Chapter 37
Construction Work-ers
Heartbreak groaned, leaning against the library door. “Good fucking Gaia. Did they really have to sing?! Did we really have to run around the hardware store? And Rarity with her fucking snickering! If I didn’t know any better I’d swear that she was just encouraging the three of them.”
She knocked on the library door, but was left without an answer. “Twiiiiiilight!” Still no answer. “Ugh, Calm yourself, H.B. You know that ponies sing. You know they spontaneously burst into song. Sometimes good catchy songs, sometimes really, really, really horrible songs that are just forgettable. Dang it! Still no answer? Hmmm, maybe I can try out a, ‘Twilight Impersonation...” She cleared her throat, while pushing herself away from the door. “Spiiiiiiiiiiike!”
A few moments later, Spike answered the door, a look of confusion plastered on his face. “H.B! I almost thought you were Twilight!”
Heartbreak laughed a bit. “Thank you, Spike. I so needed to hear that.”
“Huh?” The little dragon asked scratching his head.
“Never mind, can I come in?” Heartbreak asked slumping a little.
“I don’t see why not... You do live here after all...” Spike replied moving to the side.
“Not any more I don’t...” Heartbreak replied walking past a further confused Spike.
“What do you mean by that?” He asked.
“To make a long story short? I have a house,” Heartbreak eyed Spike as he shut the door. “Whatever, ‘plan,’ Twilight, Rarity and Princess Luna had: worked. I got a house. Not the house that they wanted me to get. But still a house.” She paused and made a subtle motion to let Spike know she wanted her saddlebags taken off. “A house that needs massive repairs and touch ups... Which is why I’m coming here.”
“There was a plan?” Spike asked undoing the latch.
“Always out of the loop,” Heartbreak commented, her ears twitching towards her left side. “Yeah, the three of them had a dream conference and figured that the only way that I would take a house is if Princess Luna was the one offering it to me... In front of a large audience...” Suddenly her voice started to raise. “A plan that was awkward and not too well thought out due to the fact that: A) It was too drawn out! And B) TWILIGHT STOP HIDING I KNOW YOU’RE THERE!”
Twilight walked out from behind the staircase and giggled nervously. “Was it really that obvious?”
Heartbreak gave the purple unicorn a deadpanned look for a few moments before she finally spoke. “That you were hiding? Or that you created an overly complicated plot just so that I would accept taking a house...”
“So I take it that you’re upset with me then?” Twilight asked.
“Yes... and no,” As Heartbreak answered, she took a deep breath through her nose. “On the one side? You sent me away on a long trip with Rarity that just made no sense, made me uncomfortable and put me on the spot. All of which, drained me of my precious, precious energies. Although, the fact that the prior culminated in a private audience with Princess Luna? And compared to today’s events? I would say that those things are now minor annoyances...”
“So... You’re not mad at her?” Spike asked.
Heartbreak looked at Twilight in the eyes. “No, I am not currently mad at her. However...” Her eyes narrowed. “Let’s not do anything like that again in the future? I’m not some little foal meant to be lead around by the nose...”
“Duly noted,” Twilight looked a little worried. “But if you don’t mind me asking, what did happen today? You look just terrible.”
Heartbreak looked at herself in the mirror. What peered back was frazzled mess of tight curls and loose strands. “Fetting-A... Yeah, that. I’ll give you three hints as to what happened...”
“And the first two don’t count?” Spike added smirking.
“Actually no. They all count. They’re small, can be incredibly a-” Heartbreak stopped herself and looked as if she was biting her tongue. “Enthusiastic,” she said through her teeth. “And happen to not have their cutie marks!”
Twilight blinked and then looked at Spike before the answer dawned on them both. “Oooooooh, the Cutie Mark Crusaders...” they said in unison.
“Yes!” Heartbreak smacked her face. “Alright, I’m not going to whine about the whole of the situation, though there are some things in there that happened that I think you should know, before I explain that happy little...” She rolled her hoof fighting to find words. “Bucket of tangles, Twilight. One of which is the strange and sudden appearance of a bit account put in my name at the local Wells Cargo Bank that is ringing to the tune of over nine thousand bits.”
Twilight jumped and shook her head. “Wait, what?”
“Yeah, came totally out of left field here,” Heartbreak started to walk to the kitchen. “But, you are now looking at one wealthy pony...” Her words trailed off into a grumble as she applied her hoof to her face.
Twilight looked at Spike and then back at Heartbreak. “There was some account, in your name, just waiting for you at the bank? And it’s over nine thousand bits? Shouldn’t you be happy about this?”
Heartbreak nuzzled the refrigerator open and laughed a bit. “Heh, over nine thousand...”
Spike blinked. “I don’t get it...”
“Don’t mind me, Spike. I’m just trying to amuse myself, though if you wouldn’t mind? Could you get me some juice, please?” She asked.
“Alright, but only because you said please,” Spike replied taking the picture of amber coloured apple juice from out of the refrigerator.
“Right, like I was saying. No, I am not happy about this. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in life? Even in Equestria there are always strings attached...” Heartbreak took a long drink off the glass being presented to her. “And then there was what happened at the hardware store...”
