An Eque$trian Payday

by The card holder

Jewelry $tore

Outside a certain jewelry store, an unmarked blue van backed into an alley. Four suited men got out of the back once they were sure no one was looking.

"I'll wait for ya here," the driver told the crew over the radio.

"Okay, Vlad wants us to take a tiara from the back somewhere, probably in a safe. If you want, we can also go ahead and clear out the rest of the store, too. But careful, you got cameras and guards to deal with," Bain said.

"I spotted a metal detector," Dallas whispered, causing the others to stop before they entered the store.

"There's gotta be a switch somewhere," Hoxton said, getting ready to go behind the store. "I'll take care of it." The Brit put on his mask and drew his suppressed handgun, while the other three waited outside, blending in to the passing civilians.

"Alright, metal detector down."

Now with the way clear, Wolf, Chains, and Dallas all entered the store and began looking over what they had to offer. They also spotted a camera behind one of the counters, but that could easily be dealt with when it was time.

The three of them could hear a muffled pop and the sound of a body hitting the ground in the alley behind the store, and Wolf tried to cover up the noise with a small coughing fit. It seemed to have worked, as the civilians inside were still none the wiser.

"Excuse me, sir, are you looking for anything in particular?" a pony clerk asked Dallas, who had gone through almost the entire store by now.

"Yeah, I'm looking for something for a friend," he told her, trying not to sound too suspicious.

"Well, what's the occasion?"

While the two of them talked, Wolf subconsciously itched his thigh, where his gun was holstered. He knew that doing things quietly was the smoothest way to do them, but he still preferred to at least be the one waving the gun around in those situations.

Suddenly, there was a rapid series of footsteps, and the three incognito criminals turned to see three ski mask wearing thugs, all armed with handguns. "Everyone get your hands up, now!" the lead one ordered.

There were a few screams in the group of people, but everyone complied, including Dallas, Chains, and Wolf, who were waiting for their chance to turn the tables.

"Shit, amateur jewelry store robbers," Bain said. "Silent alarm's already gone off, so once you get a chance, show these rookies how it's done."

The lead goon walked up to the counter, while the other two began breaking display cases and bagging up jewelry. "Put all the cash in the register in the bag," he told the clerk, who whimpered as she did just that.

From the back of the store, Chains spied Hoxton, creeping along the wall to try and stay hidden.

Outside, cops pulled up. They took defensive positions, while the three thugs started moving further into the store.

"This is the police!" one of the cops said over a megaphone. "Come out with your hands up!"

This caused the goons to break their attention off the people for a second, which was all the opportunity that the crew needed. In a blur of movement, Dallas and Chains jumped back as Hoxton came walking into the front of the store, popping each thug in the head, one by one. Once they were all dead, he looked to the cashier, who looked to be equal parts scared and relieved. "Oh, thank you, whoever you are!" the mare started, but stopped as the masked man's gun was now pointed at her.

"I didn't say you could stop bagging the cash, did I?"

The other three leaped into action, masking up and shouting all the civilians to the ground. Wolf fired off a few shots at the cops, busting out the front windows of the store and taking out two of them. Dallas took the bags the thugs packed and threw them into the back, where Chains just threw down a bag full of spare mags.

Hoxton, meanwhile, went to one of the safes in the back and began to pick the lock. It was slow work, so the others made sure to cover him.

"Too much heat, I gotta split!" the driver told them.

"I'm moving the escape car," Bain said, "just focus on finding that tiara."

More police cars arrived outside, followed by a couple of SWAT vans.

"They're sending hostage rescue units to free the civilians, make sure they leave empty handed- or in a bag."

Hoxton finished cracking the first safe, only to see that it only held some cash. Grumbling, he went ahead and pocketed the money while going back to the front to help the others with their firefight.

Meanwhile, Wolf went to the other side room, where the other safe was located. Deciding that picking the lock took too long, he took out a lump of C4 and applied it to the safe, before flipping the switch and backing up. The explosive blew the door off the safe, revealing the tiara behind it, which the Swede pocketed. "Got it!" he told the others.

