A certain boastful mare returns to Ponyville, this time lurking on the shadows of the night, what will the Great and Powerful bring to this peaceful county this time around?
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TwinkleS7ar
Joined 30th Nov, 2011 ·
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Well talk about a cliche story
I still enjoyed reading it regardless
200179
Could you please be more specific? I'd love to improve on it and on my writing in general.
200739
What I meant is I found nothing wrong, its just from vampire story point of view it is quite cliche, as long as you don't involve Twilight-esque stuff. Which brings reason to why I put trollestia there.
I hope to see more good work from you in the future
675344
Really? I swear to you I've never even heard of that story! Is it good? Also, I was planning on ditching this but since people seem to keep finding and tracking it, I might as well continue, soon enough I'm going to expand this chapter (I think it's waaay too short) and write the rest of the story until the end, then I'll make it one massive update to make up for the fact I haven't updated this in a long while.
675385
Thanks, I assure you "copying" this wasn't my intention, and considering its description I can tell you I plan on moving the storyline in a very different way. I'll try putting an update sooner to clear out this possible stigma.
675435
I'll keep it on the "read later" list, it's just that I already had a ton of ideas and even the ending already planned out for this story, but I didn't have the time to write it thanks to school, publishing this chapter was to motivate me to keep it going, and I suppose it somewhat worked, if this was kept on my PC I would have surely deleted it by now, but it's too short and I have so much I want to develop. Still, my school vacation is coming soon, I'll have plenty of time for writing and updating.
675464
Now there's something my history isn't going to be either lol, I'll read both that and Fledged, how come River of Crimson is in your account though? Did the original author used it?
675488
, I'll contact you again by Sunday or Monday about the fic, tomorrow I'll be playing Max Payne 3 and I plan on spending the weekend on it 
Dammit dude, you just made my fan fic pile for today even larger
675526
Speaking of which, I was going to look for an artist and commission a vampire Trixie art, you think you could handle it for me though?
Oh yes, about mines5 and his comment, this history is definitely not heading to "Twilight" territory, I am fortunate enough to have never read it either and while I might just pull the one good idea they had that's about the end of it's similarities.
675635
I'm sure we can find out a way, but right now I gotta go, I'll talk to you Monday.
The description sounds somewhat misleading. I expected this to be about Trixie.
The spelling and grammar is good, but some of the word choices sound strange. It doesn't flow very well. When you're editing, always be asking "How can I make this easier to read?"
Overall, it's not too bad. If you slow down and add a little more detail, it could be better. At the moment it feels a little rushed.
Of course, I'm not one to judge. My vampire fics have not really done what I wanted them to, either.
200179 Hey man, what's up?
700991
I'll be honest, this WAS going to be more Trixie centric... about a year ago when I thought it up. I had a change of heart and now I want to have a deeper focus on Carrot Top's ascension as a vampire. I'll change the description when I have more time. I'll be uploading more chapters this weekend, thank you for the compliments. I'll make sure to take your tips into consideration.
"The spelling and grammar is good, but some of the word choices sound strange", do you mean that some of the times I'm using too many "fancy" words and at times I'm not and it looks irregular?
"At the moment it feels a little rushed." Guilty as charged, it WAS a bit rushed, but that's because I had school so I needed to sleep early, I suppose I'll wait a bit more until July when it's a full blown vacation and take my time, maybe re-do the first chapter as well (I'm also considering doing a chapter name drop in all of them, this is a gimmick I LOVE in the books I read).