=======================================================================
This will most likely be the last time I lay in this bed. After I told Twilight about the bit account, I explained to her what happened with the girls. How they wanted to help me with fixing the house, how I was reluctant in anything that involved them putting themselves in danger, the stop at Sugar Cube and finally the event that took place at the hardware store. Staring into the dimmed room, I casually wonder if the place has an actual name.
I mean, I always thought that the library was just called, ‘The Library,’ until I got a copy of, ‘The Elements of Harmony,’ off Amazon and found out that it was called, ‘Golden Oaks Library.’ Man, I was so excited when that book came!
“Shame that it got some water damage... Not horrible water damage... but still...” I toss and turn a bit. Despite being tired, my body is telling me not to sleep: after all, there’s still daylight out! “Ugh, and Twilight’s response to, ‘the cute little fillies were singing and they tricked me into singing with them!’ was so predictable.”
“That’s just what ponies do, H.B!”
“Yeah, and I guess you missed the part about me getting chased around the hardware store. I’m just glad that I was able to cut that conversation short by telling her that I just wanted to go to bed. Hopefully, she’ll have contacted a construction company like I’ve asked her to do...” I turn once more and pull the blanket over me tighter. These ponies do too much for me.
Get me a house, get me a drink, open the door please, do this for me, do that for me. Fuck, I feel like an infant. Sure I can do some things for myself, but others? Totally useless. I can feel the pull of sleep tugging me into it’s embrace.
“Maybe with the new house, that will change...” I mutter to myself, growing drowsy. “After all, I can customize it... Hooks and levers and doors mounted on springs... Yeah... These will soon be a few of my favorite things...”
=======================================================================
Heartbreak sat tiredly at the breakfast table. She let out a wide yawn before proceeding to attempt to shake her mane straight. This only seemed to agitate the already frazzled mess of hair. Looking at the plate that was set before her she moaned and looked at Spike.
"Something wrong?" He asked, pouring a glass of apple juice.
Heartbreak rubbed her head. "No, just a slight headache most likely caused by dehydration. I can't believe you two let me sleep that long..." She looked over at the clock. "It's already getting close to noon."
"Hey, like I said before: We tried to get you up for dinner and you nearly snapped at me..." Spike replied.
"I did?" Heartbreak blinked in confusion.
"Yeah," Spike said popping a straw into Heartbreak's glass.
"I didn't say anything did I?" She asked.
"Not really, just muttering something about, 'singing,' before falling back to sleep." He replied. "I asked Twilight if I should get you up in an hour or so, but she told me that if you really needed the sleep, to let you sleep as long as possible."
"Gawds, I know that, 'singing to express your feelings,' is a thing here, Spike..." She took a long sip of her apple juice. "Mmm, but seriously, that just wiped me out."
"Maybe it wouldn't have wiped you out if you had not fought being a part of it, H.B." Twilight interjected cheerfully walking into the kitchen with a book floating in front of her.
Heartbreak sighed. "Twilight, I was being chased down by three little hyperactive fillies in a store full of sharp tools. There is a bit of panic on my side due to the fact that I didn't want myself nor them to get hurt."
“I remember when I was first swept up in a song,” Twilight said, with a sparkle of nostalgia in her eye. “It was quite the event.”
Spike looked at Twilight questioningly. “If I remember correctly, Celestia said that while your performance was spectacular, you missed the whole point of the song.”
Twilight giggled slightly looking embarrassed. “Look at it this way, H.B: Songs and music are a part of the magic of Equestria. A magic that everypony-” Spike coughed. “Uhm, every being who lives here is a part of. The fact that you were able to join in the song shows that magic can and will affect you.”
Heartbreak only responded by rolling her eyes. “Oh...joy. H.B: Killer of poison joke and poor singer of terrible songs. The only thing that this explains why all of you can do all this without preplanning or choreography.”
Twilight blinked. “‘Killer of poison joke?’” she repeated.
Heartbreak tossed her mane a bit and sighed. “Rarity must have not given you the newest update on, ‘Storm Watch H.B.’”
“Meaning?” Twilight asked tiling her head slightly.
“Meaning that yesterday, we ran into some poison joke,” Heartbreak raised a hoof. “Correction. I ran into some poison joke, nearly panicked and then watched as the poor plant turned black and crumbled under my hooves.” She sighed. “The good news? Unless the joke was, ‘make H.B’s mane messy?’ I haven’t seen any side effects. The bad news? I am going to have to watch myself around the stuff. Not that, ‘staying out of the Everfree Forest,’ is a hard thing to do.”
Twilight looked thoughtful. “Interesting... Do you think it could be an effect of the fae magic?”
Heartbreak rolled her eyes. “Noooo, I was thinking it was because I’m surrounded by invisible winged monkeys that want to do my bidding but keep fuddling up my commands...”
Twilight blinked. “You aren’t being serious here are you?”
Heartbreak face hoofed. “Right, too early for sarcastic quips...”
“I’m sure you weren’t that terrible of a singer, H.B,” Spike said smiling. “Maybe if you really push yourself and practice, you could get good at it!”
“Spike, I was terrible at singing before I was a p-pony. I’m sure that I wasn’t gifted with the ability to sing just because I gained four hooves, a tail and pony ears,” Heartbreak sighed and stretched out. “And in a change of subject...not to be a needy nag, is it ok if I ask for some breakfast?” Twilight and Spike’s face suddenly turned to shock. “What?”
