idea!
2358716
You're next Mrs. Cake.
Ah....poor Rainbow a pink cabin Wonder if Spike will buck Derpy or even one of he Goddesses Shit, you done very, very well for this. A few errors buit really nothing major, very impressed. I'll be skipping over the Spike/Rarity if you are doing that for I'm not a fan of that pairing at all, just letting you know. I love anal, but have no clue one. Spike is one very lucky dragon, I appuld him And now back to Twilight's, Rainbow seemed a tad bit OOC in this chapter, but it's chill, NEXT!!
2384776 Mrs. Cake: "Why are you looking at me like that Spike?"
: "Decisions. Decisions."
(If you've seen pony simulator then you would get this. ) Spike really came inside Rainbowdash! I don't normally come around clopfics, for I am the type of brony that thinks ponies who clop to things like this is strange, I find this very well done, few errors here and there but alas who doesn't make errors? I'm really liking this story line you've got here. now if you exscuse me I need to settle down my raging boner
Hmmm.... The sun just got hotter and hotter, huh? I think somepony's a little jealous... Maybe even jealous enough to call Spike away on some more "royal business"...
2393907
Christ, you're late to the debate, you also bring up no interesting points that would make it worth getting into it with you. I'm not here to sit and listen to your issues with me, because frankly I don't get paid to do that. If you want to vent, go ahead and vent - I completely understand the need to do that, believe me. But at least try not to phrase it like you're baiting me back to the table. It's only polite.
The ideas I proposed in counter to the ones being crammed down my throat by people like you who really had no business showing up with your picket signs acting like I'm some sort of Mongol horde trying to break down the gates of your silly little headcanon camps, still stand. If you don't like that, no one's forcing you to respond. I've said my bit several times now, and I've been nice enough to come back more than I wanted to, in order not to leave people hanging - which I feel is rather rude when someone's looking for a pleasant debate - but at this point my charity for this thread is running out. This isn't even really about the story anymore (not that it was, it was just that I didn't agree with the one guy's view on the different relatives of incest present in the story - I was actually defending part of the story) so it doesn't need to continue.
That was hot...in more ways than one. If you are going in order of the actual episode, I believe Fluttershy is next.
It was a good chapter, but you need to read and edit it when your done writing. Grammatical errors and awkward sentence structure takes an immense amount away from the story.
That was hot!
I couldn't stop laughing when Dash realized what Pinkie and Derpy did to 'The Cabin on the Beach'
imagine a seal yelling:
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
I mean in the sense of her jubilation of course.
I could never imagine rimming an ass... too gross for me. I was fearful of this chapter when I read that Dash was fingering her ass. I figured that you'd have an anal scene, which I'm not the biggest fan of. I guess I'm just super happy that you at least had him finish in her jay-jay once.
~SolidFire
I CAME.............to read.
umm you do know that it's biologicly impossible for reptiles like dragons to sweat right there scales prevent there bodies from losing water
oh & brotally. NO. JUST NO.
seriously that joke was so bad it even made flutters cry
(i originaly wrote pinkie but i couldn't find sad pinkie emoji)