When you lose one of the most important things in your life then it takes forever to find something or someone to fill the gap.
Chapters (3)
TheTimePony
Joined 26th Feb, 2013 ·
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we all need a good pinkie story every now and again
thanks for the comment
This is an okay start, although you have a tendency to become a little rambly in places - it feels a lot like 'this happened and then this happened and then this happened', which makes it a little hard to follow.
Other minor nitpicks:
Lucas Flint doesn't seem to know the name of the person he's writing to. ;)
Character names (and episode titles) should be capitalised: eg. Pinkie Pie.
Aside from those problems, it kept my interest and ends with some good suspense, so well done :)
thanks for pointing out my mistakes ill fix them in a sec. I know i did go on a bit like you said but heck pinkie pie is like that. one second she will be bouncing around then flying in a made up helicopter so this story is gonna be random. But don't think it will be comedy as its says its supposed to be sad but i wont make it too depressing.
(This was part of my reply to hawhornbunny) the reason the name was wrong was because the character name was supposed to be richard and i forgot to change it..... sorry everyone
There's still quite a lot of grammar problems (mostly capitalisation) but this was a very sweet chapter with lots of emotion. You're doing a good job of conveying the action through your character. Keep it up! :)
let me just say i was worried that i wasn't going to get this chapter done so i sped up process time and well yeah ill fix it up now
Chapter 3 will be out by end of March
I like it so far! There were a few minor grammar errors, but I like it!
It seems like a much more descriptive version of My Little Dashie so far. I like it. But it's a little weird when he calls her his child so soon. Oh well. I'll be watching to see what happens!
I just got a notification about chapter 3, but it's password locked. I'm going to guess that FiMFiction is sending notifications when it's not supposed to :)
yes about that i accidentally pressed the button when i went to edit and everyone got the notice sorry
2308003
child so soon.
Well i know it's weird 2 chapters and he says it's his child but hey you bring a lil "thing" off the street then tend to it's wounds and it sort of feels like your child. I dunno never had the experience.
Nice chapter, this is a promising story you got there. You should maybe have done a little bit more about her learning to read and write. But still a good chapter, look forward to the next one.
i knew you would start to find it
next chapter come out around 10th of April.