Twilight coughed and opened her mouth only to close it again.
Heartbreak sighed. “I know I’m not one to push the point of, ‘why don’t you just get it out already?’ But... while we are in the privacy of the library, explain why you two are giving me a look like I just skinned somep-p-pony’s pet?”
The horrified expressions on Twilight and Spikes’ face only worsened.
“Alright, maybe that wasn’t the best choice of words here...”
Twilight shook her head from the vulgar images. “Right! You used a word that is akin to a derogatory word from where you’re from.”
Heartbreak blinked and facehoofed. “Oh, right. Nag.”
Both Spike and Twilight cringed as Heartbreak uttered the word again.
“Right. That word. I know that you were pretty... carefree in your use of expletives before...” Twilight bit her lower lip. Telling Heartbreak not to do something seemed to gain the chance of her almost doing that exact thing. “But you might want to watch your language just a little bit...”
The response was pretty standard. A sigh, followed by an eye roll. “Sure thing, Twilight. I’ll make sure that I attempt to curb my tongue. But! Now that that bit of pointless banter is out of the way? Could I get some pancakes, eggs and toast to go with my apple juice? Oh, and before I forget... Did you contact a construction company like I asked?”
Twilight gave the tan mare sitting at her table a bit of a look.
“Uhm... please?” Heartbreak added, her eyes fluttering slightly.
=======================================================================
As I walk through Ponyville, I’m not sure if I am comfortable with what Twilight told me or not.
If Equestria’s magic can get in me, it might be a sign that the Fae magic might not have a full hold on me. Or maybe it would have that effect on any creature that came here. Suddenly the frightening prospect of High School Musical being a real thing enters my head. I shudder as I pass a few on looking ponies.
Or it might mean that this world’s magic is, yet again, eroding at the individual that I was.
I roll my eyes and sigh. Of course, the truly depressing one had to come last! It wouldn’t be a day without Heartbreak if it didn’t!
Whatever, stop mulling on it, damn it. Didn’t we say that we would do less inner monologuing? The good news is that Twilight did indeed contact a group of contractors in the area. The bad news is that they are most likely there now: poking and prodding at my home. Making alterations to my designs without my permission.
Ugh!
I quicken my pace a little. Before I started going on my way back to my house? I picked up a few essentials. And by essentials I mean loose paper, some pencils, erasers and of course: Chocolate.
The chocolate is the heaviest thing I have in my load and I’m realizing that my back? Yeah, while it is almost, ‘designed,’ to carry things? I'm still not used to it. So note to self: maybe I should work on that.
In the mean time? I am nearly back, ‘home.’ Taking a rest next to the sign and take a deep breath. A mixture of trail dust, hot summer air, and... I sniff curiously.
“Wait... is that?” I sniff again and a small spike of panic hits me before I remember something. “Right! Mrs. Cake put my chocolate in plastic bags and in the pouch that doesn’t have my art supplies...” Whew, calm down. Chocolate is safe. Art is safe. Boy, glad one of us was thinking at the time.
After a little bit, I feel a second wind and continue walking down the grassy and unused road. Just then I can hear voices in the distance.
“Now see here! That’s no need to be rude about this!” Rarity’s voice shouts.
“Look Lady,” Replies a rather harsh accented male voice. “We’s got ourselves a call to be fixin’ up this place yesterday. And whiles I’m sures they don’t mean any harm, they are kinda getting in the way.”
“Still! That’s no reason to shout at them! They’re just little fillies after all,” Rarity replies.
“What my coworker is trying to say is that we’re terribly sorry for losing our tempers like that, Miss-”
“Rarity. You may call me, Miss, or Miss Rarity or even just Rarity will do.” Rarity replies as I get closer.
“Yes, Miss Rarity, It won’t happen again, but if you wouldn’t mind? Could you keep them out of harms way?”
“I suppose there is something we can do about the kitchen, do you know by chance if any of the appliances are working or not?” Rarity asks.
I nearly race up to the break in the trees and make my presence known. “Hi! Every! P-p-pony!” I gasp out. Rarity is standing before what looks like three construction worker ponies. Fuck, all three of them are stallions.
There’s a tan-ish thin one with a darker mane, a bulky grey one with a fluffy white mane and the last one has a yellow mane and a sort of golden coat. Really, what can I say? They look like generic background work horse ponies.
“H.B! Darling! It’s about time you’ve arrived!” Rarity says to me. She’s wearing a large sunhat. “These stallions are telling me that-”
“They’re the construction ponies that I asked Twilight for, yes,” I reply looking over my house. Good. They haven’t done any alterations. There is, however, a small trailer parked on the left side of my front yard.
“Oh, well,” Rarity replies. “I didn’t think that you were thinking that far ahead...”
I roll my eyes. Thanks Rarity. No. Calm down, actually talk to Rarity. “Yeah, I did. I want all of this to go as quickly and as smoothly as it possibly can. That way I can go to actually living in my house instead of looking at it from afar.”
“Well, in that case,” Rarity replies smiling a little bit. “I’ll leave you to handle these...” She pauses. “Gentlecolts. I want to see if your kitchen is in proper working order.”
