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In A Flash of Light

In a burst of light, she vanished. The five ponies didn't know what to do. Their best friend had been taken from them, and they assumed the worst. The evidence given was all they had to work with, and it all led to one thing.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 2 )

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Metool Bard

Metool Bard #1 · Mar 17th, 2013 · 1 · ·

Wow. This is the first time I've read a fic that plays this concept straight and keeps it in canon. Nice.

There were a few grammatical hiccups and odd punctuation choices, but nothing incredibly major. Also, you may want to look up Lavender Unicorn Syndrome and do some tweaks based on that (personally, I don't have as much of a problem with it as others do, but even this was a bit much). Some character reactions were spot-on, while others had me scratching my head (Rainbow can be sympathetic when she wants to be). Overall, it's a nice, simple take on the events between the casting of the spell and Twilight's ascension. And sometimes, simple is best. Good work.

Isumo1489

Isumo1489 #2 · Mar 18th, 2013 · 2 · ·

Woah...I've seen one or two other stories explore the thoughts on the Main six just after Twilight got zapped, but this one both pulled at the feels, and explained how they weren't frantic when she finally arrived. Still, just me personally saying this, Celestia is either 'Just That Good', or she has some serious tendencies towards leaving out critical, need to know, information! (Bert Gummer reference, Hurray Tremors!)

Anyway, well done, and while I'm not the most critical of readers for editing mistakes, any you had didn't cause me to flinch or were noticeable on the initial run through. So overall, great job! I look forward to see more from you in the future!