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Michael. Arc angel

Last of his family and Luna as his mother. Whats gonna happen? Check it out and let me know what you think.

Chapters (5)

Gamble · 30th Jan 2012 · 1,775 words
1,775
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Law and Responsiblites · 25th Jan 2012 · 1,371 words
1,371
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A day in the life · 26th Jan 2012 · 1,090 words
1,090
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Mother’s week · 27th Jan 2012 · 2,651 words
2,651
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Mother’s week 2-3 · 28th Jan 2012 · 4,670 words
4,670
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Comments ( 3 )

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DashWithRainbows

DashWithRainbows #1 · Jan 27th, 2012 · · · A day in the life ·

You need to start using speech marks for dialogue...

DashWithRainbows

DashWithRainbows #2 · Jan 27th, 2012 · · · Mother’s week ·

I see your using speech marks more often but not for all of the dialogue. Other than that I like this story so far.

Also the fuck?: Oh how sweet of you, such a genital colt you are

The correct spelling should be gentlecolt. I had a very wierd picture created in my mind because of that one sentence.

I would like to point out there are quite a few spelling mistakes. I would point them all out but i'm being lazy today.

Try to fix these problems if possible.

DashWithRainbows

DashWithRainbows #3 · Jan 30th, 2012 · · · Mother’s week 2-3 ·

Heh, no problem. I will go over your chapters for spelling mistakes and such and then message you the results if you want (When I get home of course).