I look at her with concern. Rarity wasn’t the type to do any cooking- “Really? Why? You weren’t ever the type to do any cooking...”
“What?! You must be misremembering, darling. I have done my fair share of cooking in the past. After all, I did help raise Sweetie Belle here!” Rarity pulls her sunglasses down. “But cooking? With the state of your kitchen? You must be joking. I could perhaps put together small snacking foods, some nice fingerling sandwiches, or a few lovely salads. But any real cooking?” She laughs. “Most certainly not! Though, I suppose I could try to think of some designs for your kitchen... That is if you don’t mind...”
I fight the urge to imagine and shudder at the thought of what a, ‘Kitchen by Rarity,’ would look. “It’s a kitchen, Rarity. I’ll just be happy that it has running water and functioning appliances.” I reply.
“Hmph! Even if you feel that way, never underestimate how a wonderfully designed kitchen can make you feel in the morning,” She replies walking towards my front door. “Sweetie Belle! Come along!”
“Oh! Rarity! I have some chocolate that I would like to put in a cool place! Seeing that you’re going in?” I open my saddlebag and pull up the plastic bag. I can feel her tug it away using her magic.
“Alright...” She sighs walking into my house with Sweetie Belle in tow.
Whew. That whole scene could have ended really poorly had I tried to start a fight. I am just going to keep calm and actually take that fucking advice that all the ponies around me keep telling me. I walk up to the three construction workers.
“Alright, now I heard something about the window in front needing replacement and I just wanted to say-” I begin.
“But ya said that we could help ya rebuild, HB!” Apple Bloom cries, tearfully interrupting me. Turning around I look down at the big-eyed whimpering little filly before me. And right next to her is a rather disappointed and grumpy looking Scootaloo. Crap. Not this again... I don’t want this sort of thing twice in the same week!
“No I didn’t. I said that you three could come to my house if you followed my rules,” I reply taking a deep breath. “What’s more, I said that we would talk about it today. However, while I don’t doubt that you three can fix up some superficial things, I seriously don’t think that you could do anything like wiring or plumbing.” I bend my head down and look at the of them in the eyes. “None of you are electricians, nor should you attempt to try and earn your cutie marks in said field. It’s dangerous.”
“Dangerous? Sounds like my kind of work!” Scootaloo exclaims. “Uhm, what does, ‘superficial,’ mean?”
“Uhm-”
“It means the unimportant stuff!” Apple Bloom interjects.
“Hey now!” Crap, they’re going to think that I want them to do bitch work.
“Unimportant stuff?” Scootaloo rolls her eyes. “Great, while these construction ponies are going to be fixing the major things, we’re stuck doing the little things? What if our special talents involve the major things!?”
“Some of the superficial things aren’t unimportant! A house does need a good coat of paint,” I try to explain.
“Pfffft, painting? I’d rather get other ponies to do that,” Scootaloo replies waving her hoof. “You have no idea how easy that can be! All you have to do is pretend to make painting look really fun!”
“Like that one time we all got Snips an’ Snails ta paint the new fence on ma farm?” Apple Bloom asks.
“Yeah!” Scootaloo exclaims.
Turning my head I see the construction worker ponies pointing up at my window. I can overhear them talking about how the window might have to come down due to the vine growing through it. Damn it! Why the fuck do all the ponies here keep wanting to change my house?! It’s my house!
“Look girls,” I rub my head in frustration. “Why don’t you go help Sweetie Belle and Rarity? I have some things I have to take care of...”
“Alright...” Apple Bloom replies disheartened. “Come on Scoots..”
I turn back around and look at the construction workers that are just standing there with blank stares on their faces. Alright, H.B. you can do this. Just have to assert yourself and not be a doormat. You are not a stuttershy.
=======================================================================
Heartbreak took a deep breath before looking at the three workers before her. “Hello, my name is Heartbreak, but I would rather be called, ‘H.B.’”
The tall thin stallion stepped forward and took a slight bow. “Hell-o, my name is Narrow Beam and this would be Bob Plumb,” He motioned to the golden stallion. “And Cast Form. It is a pleasure to meet you mis-”
“Don’t call me, ‘miss,’” Heartbreak narrowed her eyes. “Please call me, ‘H.B.’ Now, I heard some talk about replacing a window?”
“Yeah, with that vine growing through that window? It might crack and get glass everywhere,” Bob Plumb said turning to the house before rubbing his goatee.
“That might be, but we can’t do anything until we get the word from Slide Ruler, you know that...” Cast Form replied.
“I’m guessing that would be your boss,” Heartbreak sighed, rubbing her head. “Right, about the window-”
“Well, before we get to the window, we’re going to have to take care of those nasty looking plants,” Bob interrupted. “When we got here, there were two really big ones with at least two dozen smaller ones. We tried to get close but they started to get aggressive.”
Heartbreak’s face twitched. “You mean my snapdragons?”
“Is that what they’re called?” Cast Form asked.
“Yes, and-” Heartbreak began rubbing her head further.
“Speaking of things that have to go, there’s that large mound thing in the backyard. Not sure what it is, but we’re going to have to get somepony out here to take a look at it,” Bob interrupted peering towards the back.
