The Onion: Equestrian Bureau

by The Read Later List

Foals Dared to Sleep in Old Abandoned Glue Factory

The three fillies at the beginning of the night

Ponyville, Equestria- Following a dare which prompted many oohs and ahhs from the children of Ponyville Elementary, three fillies who dub themselves The Cutie Mark Crusaders, had no choice but to accept the challenge and prepare for a night of shrill terror inside the abandoned Ponyville glue factory.

“When Diamond Tiara started going on about me being a chicken, I had no choice,” stated Scootaloo, a young pegasus who attends Ponyville Elementary. “When she mentioned the glue factory, all I could do was accept. Oh Celestia, what have I done?”

The factory, which sources have described as the creepiest thing ever, stands atop the old Ponyville cemetery, which only adds to the grandiose amount of discomfort the three will have to endure for at least 8 hours, per the dare's rules. Even though most members of the group seem adamant about the excursion into the barren offices and abandoned factory floor, one filly is not.

“Why? Why did it have to be the glue factory?” Said the sole unicorn member of the CMC, Sweetie Belle. “I heard that a long time ago, [the factory] used to be haunted by the ghost of it’s old forepony. To this day, he still roams the halls of the building, demanding that his workers stop messing around before he calls a supervisor. I get shivers just thinking about it.” Despite her hesitations about spending the night in the creepy factory, she reluctantly agreed to Diamond Tiara’s request that she sleeps near the large furnace in the basement.

Before the trio left their clubhouse we asked why the three would agree to such a reckless adventure into the unknown.

“It’s because we can’t let that bitch Diamond Tiara have the last laugh,” said Scootaloo. “And the Cutie Mark Crusaders never turn down a challenge! Plus, we might just get our cutie marks in ghostbusting! Isn’t that right girls!” Immediately, all three busted out into a chorus of “Yeah’s” and began to head toward the factory.

“Plus, it’s not like I have anywhere else to stay the night,” commented Scootaloo.

The three brave fillies then made their way up to factory; the site of which at least 300 grisly murders were committed. Nopony has gone near the factory since the owners were convicted, but sources confirmed that the first round of murders were only the beginning.

Author's Note:

Hey folks, sorry if this article isn't quite up to snuff. I'm trying to get back into the swing of things now that I finally have spare time on my hands. Expect future articles and follow me to read a few other stories I'm working on.

Comments

[Rakaziel]

This series is great! I love your articles! Some lines should not be crossed, but you manage to cross them twice.