The Onion: Equestrian Bureau

by The Read Later List

Unicorn Actor, Funny Depth, Set to Star as Tonto the Buffalo in Upcoming Movie

Appaloosa, Equestria- Fans from around the world are waiting with baited breath for the release of The Lone Stallion, featuring unicorn Funny Depth as a 400 pound buffalo. Although this is by far the actor’s most ambitious role to date, few carry doubts that the unicorn will be able to imitate a creature that is has an entirely different body type.

“I can’t wait for The Lone Stallion to come out,” stated a young filly named Silver Spoon. “Funny Depth is my favorite actor of all time! There’s nothing he can’t do; whether it be act as an earth pony pirate, an insane pegasus who lours foals into his glue factory, or even a big wooly mammal that can’t speak equestrian very well.”

There are still some, however, that are against the actor playing a different species in the movie. “This is a disgrace,” said Chief Thunderhooves, leader of the last remaining tribe of buffalo. “You ponies have forced my kind into extinction and now... now you decide to make a movie about the buffalo... without a buffalo! Who would have ever thought this would be a good idea?! I mean, I may have been alright with this if it had been Tom Tanks, but Funny Depth? That’s just an insult.”

Funny Depth was unable to comment as he was passed out from having to wear a 200 pound fur suit to accommodate for the difference in size.

Funny Depth on the right, wearing his full buffalo suit

Comments

[TJAW]

Fun fact: Thunderhooves' VA is the same as Tahu from Bionicle: The Mask of Light.

[CartsBeforeHorses]

Lol! Yeah, it's like, they can't get a Native American actor? There's plenty of them around. What about that guy who played Chakotay on Star Trek: Voyager? I'm sure he would love another role.

[The Read Later List]

2855040 Actually... that isn't a bad idea. I could use that in a story I'm writing right now. Thanks!

[The Read Later List]

2928448 thank you! I aim to please!

[an1979]

"an insane pegasus who lours foals"
an insane pegasus who lures folas foals

[NewKerbalEmpire]

3203806 "folas"
foals

[an1979]

7114012
Right!
Fixed, that typo - shame on me ;)