“Actually-” Heartbreak raised a hoof attempting to reassert herself.
“Then there’s some of the lumber that needs replacing,” Narrow Beam interrupted. “Most of it is a wood called iron wood,” He said winking at Heartbreak.
Heartbreak’s eyes narrowed angrily at the stallion. “You don’t say...”
“Oh yes. It’s a really sturdy, hard wood that is... long lasting, if ya catch my drift...” Narrow Beam nickered.
Heartbreak face-hoofed and kept her hoof in place for a few moments before taking a deep breath. She dropped her hoof and glared at the three workers. “Fascinating, I’m sure. Look. I just want to get two things out in the open here. One, this is my house, I don’t want any alterations to it that aren’t without my permission. Two! The sculpture in back that looks like a brain coral? Leave it alone! That goes for the Snapdragons! If you have a problem with them? Let me take care of it! AND FINALLY...” She growled betwixt her teeth. “Finally, I don’t care how it’s done, the large heart-shaped window is to remain untouched or short of that preserved. Understand?”
The three stallions backed away. “Yeah! Eeesh! No need to get upset!” Narrow Beam said holding up his hooves. “Like we said, we aren’t doing anything until Slide tells us to.” He waggled his eyebrows. “Which means we’re free to do anything else, if you don’t mind me asking-”
“Fet. Locks. Actually, I do mind,” Heartbreak replied rolling her eyes and walking towards her door. “Excuse me, I have to talk to Rarity about something...”
Narrow Beam laughed with the other construction workers as Heartbreak walked into her house.
=======================================================================
Hello, fucking stereotypes. There’s the dopey one, the technical one and the Ash Pedreiro of the group. Fuck, I wonder how he kept himself from doing cat calls at this point.
Every part of me is feeling irritated. It took every ounce of my willpower not to threaten him with something sharp the moment he was dropping subtle, ‘wood,’ hints and waggling his eyebrows at me.
I hit my head against the wall. Fuck! Is every fucking stallion out there to hit on me?! Is this a normal thing here in Equestria!? Why the fuck can’t they be shy and quietly obsess over a little doll or Cheerilee like Big Mac does!?
Closing the broken door behind me I make my way to the kitchen. Applebloom and Scootaloo are seated at the table, while Sweetie Belle is practically glued to her sister at the kitchen sink.
“Darling! I have some good news!” Rarity turns a corner from the kitchen and looks up at me. “The stove, refrigerator and water are working in your kitchen. But the decor is still lacking. Ugh, the drapes in there look like they are at least twenty years out of date and-” She pauses while looking at me. “Is there something wrong, H.B?”
I roll my eyes and take a deep sigh. “No, I’m just fine, Rarity. Just fine. It’s just...” Fuck, I’ve told her how much I hate being hit on by stallions that it all seems redundant.
“Just what?” She asks me. Ugh, fine. Let’s bite the bullet here.
“When I was telling the construction workers out there that nothing was to be changed without my permission, they started talking over me,” I reply. “Then there’s the fact that I swear that one stallion named, ‘Narrow Beam,’ was hitting on me in a not-so-subtle manner.”
“Darling, I think you are a touch too paranoid about stallions seeking romantic advances with you,” Yup, Rarity doesn’t believe me. I feel a sickly drooping feeling about the construction crew that Twilight hired.
“That’s what I thought you would say,” I reply annoyed. Fuck, I have to wonder if this is what it’s like for women in the work place. Not that I needed to have these particular feelings. I treated female co-workers with the same respect that I did my male co-workers. I didn’t make unwanted advances or wolf-whistle at them or treat them any different than I would anyone else!
“However, I can understand if a few things are making you uncomfortable,” Rarity puts a hoof on my shoulder. “And if you are feeling that he is making unwanted advances, then we can talk to Slide Ruler. After all, I would like to give that pony a few pieces of my mind after they called my sister and her friends, ‘little brats!’”
I blink. “Why didn’t you go talk to Slide right afterwards?”
Rarity pushes up her sunglasses. “A lady does not give any colt, no matter how uncouth they are at least one chance to apologize. I suppose there are exceptions to the rule and -”
Suddenly a harsh crash and clattering comes from the kitchen and we both jump.
“WHAT,” I realize I am kind of shouting and lower my voice. “Was that?”
Rarity puts a hoof on her chin and tsks. “Well, it seems that some of the cupboards still had a few miscellaneous items in them. If I were to take a guess? That would be the girls ransacking them. Let me go check in on them, and then the two of us can have a little chat with Mr. Ruler so we can abade your fears about the manners of his construction crew.”
I stand there in uffish thought for a moment. “That... That was something a bit strange. Rarity is actually taking my side in this? I mean she doesn’t believe me completely, but she’s willing to meet me halfway.” I tap my chin. “Maybe she had some sort of epiphany in the middle of the night.”
Rarity’s head pokes out of the kitchen. “Darling, you might want to go ahead, I’ll be here for just a little bit cleaning up- Sweetie Belle! Leave that vegetable cleaver alone!”
“Are you sure you don’t want me to help in there instead?” I ask peeking down the hallway.
“Oh no! It’s quite all right!” Rarity replies accompanied by the sound of clattering metal wears. “Scootaloo! Please get off the table!”