"Great, now just hold out until the escape car returns. You'll probably have to push through the cops, so be ready for that."

Now with nothing left to do but survive, the four began to take defensive positions as more cops showed up.

Chains called out a Tazer, which was quickly gunned down by Wolf. Wolf then spotted a Shield, and Dallas waited until he turned to fire off a clean headshot.

Soon, however, there was a compelling reason to fall back. "It's a motherfucking Bulldozer!" Wolf shouted, and the four all focused fire on the heavily armored unit. Their bullets tore off bits and pieces of its armor, until finally the faceplate broke, and a blast from Chains's shotgun finished him off.

"Bulldozer's dead!" he reported, reloading while ducking for cover.

The assault started to die down, and not too long after their driver returned. "Get the bags to the van, if you're feeling greedy!" Bain told them, and they did just that.

However, the area outside the store was filled with cops and SWAT, so to help thin them out, Wolf pulled the pin on a grenade.

"Get the fuck down!" he yelled as he threw it, placing it perfectly at the feet of a few SWAT units. They tried to get away, but the grenade went off before they could, and in the confusion brought on by the blast, the four got all the bags in the van and left, carrying the entire stock of the jewelry store with them.

---

Back at their safe house, the crew celebrated another job well done by spending a few bits at the bar. While there, Bain complimented them.

"Nice save back there. Maybe next time we won't run into any more amateurs."

"Well, we all have to start somewhere," Dallas said. "I mean, really, they were just in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"Regardless, that's in the past. I'll arrange for Vlad to get the tiara tomorrow. For now, just enjoy your earnings."

Back at the head of the bar, a series of male voices began escalating, shouting encouragement at the TV. This was soon followed by a large collective cheer, and one voice cursing loudly in Swedish.

Author's Note:

It should be known that Wolf is my favorite heister.
Also, non-British Hoxton is kinda starting to grow on me, and I don't like it

Comments

[AlphaThroughZeta]

DERPY GOLD MUFFIN HEIST

[The card holder]

3602603
No

[jifbua]

wolf is best heister whats next nightclub?
"and wolf stay of the dance floor"-bain

[Hatty_Hattington]

3602603
That's a stupid idea, and you should feel bad for even thinking about it

[snipesalot0]

Holy shit this story has all my yes.

[Registered Anonymous]

By chance will we be seeing anymore of Twilight in the chapters to come? With all these crimes happening in Canterlot Twilight must be a little bit curious about this wouldn't you say?

[AlphaThroughZeta]

3602642

NOT EVEN A two METRIC TONNE GOLD MUFFIN ( a metric tonne is 2000 pounds)

Which WOULD MAKE THE HEIST ABSOLUTLEY WORTH WORKING FOR A PONY WITH DERP EYES

have the story be that it WAS a family heirloom that got stolen from the hooves family and she wants them to steal it back

along with anything that particuly tickles their fancy

[Saint Kelly]

3604953 Jesus fucking Christ he is not going to do it... i talk to him almost daily so i doubt he is going to do something so fucking retarded

[Saint Kelly]

3604953 Thats what i thought bitch

[snipesalot0]

Will there be a special Charlie Santa heist :3?

[Strat]

3643207
Or perhaps a hearth's warming eve heist? In which they break a criminal out of cops hands dressed as santa. Which would be a christmas heist. Damn it brain.

[snipesalot0]

3667391 They should totally break British Hoxton out of prison :D But seriously I'd like to see a hearth warming eves/ Christmas heist.

[Jack Kellar]

3604953 Your grammar issues and liberal use of ASSCAPS don't make authors particularly endeared to your insane ideas, buddy.

[DaUnusedAccount]

Wats wrong with the new hoxton i know it sucks but hes still awesome right?

[Ernest Wood]

3604953 How about. No.

[Gear_change]

3604953
I honestly want to make a heist where you have to do that, though I have no kidding experience whatsoever