• Published 24th Mar 2013
  • 7,664 Views, 473 Comments

An Eque$trian Payday - The card holder



A group of robbers end up at ground zero of Earth and Equestria having portals opening between them. The robbers blend in with the crowd and bide their time; at least, until they decide that Equestria has some nifty things to steal...

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Final Briefing

Applejack entered the library, where Twilight and the others were waiting for her. "Now what is it ya wanted t' see us for, Twi?" she asked.

"Yeah, Twilight, what's up?" Dash questioned.

"I'm glad you're all here, girls. You know the Gala is in just a few days?"

"Yeah, so?"

"Well, I just wanted to make sure we had a plan, so we avoid a repeat of..." Twilight shuddered slightly. "...that last time."

From a corner of the room, Kevin spoke up. "What happened last time?"

"Well, in a nutshell, everything went horribly wrong," Rarity explained.

"What are the chances of that happening again, then?"


Dallas, Hoxton, Wolf, and Chains all huddled around a drawn-up map of the castle, with various points marked on it.

"Alright, so here's the plan, gentlemen," Bain began, "you'll enter the Gala as guests and blend in; there's a VIP list, but it's still mostly open to the general public. Once you're inside, try to spread out, to cover more ground. Those jammers we placed left a few blind spots, but we can easily fix that with a few placed at ground level."

"Okay, then I'll go to the gardens and slip into the hedge maze," Hoxton said, pointing to the place in question on the map. "From there, I can make my way to where the Elements are kept."

"Sounds good, just keep an eye out for guards. Most of them will be stationed around the ballroom, but there will still be a fair amount patrolling the halls."

"Well, that's all fine, but what about our extraction?" Chains asked. "Even if we grab the Elements, how we gonna slip away?"

"Our clients saw fit to provide your escape, in a simple van parked out back. They have it enchanted to turn invisible on command, so slipping away shouldn't be a problem."

"So, how many are gonna be at the party?"

"It's a rough estimate, but last time I checked, the numbers totaled to about..."


"A hundred fifty?" Kevin asked in disbelief. "That's a lot of people to cram into a single ballroom."

"It will be setting a new record for attendance," Twilight admitted, "but it's still not too far from what it's been in the past."

"Do we really need to go over what to do and not do, though?" Dash complained. "I mean, we all know what we did last time we were there!"

"This way we'll know for sure it won't happen again."

Dash rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

"Anyway, I already made up a schedule for all of us, so we won't end up ruining the whole thing again!"

There was a collective groan between Dash and Kevin, which was accompanied by the looks from the others.

"Twilight, don't you think you're worryin' about this a bit too much?"

"Nonsense, there's no such thing as worrying too much!"

Kevin held up a hand. "Well, actually, it is possible to-"

"Aaaanyway!" Twilight cut him off. "Let's start looking at this, shall we? We'll arrive at around seven PM, and by then we should all be properly dressed. Then, after we get inside, I will stay in the ballroom with Kevin, while Rarity and Fluttershy..."


"-will get positioned in the ideal places to get everyone down if we need to."

"What about the princesses?" Wolf asked. "Wouldn't they throw a snag into the plan?"

"Both of the princesses are currently in Washington for diplomatic reasons. However, there is a camera showing a live feed of the event that she'll be watching, so you'll have to give me time to tap into the broadcast and make sure she doesn't find out what's happening."

"But isn't the door guarding the Elements supposed to be specially locked somehow?" Dallas inquired.

"Yes, it is. It takes magical input from only a few choice ponies, and the princesses are two of them. And as far as I know, it'll be impossible to drill through the door. However, I've found out that one of the other ponies who has authority to open it will be at the Gala, so you might have to pull her away from everyone else."

Dallas sighed. "We're really doing this, aren't we?"

"Damn right we're doing it," Hoxton answered. "Ten billion is well worth the risk."

"Hox has a point," Wolf said.

"Then that's it. In just a few days, we will pull one of the greatest heists ever conceived. All I can say is, good luck, gentlemen."


"...where we'll then come back here by train." Twilight levitated her huge stack of papers onto a nearby table. "So, any questions?"

Not a single appendage was raised, mostly because most of those present had tuned her out at some point. Undeterred, Twilight cheered. "Great! We just stick to this schedule, and this actually will be the best night ever, this time!"

"Hey, don't jinx it," Kevin warned. "You know how the universe loves proving people wrong."

"Well I'm excited!" Pinkie said, hopping in place. "This time, we really will all have fun! What could possibly go wrong?"

Author's Note:

I think I've hyped this up enough now, don't you?