There’s one side of me that wants to go in there and see what’s going on. Just so I can watch. Then there’s the other part of me that says that I should run now before the calamity strikes. And of course there is a tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiny sliver of me that says that I should go in there to help her.
Just then I hear another harsh crash.
“Yeah, she can take care of that,” I mutter to myself, walking back towards the door. Alright; Maybe she’s right. Maybe I was reading that all out of context. Maybe I’m just being a little fussy and paranoid. Maybe-
“Boy, I wouldn’t mind her breaking my heart!”
That’s going to be the first thing I hear out of Narrow Beam’s mouth. No! Wait! Context! You might be taking this out of-
“Dun’t talk to me Narrow,” Cast Form replies.
“Pfff! Whatever, all I’m saying is that she’s one fine looking M-I-L-R!” Narrow Beam says whickering.
ugh, I hate people like that pervy construction dork.
Mare I'd Like to Rut?
Also I wonder if HB kills poison joke because "she can't take a joke"
3623178 And yet there is always. Always one in the group... Glad to see that you are there! Hazzah!
3623242 Yes.
Yeah.....this will get very nasty.
" taking the picture of amber coloured apple juice from out of the refrigerator."
I think the sweetest justice H.B. could enact is let Narrow Beam have his little fantasy about Rarity until he takes it too far.
"What say we ditch your daughter and get us some private one-on-one if you know what I mean?"
"My daught..."
They'll never find the body.
MILF = mother I'd like to fandago with, so I thought MILR would be that, not the rarely used GILF.
I hope Fluttershy teaches H.B. the difference between being cruel to people and standing your ground when people try to manipulate, instead of H.B. either doing both of those or neither.
Teach em a thing or two bout construction!!!
Anger snap: "There are 205 bones in the earth pony and Unicorn body. Are you looking for your personal count to reach 410?"
I imagine HB enjoying all this attention she's getting :) , at least she will get a decent house by the end of it.
...Heartbreak sighed and stretched out. “And in a change of subject...not to be a needy nag, is it ok if I ask for some breakfast?” Twilight and Spike’s face suddenly turned to shock. “What?”
...
I dont get the sense a word was replaced like they assume. Will we get an explanation at some point what "Nag" means to the Ponies?
This will end badly
Well...that was interesting.
Well, Narrow Beam's one dead pony. But hey! At least HB'll get plenty of fertilizer for those lovely snapdragons.
3624295 well this is what I found on wiki 'Nag, a horse that is of low quality.'
For someone who doesn't want to be treated as a female, he is doing a good jod of living up to the stereotypes of such a roll. Admittedly he shouldn't have hit on HB, but that more so because he is on the clock. Instead it seems like we should be angry because of how cheezy he is, since when is someone not being charismatic a reason to be offended by someone?
He should also remember that he is eavesdropping on them, so has no right to be angry with him being honest about his feelings (even though his coworkers seem annoyed). So long as he doesn't harass her or take inappropriate acts to her, HB should just ignore it. Unless she wants to be a moral guardian and show how much of a prude she is. Which comes of as hypocritical not only because of how she acted while on tea, but because she didn't want Celestia to 'fix' her morality to suit ponies. ~*charges her horn and sets mode to liquify*
If she wants to do something, telling their boss. I just realized she hasn't decided what to do, and am probably being influenced by all the comments saying how HB should confront him aggressively (most often it is suggested HB should be violent toward him).
I don't think HB should put up with that, but she doesn't have to either. It's the boss she should be telling her complaints too, NOT the employees! That includes what what she does and doesn't want messed with.
_________
Also, being a nag is someone who complains, it's doesn't just mean an old horse. Nag
3626818 Stop making me want to pick your comments apart!
"For someone who doesn't want to be treated as a female, he is doing a good jod of living up to the stereotypes of such a roll. Admittedly he shouldn't have hit on HB, but that more so because he is on the clock. Instead it seems like we should be angry because of how cheezy he is, since when is someone not being charismatic a reason to be offended by someone? "
HB is just tired of how many stallions it seems that have been hitting on her.
HB "I go out, stallion hits on me. I leave the house Stallion hits on me. I'm practically in my house. Stallion. Hits. On. Me. "
"He should also remember that he is eavesdropping on them, so has no right to be angry with him being honest about his feelings (even though his coworkers seem annoyed). So long as he doesn't harass her or take inappropriate acts to her, HB should just ignore it."
HB "I should -try- to ignore it, but it's really pissing me off!"
"Unless she wants to be a moral guardian and show how much of a prude she is."
HB "Sometimes I am a prude. Moral guardian? No, Somewhat of a prude yes. Cept with those I am very, very comfortable with. Then we can talk about those things. But in my current state? I'm not comfortable with anything."
"Which comes of as hypocritical not only because of how she acted while on tea, but because she didn't want Celestia to 'fix' her morality to suit ponies. ~*charges her horn and sets mode to liquify*"
HB "Magic Tea doesn't count! And I wasn't purposely flirting! Everything was coming out just wrong! And you try to talk to others about a hole in something and it not come off sounding wrong! And that was SO not the reason I didn't want Celestia to liquify my brain! I didn't want her to liquify my brain cause I don't want to die!"
