Part III - "Ponies for the Rider" (Repaving)
"Ponies for the Rider"
Ah, yes... Ponies. Ponies are miniature horse that are usually no more than four feet tall. Lets just say that I never for one moment had ever expected to meet a few intelligent ones. That, however, just happened to be one of the old cases for me that morning. And, by the way, I'm not talking about while I was back at home, no! That would be much too easy for 'ol Flynn. No, I had to awaken to the brisk morning daylight and in a house that wasn't mine. Or should I say, a cottage? Anyway, I awoke in the morning and gave a big yawn. That previous day had been perilous, but I've had worse days, so there wasn't really any real surprise there. Moving on, I got up from bed, and just as I was about to step out of it, I heard a few voices behind the door.
Those voices instantly reminded me of the previous day, and that beautiful voice that I had heard singing throughout the forest. I didn't remember any beautiful maiden or anything, but then again, I didn't remember anything much either. The whispering voices on the other side of the door only began to increase, but I didn't see any problem. It wasn't like a couple of dwarfs were going march in or anything. So naturally, I just collapsed backwards into the bed I was sleeping in and rolled myself around in it. As the voices secretly began to devise some sort of plan outside the bedroom door, my mind automatically began registering their voices as females. It was good news to me, because I knew a woodsman would probably murder me with his ax on the spot. Females happen to be a little more reasonable.
As I lied there waiting, I began to devise a plan of my own. I mean, what if these females were ugly? Okay, sorry, that thought was really mean. Don't worry, I'll fix it right now. What I meant to think was, 'what if these females were evil? What would I do then?' See? No harm done. I corrected my story. I'm Flynn Rider, so live with it. Anyway, first I decided to run past them if anything disturbing were to come along. Second, if they wanted the kill me or something, I'd run away also. Now to think of it, all my plans after those ones included running away. I mean, I didn't really want to hurt anybody, and if I ran away, no one could hurt me and I couldn't hurt them.
Just as I thought I was getting somewhere in my thinking, the door to the bedroom began to slowly creak open. I quickly scrambled in the bed to give the impression that I was still sleeping. I closed my eyes, and began to fake snore. Believe me, I'm good at that. Anyway, what I had decided to do there was listen to their voices, and if they were sexy enough, I'd probably 'wake up.' Pretty clever, right? So as I lay there, I heard a few footsteps as I heard a group of people enter the room. Only, it wasn't people, and it wasn't footsteps I was hearing...
"Ah' can't believe it, Twilight! Fluttershy t'was right!" a feminine voice with a heavy southern accent exclaimed.
'Meow!' I thought to myself.
"Of all the things on earth! What is it?" another feminine voice arose. This feminine voice was much more refined, and sounded exactly like the nobility in a tone that I was used to back on my world.
'Hot!' I thought to myself. And by the way, I'm not a pervert. I just happen to be observant. Remember, I'm a married man. How could you even think like that?
"Looks like some sleeping hairless ape, if you ask me!" a rough, but feminine voice exclaimed.
I was like, what? You calling me ugly? I was about to shoot up go and all Flynn Rider on them! But, instead of losing my nerves, I just kept it cool. I continued my ingenious act and, 'slept' peacefully throughout their conversation.
"Maybe it's related..." another feminine voice implied. This voice seemed a bit plain to me. It was just like any normal voice you could listen to. No accents, just curiosity. "Although," the same voice added. "It could be neither."
'What are these girls talking about? You'd think they've never seen a man before!' I thought to myself.
"Aw, it's so cute! A hairless ape! Can we keep it? Huh, Twilight, huh?" another feminine arose. This one was very... energetic. I guess there is really no way to describe it. The voice was jittery, playful, excited, and everything happy at the exact same time.
'And here's where the ladies start sounding ugly.' I inwardly sighed to myself.
"Looks harmless enough ta' me! Fluttershy, ya' can come in now, sugar cube." the female with the southern accent explained.
I personally didn't know what was going on, but for sure, they were interested in me. And, I could tell if it was in a good way. That helped. A lot. Moving on, eventually another person (or so I thought) entered the room.
"See? Nothin' ta' be worried 'bout!" the southern accent assured.
"Oh, my!" a new voice arose in return to the southern. This voice was soft and gentle. It resembled perfectly the voice of the maiden I heard in the forest. I literally felt like shooting up and surprising them, but I remembered how that didn't work out too well the day before. And so, I just continued my act.
"Fluttershy, do you know what it is?" the curious voice queried.
'Fluttershy?' I thought to myself. 'Isn't that a cute name?'
"Well, no... I've never seen anything like it!" the gentle voice replied.
