At Elementary School, Rainbow Dash meets Fluttershy, who relays her the legend of the Sonic Rainboom. Supposedly a beautiful sight for all to behold, an event that influences many lives once it occurs. Dash wanted to be a part of it, or at least see one. And one day, she did manage to get a view of it.
Unfortunately, she was the only one who did.
I liked this a lot, but it would have had a much more powerful effect on me emotionally if it hadn't been riddled with errors. Get an editor to help you, because you're a good writer and your stories should be read by more people.
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I truly appreciate your feedback and support. I'm currently in the process of writing chapter 2, though it seems I couldn't avoid making mistakes as much as I thought I would by using MS Word (It did help though).
If you don't mind, could you give me some examples of my mistakes? I need to see what exactly I'm equivocating myself on.
Also, getting an editor seems like a good idea, but I feel as if I will need someone that is a native or at least lives at an English speaking country so I can assure higher quality. I sadly don't know any, but I will try looking for one, thanks for the advice.
Gotta say, I don't always read fics, but when I do, they are pretty damn good. I like the way you're going with it really. Also I did not notice any huge spelling mistakes reading it so I have no idea what parasprite is talking about... maybe just punctuation... It did seem a bit haphazard with that in a few place but I'm not an expert on it so I can't really say for sure.
also the lines involving excitement are used twice really close together in the beginning 2 paragraphs. It was kinda jarring is all.
maybe change "The little filly eyed the building excitedly" to "The little filly eyed the building readily"?
the flow isn't broken by repeating words then :P
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If you put the first chapter on google documents, I'll go through and point out everything for you. ^_^
Or wtf I'll just copy paste it or something actually hur dur
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Here: https://docs.google.com/file/d/0BwN8mFhAbFYbXzNsNkZJWDdmaEk/edit?usp=sharing
You'll also see a tiny chunk of chapter 2, feel free to take a look.
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Thank you, I'll make sure to re-edit a few bits tomorrow after I see what "the parasprite" has found wrong.