"If she wants to do something, telling their boss. I just realized she hasn't decided what to do, and am probably being influenced by all the comments saying how HB should confront him aggressively (most often it is suggested HB should be violent toward him). "
Author "We'll just have to wait and see right?"
"I don't think HB should put up with that, but she doesn't have to either. It's the boss she should be telling her complaints too, NOT the employees! That includes what what she does and doesn't want messed with. "
Author "Just wait and see just wait and see. I'm glad you are still reading. Also, all black and white cats are my childrens."
3623425
Well i think HB`s special talent is breaking hearts, not in the romantic sence but more in a way of putting things in perspective.
As in breaking their vieuw of themselves so they can heal their hearts and become better beings.
So no training, just a little refining
3627343 HB sniffles. "But I don't want that talent...."
3627388
Tough luck, its better then what most get.
Really, finding gemstones as a talent?
I`d prefer breaking personalities
3626796
True, but a word for either a "Scold" or a broken-down swayback with a bad disposition is still hardly "Gasp! Oh no you di'int jus' say thaaat!?" material either.
There is something HB is not being told when she should be told, just so she wont be inclined to say it again.
3627248
I just realized she hasn't decided what to do, and am probably being influenced by all the comments saying how HB should confront him aggressively (most often it is suggested HB should be violent toward him). "
I dont think these are suggestions as expectations based on HB's behavior from the first story on. I dont know what she's going to do, but I'm sure the word "Gelding" will be coming up in conversation since she's the one PAYING for the repairs.
If there's ever a time for Rares to intervene it would be now. I'm sure a polite mention of HB being a "victim of the literary "Fate Worse Than Death" and being "in too delicate a state to even contemplate.. *ahem*..." might ring appropriate warning bells in the boss' head...
-Although HB might not be too pleased at being hinted at being a literal rape victim even if shes a figurative one, if she ever figures out the Victorian-to-pulp era code words...
3627343
You can paint any talent in a positive light. That doesn't mean it has to be the talent of the pony in question. Ponies are free to discover what makes them whole, not bound to an unwanted destiny.
3627390 HB "I guess it could be worse... I could have Diamond Tiara's talent.... Wait, What is her talent? "
3630551
Its being a spoiled trophy wife
3627248 83~Meow!
Also, many stallions? She has been hit on three times (not including the Big mac thing) the few months she has been there. I honestly don't know why, seeing as she is supposed to be ugly or something. I bet she wouldn't care about being hit on 3 times in a month or two if they were humans and female. (They don't know she is a male human.)
Moral guardian, if she tries to make them act in accordance with her morals. She didn't like it when they told her to 'act more like a pony' so why should they change who they are to suit her tastes.
~ Learn to be more in harmony.
~Learn to be more like a pony.
~Learn to be more lady-like.
~ Learn to do my chores better.. er I mean, honest!
3631729 That question can be turned back around on them too you know. Double edged sword and all that. With Celestia we understand. With the others, it's more of a case of tattling to Celestia.
Why should she change to suit their tastes?
3630551 And the downvotes on my own comments on my own story begin again...
3630662 I think that "jewelry" is a far better talent than 'trophy wife."
I like that she demands they keep the heart window. Part of me wants to just tell HB to be relax about being hit on and casually tell them she's not interested, but of course she's probably seeing her old self and the behavior that got her into this mess.
HB's got a house now, but I wonder what the next thing is going to be. A job? I suppose it depends on whatever pony is next as her instructor. After this more domestic and "settled" one, I kind of feel like we're due for some danger, or something going hugely wrong, like some of that stuff towards the end of the first book.
Well lets be calm and cool and.... shes stabbing him with his own shinbones.
3632602 She shouldn't, but why should those stallions have to find some secretive hiding place to make jokes HB finds improper. It could even be worse, that she intends for them to stop acting like themselves all together.
To tell them to stop being so crude and debased, is the same to me as telling HB to be less snide and vindictive. I find it hypocritical that it's the male in a female's body, who has an equally offensive personality that is the one to tell these people off.
The only reason I didn't mention this when she eavesdropped on Manifest Destiny, is because MD didn't seem to like doing such things anyway. The telling off merely gave him the option to change if he chose.
~ HB was the villain all along!
~ *gasp*
~Dun dun duuun!
3632607 *counters with a thumbs-up*
3636650 Thank you for the countering with the thumbs up. I mean I don't think that there should be a rule that says that you shouldn't thumbs down a comment made by the author on their own story... but there could be a bit of common courtesy and actually use the thumbs up/down button when it should actually APPLY.
sighs
Excuse my rant, but that's one of the things that childish immature youtube users do...
I can't say that I'm not biased when it comes to my own stories, but still...
Right back to your commentary!
"She shouldn't, but why should those stallions have to find some secretive hiding place to make jokes HB finds improper. It could even be worse, that she intends for them to stop acting like themselves all together."
It's cause normally these jokes would be done in private, or at least in H.B's mind, anyway. Instead of making jokes like this within an earshot of the one who is being talked about. Wait till after work.
Keep in mind that she isn't used to hearing these things outright and hearing them makes her feel weird.