Okay, that was it. What was going on? These woman hadn't ever seen a man before? Ridiculous! I couldn't take it any longer. I had to 'awaken.' So, in the brilliance of my acting, I sat up with my eyes closed and took a long yawn. I don't mind in telling you that I heard a couple of gasps. I guess they didn't know I worked out, right? Wrong! So I opened my eyes, right? And guess what? No women! Shocker! Instead of pretty little faces surrounding me, there were pretty little pony faces around me. Imagine waking up in a care-bears plush room. You'd be just as scared as I was.
"Umm..." I stammered. "Please tell me that I'm dead?
Then just like that, all the ponies gasped in awe. "Oh my stars!" the purple unicorn with wings exclaimed. "It's a human!" I was as awestruck as much as they were. Talking ponies? Seriously? And I actually thought that my horse Maximus had personality? And by the way, just allow me to mention how many ponies there were quickly. There were six. One was lightly colored orange, and could easily identified as the pony with the southern accent. Another one was Pink, and could also be easily identified. The pink one was obviously the hyper-active super energetic one.
There also happened to be a unicorn in the room as well. She was white, and had have a lovely purple mane drooping gracefully from the top of her head. This unicorn could be identified as the voice with the refined accent. After I had observed these three, I switched my attention to the next three. The next few happened to consist of two Pegasus and a mixture between Unicorn and Pegasus. One of the Pegasus were blue, and and the other one was bright yellow. Each of them were simply adorable, and each could easily be identified as females. Now, the last one was very interesting. She happened to be a unicorn but with wings as well as a horn. I did mention that already, right? Well anyway, I didn't know it at the time, but she was, in fact, an Alicorn.
"A HUMAN?!" all the other ponies exclaimed at once.
As they all stared at me for a moment, and as I stared at them, my heart began to beat faster and faster. My brain just didn't understand how to react to a scenario like that one. All at once a hurricane of mixed feelings aroused inside my body. All at the same time I wanted to hug the poines, kiss them, play with them, share with them, dance with them, and pretty much everything none perverted with them. But also at the same time, I was afraid that they'd bite me, kick me, and pretty much trample me to death as well. I'm telling you right now that being Flynn Rider is no easy task.
"N-nice ponies?" I stuttered. Although I agree with you that it wasn't the most intelligent thing that I could have said, I was proud of myself at that moment for finally being able to come up with something to say.
Just when I thought they were moving in for the kill or something, one of the ponies, which happened to be the purple unicorn/pegasus one, was able to force a smile onto her face. "Is this is your monster, Fluttershy?" she asked as she turned her head towards the obviously shy yellow Pegasus.
"Yes!" the Pegasus replied as she bolted behind one of her friends. "He's the one who frightened me!"
Personally, I was still too nervous to make any objections. That is why I stayed silent.
"This is no monster!" the purple unicorn/pegasus declared happily. "This is a human!"
"Yeah, didn't we already establish that?" the blue Pegasus with rainbow colored mane snapped. "Besides, what's he doing here, and in Fluttershys house at that?"
I honestly still didn't know how react. Was I to attempt to speak any further or was I to await the results? I honestly couldn't decide what to do, and so I just kept silent. In fact, it was easy to keep silent. I was already so confused.
"More importantly," the white unicorn with the purple mane added. "What is he doing in Fluttershys bed?"
"Who cares?" the pink and energetic pony began to say excitedly. "He looks fun!"
Just as I thought she was going to hurt me, that pink 'lil rascal leaped upon my chest and began to ferociously hug me. That's right, I said HUG. I toppled backwards on the bed and began to scream hysterically.
"Whoa! That's enough! Sit pony! Off, pony!" I began to struggle in and out of bed as that pink ball of joy giggled and laughed at my sheer terror to a mere hug.
"YOU'RE SO ADORABLE, BUT YOU MUST STOP THIS ACT OF CUTENESS!" I cried.
At that moment, I began to feel lightheaded. But just as I was about to pass out, a purple blob of some kind of magical energy quickly separated the pink mare from my chest.
"That's enough, Pinkie Pie." that unicorn/pegasus pony laughed. "I think I know what to do..."
I froze and awaited for the worst. I don't mind telling you that even six incredibly adorable ponies can look intimidating when you have NO idea what's going on. So just as I believed that my doom was inevitable, that purple Alicorn stepped forward and courteously introduced herself.
"Hello!" she greeted happily. "Sorry about that! Pinkie Pie just gets excited sometimes. I'm Twilight Sparkle, princess of magic and the star student of princess Celestia. I know that you might be a little frightened, and quite frankly we are too, but would you give us a chance to sort things out?"
I looked straight into her eyes, and then back at the other five. Then again, I looked straight into her eyes, and then back at the other five. Maybe there was something to sort out, and maybe there was also some sort of understanding that we could come to. My heart began to beat smoothly again, and my knees lost their terrible cramps. My expression of awe then suddenly disappeared, and I extended my arm outwards towards them. Then, for a blissful moment I started right back into Twilights eyes.
"Nope!" I exclaimed. "See YAAaaaa!"
