• Member Since 13th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen May 29th, 2019

zet22x


T

Last of his family and Luna as his mother. Whats gonna happen? Check it out and let me know what you think.

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 3 )

You need to start using speech marks for dialogue...

I see your using speech marks more often but not for all of the dialogue. Other than that I like this story so far.

Also the fuck?: Oh how sweet of you, such a genital colt you are

The correct spelling should be gentlecolt. I had a very wierd picture created in my mind because of that one sentence.

I would like to point out there are quite a few spelling mistakes. I would point them all out but i'm being lazy today.

Try to fix these problems if possible.

Heh, no problem. I will go over your chapters for spelling mistakes and such and then message you the results if you want (When I get home of course).

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