"To tell them to stop being so crude and debased, is the same to me as telling HB to be less snide and vindictive. I find it hypocritical that it's the male in a female's body, who has an equally offensive personality that is the one to tell these people off."
Don't think of it as the 'male in the female's body'. That is a broad generalization that totally glosses over the, 'who H.B. is.'
Before all this? When H.B. was still Anthony?
Anthony was a bit of a prude. He didn't really like talking about sexual things with other guys. His girlfriend? Sure. Other guys at work? Not really. People at the furmeets? Only if he knew them well. And those people he gave back massages to...
Anthony was the guy that was 'shy until you got to know him.'
"The only reason I didn't mention this when she eavesdropped on Manifest Destiny, is because MD didn't seem to like doing such things anyway. The telling off merely gave him the option to change if he chose."
She can't really control which way her ears are pointed you know... They seem to like to point in the direction of the most offensive thing, least to HB, and say "hehehehe, Hey! Hey, H.B. listen to this!"
3630662 So shes worse than fleur de lis, who by context of her cutiemark has multiple talents she is great at.
3636892 That we've seen.
3630551 I assume jewelry crafting.
Unless her talent is being spoiled in which case I think she deserves to be a bitch, since that is the life she was given whether or not she wanted it. After all, who here would passively accept not only being told your one talent is being unlikable, but forced to have that talent etched into your side for everypony to see. (That seems like something someone especially creative and cruel would do.)
3640435
HB "You don't say!"
Man, I REALLY think HB should just strait out tell them what gender "He" really is. Now, i can understand not telling the Main 6 about the show, but, his original GENDER? Don't get me wrong, I can see how he would choose not to. Stuck as a different species/gender sucks (and no hands to to top it off). But, "He" could have stopped a LOT of problems or situations that he wasn't conformable with. Then again, I'm not HB and he must figure this on his own.
3640509 It's not like I'm saying Celestia isn't either of those things. She seems like such a chest master in cannon, is it really surprizing that everyone assumes she is? Just saying, maybe people judge Diamond Tiara to harshly when she is purposefully shown in a negative light.
These aren't roles chosen, but roles chosen for them. They are told to anticipate their life being chosen as children completely unaware of anything other than the insults flung to those who are still free. To be told as a child that your one talent is that of being a burden on those around you?
Truly such a life would be lonely. Fans of the CMC praise them for the trouble they cause for others, but still resent DT for a few childish insults? Hypocrisy!
3642589 Haven't a clue how to respond to this one.
3647650
Gosh, I can't believe that I missed this update. Curse my lack of online reading.
What a nice chapter. Have I told you that I really like those snapdragons I'm so happy that HB likes them too but they might have an *accident* if they threaten the construction workers.
How intelligent are they? Can she tell them to lay low? Maybe even literally as in crawling underground?
And now I can't get the awesome image of some intruder being surrounded by snapdragons popping up around him.
That and HB as a Bulbasaur with a snapdragon on her back. The plant gets to be carried around for food and sunlight, while HB gets to *snap* at anypony who hits on her. (from a mountain, a drum and a pair of cymbals fall down.)
Anyway, with her luck, HB will have a talent for attracting stallions and be faced with *bestiality* every day. She still sees ponies as talking animals, right?
No Herby shipping makes me sad but I can't help that as I just love happy endings and Derpy is too cute
Some romance might do you a world of good darling.
-break : Not even if I were the last fertile mare in all of Equestria.! *Oh no, I just jinxed myself, didn't I?*
P.s.: Yes, I do like to see HB in embarrassing situations, why do you ask?
3643729 Yesh, that means I win!
3645673 Noooo, it means I agree with some of the points about DT and think that they apply to HB as well.
However, I don't see them becoming buddy buddy anytime soon.
HB just knows too much.
3647650 Actually she knows very little. It's just she is good at putting emphasis on the importance of what she does know. someone knowing a single year of your life? That starts after you suddenly become famous? I'm sure if ponies had a paparazzi (a competent one atleast) their would be hundreds of ponies who could do the same.
If she knows so much she would know more than just gossip involving the elements of harmony, which when you get down to it is all she does. oh, I just realized that MLP: FIM is like a tabloid on the personal lives of the Elements of harmony. It has gossip, public appearances, articles about their families, and even insight into their childhood.
3650268 To her? That's still too Much. And she might know things about future events.
3650914 She also might not. After all she went into a parallel world right? Not the actual show, that's what the rainbow bridge stuff was about. That means stuff in the show doesn't necessarily predict the future.
3650914 So, is there any chance we can get some clarification on the shorthand and/or anagrams?
I'd like to know what they meant by 'mark, tag, or tail' (I know they're talking about positions, but I can't for the lie of me place any except 'tail'.) And 'M.I.R.L.' and other such things.
3669907
M.I.L.R
I can only guess that would stand for Mare I'd Like to Rut.
As for Mark, tag, and tail. I can only guess it's which base you'd take them to.
Also no reference to any of the builders having The Sun or equestrian variant thereof? Clearly not real builders.
A great read as usual
3682135 Heh, thanks for that. Clears at least the anagram up.
3682135 Having the sun?
3684205
British newspaper, stereotypically read by builders and other hard men because of page 3, where there is always something a hot blooded man can appreciate.
3684524 ... I must not be a hot blooded man...