I then suddenly bolted out of the bedroom door and made my way down the cottage stairs. What? You actually thought that I was going to all of a sudden just ASSUME that because these ponies were going to be nice to me just because they wanted to introduce themselves politely? For all I knew, that purple Alicorn could have be the reason for why I was stuck in Equestria! Anyway, I heard that blue Pegasus shout when I when I had left the room, "Quick, he's getting away!" However, I didn't care. I was already out of the cottage and on my way down a clearly visible path carved right through the forest. Where it led, I didn't know, but I wasn't about to just stick around that cottage!
For a while or so I ran, and I think that I remember running past some sort of sign or whatever while I was fleeing from those freakishly cute ponies. But I don't remember taking much notice to the sign. All that I knew was that I was heading towards some sort of town or village. It wasn't long before I came insight of this village, and in the distance I coudl see that it was heavily populated. "Yes! Civilization!" I chuckled to myself. I remember thinking to myself how lucky I was to barely escape some obviously wild ponies who had probably been cursed by a witch or something. Okay, I probably didn't think up that exact sentence, but how else did you think I was trying to explain to myself how those ponies had the ability to speak?
So as I arrived at the village, my heart suddenly sank into my chest and my pupils instantly shrunk. The village had a total population of one human being, and that human being would be me. The rest of the residents? Ponies! Ponies everywhere! I couldn't believe what I was seeing. It was an entire village running entirely on pony power! There were all sorts of ponies. Unicorns, Pegasus, you name it. Another interesting fact was that each of the ponies wore a special tattoo on their hind legs to signify their special talent.
I didn't know that factoid at the moment, but you get the picture of its importance. Although we have already established that I am awesome, allow me to tell you this... I fainted. Yes, that's right, I fainted. And, apparently, for a long time too. It would be a whopping 24 hours later that I would awake, and what happens next will have you even more on the edge of your seat!
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This is a really funny story! I liked the humor in Tangled, and Flynn is my fav char there. Can't wait to see what happens next!
Flynn Rider?
First thought: now this is interesting
Second thought: How the hay you're going to create a story good enough to read including Flynn Rider..?
Welp, you already showed how, you've got potential in here
I like how you're making the story from the view of Flynn, him being the "narrator", it gives a different edge to writing and reading stories. And the way you've managed to keep humor near to the "original" one from the film is something that is helping you especially in this story, as Flynn Rider isn't someone I thought I could find in here. Also Flynn stays very well in his character (especially liked the part he corrects himself thinking about these "evil ladies"), although I think he's being a bit push over (my opinion, don't take too seriously)
The way Flynn tells his story is a bit disorienting though, especially when he jumps back to his "main story". It's still good to explain things thoroughly, but maybe he should use some other ways than "anyway" as well to get back to telling the story, as I see him using that a lot. It isn't something that you MUST fix or change, 'cause it's one of the things that gives the story character
I know that I'm sometimes a bit pessimist towards these kinds of stories, but this is something I will be waiting. Keep up the good work!
2879519 Thank you for the feedback! I will do as you have requested, as it is, I, too, have been looking for a way to use another word rather than, 'anyway.' Suggestions? I'd appreciate it! I hope you can see that I've tried my best in the next few chapters!
This story is awesome! Continue! :D
Need more
so far this story is fun to read and having Flynn Rider from Tangled as narrattor and reading it in his voice makes it awesome
anyway im gonna track this fic and add it to favorite list
anyway keep up the good work and gives us MORE!
2880380 Your story is good! Have you thought of getting an editor, though? A few typos make the story a little messy.
3043600
Indeed so. Could you recommend any editors, though? I do not actually know any...
Ooooh, I bet Flynn gets into more trouble!
3461161 Tell me about it. Wait until you see just HOW MUCH trouble he's going to get into...
3461884 Does it involve Celestia?
3461887 Yes, and much more. I'll be re-writing the story this Sunday, hopefully making it more readable and bringing about a few changes.I just hope you like them!
um can we get more chapters soon please
4870680 In all honesty, this is a rather old story. I've worked on about a dozen and a half other stories since this one. I don't know how to say this... but unless this story gets more attention I won't be able to spend anymore time on it. That being said... I might be able to fit one or two more chapters in the meantime. Have a pleasant day!
4870727
thx same to you too.
also well the only way i know that will et this story more attention is to produce more chapters and advertise your story.
and possibly put the story in more groups it can fit in since it will alert more readers who is in the groups when the story is updated etc which will get their attention.
tho please dont let this sotry die since its good and its sad when good stories dies
4874741 Good news. I've decided to drop all other projects and revive this story. How am I going to do that? By completely re-writing it. The same material will still be there, but I'll ultimately be making the story more readable.
4894081
well i wish you good luck and i look forward to see what you write.
FUCK!!!#!$*!$*( WHY!!!